so do i,

i remember what master kifu from kungfu panda said,

there’s no good news or bad news, there’s only news …

:D

I have been reading your articles since I have moved into America. They are very inspiring and wonderful article. I am only 22, but have worked and studied in many different countries, such as china, japan, and United States. People say travel can broaden your horizon, but the more place that I go, the less self-esteem I am. Every decision I make in different countries just seem wrong or weird in some countries, which I thought I did right. And I start to loose my self. I don’t know what to believe any more and I can’t trust myself or my decision anymore. I understand these kind of question’s answer can only seek by myself. Could you give me some advise please on how to gain confidence? Thank you.

If you don’t mind, Alex, I will paraphrase your notes the way I see things, when considering this topic.

First of all, I never classify human behavior using Biblical taxonomy of “good” and “evil”. Although, using this conventional method gets you fast beyond racking your brains about philosophy of “being”, alas, this method is also biased and gets you sometimes to be blinded to what you really are.
For me, we are animals. In light of theory of evolution, we can describe ourselves as adaptive or maladaptive individuals. What we do, whether helps or inhibits us becoming better individuals of the species, and thus the surrounding social pack will whether cheer for us or deplore us.

Then we get to the chaos theory. To me, things are random, but our wonderful brains find yet again another way to see logical clusters in recurrent events: you went for a walk, ’cause you had a head ache after your neighbor tried to fix that picture frame on the wall using his hammer for the last two hours; you get outside and at the coffee shop meet a girl, you smile, she smiles; a year down the road, you’re getting married. Surely you would think that it’s a matter of consciously appreciated hard work to get things done, but what makes the randomness so cool that every single everyday interaction between with your girlfriend, that every smile, every party, cuddle in bed, or getting alone with the parents is what made all that into one (in our minds) logical cluster called a relationship. Not even mentioning your neighbor whom you should be thanking for being so persistent and not giving up with that darn picture frame.

Combining theories together, we may get to the point, where things can get a bit tricky or heavy, however, the philosophy remains simple, just the way Alex said it. You do what you do in this world of randomness and try to adapt. When you really screw up (like breaking up with someone, getting yourself fired and so on), you not only tend to characterize your failure as an effect that will go on influencing your life for some time now, you also tend to rationalize the probable alternative, these “what ifs…?”. But you know what, that “what if” is random. How can you be sure that being with that very girl you broke up would have been the better for you in a long run, or how can you be sure that keeping your old job would have led you to a better career you could have otherwise?

On closing remarks, I guess everyone can understand that life is not easy, but not many can appreciated the randomness of life and simplicity of our actions. Hating yourself for being “bad” and trying to make sense of “logical clusters of our live events” is just being too human, keeping the pace of randomness and trying to adapt to every opportunity you’re presented is maybe all you need.

I think your quote sums it up nicely man: “Always strive for your best and be as strong as possible.”

Just do your best and let it go. Cool stuff,

y.