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What To Do and What To Avoid When That Right Woman Comes By

When she comes around, you'd better know what to do! When she comes around, you'd better know what to do!

Once in a while, you meet someone who has got that little bit of extra. It’s pretty hard to define, she just has it. She is amazing and beautiful. She makes you smile.

She can turn up everywhere, anytime. At a party where you see her dancing and laughing with her friends like a silly little girl. On the streets where she drops something and looks all helpless. At a supermarket or in a shop where she just looks like she has it all together, rocking a super-sharp business suit and high-heels.

You do not see one of these women every day, noooo sir. At least that would surprise me. If you do, leave me a comment and tell me where you live, I’ll get there pronto!

And when you get to know her, she is still super cool. Even cooler, actually. Usually, she is special in some way. Rockin’ the guitar, painting like Picasso, an amazing dancer, Counter-Strike geek or just sweet as honey. Besides being beautiful, these girls usually have something else to them. Sometimes you can define it, sometimes you can’t. But you know you like it.

The mistake I see over and over again

I want to talk about what to do when you meet one of these women. Most likely, you do not fall for her the first time you see her. I do believe in ’love at first sight’, it is not impossible, but for the most part you will not start really liking a girl after at least a few times talking to her and/or being around her.

The mistake I see over and over again is that men fail to take action when one of these women swing into their lives. No, scratch that. I see two mistakes. First one is lack of taking action. The second one is almost as critical: putting her on a pedestal. Now this might sound counter-intuitive, after praising these women to the sky and beyond, but let me elaborate.

Super girl

Don’t put her out of your reach!

All people are equal in value. That is our starting point. A beautiful woman is not worth more than an ugly one. We as individuals place those adjectives on them, it is not something they are, it is something we think they are. You may like beautiful women more than ugly women, and that is perfectly good, healthy and natural. After all, it is you who think that she is beautiful. Someone might just as well think that the girl you think is ugly is the most beautiful woman in the world. (I am aware of the fact that some women by the definition of the masses are more attractive than others, but let us look past that for just a moment.)

She’s only human

So what I want you to avoid when you meet one of these amazing women is to put her on a pedestal. You can raise her above others in the sense that she does something for you, but not more than that. No matter how divine-looking and  how much she smells of flowers and heaven, she is still just a human being. She is a woman with some of the same problems as everybody else.

Most likely, this woman knows she is good. People have most likely told her that she is beautiful all her life. What she wants is not another ass-licker.

She wants a man who also does something for her. She wants an equal. If her self-esteem is at the right place, she knows what she can get and how she can get it. I bet that you want her to want you.

summer girl

So why doesn’t she want you?

Here comes a real shocker: how do you know? How do you know, really, that she does not want you?

Let me tell you this. The women we are talking about here are not like many other women. They do not settle for less than they know they are worth. Sometimes, you can mistake this trait for arrogance, and sometimes it is, but admit it: you kind of dig that about her. You like that she does not make out with half the club and that she is a challenge. You like that she most likely does not have sex on the first date. She takes a little bit of work, and she is all worth it.

And she doesn’t do these things to get an ego boost by keeping guys waiting. She is all above that. She does them to test you. That’s right. Test you to see if you are man enough for her and know what you really want.

Most of the guys in her life most likely haven’t had a clue what they have been doing when they were with her.


You are different. What you do when you meet this girl is that you are totally authentic. You know what you are and what you want. You are honest. That alone will set you apart from most other guys. You are upfront with your intentions.

beautiful eyes

What I want you to do

So what I want you to do when this woman comes by is to muster the courage to walk up to her and say hi. No tricks, no gimmicks. Let it flow, make her laugh, smile and look her in the eye. Relax, have fun.

You do not have to be nervous when talking to her, because you know that she is just like every other girl. And to top that, some guy, somewhere, is most likely tired of fucking her. Think about that for a minute.

What you shouldn’t do

What you shouldn’t do is to raise her above everybody else. And especially before getting to know her.

These women can make your life everything you’ve ever wanted. But they can also make it hell. The women you like the best are most likely the women who can fuck you up the most as well. Tread carefully if you are afraid of getting hurt.

I personally think that you should not be. Open yourself and accept whatever comes your way. Learn from your experiences. But it’s up to you. Just know what you are doing!

bored girl


Usually, I do not like the advice from most PUA’s (pick-up artists), but I heard of an ’opener’ (way to start a conversation with a girl) worth mentioning. She has to sit by herself and look bored, or at least looks like she is not having any fun. Anyway, what you do is walk up to her. Do not look at her directly. Instead, look around her like you’ve lost something (think a pair of keys). Look all around her, underneath her, beside her, behind her. After you have looked around her, her curiosity will be sparked. Look her directly in the eyes, and say something along the lines of ”I am looking for a smile, can you help me find it?”

If you have got luck on your side and you do it right, she should smile right back at you. Even if you don’t take it any further than that, you will still have made a girl smile, and that by itself is pretty amazing. And continuing with some light banter and fun conversation should not be too hard, either. I think it’s a fun ’opener’ and I will definitely try it out when I get the chance. Unlike most other PUA material, this one is cute and authentic. It’s a way to open up a girl who would not otherwise have been interested in talking to you (if she were down in some kind of way and not willing to start a conversation with a stranger). She may also just look at you like you are some kind of weirdo, but hey, that’s a chance you have got to be willing to take. You win some, you lose some.

I’ll be sure to let you how it goes when I get to try it out.

Take care!

Images by Vincent Boiteau, Mark Sebastian, Alex Dram, San Diego Shooter and Daily Misery.

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11 thoughts on “What To Do and What To Avoid When That Right Woman Comes By

  1. Sebastyne

    Agree with everything apart from “I’m looking for a smile”. Unless the guy looking for a smile is incredibly hot, what you get back is the smile you get when someone really pities you. All lines are bad, okay. ALL of them. Do not rehearse for these things, it’s fake and annoying. Only men who can make them work are the ones who don’t read these blogs but write them. ;) Why not just park yourself somewhere close by and wait for her to look at you. It will happen sooner or later. And when it happens, smile at her. If you get a little smile back, you’re within a chance. If not, she’s really grumpy, and she is more aware of her own worth than any other time. NOT a good time for approach.

    Having said that, the rest of it goes for the amazing guys as well. You can turn from this woman descried here to the other kind in a split second when the male equivalent of the above appears. You don’t meet many of them either.

  2. Alex

    Hey Sebastyne, thanks for stopping by!

    I get what you are saying, but I must defend this little ‘line’ or what you call it anyway. This without having tried it out, though. I think it can be very charming if executed right, but only time will tell… :-)


  3. Alex

    These girls get hit on so much, so don’t come across as another one of “those” guys. Be different and spontaneous. That will put you above the rest of the guys. I actually think its easier to get a beautiful girl becuase the teasing I do works better since they have heard less of it. Why don’t you like pua? They have worked for me like Alex Coulson.

  4. Alex

    Hey Alex,

    Yeah, teasing beautiful girls usually works great since they are not as used to guys not being as clingy and needy around them. I like a lot of things about and from ‘the community’, but there is also a lot of stuff that I do not like or even despise.

  5. Jono

    Great article Alex. Pretty sure almost every guy can relate to this one.
    Keep the good stuff rolling in.

  6. Kevin

    Great post! The part I really dig about this is that the best option is to treat her as an equal, none of the put her on a pedestal b.s. I see guys do that all the time, as I know you do to, and it’s really discouraging. Usually I just sit back and watch them crash and burn.

    You are absolutely right about a beautiful woman wanting someone who can communicate with them and offer them something. They’ve been praised and ogled over their entire life.

    Anyway, nice stuff. I’ll definitely be subscribing to your site.

  7. Franky

    With a line like that, even if i got a small smile back, i’d have to go “haha, ok that was terrible” afterwards just so she doesn’t think that i think it is a real line.

  8. Girl

    :-D Great! Finally someone who seems to get it! Yes, I believe it`s quite right that the women described here do feel embarrassed and will quickly withdraw when men start adoring them too much. Why? well, it`s simple: these women don`t see themselves as being overly fantastic but generally are authentic and mostly honest enough to see themselves as who they really are. If a man now says and does things which are fully out of proportion, these women will only understand that the man did not take the trouble to look at them properly and would also not trouble themselves in future! And who would like that? Most women would like to meet a guy who they can trust, laugh with, share good and bad times with and not somebody who seems to mistake them for somebody there are not.
    So, yes, approach the woman you believe might be the one and carefully but openly start a conversation and make her laugh – and emember: shyness is also very attractive!!

  9. Marco Lee

    When you meet that kind of woman, sometimes it would be really hard to put her on a pedestal; But yeah that’s what a man must enduringly need to do.

    These are the types where we start really liking after at least a few times of talking to her and/or being around her. What I can say is that. Let that be an advantage, to just really talk to her and engage her. Get to really know each other and that is the chance where you could really develop into a good relationship.

  10. jake

    nice post thats remind me something i lived with a girl i used to love or at least thats what i think sometime i think i was just obsessed on her but anyway the point is she came to me and it was nice because in that time i thought i was no worth enought for beauty girl this fact usually happen to almost everybody in this world beauty and uglys all the same, anyway all my life ive been getting with girls at first sight i met them 1 day and at the 4th day im her boyfriend thas it, but i dont consider me better than nobody maybe it just easy enought for me to be funny but the matter start when you put that girl on a pedestal all the fun goes down because you try to be something more in her life without even know her at all and both lose the confidence so you wont annoy her because you think she will get upset and she either think the same thats a big mistake i learned that you most know her before but being careful because if you become her best friend you wont get something with her never, so i read some PUAS articles and i learned that my mistake in all of my relationship was put all of those girls in a pedestal the first 3 days i was friendly cause i never though to get with them but in the 4 day with the hope that they put on me i just raised them to a pedestal and this broke all my relationship almost all in the 2nd week now i met a new girl and im being different changing all my past mistakes and now everything is great because i never put her on a pedestal as you request on your advice and we have 1 month just being friend and she is in love with me thats the best reward when you take the time to know what you want and to know that person you think is better than other ones