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A Bulletproof Technique for Meeting More Women, Writing Job Applications and Getting Things Done

A bulletproof technique for beating procrastination A bulletproof technique for beating procrastination

If you ever feel that you are stuck here in life, be it in a relationship, a job or in a simple chore like doing the dishes, this article is for you.

I will outline a very simple strategy to take action, one that cannot fail. Do this one thing and you will never be completely stuck.

One thing at a time

Sometimes we set our own expectations too high; I know I did when I started out “getting better with women”. It’s a couple of years ago now, but I still remember it like it was yesterday.

I would go out and say stuff to myself like “I must approach at least 5 girls tonight”. Today, that wouldn’t be such a big problem, but back then it was a lot. 5 girls! I thought the key to progression was to push myself, and to push hard!

But did it work? Not at all. It only ended up hurting me.

Usually when I pushed myself hard, I would not meet my “goals”. Maybe I only approached 3 girls, maybe only 1 and maybe none at all.

I would get kind of angry at myself for not being “good enough”, and a lot of negative momentum started building.

This is bad. Negative momentum is like a disease, it poisons everything you do!

So even though I think you should all have your own experiences and learn from them, I can at least tell you what I would have done back then if I knew what I know now.

I would not push myself “hard”. Sure, a little pushing is sometimes required to take action, but too much pushing just leads to falling of the cliff instead of jumping it yourself.

Instead of saying to myself, “approach 5 women tonight”, I would say: go talk to a stranger. This is not such a daunting task at all.

And then I would go talk to another stranger. I would most likely have had two pleasant conversations, and this is what positive momentum is all about.

At the end of the night I would have talked to a lot more than just 5 people, and in that sense, by not pushing too hard, I got farer and reached my goals with a smile on my face.

This is also what meeting women should be all about – to have fun! I have said it before and I will say it again: if you can’t have fun while learning this stuff, you will never be really satisfied or happy with it.

But on the other hand, if you enjoy the process and have fun, gold and diamonds will rain upon you… Or something like that :-)

So the key to this is actually to break down the whole process into manageable parts.

If you need to clean your room, it’s much easier to do so if you start by throwing out what needs to be thrown out. Then you can organize. And then you just keep on going – using the positive momentum!

If you need to write an article or a paper on something, start writing anything. Just write some random paragraphs. That’s actually the way I wrote this article.

horse sit

Do something. Anything!

This principle applies to everything. If you don’t know what to do next, do something, and that means anything.

If you can’t force yourself to get out of the door and meet women, pick up a book, call a friend or do some push-ups. Don’t feel bad about not doing the thing that you feel you must be doing but aren’t – you will do it, but just not at this moment.

You need to be ready for the moment when it comes, though. Sometimes it’s easy to just say that “you’ll do it some other time”; that’s called procrastination, and that is not what I am encouraging here!

No, I encourage you to be a realist. Know your limitations and live by them. There’s no point in feeling bad about something you aren’t doing anything about. In that case, it’s better to do something else.

I know that this sounds a little theoretical, and it is. So let me make it clearer.

Here’s an example to simplify my point:

Ben should really get around to applying for a job he really wants. But something makes him not; he can’t put his words on why.

He mentally beats himself up over it, thinking why he is so stupid – how hard can it be?

Then he reads this article and gets it. His “action level” is too low, and he actually needs to just do anything.

So Ben does 5 push-ups. He drinks a glass of water. He reads a few pages in a book. He takes a walk (one of my personal favourites!) and gets around to reading some of his unread email.

Suddenly, applying for that job is not so bad at all. After a “power hour” of a lot of action, he just does it.

Needless to say, Ben gets the job.

There’s nothing like a story with a happy ending!…

So why don’t you follow in Ben’s footsteps and…

street dance

Do what needs to be done!

Following is a list of things you can do to gain positive momentum.

Generally, I would say that watching TV and surfing the internet gives you negative momentum, and on top of that they are huge energy drainers. Even though you handle the remote or steer the mouse, watching TV and surfing are too passive activities to go as real action.

Do this stuff instead:

  • Go for a walk. In my experience the best thing to do in almost every situation.
  • Read a book. A few pages will suffice, but don’t stop for the sake of it! Reading in general is very stimulating to your brain, and in my opinion we should all read more.
  • Listen to music. Really concentrating on a single task is what this is all about. Focus on the music and let it “be one” with you.
  • Get up and drink a glass of water. Almost always a good idea.
  • Tidy your desk. I’ll bet my old hat that it’s a little clutterly. And if not, I’m sure that there is something else that need a good, old fashioned cleaning.
  • Cook from scratch. You know the saying: the more you cook, the better you look.
  • Do anything you have been putting off. Just get off your lazy butt.

Sometimes your outer circumstances need to change for your inner circumstances to change, too. That’s the gist of this article.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Do you have any experiences with doing something that leads to doing something else? I am very interested in hearing what you have to say.

It was a pleasure,
–Alex.

PS. Don’t forget to subscribe to the RSS feed! And, uhm, pssssht… it’s free! :-)

Wonderful photos by Eduardo Amorim and Puja.

8 thoughts on “A Bulletproof Technique for Meeting More Women, Writing Job Applications and Getting Things Done

  1. Justin

    Almost everything we do is a habit. Procrastinating is just a habit. Not talking to that girl is just a habit. By what say “do anything”, that means you are trying to make “action” a habit. Once you have the habit of taking action, sooner or later you’ll think to yourself “why the hell am I doing pushups?” and you’ll begin doing what you need to do. Basically what you are saying here is to trick your brain in to the habit of action.
    Hey everyone, I’ll bet alex gets anxiety or nervousness if he does NOT talk to the hot girl. Why? Because his brain wants to follow his habit. Think about this: it takes a habit to break a habit.

    Reply
  2. Alex

    Justin, I really agree with you here!

    It takes a habit to break a habit… nice :-)

    Tricking the brain into the habit of action is a good way of putting it.

    Thanks man!

    Reply
  3. William Zanelli

    Heyyy AK, greattt article, as always..!

    This is an area that I’ve struggled with a lot in the past and still on some days have issues with. I agree with #Justin – great point!!

    My own take on this is, procatination is down to fear.. why the hell dont you want to make that dreaded sales call, or ask some girl out..? Because in your mind, in its current state, your comfortable with the issue. However, you make that sales call or ask that girl out, the outcome may not be as rosy as you expected it to be, hence due to this fear, you fail to take action.

    My plan,
    #Break task down to manageable blocks
    #Do bit by bit, set time constarints and endevour to meet them
    #Forget fear, just do it!

    Keep up the good work!

    PS: I think what I;ve said is pretty common knowledge, its just people have heard it soo much, they’ve a)not tried it, and b) almost become immune to it, its that common.

    Am I making sense or is this just some wierd thing just in my mind?

    Right I better stop this rant! ;p

    Reply
  4. Alex

    What’s up Will my man!

    Procrastination coming from fear, I can definately feel you on that one. I really like your plan, and especially your #3, just do it!

    In my opinion, the best way to get things done ;-)

    Thanks for stopping by William, it’s always a pleasure. And yes, you are making crystal-clear sense!

    Take care.
    Alex

    Reply
  5. Phil

    I definitely have procrastination and laziness problems. This article makes a lot of sense. I noticed I get a few things done once I just get myself to just start doing random things. I just need to make myself keep the momentum instead of losing it.

    Reply
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