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Do You Make This Crucial Mistake When Calling a Girl for the First Time?

Neutralizing your ex's power over you Neutralizing your ex's power over you

No. 2 in the series “What everybody ought to know about dating“.

Have you ever wondered at what point you should call a girl after getting her number? Call too soon and you will be seen as desperate and needy,
call too late and she will have lost interest, or forgot you.

I guess that your goal for this call will be to get a date with her, so of course your choice of words, voice, tone etc. will matter more than the timing,
but you know, the devil is in the details. You might as well maximize your chances.

Her level of interest is what determines if she says yes or no to meeting again, and let me tell you one thing: It never stands still. Kind of like stock prices,
her interest always INcreases, or DEcreases. And you want to call her when it’s highest.

So when IS IT highest?

As you might have figured out already, there is no definitive answer to this. As with most things here in life, it depends on the situation.
But not entirely, here’s 5 tips to get it right:

  • As a rule of thumb, never call on the same night as you’ve met her. By this time, you has not really “sunk” into her mind just yet.
    Give her a chance to think about you, it’s at this point your call will have the biggest impact, and is most likely to succeed.
  • Be polite when calling. Ask her if she has the time to chat. If she says yes sure, that’s great. If she says no: Don’t hang up! Just tell her that you will make it quick. This usually works, and it spares you a whole lot of trouble, instead of having to get a hold of her… again!
  • The answering machine is your friend. This is a fantastic opportunity to show of a lot of self-confidence. Just make it short, something like:
    “Hi, this is John from last night. You know, the sexy dark haired guy from the supermarket. I just wanted to say hi, and ask you if you would like to meet again. Get back as soon as possible, that would be great. Bye.”
    Just remember to introduce yourself, and make your point clear. And if you can incorporate humour, your message simple can’t fail.
  • Don’t wait too long. This kind of depends how you got her number, but don’t wait more than 3 days. She might have “lost hope” in you, she might have forgotten you or she may have met a new man. There’s thousands of possibilities.
  • Don’t call her in the middle of the night.
  • And for god’s sake, be sober!

Don’t talk for too long!

This is probably one of the best tips I can give you to maximize your chances for getting a date. Please don’t talk to her for more than a few minutes.

Actually the shorter the better. This is not the time to “getting to know her”. Just drop her the question, want to meet for coffee tomorrow? Or anything you come up with.

Though I am not saying that you shouldn’t say hi, ask her how she is, or just talk general things. Just remember the point of this call; you want to meet her again. Everything else comes second.

With this post, I hope that I have made you aware of some of the problems you might be facing, and / or having when calling a girl (for the first time).

To wrap it up: Don’t call on the same night, be polite, talk to her answering machine if she isn’t there, call at a reasonable time, don’t wait too long, don’t talk for too long and be sober.

Do you have a story about calling a girl, or do you always have the same troubles? Leave ’em in the comments.

Are you nervous about the whole ‘dating game’? Subscribe to our RSS Feed and we will work it out!

76 thoughts on “Do You Make This Crucial Mistake When Calling a Girl for the First Time?

  1. Mike

    I met a beautiful girl today in starbucks parking lot. I was in my gym clothes and she was dress pretty for work. She is a make up artist. I didnt shave either. We smiled at each other talked and I asked her to go to dinner soemtime and she gave me her number. Even dressed like I was. When should I call?

    Reply
  2. Alex Kay

    Hey Mike! Don’t worry too much about how you looked, it doesn’t really matter. Combining what you have learnt here with my 5 Perfect places to Take Your Date article should give you a pretty good foundation about your situation. My advice would be to call her not “tonight”, but the next night. That meaning if you met her wednesday, you should call her at thursday night. Good luck, and keep us updated!

    Reply
  3. James

    My friend set me up on a small date yesterday with a girl I have seen around but never approached.. We exchanged numbers after the date was over… When should I call her do you think?

    Reply
  4. Alex

    Hey James,

    make a quick call tonight, just saying hi, etc. Don’t make it too long. Say you have to go do something and hang up after about 2 minutes.

    Tomorrow you can call her and make plans for a night in the week coming up.

    But hey, it’s your “call”, it also depends a lot on how well you clicked, your personality, and a lot of other stuff.

    Good luck man! :)

    Reply
  5. James

    Thanks Alex!

    I did call right before I was going for a run so that kept the conversation short. (thanks to your advice)

    We made plans to go to a international social and we had a blast!

    One of my friends told me she just broke up with her boyfriend of 6 months and she’s pretty heartbroken… she mentioned she had a bad day the other week but didn’t delve into it… should I back off so I’m not like a rebound guy? This is a delicate situation I think I’m not sure..

    Reply
  6. Alex

    That’s great James, glad it “worked”! :)

    To your question:
    It’s a hard situation. Have you kissed yet?

    I would say that you have to avoid becoming the friend which shoulder she cries on… It’s much better (for both of you, actually) if you become her lover.

    Or maybe it would be allright for you to be her friend?

    Just remember: It’s very hard to go from friend to lover, but being the lover, you also become her friend.

    Good luck whatever you choose mate.

    Reply
  7. PIMP

    HEY HOMMIE.. DON’T LISTEN TO THIS WHITEBOY RIGHT HERE.. U JUST GOTTA CALL HER UP.. TELL HER TO COME IN UR ROOM.. TELL HER TO DRINK BEER WITH YOU AND THEN GIVE HER SEX.

    Reply
  8. jimmy

    Hey man,

    Yesterday a girl gave me her number …. Infront of my manager at work. I remember talking wid her few days ago.
    Well my question is , when sud I text her ( I really dont want to call ) ?
    and what sud the text be like? I am pretty young and new in this matter. Can u help me find some words to text her.
    thanks man

    Reply
  9. Anthony

    Jimmy,

    Just believe you have the courage to talk to her, instead of texting. Women like confidence, so show it! (texting is not the perfect way to show confidence, believe me) Just take a couple deep slow breaths before you call and I’m sure you’ll come up with something. As most others have said, keep it short and ask her out for a cup of coffee or something.

    Reply
  10. john

    Hey man,

    I’ve been out of the dating scene for awhile, but I am hardly less experienced; I’d say much more (at understanding women [which I know that not understanding women is the key to understanding them, as ironic as it sounds]).

    So I’m in Math class at my university, and I’m taking this class for a prerequisite, but I’m 23, but most people there are freshmen.

    So it’s the third week and I see this girl who is gorgeous (don’t worry, I only thing “you are gorgeous” in my head) so I sit next to her. I have no fear of women; I am lucky to have good genes and looks, so I have free pick. It’s just finding the girl who is both good-looking, and also a great personality (rare). [Okay I really mean gorgeous and not slutty].

    So turns out she’s 17 (HAHA don’t panic, her birthday is in several months, plus, she’s in college and I’m not just there looking to get in her pants), so to me, noting her body language which tells me she is also very shy, and she was sitting alone (should I worry about this I suddenly wonder… but she is indeed gorgeous, maybe it’s just because she’s shy)– all this tells me she probably has not been around the block several or many times. Or it means she has been hurt real bad and is a nutcase, but I hope not.

    Back on track, I met her last class several days ago, and she had no issue with me sitting next to her just the same today. The body language (taking into account her shyness) is definitely on, and I played all the nonverbal unspoken games right on, and we have an optional review session tomorrow, before the exam Friday.

    So right as class ended, I had been giving her [false] negative body language, as the game goes, and then asked her if she had email, catching her in the height of her insecurity, right on track. She responded very well, said “sure” very nicely, and gave me her phone number and name as well.

    She is 17, so being a kid (I’m still kind of a kid…), she’s more into the modern texting scene, and in a way meaning she was trying not to come across too strong (because she took the initiative to give me the number), she said for me to text her.

    Now my question: should I call her, text her, or, email her, and considering the variables and circumstances, should I do which one tonight, tomorrow morning, or before we meet (in the evening), and why?

    It’s one of those iff-y things, and I kind of don’t care yet at this point whether it works out or not, because I have plenty of options here with 60,000+ students and maybe half female, and maybe 5,000-10,000 just as good looking and single too.

    On the other hand, if it does work out, which I really don’t want a relationship, but I do, you know how it is… I want to do everything right.

    Thanks

    Reply
  11. john

    oh yeah I should add that she remembered some detail about me today that I forget what, but I was like “good memory”, so I know she was thinking about me yesterday and after last class.

    Reply
  12. Alex

    Hey John,

    It all sounds great! I would do as she suggested; to text her. Being older, and her being insecure, don’t run too much “game”. I mean, don’t bust on her balls too much, being too cocky etc. That might backfire.

    Just play it nice, see how it goes. But it sounds like you have a good chance with this one. Let me know what happens!

    Alex

    Reply
  13. john

    Okay, well turns out, that same day I coincidentally saw her in the afternoon and briefly said I’d be there, just like I should. However, when we got to study session and I sat next to her I almost immediately realized I didn’t like her. The first thing she was doing when I came in was laughing at some political website on her laptop, making fun of [the political party that I identify with].

    Although I didn’t say anything, I quickly began to see how different she was; not the reserved girl I had been talking to the days before. What a misjudge of character; it didn’t take her long to come out. So I ended up turning her down, and never called or texted, and didn’t sit next to her this morning. Oh and in the study session review for the exam that night I pretty much ignored her body language that was directed at me because I was no longer interested. I could see she was testing the waters, and playing me, but I don’t get played or tested. I can get attention from any other girl, I don’t need to waste my time and energy on a girl with different interests that wants to test me. That is all unspoken of course. Heck there was a girl sitting directly behind me, in front of me, and to the left of me, who there are chemistry between and I am attracted to. That’s not mentioning any of my other classes or the rest of my life.

    This should be a lesson for you girls out there that think it is okay to be open about politics or religion, particularly at first. Oh, and if a guy who is one of the good-looking guys starts giving you attention, whatever you do, don’t test him! I can tell you that I as one of them just move right along. No need to waste my time.

    Reply
  14. Alex

    Hey again John,

    I’m glad you “reported back”. Sounds like everything fixed itself…

    Good luck finding a better girl!
    Alex

    Reply
  15. kevin

    Some days I feel I could talk to beyonce if saw her in the street, and some days I feel like I couldn’t talk to 2 years old at a birthday party.Is there something wrong with me?

    Reply
  16. Alex

    Kevin,

    it’s absolutely normal. No worries!

    Just try to have more of those Beyoncé days ;-)
    (one way is to notice what triggers it. Maybe you start your day of better, maybe you talk a lot in your phone, or maybe it’s just plain luck. Only you can know!)

    Best regards,
    Alex

    Reply
  17. Pete

    i met this gorgeous girl at the bar the other night, waited til monday to call her and i left a message which was fine by me. now it’s the waiting game. i’m not sure whats going to happen next as far as, if i should call her in another couple of days without sounding too desperate, or should i just keep waiting til whenever?

    Reply
  18. aaron

    i met a girl in kinda of a strange way, i met her at a bar, that alone isn’t strange, but unfortunately didn’t get her number that night. I went the extra mile and sent her apt complex a letter saying hey give her my number if you would. She called a few days later saying she was impressed it got her and just wanted to see how things were going with me. I called her back later that night and then said i would follow up the next day. But have yet to here back, its now going to be tuesday. Any advice, or should i just leave it alone and wait to heae from her?

    Reply
  19. Alex

    Pete, don’t get hung up on her! Who wants a girl who doesn’t want you? It’s unhealthy in the long term. Call her in a couple of days, and if she isn’t interested, don’t obsess about it. Move on.

    Aaron, wait a day and then call her. As with Pete, don’t obsess about her. Girls are strange animals; they’re impossible to predict!

    And ain’t it beautiful :-)

    Best of luck to both of you.

    Alex

    Reply
  20. Pete

    i’m not hung up on her, although i am writing wondering what to do next. so yesterday was monday and i called, left a message and then this morning “tuesday” i received a text message from her just saying “hey” i sent one back saying “hey whats up” and nothing back, so i’m just gonna keep playing the waiting game, her move. but i’ll still take your advice… when i call in a couple of days that will be the deadline. i appreciate your response Alex

    Reply
  21. kevin

    i was eating out today and a beautiful girl come up and started chatting with me after about 15 mins she asked me out and gave me her number and said call any time we both work night shift but i dont know when is a good time to call her or even what to say

    Reply
  22. Alex

    That’s cool, Pete. Good luck!

    Kevin, call her at a time you show she’s awake. Just do some small banter for a minute and feel the vibe. If it’s positive, ask her out in some way. It’s up to you.

    Her coming up and talking to you, even giving her your number is a pretty good “she’s interested in you” factor.

    Don’t screw it up ;-)

    Reply
  23. kevin

    yea i called her today before she went to work she asked me to go to a costume party with her on halloween ..she also made me conversate with her for an hour thx for the advice …

    Reply
  24. kevin

    EWW GIRL TURNED OUT TO BE A DRUGGIE PARTIER TYPE HAD TO TELL HER I WASNT IN TO THAT … WE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON MAYBE THE NEXT ONE WILL BE A LIL MORE INTERESTING.. HAPPY HALOWEEN ALL

    Reply
  25. Eddie

    heyy so i met this girl about a month ago at this party, and we kind of clicked. then the other day we were talking again and i got her house number, but the thing is i’ve known her dad for a while now, and it’s kind of awkward to call his house and ask for her. Plus it doesn’t help that he isn’t too fond of me. What should i do?

    Reply
  26. Mike

    I just met a girl in a bar, classic right? But, let’s see… how to put this… I’m completely and utterly inexperienced. I’m 22 and never even been kissed (holy shit!). Not like I’m frikken Quasi Modo over here, rather I’m a decent looking guy, I’m just extremely introverted so the whole dating scene passed me up. But now I’ve got this chick’s number — help me out bro!

    Reply
  27. Alex

    Hey Mike,

    no sweat… First thing is to relax. May sounds harsh, but don’t get all caught up on this girl. Read some of my other articles and download the ebook reviewed here: http://www.justkeepthechange.com/double-your-dating-ebook-review-learn-how-to-be-successful-with-women

    It will help you with the correct mindset.

    Just call her up casually and tell her you would like to meet for a cup of coffee.

    But as I said, give yourself some work and time to become more familiar with the dating scene, it might be scary at first. But there’s no better way to learn than to fail, so don’t be afraid of giving it your all.

    Best of luck, and let me know how it goes!

    Reply
  28. twon

    hey whats up Alex. i was at a club last weekend and met this beautiful girl. when i talked to her. she seem cool and very interested in me. so i got her number. i waited two days and texted her and asked if i could meet up. but she text me back and tells me she dont go on dates, she always get hurt… so i ask her how can i see u than? she texts back idk…..
    is she playing hard to get? or should i have called. wht should i do?

    Reply
  29. willies

    i met this school in my college one morning( last december) when we were both prepapring for an exam. We had a nice chat and she disclosed how her last relationship fell on dead rocks so she’s decided to stay single. However as the conversation progressed she admitted she is still open and that we can both hangout.
    I called her the next day, she didnt pick it up, so i left a message. Two days after, i sent a message(quite humorous) and she then replied. That was the last time i heard from her. she didnt reply my next two calls and messages so i had to forget about her untill we met again yesterday(march 6). Surprisingly, she denied ever getting any message or call from me. She asked; “u sure u have the right number?” I crosschecked and that was trully not the number she was using. Meanwhile i remember vividly test-calling her number when she gave it out. she insisted never changing her number—she sounded honest and interested(desperate) in talking to me. She gave me the number again and asked me to call her.
    Again, i have tried calling today, around 12pm, but couldnt reach her.I didnt leave a message because the name on the voice mail is different from the name she told me though the voice sound like her’s. Is’t wrong i didnt leave a message? what do you deduce from these scenarios? what should i do next?

    Reply
  30. Anshul

    There was one girl who lives near my colony and in these times her board exams running and I watch her daily when she used to go school and I really like her and really wanna be her friend I shy to tell her on road shy and I have fear of her rejection so thats why I went to my friend who lives in her colony and telled him whole story about it and he helps to approaching near her to getting her number from her best friend. Her friend told her(She whom i like) that there was a guy(me) who wants talk to you, then she said any buddy who wants comes to me, In this way I approach to her but I notice she is with some of her friends after taking the exam, so I cancelled the plan of direct approach and I got her cell number with the help her friend and I requested to her friend to convey her to talk with him and after may be pushing by her friend she is accepted to give her number and recieving my call. And in this way I called her by telling “Hi, My name is Anshul and I wanted to do friendship with you” She replied “Sorry, I can’t do friendship with you and don’t call me again on this number.” I just simply replied “It’s okay, Thanks for pick up my call and Best of luck for the remaining exam” after this call disconnected. So now what to should do now when its all happen??? I really don’t wanna loose her, I really like her. Please help me and mail me back.

    Reply
  31. Zinum

    Hey there. So I met this really cute girl after one of my classes. She seemed like a nice girl so I facebooked her later on. Then we briefly talked online and I asked if she’d like to go study with me during the week. She say’d she’d like to. Then before class that week, she gave me her number and said she was pretty much good to call any day. What I wanna know is, when is the best time to call. I know NEVER to call the same night, but I just wanna know when is the best time so I come off as not desperate, but not lazy ya know.

    Reply
  32. Alex

    Zinum, call her up when you feel like it. A day after, the same day, two days, it’s all good. Just make sure your energy is high and you’re in a good mood.

    Let me know how it goes.

    Reply
  33. Ayy

    I think everything you say has relevance and importance but usually when I get a womans number, I’ll sometimes forget until weeks, sometimes even months & theres times when I’ve called them that same night when I’m with them which actually works real well. Pretty much I agree with Alex, the post above me.

    Reply
  34. Andrew

    wanted some advice on this: i went up to girl i noticed while i was going into another club. she was actually in the club next door sitting in the patio with 2 other girlfriends. i noticed her playing with her hair, so i just went up and introduced myself. i also guessed correctly in that she had just gotten a haircut a few days ago and made a comment about maybe how nobody else had noticed her new look. needless to say she was digging the conversation and i had her laughing and smiling in no time. i asked her to come with me to the club i was going into but she felt bad that she would be leaving her friends behind and i wasn’t going to pay $20 a pop. so i got her number and promised to call her sometime, if not hopefully see her in about 45 mins. (the clubs were closing). she said i hope so too :). long story short….i missed her on the way out and didn’t get to see her that night. my question is: i met her sunday morning at 1am. just before the clubs were closing. when should i call? what should i say? and should i ask for a date on that first call?

    if you have anything else to add or maybe something i could say please feel free.

    thanks…

    Reply
  35. anthony

    i really want to send a comment to you regarding this girl that i met yesterday @ a cafe and got her number. i think that she will be a very interesting person and i really want to get to know her properly. but that yesterday she sent a mail to her guy right in front of me asking him why he has not call her to know how she was faring and that she.s missing him so much. my worry now is that i really want to know if she can give me the opportunity to get to know her and i want to ask you on how to let her know that i will really love to have her as a mate.

    Reply
  36. Alek

    Ok so I never have asked for advice before like this, but I thought it would be nice to get some input and a different point of view other than the way i interpret things.

    So I was in a long 3 year relationship recently but broke up 3 months ago and am trying to get out there and meet new women. I’m in my mid-twenties. Anyhow I met a couple gorgeous women the other day on thursday. The first one I met was at the university I go to, I had seen her randomly that morning around campus like 5 times, couldnt help but notice how attractive she was and told myself “If I see her one more time im getting her number”

    Anyhow after one of my classes I headed to the internet computer lab to chill, saw her sitting at one of the computers with headfones on so I scribbled a quick note saying “Hey just wanted to say that you are crazy gorgeous and i’d love to get to know ya, call me sometime” and left my number. Moving on later that evening I went to the mall before heading home, around 8 pm, and met a very, very attractive girl working in one of the clothing department stores.

    So I walk up to her with different cologne samples and ask her “So obviously you’re attractive, but if YOU were a single girl looking for a guy which one would you like best?” And we flirted a bit, I was just testing the waters, I asked her name said “Thank you” and put the cologne samples back. I looked around the store some more and then went back up to her smiling and said “You know I got another crazy question for ya, and if I don’t ask im gonna hate myself forever. So, i’d really like to take you out to lunch sometime.” She looked a little surprised but giggled, so I said “Well you dont gotta say yes, I mean I’ll be fine I might go home a cry a little but it’s all good” In a sarcastic flirtatious way, so she says “Well what do you want me to say?” I told her “I’d love for you to say yes, so whaddya say?” So she gave me her number, I left, and that was that.

    I did get a text message from the girl I met in college, she seemed kinda awkward in her text though, I asked to call her since I have limited texting but she said she was at work so we left it at that. Moving forward to today: So I waited 2 days to try to contact them both, however the girl I met at the mall had her cell fone shut off, I didnt really feel like leaving a voicemail so instead I left a breezy text message, I did the same with the other girl too.

    Based on what has happened should I expect to hear back from either of them? It’s been a long time since i’ve been in the dating scene *About 4 yrs now* but I was anything beyond awkward with these women, i’m really good with flirting and/or talking to women, plus i’m attractive, but i’m really not sure if i’ll hear back from either of them.

    If I don’t hear back from either girl should I attempt to call them in a couple of days? The only thing that has got me nervous is that these women are about a 9, I mean smoking hot; thats why I approached them, I knew I had nothing to lose but i’d still like to know if I should expect a call.

    I did meet another very attractive girl at another mall today, in a clothing store, but instead of asking her number I just made small flirtatious talk and then asked if they were having a sale, she said this thursday, so I asked if she’d be working that day she said yes so I said “Ok, see ya there kiddo” and left.

    Anyhow any advice with the other women? I feel like I did everything perfect, so I would think they would be interested and get back at me but maybe the texting was a bad idea, cant be sure.

    Reply
  37. Billy

    This past Saturday I went out to a bar in my neighborhood and met this girl. It was the strangest thing but the minute I saw her enter the bar I just knew I had to talk to her. I don’t know what it is but there was just something about her. I’ve never experienced this feeling in my life before. So finally I made it my business to talk to her, conversation was great, we had a lot in common, I got her # and told her I would call her. I called her about 3 days later on Tuesday night and left her a voicemail message just like you described above. It’s now Thursday and I haven’t recieved a call back yet. I know it’s only a little over a day and I shouldn’t stress out but for some reason I am. I just can’t get her out of my mind and I must see her again. What should my game plan be from this point on? Should I try calling again in a few days?

    Reply
  38. paxton

    i jus got a females no. from one of ma friend .. i msgd her and she did the same. i msg asking hows ur day n stuff n she repliesw .. told her some stuff bout me ,, but when it comes to her she doesn reveal anythin …
    like name wat she does etc etc.. she says i dont trust strangers tht soon enough.. v haven seen each other jus msg … ben 4 days nw .. pls help wat next should i do .. ?> how should i get to know her n make her reveal things bout her so i can get close to her …

    Reply
  39. paxton

    i jus got a females no. from one of ma friend .. i msgd her and she did the same. i msg asking hows ur day n stuff n she repliesw .. told her some stuff bout me ,, but when it comes to her she doesn reveal anythin …
    like name wat she does etc etc.. she says i dont trust strangers tht soon enough.. v haven seen each other jus msg … ben 4 days nw .. pls help wat next should i do .. ?> how should i get to know her n make her reveal things bout her so i can get close to her … please help

    Reply
  40. Sean

    I need a suggestion, I met a girl at the bar on saturday, it’s tuesday now. I was fairly drunk not to sure if she was, now I’m fairly short 5’5″ and so is she. She is a model though, I did get her number, but I’m not sure if it was because we where both drunk or what. Any suggestions should I call or just forget about it, picking up in bars I usually don’t do just at the time it seemed like we had good chemistry.

    Reply
  41. Tony

    Hey Alex:

    First off, thanks a lot for giving your time to try and help us needy men out there in confusion over women. Of course, I say “try” not intending on lessening your credibility; but insinuate that all women have different mentalities and situations so it’s impossible to help every guy out who’s confused.
    But nonetheless, I’m impressed with your confidence in your beliefs and hope you can help me out.
    Here is my situation:
    I’m 19, tall & in shape, really good looking (not to sound cocky; just trying to give more detail), very funny, pretty insecure inside but extremely confident in others perception… esp. at bars with booze in me ha.

    Anyways; I was at a bar downtown last night with some friends, had a nice buzz but wasn’t wasted when I went to the bar to get another drink and started talking to this girl. So we ended up talking for a long time but cant say exactly because we really clicked. I was making her laugh a lot. She was telling me a lot about herself, and I told her some things too. Anyways, she told me she was a senior in college. She never asked me my age, but I told her I went/was going to some college but came back to live at home (close to the city) so I could wrk at the hospital. I did ask her opinion on whether I should go back to the school or stay in the city. But, in other words, she thinks I’m anywhere from 22/23 and up.

    So after we talk for a while, I tell her that I’ll be right back so I can ask my friends the plan for the rest of the night. Its around 12. So after about 10 min, I come back and the guy who was with her roommate (who was giving her friend a smile/thumbs up kinda look a whole time we’re talking and laughing). He tell me their in the bathroom together, then says that I should totally keep talking to her and stuff cause she was interested in me and stuff. So, I say yeah shes really cool and her friend is too. He says, yeah.. I had to pick the older one of the two. I say huh, then he tells me that shes really only 19 and a freshman in college. I’m like really?? But he thinks Im older too (prob around his age 24).

    So I walk back to my friends and talk to them for a bit and they say their leaving, so I go over to her and tell her were going to this area. She tells me shell probably be around there later too, so I’m like ok cool… lemme get your number so we can maybe meet up.
    She gives it to me no question. We leave, and I text her about 10 min later to give her my number but I say “hey this is… Anthony (inside joke) blah blah. what’s up?”
    And she hasn’t texted me back since.

    So, my thinking is that although she was into me a lot.. she had already lied about her basic situation and stuff so…and that she thought I was probably pretty older.. so she just thought there was no point.
    But I’m still really confused cause I know she was into me.
    So, my questions are simply: What happened? and What should I do now?
    I was planning on calling her soon and just coming clean with my age, but saying how great it was talking to her, and we should hang out again soon.
    Hows that? and.. Should I bring up how I know her real age kinda humorously, but happy/relieved kinda way.
    Should I tease her about not texting me back?
    And would it be okay to invite her to a friend of mine and my older brothers (22) birthday hang out at some bar tonight, or is that too soon?
    So, pretty much, should I call or text, when, and what do you think I should say?

    Sorry for writing so much tho. I just hope I can figure this thing out.
    And any other things I could learn from you would be awesome as well.

    Thanks again Alex,

    Tony

    Reply
  42. RANI

    DEAR ALEX…

    I WAS JUST WONDERING , IS IT A BAD IDEA OR A SIGN OF WEAKNESS TO CALL BACK A GIRL AND ASK HER OUT AFTER WE HAVE LOST TOUCH FOR A WHILE… DOES IT SEEM LIKE IM DESPERATE AND I HAVE NONE AVALABLE AT THE MOMENT ??

    Reply
  43. Roy

    Hey! So do i have a tricky situation for you! My boss at work (i am a lawyer, which makes this even more tricky) has been really keen to set me up with a daughter of one of his clients (i too know the client well).

    I have never met the daughter, god i have never even spoken to her, but the client (or the father) is also keen for me to meet his daughter. As luck would have it, she is extremely attractive. Now to cut a complex story short, the girl has given my boss her number, which has been passed onto me. This happened one day ago.

    Now I am going to call her, and invite her out for a coffee, but i am predicting this to be a very awkward conversation. Any suggestions on how best to approach it?

    Reply
  44. Fitch

    Hey alex i think your advise is great and i have an interesting scenario for you…
    There is this girl who i am friendly with and since i met i always liked her. finally after a while i worked up the nerve to ask her out. she said yes (confirming, obviously, that she likes me as well). since i had her number before we ever even went out – wat is the protocol concerning talking/texting? also – my friends keep telling me i made a mistake (and im starting to think i did too) bec i took her out the first time on a sunday night and i asked her for a second date a few days later for that wednesday night. my friends are saying i rushed too quickly and i should slow it down. when would be appropriate to ask for a 3rd date?

    Reply
  45. Amin

    Hi Alex,i met up with two girls at my job (restaurant) yesterday,served them. Actually, i’m the shy type, they both look a bit shy too and both seem interested . one of them approached me first at the counter in a nice way and even mentioned my name(name tag). She was looking too good. afterwards they sat down. the one that i liked sat facing me. i winked at her like three different times, and all the times she smiled back. our eyes caught like seven times. they finished their meal. but i gave her a sign to wait for me. they waited for another fifteen minutes. but i had so many customers to serve. i gave her another sign to give me her number. she wrote something on a piece of paper and folded it. when i opened it, it was a number with a heart on it.what do u think this means? when should i call her? and what should i say to her? cuz i’m not really much into dating. hope to hear from u soon

    Reply
  46. Yorgo xoinis

    I hang out with this girl from time to times as friends. Lately I’ve been getting the vibe she likes me… I sent her a txt to meet today but hasn’t answered yet…. It’s been about 3,5 hours should I call???

    Reply
  47. Dorky

    Hi Alex,

    Well let’s see here i met a girl at a club on a Friday night. Talked on a Monday and talked for bout 15mins. this is a Monday and told her if she wanted to come to my show on Friday and I put her on the guest list. So she agreed to it. Before I hung up on her I told her we should grab a bite before friday or the show so she said cool. So I called her 2 days later after my 1st phone call but she didn’t pick up. I left a message. She called an hour later and it look like it rang for bout 2 rings and hung up. So I waited an hour so i didn ‘t look needy and gave her a ring. She didn’t pick up again and I left a message yesterday. She hasn’t called me back. Do you think I should of just waited till friday and messed up my chances with her and looked to needy? this is killing me. please help thanks

    Reply