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Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close

Why do bad boys get the good girls? Why do bad boys get the good girls?

A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.

So what exactly defines a bad boy?

In its most simple definition, a bad boy is someone who works outside the norms of society. He doesn’t follow rules, he f**king makes them himself!

It’s really all about the mindset; the attitude. He just doesn’t give a damn.

A bad boy is also incredibly unpredictable. One moment he might be your best friend; the next you’re outside getting your ass kicked. For no reason at all.

His looks witness his personality; adventurous, unpredictable, raw. Exactly what he wears doesn’t matter – it’s the way he wears it that counts.

Typical bad boy traits:

  • He always put himself first.
  • Does what he wants, whenever he wants.
  • He’s extremely arrogant.
  • Abuse the people around him.
  • He’s really dominant
  • Create a lot of drama.
  • Has high masculinity.
  • Has very high sexual confidence, and he knows how to please a woman.
  • He’s dangerous, and you never really know where you have him.
  • Lead an exciting life.
  • Gets a lot of girls.

And it’s that last trait that’s interesting. Bad boys generally get lots of girls. And even though they treat them like sh*t, they keep coming back… Because the sex is so exciting. And not only the sex:

Everything about the bad boy is exciting. Being with one is like riding a giant roller coaster for a woman; there are incredible emotional highs, and there are incredible emotional lows.

sexy urban man

Wussies and nice guys

Wussies on the other hand, are almost the exact opposite. In “pick up glossary”, a wussy can also be called an “AFC” – an Average Frustrated Chump. You could also call him a needy guy, or a nice guy, whatever works for you.

Nice guys generally don’t get girls. And when most nice guys do get laid, they often refer to it as “getting lucky”.

Typical nice guy traits:

  • He’s available all the time.
  • dresses “nice”.
  • Only talks about “death topics” (family, politics, economy etc.)
  • Calls 27 times a day, and leaves “cute messages” in her voicemail.
  • Compliments her all day long (mostly on her looks)
  • His body language is “stiff” (center of gravity in the middle, arms hanging pointlessly at the sides)
  • Never takes risks.
  • He’s dependable, and she always knows exactly where she haves him.
  • Always shows up 10 minutes early.
  • Lives a boring, predictable life.
  • Doesn’t get a lot of girls. Few to none actually.
  • And when he does, she usually ends it with the “let’s just be friends” phrase.

Said in simpler words, a wussy is boring as hell.

And who wants boring? I know for sure that I don’t. My life is too short for boring.

What women really want

A lot of girls feel the same. They want entertainment, someone to have fun with, someone to excite them. They want drama, someone to make them feel!

Most guys don’t make women feel anything else than plain boredom.

If she feels like she’s in complete control over the situation, if there’s no element of excitement, no surprises and if you’re so predictable, she actually knows what you’re going to do before you do it, you become boring. Booooring I tell you.
Don’t let that happen!

So now we have the definitions of both a bad boy and a wussy (or a nice guy).

My guess is that, since you’re reading this, you’re interested in having more success with women.

You know from your own life that lots of the bad guys often get the good girls. Now you have more of an idea why that is.

But you don’t want to turn into an abusive jerk just to get good with women, right? That probably wouldn’t work anyway.

So we have to find a better solution…

What about taking all the good stuff from the bad boys, and ditching all the negative?

Wouldn’t that create the perfect man? I certainly think so.

Because there usually are a lot of negative things to say about the typical bad boy.

He’s usually very paranoid. He is over-protective, controlling, jealous, and basically wants to keep her for himself. These are very negative traits, since trust and respect are the building stones for every successful relationship.

He’s mentally unstable. He’s inconsiderable, selfish and abusive. And once again, the list could go on and on.

Then what IS so sexy about the bad boy?

Most women become addicted. Addicted to the drama, addicted to the amazing sex, addicted to his masculinity and confidence.

For high self-esteem women, one day she can’t take it anymore. She decides to leave, the drama has become too much.

For low self-esteem women on the other hand, they often stick to him like flies stick to flypaper. A lot of women end up getting married to bad boys.

gangster

Enough about the bad boys…

Let’s focus on making you better.

The first step is to realize your “bad” nice guy traits, and why they just don’t cut it.

For this to happen, you have to gain some knowledge on female psychology. (There should be a lot of info on this site… Also check out the book review of “double your dating”, where David spends a great deal of time talking about just that.)

The next step is to eliminate your bad traits. This is easier said than done. If you have been a wussy all your life, knocking him out of you easily can take some time, and it needs a lot of self-realization.

At the third step it’s time to pick up some new traits.

The balance between bad boy and nice guy looks something like this:

  • You are dominant without being domineering.
  • You are masculine without being macho.
  • You are forthright and trustworthy.
  • You are considerate without being placating.
  • You are strong yet gentle.
  • You are mysterious without being deceiving.
  • You are exciting without being reckless.
  • You are sexually exciting in the bedroom and a gentleman in the living room.

-David Shade.

I think this explains my point pretty damn good.

Work on creating a more exciting life and personality, work on your confidence, work on your skills… That’s a pretty good start.

Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.

Learn from the bad boys, but be careful not picking up their negative traits on the way. That’s the lesson from today guys.

This is a topic I will be writing more about in the future, so stay tuned. And please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments if you have any questions.

To your success with women,
Alex Kay

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Photo #1, #2 and #3 by Azzazello, dlemieux and julianrod.

65 thoughts on “Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close

  1. Jason

    Great post, you really wrapped it up nicely at the end there. I think I can see what you’re saying in alot of ways. I went through the wuss/nice guy phase for a while there when I liked a girl too much once, and the other confident guy who was in many way what you described… he ended up getting her even though I put in way more effort (hence the problem). I hated that guy, and learned an important lesson. Well said.

    Reply
  2. Alex

    Well thanks Jason ;)

    Yeah. Guess it turned out for the best anyway then.

    I also have quite a few of those stories… Funny to think about how clueless I was at the time!

    Reply
  3. Jay

    Another great read Alex.

    I believe that girls feel secure. I the bad boy has money then I think they see it as a bonus and makes them feel even more secure and stable. Many of the bad boys I have come across in my time have been pretty horrible to some REALY nice girls.
    It upset me and I feel I have alot more to offer in terms of just being nice, kind and maybe show them some love, but that doesnt make them feel secure.

    Reply
  4. Alex

    Jay, just want to be sure: Do you think that bad boys are attractive because they make girls feel secure? That sounds counter-intuitive to me. Please elaborate :)

    Reply
  5. KM

    All the my bad boy friends and neighbors are now either in prison or got HIV and in bed or working low level jobs to meet ends.
    Being a bad boy may got a lot of girls, but it may cause your whole life sinking down the drain in long run.
    Oh, wait… most of the bad boys die in their mid 20 any way so they don’t need to worry about life.
    And, you are not bad boy if you worry about your future. :-P

    Reply
  6. Alex

    Raymond, always glad to teach a thing or two. Thanks for your kind words my friend :)

    KM, haha! Yeah…

    But this article is not about being a bad boy per se, it’s more about taking the positive and attractive traits that many bad boys do have.

    Reply
  7. Robert A. Henru

    Hi Alex…
    u pointed my weakness straight to the point :( be a good guy not a nice guy. That’s what I need to learn! Thanks for the tips!

    Btw, when you talk about being mysterious. Is it the same as being cool?

    Robert

    Reply
  8. Alex

    Robert,

    be a good guy, not a nice guy… That’s quite true. It’s great to be gentle and polite, but it’s just important not to become boring.

    To answer your question: Being mysterious is one of the things you could say it takes to be “cool”.

    But cool is pretty hard to define.

    Cool just means cold, and cold people are often pretty mysterious, because they are so “cool” that they do not let anybody “in”.

    Being mysterious is pretty attractive if done the right way. Being mysterious is to not reveal everything about yourself (at least not right away).

    Hope this helps.

    Rock hard! :)

    Reply
  9. Carlo Magistro

    Hi im 18, and for the most part I honestly want to get done what I need to get done rather than worry about women. Just a waste of time on my part, and my penis usually keeps me happy. Be yourself and try to be more focused on whats going to happen in your future rather than being paranoid all the time about women. Money can get you anything you want, and if you have an education, your better off being someone rather than being a nobody. I look at it this way. You walk around like a dumbass you will be a looked at as a dumbass. And any girl is dumb enough to be with you, you’re dumb enough to be with her. Know what I mean?

    Reply
  10. Alex

    Taking on the principles of this article, the main point is to actually not worry about women.

    But I don’t think it’s a waste of time.

    And sure, money can buy you things, but it can not make you happy. Happiness comes from within.

    And of course, walking around like a dumbass is a dumb idea. I know what you mean Carlo, but I don’t understand why you’re saying it in reply to this article.

    Alex

    Reply
  11. Jay

    Alex – The bad boys where I live drive nice cars and have allot of money. They often seem like tough guys who can handle themselves. The girls they have are very pretty, (I know looks are not everything) but that what bad boys generally go for.
    So with the money and a tough, bad ass guy I feel that maybe the reason why the girls feel very secure.
    This is just my opinion, hope I have elaborated enough and not repeated myself :P

    Jay

    Reply
  12. Alex

    Jay, I see what you mean now. Thanks for elaborating! :)

    Zack, appreciate the words man. I see myself as a moderate, too. Balance is usually the best choice.

    Reply
  13. Debt Free or Bust - Sherri

    We women may love to catch and date bad boys. But women with self-esteem will dump a bad boy for a good guy 8 days of the week when it comes time for relationships and marriage.

    We find drama fun in small doses, but in everyday life, we want predictable. Predictable means security because we know what to expect and that we can count on the good man we married. We also want that good man to know he can count on us.

    We want a good father for our kids and a good man wants a good mother for his kids.

    Bad boys may seem like the thing to chase, but the good guy, just like you describe him (and how to become him) is a good woman’s key to life-long happiness.

    Great article, Alex!

    Sherri

    Reply
  14. Alex

    Just as I thought, Sherri. I love it when I am right ;)

    Funny how the women mind works…

    Thanks for your insightful words, comments from women are always highly appreciated.

    Reply
  15. JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You.

    When I met that balanced guy – I straight married him. I miss him very much and I’ll tell you what

    I thought that he was such a find because it feels like either *most* guys are on the super nice guy thing (I have nothing against nice guys though.. I’ve dated them) and the polar opposite bad*ss thing.

    Of course a bad*ss can be unreasonably attractive but I do keep my distance because getting crushed isn’t my idea of a great time in life. I found it pleasantly interesting to read that you thought women with self esteem manage to do this.. its so true. When I was younger.. more unsure (or whenever I have a short stint of being insecure) approval from the bad boy would feel like my whole world.
    *shudders*
    the drama IS too much for lil ole me

    That balance is so.. great to me. And with the right guy? Well its JEMi heaven! If I ever find it again I’m jumping on that boat and am not getting off.

    Reply
  16. Jay

    JEMi –

    You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

    Like you… when I find the right girl
    I wont be jumping off the boat.

    Reply
  17. Alex

    I see JEMi… Must have been hard.

    Yeah, a lot of guys are kind of extreme. It’s that balance that’s the real find.

    Always glad to have some of my “theories” approved by a woman. Thank you!

    I hope that you’ll soon find a guy that’ll take you to JEMi heaven! ;)

    Jay,

    Just remember that from every experience there is something to be learned. And when you learn, you do not fail. You move on!

    Take care both of you :)

    Reply
  18. Pingback: Why Gifts and Flowers don’t work for Creating Attraction - Only for Amplifying it » Just Keep The Change

  19. SabbIR

    Really learn somethings here and realized that female phsychology is essential.

    I am just trying to get those good thing from bad guys and finally I can thanks to Alex

    Wish for me!

    (edited a few spelling mistakes – Alex)

    Reply
  20. Chanel

    I am *so* glad I somehow stumbled upon your blog, Alex. You’re spot on here – exactly what I’ve been telling my guy friends for years.

    Somewhere the between the bad boy and the nice guy is the ideal guy – balance is key, just like it is with everything else in life. :)

    I love the way you ended this entry, btw!

    Reply
  21. Alex

    SabbIR, I wish for you man :)

    Chanel, you mean the list?

    Thanks for the words, always glad to know I am right ;)

    You sound like an intelligent woman!

    Reply
  22. Alexandra

    Crap. all crap. want to be successful at dating?

    -dress like you live in the present and look in the mirror before you leave and can say, “i look cool.”
    -have a life of your own/don’t make me the center of your universe. at least not until we’ve been together for a good long time.

    Reply
  23. Alex

    Alexandra, all good advice…

    But that doesn’t help men actually meet you. Sure, you might say “he just have to go up and talk to me”… But I think we both know that’s not entirely true.

    There are a lot of factors playing in when meeting and dating women.

    “Looking cool” and living a life of your own definitely helps, though.

    Alex

    Reply
  24. Brianne

    I thought your artilce was very accurate and funny. The balanced guuys is a rare find n is the best. i want a guy who can make ne laugh, be spontanious and outgoing and reciprocate feelings but i dont want to be smothered. He should be strong annd dependable, but also have his own life and his own friends. I hate it when guys call multiple times a day everyday to check up on me, and arriving early when they know i usually need that extra time and because they are there it makes me feel flustered and that i have to rush to be ready. Compliments are good in some aspects but they cant all be about how great i look, and everyone had flaws so its nice to have someone point it out now and again- though be causious about the delivery- and sometimes it helps to get rid of the flaw because people dont even realise they have that- like if they are doing something wrong or just plain harsh/mean it might not be intended/ they might not be aware of it.
    It is nice when a guys is protective and jealous it makes us feel wanted but again theirs a fine line between protective -(you would make some type of sacrifice or let other men know that i’m your girl)- and over-protective – (you dont want to be abusive or a stalker.)
    The guy who is balanced is the most attractive and desirable because he is a real MAN – which says something about his maturity level as well- and the a lot of the unbalanced guys are just boys who think they are men.

    so yea im writing this at work so it might be a little hard to follow bcuz im multitasking but Alex you have pretty much hit the nail on the head and i command you for that. My friends n i talk about this stuff all the time n we say “why dont guys get it. i just wish they knew how we feel.” n you figured it out n its great that u share ur knowledge with others.
    o btw women dont get men sometimes either mayb u should explain why menare attracted to certain women- (this is the only srticle of urs ive read so if u did that already then mayb you could tell me where to find it)

    ur a great writer btw love the sign-off….especially
    – “Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.”

    Bri

    Reply
  25. casualty

    You know I have learned the lesson of my life and I only wish I had read this before.
    I was engaged to this girl. She was the woman of my life. She said she was tired of all the bad boys. The kind of guys she always went out with. Real jerks. Abusive, neglecting, drunks… I stepped up and told her she’d never have to worry about that kind of stuff with me. I quit weed, kept my boose to not even a case a month, stopped going to bars… I did everything for her and her daughter. I cooked, I cleaned, I did the laundry, yardwork, breakfast in bed, flowers on a regular basis, taking care of the little one…. even bought a house. I’m telling you everything. I loved her so much and I lived to make them happy. One day out of nowhere, 3 weeks after we were talking about having another child and while planning our wedding….. she rips my heart out and eats it medium well. “I’m sorry, I’m just not into it anymore.”
    If I only had lived to make myself happy instead of her, make her work for the things she wanted me to do I probably wouldn’t be losing my woman, my step-daughter and my house.
    The next one will have to jump through many hoops for me to do all of those things for her. I’m not saying I’ll be a total jackass but I’m not gonna be just a really nice guy.
    Sherri was saying that women want a good guy to marry, here you have the proof that even then its not true. You still need to create drama for them to remain interested. I think they crave it. Its true that nice guys finish last. One thing’s for sure, it aint gonna happen ever again.

    Reply
  26. Kim

    This was a great article! Very helpful to me. I dated a “bad boy” for about a year, and unfortunately didn’t realize what he was until months into the relationship. Like you said, women somehow become addicted to the traits and stay in it. But I will say, I had enough self worth to end it. But of course, not without a little heartbreak. Hardest thing for me to deal with now is the reality that he never really cared for me. I truly believed he did.
    I put my heart into it. I would much rather have a nice guy, someone who’s genuine and trustworthy. Thank you for writing this.

    Reply
  27. migs

    i’m a guy and i’m straight but i totally disagree with some characteristics mentioned. like,

    Typical bad boy traits:

    * He’s extremely arrogant.
    * Abuse the people around him.
    * He’s really dominant
    * Create a lot of drama.
    * Gets a lot of girls.

    is this what i call “narcissism” or “the chauvinistic ego”?

    i don’t speak for women because i’m not a gal but i can sense there is something wrong with this article. in my opinion, a typical bad boy is someone who is

    *just confident of himself
    *doesn’t give a shit on other people
    *streets smart and adventurous
    *rebellious (with a good reason)
    *proud (with a good reason)
    *fearless, brave, have a strong personality
    *a good guy deep inside

    honestly, a bad guy can be attractive and worthwhile at first but the so-called “wussies” maintains a relationship on a long run.

    Reply
  28. migs

    pardon…i forgot to read the later parts of the post…yeah what i really want to emphasize is the balanced guy. sorry for misjudging your article

    Reply
  29. Alex

    Migs,

    No problem man. You say all the right stuff in the first comment, you just didn’t read the article through.

    When you did, you see that we talked about the same thing.

    Love!
    Alex

    Reply
  30. Johannes

    This is exactly what every man should know when comes to women. I figured this out 6 months ago and by now I have completely changed myself, now I am kind of legendary…

    So I thought I give you the tools I used to change myself:

    David Deida: The way of the Superior Man
    Adam Khoo: Master your mind, design your destiny!
    Tony Robbins: Ultimate edge

    The way of the Superior Man is the best book I have found on men and women. Contains a lot of great stuff.

    Master your mind is an awesome book, initiating you to nlp and personal mastery and a lot more (personal mastery: changing your conditioning, puting yourself into empowering emotions…)

    Tony Robbins’s stuff is really the ultimate edge in finances, relationships, emotions everything.

    I hope I gave you some help guys.

    Keep it up!

    Reply
  31. Natasha

    Ok,I have been the typical pretty girl that fell for all the bad boys. I am now 31 and a single mom. It wasnt the “bad boy”image i fell for but maybe the challenge that came with the physical attraction. As for great sex,lol..I woouldnt go that far to say just cuz a guy is a bad boy means he is any better in bed then any other dude. Trust me.Some girls prefer guys that are preppy and clean cut,and some like the ones that arent. I prefer the latter. The guy that walks into a bar just from work{maybe working outside},that hasnt shaved in a few days,and he is the one im drawn to,cuz he isnt trying. I have to agree with who said it above,the bad ones either ended up with hiv or a bad job,a few i knew are either in prison,dead,or have lasting effects cuz of their negative choices.Always be yourself,maybe thats what it is about a bad boy,they seem original..

    Reply
  32. Natasha

    As for “casualty”up there..just cuz one woman changed her mind doesnt mean its anything U did wrong,u followed your heart,she obviously wasnt mature enough to be with a real man.

    Reply
  33. phil

    When someone is mean or nasty in relationships it hurts more.. people blame themself.Im inbetween nice and bad and i guess i just dont care enough about relationships and women enough for them to want me.I kinda ignore them i prefer to be with the guys as women do honestly bore me.Alot of these bad guys are not bad guys women just think they are because they have a tattoo and drive a car fast lol.I think women have changed though alot of guys with jobs and money can really get any woman they want.ITs more about wealth in this day and age than ..just a simple so called bad boy..

    Reply
  34. natasha

    Oh Phil,women a bore? lol..maybe some are..or u just havent met any fun ones!”Its more about wealth”whats that about? Im just happy with a decent guy that has a job,treats me good,and has a sense of humour and patience. There is a small number of women that have to have a bad boy type,and like I said when a female matures that isnt what she will want anymore.

    Reply
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  36. Anton

    Hi Alex,

    I’ll be honest, i’m only 20 years old, so I’ll have to be brief about whatever experience i’ve had with the subject of dating.
    I went through an insecure phase in high school like most guys, and now I have a habit of possessing all of the good qualities you’ve mentioned, but every once in a while, I lose confidence, i let myself become too vulnerable with the ladies i’ve been in relationships with. That’s when things start to go bad.
    So I guess the question is, how can i let myself be vulnerable around the women i love without eventually seeming too dependent?
    And yes, i tend to be moody and “unpredictable”, which makes handling me, difficult, i know. I feel like i can make, my ex for example, completely fall head over heals for me one moment, and make her angry the next… How do i avoid this problem?

    Reply
  37. Mikey

    ALEX!! YOU LEGEND! A mate of mine has been trying to tell me all this, and you’ve finally put it in simple, easy ENGLISH rather than double dutch!! I’ll report back in due course (maybe a couple months) and let you know how I’m getting on. Bless you man. (Btw, I’m 18, so I’m not ‘worried’ just looking for the easier to understand tips).

    Reply
  38. Alex

    Anton, join the forum! You’ll fit right in.

    And Mikey, thanks man. Looking forward to hearing from you!

    Reply
  39. Victor

    Hi guys, this is an interesting article. I have been labeled a bad boy most of my life but in good way because, i was not abusing anyone. Just living my life and just having fun. Bad Boys are manly men who are not afraid to go for what they want. A Jerk is an ass hole and it could someone with a degree and great job. A nice guy is a wussy and boring. It does not matter what level of education, skin colour, car driving or whatever. Its all within you.
    So what women want is a man and that is where bad boys get to win….i know a lot of married bad boys and its all about balance like Alex put it. Too much of anything is not working. My Uncle is one of them. He is a bad ass and that is to say he is well rounded, confident and does not crap from anyone. So thanks Alex for reminding me…

    Reply
  40. Akshay

    a woman’s life usually runs around security and fun..They don’t tell you to be Powerful that much that you forget to enjoy the other aspects of life..be energetic and do a lot of exciting things..don’t be just a nerd of anything…do things with the face expressions that no one else can do..have a power to change the ambiance where ever you go and don’t just be a silent brat who just smiles…even if you smile,there should be a “you” in that who doesn’t really give a damn about any thing but at the same time is always busy in what he is up to and someone who can make a girl happy even when all the topics of the world is dead…If you know less topic then better and if you know more topics then be soo fast with them that you completely absorb the entire situation by yourself..but don’t be a fight type…remember fights don’t make you a man..because you are a man because woman there in this world who are different than you and they don’t want you to fight to prove them this by fights.otherwise you would become a cigarette for women..which burns,throws smoke but no satisfaction…many women are living that way because anyway the life runs..also don’t get too busy with your friends..these things may make you busy but by the time you will reach in front of the girl you will find that you are already bored of talking and there would be no excitement left in you to spark up the relationship..be completely excited with your work…become the sharpest at it..bring the confidence through it and the inside spark in your eyes and then go to the girls…you will get what you want.because world is a mirror,the way you see it,the way it looks back at you ;) ..but if you want too much power through your friends also and want to get the links for businesses and way of life then sorry…that way you would be drinking and be happy in your boy group and girls in their girl group… and this is what exactly is happening today..but try what i have told…It works…it make you the ‘Vampire’ and you would be one shining head over all from a girl point of view

    Reply
  41. Gary Fletcher

    I am so tired of hearing about this stereotypical b.s. I am a nice guy and funny as hell. Because society swallows the b.s. that is propogated,many lose out to stupid presumptions and follow the advice of the crowd. Those so called bad boys are part of the crowd and don’t have an original thought in their heads.If they did they would not follow the crowd.Actually the people that spout this crap do so just to fit in and must be considered to be mediocre for that reason.I have hollywood good looks and am nice as well. What about Tom Cruise; he’s a nice guy and is handsome, so don’t judge a man according to the shallow opinions of the huddled masses

    Reply
  42. James

    Im straight but even I see the attraction to bad boys.
    I’d probably even consider making love with a dirty rough bad boy. Something very sexy about it.

    Reply
  43. John

    Yeah and when they get pregnant by the bad boy don’t expect his “confident” ass to pay child support! Bitches who are dumb enough to date dudes who treat them like shit just move to Iran with the other girls who let there men treat them like shit! Let’s just face it American girls are fucking dumb! They read cosmo, listen to ke$ha and Britney spears and then act like wanna be whores all while living upper class lives. Fuck that shit! Be a nice guy if that is who you are. There is always some girl in a 3rd world country who knows what it’s like to struggle and will appreciate a nice guy!

    Reply
  44. William

    The problem with women is that they don’t see men potentials, they look at what the men are doing wrong and thats why women make bad choices out of men.You look at bruce lee, he was a nice guy,but bruce lee knew how to fight and bruce balance it out, the same as michael jordan and the other greats.

    Reply
  45. Mike

    I could say a lot here since I have researched this topic what seems like a million times, however, I’ll try to keep it brief. One poster here makes it seem like you have to be handsome to get women. I say that’s bs. You don’t even have to be very handsome to get super hot women but you do have to know how to act and behave in a way that creates attraction. That’s the bottom line. Don’t be boring and don’t be her friend and for god’s sake don’t try to be her therapist either. Be interesting, confident, irreverent, don’t show too much interest(especially at first), be funny in a playful yet cocky way, bust on her a bit, let her know you like her personality and not just her looks, etc. Obviously there’s more but I don’t get paid to write this so….Lol.

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  46. tei

    ur description about bad boys is more sounds like “scum” for me, lol….rather than a bad boy……for example :

    – He always put himself first.
    – Abuse the people around him.
    – He’s extremely arrogant.
    – Create a lot of drama.

    and if that what determine a bad boy, and im surely never turned on by bad boys lol

    the criteria of balance bad boy and nice guy by david shade is described what MAN is for me….., someone who is mature, who know what he wants, confidence both sexualy and mentally, without being ignorant, and having a vision about partnership, friendship and love….

    and any kind of guys could grow as this kind of MAN, coz this is not about gen or personality…..but about learning to be a better MAN being. ( sorry for my broken english )

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  47. Anon.

    I happen to be a female reading this article and some of the comments (got bored a quarter of the way down). I think Alex summed it up well. If the girls are anything like me, they loathe the disrespect, but love the thrill. There’s just something chilling about bad boys which makes us women swoon. It is that sly smirk (or surliness), the self confidence, and the mystery. But that appeal only goes so far. Intelligence, respect, and gentleness are equally as sexy as the aforementioned traits. If you can be self confident, mysterious (at first), and a little sly and dangerous, but also have brains, be respectful, and be tender, you will have a much better chance at getting the girl. And yes, I have met a fair few guys with ALL of these traits, so it’s not an impossible ask either.
    My ex boyfriend is a shy guy, which I find totally sexy, because he’s passive and withdrawn a lot of the time, ergo, mysterious. But he opens up to me (we’re still good friends), and we converse easily, which is just as much a turn on as the mysterious side of him. So, sometimes shy guys can be very, very sexy – but only if you can also be easy to talk to.

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