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What Darwin Knows About Getting Laid That You Don’t

Old Charles was quite a charmer Old Charles was quite a charmer

Today I want to talk about a topic that really fascinates me – the correlation between dating and evolutionary biology.

As a human, basically and looking at the big picture, you only have two goals in life. And that is to survive until you can reproduce yourself (and then do it).

Now there are lots of factors in both of these goals, but on paper it shouldn’t be too hard. As a man, you just have to have access to women. And have a working “tool”. That’s it.

Evolutionary advantages a man can have

Let’s take a look at the basic evolutionary advantages a man can have:

  • The first advantage a man can have is to be old enough to reproduce him self.
  • The second advantage is to have access to humans of the female gender with whom you can reproduce.
  • The third advantage in terms of success is to have a working reproduction tool. For us, it means you have to have a working penis. The better it works (quality of sperm), the higher your chances of successful conception.
  • The fourth advantage is to be strong enough to keep the mother safe while she is pregnant. If the child is not born, the man has failed the reproduction circle. Fairly obvious.
  • The fifth and last advantage is to secure the child until he or she is old enough to reproduce him/herself. The circle ends here. You have secured your genes into the next generation. Mission complete!

In today’s world though, it’s a little bit harder than that.

Evolution and Dating – where’s the link?

As you can see above, every part of successfully reproducing yourself mainly consists of sexual behaviour and managing a relationship. That’s where I step in.

Evolutionary biology can also be credited for a lot of men’s liking in the ladies department. That’s why wide hips (usually) is a turn on. A woman with wide hips will simply have a better chance of successfully giving birth to a child.

And did anyone mention breasts? Big boobs usually mean she has a better chance of feeding the baby. This is crucial for the child to survive in the first year (or so).

That should be enough proof that evolutionary reasons play big roles in today’s world of dating and sex.

Let’s take a look at the more advanced evolutionary advantages a man can have in today’s society:

  • Be good looking. Although not alfa-omega, good looks do symbolize good health. A healthy man has a better chance of successfully reproducing, a better chance of providing food and shelter, a better chance of having wealth, all these kind of things. Do as much as you can to look good. Get your teeth fixed, get rid of acne, start to workout. You could say that your looks are your business card to the world. It’s the first thing (except your voice) anyone will notice about you, and you know what they say about first impressions… They’re important!
  • Be wealthy. Having enough resources to look after yourself, your woman (and your child) is vital in a woman’s decision on her partner.
  • Be funny. Although humour is not directly related to surviving and reproducing, it’s still a vital skill to have. If you can make her feel good (by laughing), she shouldn’t have any problems being with you for the rest of her life. Everyone enjoys being with someone who makes them feel good, this is totally logic behaviour. Good humour also implies social skills, which implies respect.
  • Be respected. Having high social value or being respected generally means you’re a good guy. Being a man’s man gives you much higher chances of also becoming the ladies man. By saying man’s man, I don’t mean the “high-five” kind of respect you can get by cracking a naughty joke once in a while. I mean the genuine respect and admiration a man can have for another man.
  • Be powerful. In today’s world, being powerful doesn’t imply the same things it did 100.000 years ago. Back then, being powerful implied all the right values. You had to be smart, intelligent, strong, respected and all these other basic attractive values. Today you can obtain power (at least politically) by simply having a lot of money. This is not the kind of power I am talking about. By saying be powerful, I am saying that you have to have congruence, be self-confident and have high social skills. Being powerful means you can gather people and get them to listen to you, and well, not laugh at you afterwards, but rather take into consideration what you’ve just said. Being manipulative does not equal power.

This is far from all you need to attract women, it’s really only a small part of it.

But without any of these traits, I can tell you one thing: Your chances of successfully reproducing just dropped by a couple hundred percents.


I will get into more of this kind of stuff another day if you guys are interested – I know I certainly am.

Until then, try to work on your looks, your wealth, your humour, your respect and your power. This is really 5 basic ingredients of human attraction, so having them handled is crucial for anything that has to do with women.

As a start, write a comment below and tell me what you think of the topic of Evolutionary biology related to dating. That would really help me, since I am not pumping out dozens of articles, and I only want to write about the things that you guys want to read.

Till’ then!

Relevant links:

This is something that I will start doing more often – adding relevant links to the end of my articles.

Benefits of Exercise and Working Out
Today, I want to link to my friend Jason from World Fitness Network and the post “Dating, Your Job, & Sex… Workouts Make it All Better“.

Basically it’s 14 reasons you should train – and most of them have very little to do with your body. As you might have figured out, I especially like point #2 – dating.

That’s it for now, look back next post for more links.

Image by cpurrin1

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9 thoughts on “What Darwin Knows About Getting Laid That You Don’t

  1. Jason

    Great article Alex and thanks for the link :)

    Evolutionary biology and dating: I’ve wondered if the fact that men are attracted to slender women is cultural or whether it’s on a deeper psychological level that we find thin women attractive. Is there a link between the fact that men mature slower, so tend to date younger, and younger women tend to be thinner? And maybe the opposite is true for women? Maybe there are a lot of other deep psychological things that men and women don’t even realize about themselves, but these things can be used to your advantage when dating.

  2. Alex

    You’re welcome Jason!

    I think that the issue on thin women is more of a “fashion” thing than an evolutionary thing.

    So many of us are overweight, and since that shows you’re not taking proper care of yourself, the opposite attracts us.

    I think that’s why we tend to like thinner women.

    About the age thing etc., I am not quite sure. I’ll start a little investigation on my own and let you guys know what I find.

    Thanks for your comment mate :)

  3. Raymond Chua

    Hi Alex,

    I’m kinda confuse here because I thought you said that we (men) don’t have to be good looking in order to get girls (in one of your post)

    Do you mind to explain more on that?

  4. David

    Raymond; If you have high status and display confidence then looks becomes less important, of course it’s a plus but women are not as shallow as men. A beautiful girl can be attracted to a man who’s not very good looking but has high status. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care about how you look. You should always try look your best, be well groomed and take care of your health. I think that’s what Alex is trying to say.

  5. Alex

    David, you’re absolutely right.

    Of course it’s a plus, saying looks doesn’t matter at all would be a complete lie.

    Raymond always try to look your best, this is really what matters. This way, you will also (most likely) FEEL more confident and thus projecting it better.

    Ray please get back to me if you still feel confused, and thanks for the reply David, much appreciated :)

  6. Albert | UrbanMonk.Net

    Good stuff Alex! I think once any guy fulfills any of this criteria he will be a dating god, so I look forward to seeing what else there is when you say this article represents only a small part of the attraction.

  7. Alex

    You can easily look forward for more stuff Albert, I have only yet covered a small fracture of all this “dating science”.

    Glad you find it interesting, and I am also glad to see you participate a little here.

    I think we can learn a lot from each other! (Maybe more me from you, but whatever. I may have a small thing to say once in a while too) ;)

    Thanks for your comment mate!

  8. Sean

    Interesting topic Alex! I never would have thought about how our attraction to wide hips and big breasts may on some level relate to us thinking that such a woman would be a good candidate to producing and maintaining succesful offspring.

    And like you described in the article, a man that looks healthy, etc. is probably on that same level to the woman’s perspective.
    There are kinds of topics pertaining to this subject and I think you did a good job giving an overview of them.

  9. Alex

    Hey Sean,

    Thanks for your comment :)

    Yeah, I don’t think a lot of us has been thinking too much about that. It really is interesting.

    Glad you liked the article, you can easily look forward to more good stuff in the future.