What To Reply If A Woman Asks You If You Love Her
Today I am going to give Michael some advice on a little “love declaration” issue.
“I’m in this 4-week relationship, and not everything was going smooth. We were eating out, and during chit-chat, she then suddenly asked me: “well do you love me?” We never actually declared our love before, so I was a bit stunned. What is the appropriate response, if you are not totally head over heels yet?”
Well, this is a tough one. As I don’t know your past – how you met, how you behave together, if you have had sex etc. it’s hard to give a concise answer to your problem Michael. But I am going to give it a try.
What do you want?
With your response, you would want to do two things.
First, you would want to not look like a wussy. Example answer: “Yes, I love you so much; I can’t stop thinking about you”. I can almost guarantee you that she would run away screaming.
But you don’t want to come across as exceptionally cocky, and maybe even evil, either. Example answer: “No, why the hell on earth would you think that?” That would just be rude, and equally bad.
So, I guess we have gotten rid of both the answers yes and no. We need something more subtle.
You said that things weren’t going too smooth, and the “Well do you love me” also implies that she is having some doubt about the two of you. At least that’s how it sounds to me. Or maybe she just wants to know if the two of you have a future together.
Two different answers
Again, without knowing you, it’s hard to give a precise “line” to what you should say. But I think that the following would be a pretty good example.
The good boy:
“I don’t really know. I think that our relationship is too new to say that I love you, but I do like hanging out with you, and would just like to see where things are heading”.
This is not a horrible answer. Not at all, but it hands a lot of power into her hands.
If she doesn’t like you, well, you’re probably going to get hurt. But on the other hand, she might reply with something like “I would like to see where things are headed too”, and then you’re good to go!
By the way she asked, this answer might be what she was looking for. It kind of sounds like she needed some validation that you were (or are) more than friends, and that you are ready to “take it to the next level”.
You could also do a “bad boy” approach.
Say “no” in a very serious tone, with a very serious facial expression backing it up. Then lean over, and kiss her. This may chock her a little, and this is where you pull back, look deeply into her eyes, and say “I hate you”. Still with a very serious tone. She may laugh. She may blush. She may command a “real” answer. She might get mad. But then it’s up to you…
You really need some “cojones” to pull this off, but if you can, I’ll guarantee that things will be going a lot smoother. If done correctly, it will almost knock her off her chair. At least I know that no guy have ever done this to her before.
But maybe most important of all, you need to discover if you really do love her. Because if you don’t, well, problem solved.
Image by nattu