A dating question from a reader:
Iestyn wants to win back his ex-girlfriend. She has been starting to get in touch with him again after 5 months, but he’s unsure about how to go about it.
“Hey Alex! I’ve just come across your fantastic blog; all your advice so far has been great! I was wondering if you’ve got any advice for a man who really wants his ex-girlfriend back. We broke up about 5 months ago now, and just recently she’s been getting in touch with me, and I’m not too sure how to handle it, as I don’t want to drive her away again, as I would do anything to have a second chance with her.” Thanks man – Iestyn.
Hey Iestyn, I think what you have here is a very common scenario. Man chases woman, woman flees and woman comes back. Put that on repeat, and I think we’ve got your problem covered.
You need to eliminate one link of the chain. You need to stop “chasing” her. Not meant physically, although it could be, I mean in the way you think about her.
You say that you would “do anything to have a second chance with her”. Why is that?
Don’t be desperate
If you don’t have any choices when it comes to women, it automatically makes you desperate. And I think that this is the real issue. If you had more choices, you wouldn’t worry about your ex-girlfriend from almost half a year ago.
Sure, you would think about her sometimes. Be glad for all the good things you had together. But you would also have moved on with your life, de-attaching yourself.
Ask her out
The way you should handle her getting back in touch should be just like if it was an old friend. Be laidback, you couldn’t care less what she thinks about you! Maybe talk about some good old times, and be genuinely interested in her life.
Set up a “date”, and say that you want to catch up with her. If she’s the one contacting you, I can’t see why she wouldn’t say yes to this.
When on the date, as I always preach, have fun. Lots of fun. Sitting in a restaurant talking about her new job is boring. Going to an amusement park while talking about why Britney Spears cut of all her hair is so much better. Or, well at least you’re not talking about her job.
Since your ex was originally attracted to you, there’s a good chance that you can re-attract her. Just remember what she liked about you when you were together. There’s a good chance that it was because you made her laugh and made her feel good.
Do that again!
The mentality
As I said before, be laidback and confident. You have a new life, and she can be a part of it again. But you don’t need her. Not at all!
If you have this mentality, I can almost guarantee you that she will be crawling back to you.
Few things are less attractive to women than men living their own lives, by their own premises. Keep this in mind.
Good luck Iestyn, and be sure to report back with your results!
Also, I highly encourage you to check out my book called “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution”. It includes everything you ever wanted to know about getting over your ex and moving on with your life. It takes you right from the break-up to your new relationship, and it answers all the questions I get all the time, like “what to do if she wants to be friends”, “how to avoid being distracted by thoughts about her”, “how to fall asleep when I miss her” etc… Read more about it here!
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The Ex-Girlfriend Solution
Based on my own experiences, and the experiences of all the men that I have been teaching over the years, “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution” is founded on solid advice that works for everybody. Designed to eliminate the hassle of a break-up, it cuts right to the chase and gives you the absolute best advice available.
So act now and click here!
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