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Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close

Why do bad boys get the good girls? Why do bad boys get the good girls?

A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.

So what exactly defines a bad boy?

In its most simple definition, a bad boy is someone who works outside the norms of society. He doesn’t follow rules, he f**king makes them himself!

It’s really all about the mindset; the attitude. He just doesn’t give a damn.

A bad boy is also incredibly unpredictable. One moment he might be your best friend; the next you’re outside getting your ass kicked. For no reason at all.

His looks witness his personality; adventurous, unpredictable, raw. Exactly what he wears doesn’t matter – it’s the way he wears it that counts.

Typical bad boy traits:

  • He always put himself first.
  • Does what he wants, whenever he wants.
  • He’s extremely arrogant.
  • Abuse the people around him.
  • He’s really dominant
  • Create a lot of drama.
  • Has high masculinity.
  • Has very high sexual confidence, and he knows how to please a woman.
  • He’s dangerous, and you never really know where you have him.
  • Lead an exciting life.
  • Gets a lot of girls.

And it’s that last trait that’s interesting. Bad boys generally get lots of girls. And even though they treat them like sh*t, they keep coming back… Because the sex is so exciting. And not only the sex:

Everything about the bad boy is exciting. Being with one is like riding a giant roller coaster for a woman; there are incredible emotional highs, and there are incredible emotional lows.

sexy urban man

Wussies and nice guys

Wussies on the other hand, are almost the exact opposite. In “pick up glossary”, a wussy can also be called an “AFC” – an Average Frustrated Chump. You could also call him a needy guy, or a nice guy, whatever works for you.

Nice guys generally don’t get girls. And when most nice guys do get laid, they often refer to it as “getting lucky”.

Typical nice guy traits:

  • He’s available all the time.
  • dresses “nice”.
  • Only talks about “death topics” (family, politics, economy etc.)
  • Calls 27 times a day, and leaves “cute messages” in her voicemail.
  • Compliments her all day long (mostly on her looks)
  • His body language is “stiff” (center of gravity in the middle, arms hanging pointlessly at the sides)
  • Never takes risks.
  • He’s dependable, and she always knows exactly where she haves him.
  • Always shows up 10 minutes early.
  • Lives a boring, predictable life.
  • Doesn’t get a lot of girls. Few to none actually.
  • And when he does, she usually ends it with the “let’s just be friends” phrase.

Said in simpler words, a wussy is boring as hell.

And who wants boring? I know for sure that I don’t. My life is too short for boring.

What women really want

A lot of girls feel the same. They want entertainment, someone to have fun with, someone to excite them. They want drama, someone to make them feel!

Most guys don’t make women feel anything else than plain boredom.

If she feels like she’s in complete control over the situation, if there’s no element of excitement, no surprises and if you’re so predictable, she actually knows what you’re going to do before you do it, you become boring. Booooring I tell you.
Don’t let that happen!

So now we have the definitions of both a bad boy and a wussy (or a nice guy).

My guess is that, since you’re reading this, you’re interested in having more success with women.

You know from your own life that lots of the bad guys often get the good girls. Now you have more of an idea why that is.

But you don’t want to turn into an abusive jerk just to get good with women, right? That probably wouldn’t work anyway.

So we have to find a better solution…

What about taking all the good stuff from the bad boys, and ditching all the negative?

Wouldn’t that create the perfect man? I certainly think so.

Because there usually are a lot of negative things to say about the typical bad boy.

He’s usually very paranoid. He is over-protective, controlling, jealous, and basically wants to keep her for himself. These are very negative traits, since trust and respect are the building stones for every successful relationship.

He’s mentally unstable. He’s inconsiderable, selfish and abusive. And once again, the list could go on and on.

Then what IS so sexy about the bad boy?

Most women become addicted. Addicted to the drama, addicted to the amazing sex, addicted to his masculinity and confidence.

For high self-esteem women, one day she can’t take it anymore. She decides to leave, the drama has become too much.

For low self-esteem women on the other hand, they often stick to him like flies stick to flypaper. A lot of women end up getting married to bad boys.


Enough about the bad boys…

Let’s focus on making you better.

The first step is to realize your “bad” nice guy traits, and why they just don’t cut it.

For this to happen, you have to gain some knowledge on female psychology. (There should be a lot of info on this site… Also check out the book review of “double your dating”, where David spends a great deal of time talking about just that.)

The next step is to eliminate your bad traits. This is easier said than done. If you have been a wussy all your life, knocking him out of you easily can take some time, and it needs a lot of self-realization.

At the third step it’s time to pick up some new traits.

The balance between bad boy and nice guy looks something like this:

  • You are dominant without being domineering.
  • You are masculine without being macho.
  • You are forthright and trustworthy.
  • You are considerate without being placating.
  • You are strong yet gentle.
  • You are mysterious without being deceiving.
  • You are exciting without being reckless.
  • You are sexually exciting in the bedroom and a gentleman in the living room.

-David Shade.

I think this explains my point pretty damn good.

Work on creating a more exciting life and personality, work on your confidence, work on your skills… That’s a pretty good start.

Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.

Learn from the bad boys, but be careful not picking up their negative traits on the way. That’s the lesson from today guys.

This is a topic I will be writing more about in the future, so stay tuned. And please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments if you have any questions.

To your success with women,
Alex Kay

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Photo #1, #2 and #3 by Azzazello, dlemieux and julianrod.

65 thoughts on “Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close

  1. Esnaider

    im a teen,and after reading this….it made me become even more confident on what i do,because this is what i’ve been doing all the time!!!to be TRUE TO MYSELF,and be a balanced(good-cool)guy.

    thanks alex

  2. waffle e

    some of this is true. but nothing is completely true or completely false. for example, with this dating advice stuff, it seems it always leads to another site to sell even more unnecessary advice to innocent men, like one is taking advantage of his subordinate. anyways, all this is fine and dandy but doesnt last forever,

    i graduted from high school 15 yrs ago, and alot of the hot woman in high school who dated jerks, ended up marrying them. those same jerks who were very exciting, unpredictable during the early dating stages would later turn out fat or fatter than their high school days, got married, had kids. the married couple doesnt go out as much, drinks mostly at the bars each weekend, so even adventurous bad boys grow up just like the rest of us and get lazy, are too stressed out from work, and when coming home each day, just sit and watch tv.

    also there are 2 bad boys in high school and beyond:

    1. the bad boy who is confident, good looking or average or ugly, who gets the hot girls and always is with a hot woman.

    2. the bad boy who is insecure just like a nice guy, no confidence, never has a girlfriend, or only once in a while.

    so just because we see a guy out in public that looks badass doenst mean he is badass.

    also if you see a guy sitting at a table in a bar, leaned back with arms stretched back, you always have to wonder – is he doing that to stretch out in order to be comfortable or is he some dumb*ss who is trying to impress everyone in the bar?

  3. KenC

    I do agree with a lot that this article says about women. Let’s face it, the ones who want to get treated like shit will deserve to be with an a**hole 24×7. I was with one for a few months and i can honestly say i was never a pushover and not a jerk. I was a decent guy who marched to the beat of my own drum. I can’t stand guys that smother their girls. anyway, she was immature and wanted to be with her unemployed, insecure boyfiend. they were meant for each other. You need to find the girl with at least some self esteem that will appreciate the decent (not wuss) kind of guy.

    1. BigMo

      Exactly!!! Many women equate for the stupidest reasons that “good guys” are just “good” and boring. So girls what soooo boring about “good guys” that have their sh*t together aka college educated, career, has a life on weekends. No he doesn’t call you 27 times a day. Oh we see sooo what you girls are saying is your selfish ones because if were tooo available then ugh. Butttttt Mr. UNEMPLOYED D-Wad THAT HAS ZERO, ZIP NADA, NOTHING GOING FOR HIM AKA (POOOOORRRRRR insecure MAN= NO MONEY MAN), can’t ever afford to take you out, do anything fun etc oh because he is POOR. So what’s “poor” man doing when your “busy”. Ugh let’s think about that????? Oh he isn’t doing a da*n thing cause he’s poor can’t effin afford anything. Of course he’s unavailable cause he has no money for gas, or car etc. Hummmmmm???? Real winner huh girls?????!!!

      Oh but your now ragging on the guys that ACTUALLY has our sh*t together (career, educated), does fun things on weekends. But that’s boooorrrring right girls????? You girls would rather sit around with Mr. unemployed, no money guy that can’t ever do anything aka (can’t ever afford to go do anything fun). But you’re still complaining girls about us has our sh*t together guys that in our outside of work time we play golf, ski, hike, bike, hang with our friends, BBQ. Um yeah maybe some of us guys do hang out by ourselves sometimes but you wanna know why??? Our friends are MARRIED and with their WIVES. Oh then we also get PTO go on VACA.

      Oh also have fun with Mr. Unemployed, no good guy that will beat your a**, have you for 3 or 5 min and wham bam now get the he** out and never ever call him again or you will never ever ever hear from him. You were just a piece of a** nothing more!!! Oh then have fun letting the door hit you on your way out cause righhhhtttt you can open your own door.

  4. miike

    Women say just be yourself knowing full well that a man who does this Simply won’t do because then he is not being their ideal man. Women are all different why does a man have to conform to women’s narrow definition of masculinity. It truly is pathetic.

  5. Sahara

    Im a woman and in the short term, I just want a bad boy who excites me, but when it comes to a long term relationship I’m interested in the exciting good guys. Sometimes im not even sure why I like bad boys, I think its the confidence and the way they make your blood boil. To all the guys out there, confidence is key when getting women

  6. PAT

    The real reason the bad boy get the girl is because he,s good looking. Women will forgive anything if your handsome; thievery, drug addiction, spousal abuse and even murder. They talk all the time about how looks doesn’t matter but in reality it’s all that does. Their even worse than men. I know so called smart or intelligent women try to date a guy who has 6 different kids by different women and somehow she thinks this is someone she would want to marry or have kids with. To this mans credit they think very little of this women who doesn’t respect herself to realize that this man is worthless, irresponsible, a terrible dad and will leave her alone to raise her family.

  7. M

    I have to disagree with this. So many women have this vision that bad boys and nice guys are this black and white picture in that “bad boys” are just that and the “nice guys” certainly cant have any “bad boy” traits. That such bs. I consider myself a decent guy but yet have some of the bad boy traits such as I sure as hell don’t call women back all the time. I’m not available all the time and also I always do what I want when I want. Yes I’m nice but at the same time I don’t bend over backwards for you. But at the same time it absolutely pays to be a “good guy” with some bad because in the end the “good guy” will get her and thus is the reason why you always hear the “bad boys” with getting all kinds of women cause the relationships never ever lasts very long or doesn’t even get going past the bedroom. The “bad boys” are usually the one and done guys as in, go home with her, go to her bedroom and either that night yet or the next morning he is kicked out of her house and he is on to the next woman that day or night. There is no long term relationship with the so called “bad boys”. The so called “bad boys” are just that and never have the solid, long lasting relationship.

  8. Mike

    “I think this explains my point pretty damn good.”

    I agree. This article illustrates being perfectly in the middle of nice and bad boy. Because in reality neither of those extreme opposites are desirable in the long run. Both present a situation that women will want to escape eventually.

    So kudos, for drawing outside the stereotype and showing us that authenticity is key

  9. Pingback: The Top 10 JKTC Blog Posts of All Time – Just Keep The Change

  10. Sebby

    In my view, as a woman, the only REAL difference between a bad boy and a nice guy is the way they THINK about women. A bad guy doesn’t hide his desire for you. He shows it openly without apologies, and he’s going to follow that way of behaving in the bed room. Respect has no place in the bedroom (if you want good sex instead of a marriage) and that’s where baddies come in. To a truly submissive woman, they’re the only types of men, because she gets her kicks out of getting him off (I’m super hot) rather than being serviced like a Ford Mondeo by a guy who is quite able to hold himself back while touching you there and here according to a user’s manual. (Not hot.) It is because you can almost hear the bad boy think how hot you are, and how much they want to f*** you, but from a nice guy, the only thing you hear is apologies and pleas for permissions and further instructions. Not cool. (Dominant women like that, though, but super babes are submissive. ;) Just pick a team dom or sub? Once you know which team you play, don’t pretend to be a dom if you’re a sub!)

  11. mikeyman

    this is directed to most women these days.just admit you bitch and moan about everything you hate good broke guys who are unemployed and live with their parents and you love bad arsehole guys with money good jobs their own place and who are experts in saying 4 letter words.and then when the bad boy abuses you in every way you curse out mankind and cry about not being able to find a good guy.just admit theres no pleasing you.most women i said are like this today and i feel bad for the few decent single women left in this world who actually have hearts and treat people with respect unlike the rest of the many bad girls left in the world.a long time ago i met a girl at work whose personality clicked with mine beyond belief in a positive way but that wasnt enough to please her.the bad boys with money and all that was enough to please her.sickening.thats just a person who has issues.

    1. mikeyman

      thats right about a decade ago i worked for an airline in florida and met a girl who actually had issues so bad that she threw away a one in a million relationship at my expense.shes probably living a happy full life today with money from her ex bad boys and is totally oblivious to how bad i have to suffer the rest of my life.either that or she realizes her horrific error and would rather play with her cats and dildos forever instead of trying to find me somehow and apoligize.