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How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time EVER (Without Screwing it Up!)

There's a first time for everything... Even kissing someone There's a first time for everything... Even kissing someone

Kissing a girl for the first time ever can be a daunting task. Will she kiss you back? Is it the right time to kiss her? Does she even like you?

The questions are endless. But with these kissing tips your chances of a successful kiss will be close to 100%. Now all you need is the right girl!

Let’s start out with the first tip on how to kiss a girl for the first time; “be sure of what you want”…

  1. Be sure of what you want

    Few things are more irresistible to a woman than a man who knows what he wants.

    So do both of you a favor by making sure that you really find her attractive before trying to kiss her.

    Finding the right woman is half the battle. Once that is taken care of, you just have to put in the work.

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  2. Read the signals

    Even though I firmly believe that you can kiss a girl who haven’t entirely decided whether she finds you attractive or not, getting some kind of green light before trying is usually a pretty good strategy.

    So, what to look for? The first one is the easiest – does she want to hang out with you?

    If she’s comfortable enough with you to spend time with you under four eyes, you’re already almost there.

    Just don’t make her too comfortable… Lack of excitement usually leads to lack of attraction… Which in turn leads to lack of kissing.

    You don’t want to get stuck in the “friend zone”! (Learn the #1 secret reason why guys get stuck in the friend zone by clicking here…)

    There are a few other signals you can look for apart from her physically feeling comfortable around you and wanting to spend time with you.

    Here are some of the most common signals:

    • She’s laughing at your jokes
    • She’s smiling, having fun and clearly enjoying your company
    • She’s touching you
    • She’s playing with her hair
    • She’s moisturizing her lips
    • She both listens and talks
    • She clearly tries to impress you
    Good looking girlOh, there’s a girl on the left?
  3. Show her that you like her before kissing her

    A lot of guys have a hard time striking the right balance between being totally shy… And absolutely showering her with compliments.

    What you want to do is to casually let her know that you think she’s cool and that you dig her company.

    You can do this in many ways, but a great way to do it with your body is by having very open body language towards her.

    Being open and vulnerable is a great way to show girls that you aren’t afraid of them as well as showing them that you’re comfortable around them.

    But also don’t be afraid to compliment her if she has done something that genuinely deserves a compliment.

    And even though telling her that she looks great is a bit old, it’s also very effective in getting women to both smile and blush. Pair it with a sly smirk and she won’t be able to resist you…

  4. Get comfortable touching each other

    If you’re frequently hugging, holding hands and massaging each other, progressing to kissing isn’t that big of a step. And if there’s one thing that scares people (and girls in particular) away, it’s big steps.

    Take baby steps – right from your first interaction.

    Get comfortable touching her arm, shoulder or back if she says something funny. Get comfortable hugging her when you greet her. And don’t be afraid to kiss her on her chin, either.

    If you’ve known her for a while, you don’t want to do all of this out of nowhere. Simply start touching and flirting more and ramp it up in a natural way.

  5. Flirt and tease (her pants off!)

    Flirting is the KEY to EVERYTHING with women. Flirt flirt flirt, and then flirt some more. Get playful, tease her and have fun.

    Being able to flirt the right way will instantly show women that you are a high-caliber, witty, free and confident man. And which woman doesn’t want one of those?

    For more on flirting, read the post “Bantering: Now You Can Get Women, Be Social and Have a Blast at the Same Time

  6. Don’t wait until the last minute

    A very common mistake among men is to wait until the last minute to kiss a girl.

    Sure, it can work, but kissing her before saying goodbye will show her that you won’t hesitate getting what you want. And that’s a very attractive thing.

    You’ll get more nervous the longer you wait to kiss her. Simply eliminate the nervousness by making a bold move earlier on the date, and voila! Problem solved.

  7. Don’t ask for permission

    Asking a girl for permission to kiss her is like shooting yourself in the foot… A very bad idea.

    You may actually get the kiss – but she won’t respect you for it …And she definitely won’t find it as sexy as if you’ve just took control and kissed her.

    You need to be ballsy. And it’s not always easy. But it’s the only way to ever kiss a girl.

    Beautiful girlDon’t ask for permission – just kiss her.
  8. Move slowly into the kiss

    Moving slowly into the kiss will show her that you’re confident (instead of nervous).

    It also has the benefit of calming yourself in the process – making the whole affair much more smooth than had you rushed it.

    Simply move very slowly towards her when you want to kiss her. Use the “3-point kissing gaze” to be absolutely sure of getting that amazing kiss.

  9. Use the 3-point kissing gaze

    The 3-point kissing gaze is very simple. Look into her eye, look at her lips, and then look her in the eye again.

    Do it slowly and it works every time. She may even start leaning into you for the kiss automatically herself.

    It works perfect as “foreplay” to the kiss, but you can do it anytime to turn up the heat in the room if you wish.

    Just don’t tease her too much, ‘kay? If she’s just a little unsure of herself (and aren’t we all…) she might get too insecure and lose the attraction for you in the process.

  10. Don’t make any of the most common kissing mistakes

    Guys do make a lot of kissing mistakes. Here are some of the most common one’s:

    • Don’t rush the kiss. A kiss is a sensitive and delicate thing – so slow it down. Take your time to really connect with her and find each other’s tempos. Just like you listen to her words when she speaks, you need to listen to her body when you kiss.
    • Be aware of your tongue. French kissing can be incredibly sexy – but only if done right. Unfortunately, many men try to shovel their tongues down the girls throats, and needless to say, this is not what you want to do.

      Again, take it slowly and be very sensitive to how she responds. If she opens her mouth just a little bit, try to do the same. Let the tongue come into play naturally and you’ll be good to go.

    • Fix your bad breath. This one is an easy fix, yet a lot of people seem to think that they don’t belong in this category. My philosophy is that you can’t be too sure. Chewing gum, brushing your teeth and having a glass of water or two will usually do the trick.
    • Don’t open your eyes. While kissing her, that is. Keep them closed and enjoy the kiss instead!
    • Ease up, broseph. Let go of all your tensions while kissing her. Relax your muscles, breathe slowly and you’ll be good to go.
    You only get one chance for a first kissYou only get one chance for a first kiss
  11. Give her a kiss to remember

    If you kiss her the right way, she won’t be able to forget you.

    • Kiss her at a romantic spot. Find a nice and romantic spot for your first kiss. As long as you’re relatively private and feel safe, you’re good to go.
    • Use your hands. While using your lips to feel hers, use your hands to discover the rest of her body. Try running them through her hair or pulling her in close. Touching a girl the right way is the key to dialing up the sexual tension between you.
    • Keep ramping up. Stalling is seldom a good thing, and neither is it when it comes to kissing. Keep ramping up the tension and kiss her more passionately – just remember to listen to how her body responds while doing it.
    • Be the leader. Feminine girls are followers energy-wise, so don’t be afraid to lead her. Take charge and let her know that you’re a man.
    • Keep it moist. You don’t want either a dry or a wet kiss. Moist is what we’re going for.
    • Enjoy it. If you truly enjoy it, she most likely will too.
  12. Take a chance!

    You can still try to kiss her even though you aren’t absolutely sure that she likes you as much as you like her.

    The fact that you have the balls to try will sometimes even be enough to convince her.

    And a girl will always respect a man for knowing what he wants, and then trying to get it – no matter the result.

    And to be honest, the longer you wait to kiss a girl the harder it also becomes.

    The longer you stay friends, the harder it will be for her to look at you in a romantic way – so take a chance and see what happens!

    With all the kissing tips from this article you will at least know exactly what to both do and don’t – and she most likely haven’t met too many men who can say the same.

    So don’t hesitate. Get out there and kiss her!


What do you talk to a girl about?

Rely on the moment to tell you “what to talk about”; you will never run out of great topics if you’re present in the moment as well as listen to her.

In general, it’s easiest to start of light.

Starting a conversation by asking her about her life philosophy can be cool with some girls, but starting out by talking about something recent, like “how has your day been?” is much easier.

All good conversation starters are situation dependent.

If weekend is coming up you can ask her if she has any interesting plans, if she has just returned from a vacation you can ask her about that etc.

As long as you’re just letting the conversation flow, listening to what she has to say and saying a few interesting things yourself, you’re more than good to go.

What’s the best time to kiss a girl for the first time?

There really is no “best time” to kiss a girl. The best time will always be the time where the attraction between you is peaking – but as you won’t know for sure, you simply have to rely on your gut.

If you’re having fun, flirting and laughing, sometimes a few seconds of silence and gazing into each others eyes occurs. This is a good time to kiss her.

But anytime can work, really. I like to steer away from the cliché of waiting until saying goodbye to kiss a girl for the first time, but even that can work just fine.

Just kiss her at a time where you feel comfortable and relaxed. If you’re relaxed, she’ll be too.

How can I tell if she likes it or not?

If you’re in doubt at all, chance is that she doesn’t like it. If she enjoys the kiss you won’t be in doubt as she won’t stop kissing you. Also listen for small moans to know for sure. But in general, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about as long as she’s not pulling away when you try to kiss her.

What to do if I’m feeling nervous kissing her?

The best thing to do if you’re feeling nervous is to calm down and take a deep breath.

Realize that you really have nothing to be afraid of – and that being nervous will only make whatever bad thing you’re picturing actually come true.

As long as you’re present and open as well as relaxed, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Take a deep breath, and remember to have fun!

Is it OK to kiss on a first date?

Absolutely. If the tension and attraction is there, you have no excuse not to kiss her. The sooner you kiss her, the sooner you find out if you’re compatible and the sooner you get to know if she likes you, too.


If done right, kissing can be a wonderful thing. Follow the tips in this guide and I’m sure that you won’t have anything to worry about.

If you worry about not being able to attrach ze ladies in the first run and not even getting to where you can kiss them, The Tao of Bad Ass is probably for you.

Josh just put up a VERY unconventional video about a simple “hack” you can use to attract way more women. Check out the video by clicking here.

Have any questions, want anything clarified or want to share a cool kissing story? Simply post a comment by using the comment form below.

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8 thoughts on “How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time EVER (Without Screwing it Up!)

  1. Pingback: How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time EVER (Without Screwing it Up!) « PUA Central

  2. Jarod


    One thing I like to do that makes kissing easier is have the girl sit on my lap. ‘Cause right after she sits down her face is right in mine, lol. Now the lean in gap isn’t all that far.

    These tips are great and I agree with, Rachel… a lot of guys should read this post.


  3. goundy

    Because of Hollywood -especially Disney- we picture the kiss to be the final scene which is followed by the ‘assumed’ happy ending. Reality is when it comes to chicks I find that the kiss is almost never the determining factor in weather your going to get laid, have a relationship or if your even going to stay in contact.

    Clubs are a good example. Can you remember how many people you’ve made out with in a club? Neither can I. It was just a mode of expression relevant to the time.

    Even picking up during the day or meeting up with girls after, I find that even after making out, its the ‘sealing the deal’.

    The only true ‘deal sealers’ are sex (even sex can’t guarantee a girl will stick around sometimes) and getting a relationship.

    Just my 2c.

    Check out my blog for the latest articles, videos and guides on picking up. http://www.goundy.com

  4. Will Legend

    Agreed with goundy here. First kisses can be a bit overrated.

    It’s also not rocket science. This is a useful guide, but if you two are both having a good time, and the energy is good, then go in for the kiss.

    I’ve interviewed one girl who said her now-boyfriend didn’t kiss her until the third or fourth date, and that it was horrible. Yet, two years later, they’re still together. Check out the interview here: http://www.decodeher.com/free_video_fd/

  5. The Project Chicago Lair

    I really liked these. I’m especially glad you included #1 and #3. I’ve found it’s SO important that you ACTUALLY ARE attracted to a girl, and LET HER KNOW. But unfortunately so much of the dogma of the seduction community says you need to “keep her guessing” and “play hard to get” that guys think they are going to just magically go from pretending they have no interest in a woman to making out with her. Also, I think a lot of guys go after women just to feed some insecurity or deficiency in their ego, when they aren’t really attracted to the girl at all (and she can sense it). I’m definitely going to recommend this post to others. Keep it up!