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Be a Great Kisser – How To REALLY Kiss a Girl

Become the greatest kisser in the world Want to become the greatest kisser in the world? Read on...

Kissing and foreplay are just means to get to sex, right? WRONG. Sex is all about giving, and girls love foreplay. You really should too.

No woman in this world enjoys the feeling that their boyfriend is using her as a masturbation tool. He barely gets in before he “shoots”.

She’s not even sure he’s in before he’s out again. The lights go off, and they both go to sleep. You really want to be that guy?

Start taking a new perspective on sex instead: The perspective of doing it for her. Make it as pleasurable for her as you possibly can; I promise you it will be better for you too.

Foreplay and kissing

As I started out by saying, girls LOVE foreplay. And a huge part of great foreplay is great kissing. Learn how to kiss, and you’ll learn the whole art of pleasure and sex. Kissing is in many ways two souls connecting on a very deep level. You’re extremely vulnerable when you kiss. Closed eyes, close body contact.

A lot has been written on the subject of kissing (also by me), but there’s still a lot to be said.

The following is a “technique” that I myself have been using to great success. Success measured in pleasure for her, that is.

It’s all about the anticipation. You can use this if it’s your first time kissing a particular girl. You can also use it on your wife through 30 years.

It’s based on the assumption that girls love to be whispered in the ear. Everyone’s different, and if you know that she absolutely hates it, do not pass go, do not collect €300. But there’s a good chance she does. Give it a try if you’re not sure.


The “real” kissing technique

When you’re talking, hold the eye contact. Move a few inches closer, look down at her lips, and look back into her eyes. Give her a sly smile and hold the sensual eye contact.

Your words will start to matter less, you will speak slower. The both of you should be able to feel the sexual tension.

Lean in, moving slowly, and whisper the following words into her ear: “In a moment, I am going to kiss you like you have never been kissed before”.

Remember to whisper really quiet, barely hearable. And definitely only to be heard by her if there are anybody nearby.

Hold the eye contact after leaning back. Lower your chin, look at her lips, and look back into her eyes.

Keep talking a little bit, depending on her reaction. Go for the kiss whenever you feel appropriate. You’re totally in control.

To add some extra suspense and anticipation, lean in like you’re going to kiss her, but don’t. Pull back.

Mastering this move can seriously drive any woman crazy. Be ware of the consequences…


The kiss itself

All the anticipation and sexual tension in the world won’t make up for a lousy kiss. Sorry!

It can cover it, it can make it better, but not in a degree that matters. The kiss itself is what it’s all about.

5 Easy Kissing Tips

  • The most important thing when kissing is to take it slow. Don’t rush anything, make every second count.
  • Be really gentle and sensuous. Kiss the same way you would eat a big, red, delicious strawberry. Just slower. Taste every little bite, embrace everything.
  • Don’t bring in mr. tongue in too early (or not at all)
  • Add some gentle biting instead. The lower lip works best for this. Again, go with the “tasting something really nice” feel.
  • Remember to use your hands while kissing. This is a big one guys. All girls love to have their heads held in some way while kissing. Hands through her hair (slowly, but with force and strength) is usually a winner. Feel your way through it, do what she likes. It’s all about making her feel secure.

I guess that’s it. Here are 3 other articles I have written on the topic of kissing:

5 Tips on Kissing Passionately from 5 Women 5 of my girlfriends speak up on kissing. Highly recommended!

The 5 Most Common Kissing Mistakes Men Make The don’ts of kissing.

How To be The Perfect KisserThe opposite. Some great comments, little old post though.

If you have a minute to spare, please write me a comment with some thoughts / a report / whatever. I would love to hear from you! So please, don’t hold back :-)

I really appreciate it.

Stay cool, and see you in the comments section!

Get top notch kissing tips delivered free to your mailbox or RSS reader. Click here!

Top Image by WTL Photos. Thanks. It’s a beautiful picture. Second one by Julia. Last one by darkroom11.

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31 thoughts on “Be a Great Kisser – How To REALLY Kiss a Girl

  1. Justin

    Great article!Everyone knows woman dont like to kiss a lizard…well most dont anyway!I would have to agree on the taking it slow part its not a race so make it as sensual as possible & she will more than likely melt.

  2. StartBreakingFree.com

    Good article overall.

    I’m not sure this is quite right though: “In a moment, I am going to kiss you like you have never been kissed before”

    It comes from a frame of “I’m trying hard to be better and impress you”, she is now in a position to judge you and compare it to other kisses. You are just trying to share a moment together, not create a competition.

    Something like “I want to kiss you SO bad right now” might be better to build the sexual tension.

    Overall great advice though, keep it up.

  3. Alex


    I am not sure I agree wholeheartedly, but I do understand your point. I guess that it depends on the “frame” you have used untill the kiss sequence. It should be congruent with your other actions.

    Thanks for your comment! Appreciated.

  4. Ryan

    Hey Alex,

    Great tips, especially the 5 tips – that is nice stuff. One tip that I would add is this:

    -While making out, slide down and kiss her neck right above her collar bone and give her a few gentle bites and some gentle sucking while still embracing her.

    This is kind of a combo of some of those tips you mentioned.

    A girl did this to me recently and it felt freakin incredible.

    Thanks for the post.

  5. Alex

    What’s up Ryan,

    you’re welcome and thanks for the words.

    That is a great tip/technique, one of the more “advanced” ones I would say ;)

    Sounds great. To anyone who reads this: Give it a try. See if she likes it. You have nothing to lose…

    Best regards,

  6. melissa

    Awesome article! Husbands especially should read this. Over time they forget about these very important details and many wives are uncomfortable about bringing up the topic. Luckily, I’m not one of those wives, LOL.

  7. Alex


    That’s great! Keep your man tight if he doesn’t know how to do things properly! lol

    But be subtle, please. Otherwise he’ll feel castrated. Something subtle (but not so subtle) as a book for a gift works great.

  8. Alex S

    I disagree with the doing it for her part. People are selfish and being selfish is being honest. You get pleasure from her enjoying herself the same as she would from you enjoying yourself.

    When you make it about her pleasure she will feel your neediness and you reaching for her approval-this will be a huge turn off for her.

    Great article. I’m going to suggest something too that you teach her how to be a great kisser. It will put you in the teacher role which is very attractive to women. Some might get an ego about it and others will greatly appreciate the helpful advice.

    Forget the ones who get upset by it. You don’t want to hook up with a lousy kisser anyways.

  9. Alex

    Teaching her how to kiss can work great in the context of love – and only love in my experience. Don’t try to “change” her, the female in her will most likely reject it. What I like to do is to just show her with the kiss how to do it. Most women get it quite fast.

    Doing it for her part is not about approval or neediness, at least it doesn’t have to be. I always love getting other people’s opinions, but Alex this time I do not agree with you.

    When I feel that she enjoys herself, of course I enjoy the whole thing more. Especially if I do it “for her” anyway :-)

    No hard feelings, just a slightly other opinion.

    Take care!

  10. Scot

    Can I just say that the best kiss is one that has no thought, but only feeling? If you’re both feeling it you won’t have anything to be judged on :)

    – Scot

  11. Alex


    you’re absolutely right.

    But those kisses are far and between unfortunately. With the right “techniques” and mindset you can make it almost as good (or even better)

    It’s all about the foundation you have laid for the relationship. If she trusts you, if she respects you, and if you lead her, almost any kiss will feel fantastic for her if it does for you.

    Glad to see you on the blog :-)

    Take care’

  12. Debt Free or Bust - Sherri

    From a woman’s perspective – I NEED A COLD SHOWER!

    Very hot and right on!

    Now if we could get every man in the world to read this article and apply the technique like their life depended on it, women would be very happy indeed!

    Husbands and boyfriends (and girlfriends as the case many be) pay attention and do what Alex says. You’ll get a lot more of what you want than with wham, bam, thank you ma’am.


  13. Avis Bailee

    there isn’t really a way to kiss right. Just make the mood right, and press your lips against hers. but don’t kiss all Unconfident like lol. i don’t know how to say it.

    uuhhhh…. make it a firm kiss lol if you understand. but don’t be rough… and don’t flex your lips or else it will feel like shes kissing a rock lol…

  14. Alex

    Avis, I understand.

    But that’s not good advice for people searching for kissing tips!

    Haha, thanks anyway. You’re saying all the right things :-)

  15. Leslie

    Been perusing your site and must say you have some spot on advice! I am recently single after many yrs of marriage and am in the beginning phase of a relationship with a coworker also recently…
    first he lets me know he has a crush on me; a friendship begins to grow with flirty but respectful texts over the next cpl of months, primarily initiated by him.

    We go for a drive one night and kiss before saying godbye.
    Suddenly things become less flirty, but the next kiss is really long, hot and passionate ( after talking for a couple hours about our lives )and yet with a measure of respect from him in not taking it further.
    But you could tell he was ready and oh my,it was incredible!
    He initiates small talk at work today then seems to avoid me.
    Does he regret it? do things change after a guy kisses you? What is he thinking?
    Having not dated for so many years I am a little confused how I should act.
    Pull back? give him space? Act as if nothing has changed? What does a man really want from a woman? How can I tell if he is actually interested in a more of a relationship? Any advice?

  16. Alex


    In my opinion, you have two options. The first one is to confront him. I don’t know which kind of man he is, and I don’t know you, but that could work. At least you get to know how he feels. Just ask him what’s up etc. Don’t sound too “needy” though.

    The second approach is to, as you say, give him some space. Just let things progress (or regress) as they’re doing right now. Maybe something will change; maybe not.

    It’s impossible for me to say, all I can say is that I hope it works out for you.

    Best of luck!

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  19. austine

    well Alex, i really really agreed with your opinon, i thank you for your idea, i have learn something from it.

    but i have a problem, how can i realy confince my girl to understand the important of kissing befor sex? because she likes romance then sex befor kiss.

    but what i understand know is that kissing drive one to sex and romance but she like underwise.

    so Alex enlighten me well on romance and sex please.


  20. Christopher

    I will try what you said, don’t rush it take it easy. Thanks i will try that.

    Christopher lambert

  21. t061as

    thanks for the advise, neither my girlfriend or me have been in a relationship befoer, but its nice to know that i can still count on the internet for help! u rock!

  22. matthew

    thank you i tried what you said and it worked perfectly.and lets say i wasnt the one who brought in mr.tounge

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  24. CraftyPeat

    I read the article and my jaw kind of dropped…
    I just noticed that I did every single of these tips on my ex and I didn’t even know them at that moment…
    And to make things worse, my ex and I broke up 4 months ago and she still wants me back.
    Is this because I made her feel secure?
    Because then everything finally makes sense to me.

  25. Makhi

    Hey thanks ur article gave me the courage to do it so all adds up till tomorrow and again thanks I have never kissed a girl before so this helps and all was good in the article!!!!!!!!! :)