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Two Tips to Become more Peaceful and Reduce Stress and Negative Emotions in Your Everyday Life

Reduce the stress and just chill' Reduce the stress and just chill'

This post contains two tips for you to become much more peaceful in your everyday life. Apply them as you see fit, and watch your professional and social life bloom over the next few weeks.

If you’re used to being all stressed out over work, a girl etc., these tips will hopefully help you take some of that burden off your shoulders.

More mindfulness, peace and acceptance in your life will almost immediately reduce the overall stress you feel. It will help you to focus on the things that will really improve the quality of your life.

My first and most important tip is to…

Detach yourself from the outcome

This is definitely one of the harder ones to apply, but it is also something that can really change your life in a damn positive way. Primarily it’s about realizing that you do not have control over everything in your life. Yeah, you can always do your best, but sometimes, you just don’t have a say.

One of the things that will bring you the most stress in your life is to attach yourself to the outcome of things too much, and then blame yourself if it doesn’t go as well as it could have gone. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take responsibility for your actions, or shouldn’t try to correct things that have gone wrong. Definitely not. It’s about not caring too much about it and putting too much emotional energy into it.

Abundance instead of scarcity
The best way to do this is to come, or to act like you come, from a mindset of abundance. Let me give you an example: Let’s say that you invested 200 dollars in stocks. The firm you invested in goes bankrupt a couple of days later, and you lose your money. Boo-hoo. Two choices: either you cry about it and get angry etc., or you brush it off yourself just like if it was nothing but pennies to you (even if it weren’t!)

Now you should know that I am all for accepting your own feelings and ‘crying it out’ if you need to etc., but I have to say that in most cases, the ‘best case’ would be if you didn’t have a need to cry at all. And in most cases, you actually don’t. In the example, the investor most likely knew about the risks involved in his investment. And if he didn’t, he didn’t do his homework well enough. Either way, he should learn something from it. What he shouldn’t do is to let it get to him in a negative way. If he does, it can open the door to a lot of shit.

And now I know that we’re going quite deep, but of course, it would be best if you didn’t have a door at all holding back all your shit. But the reality is that most of us have. The optimal situation is by far to have ‘your shit together’ and not have anything negative suppressed in the back of your mind at all. To achieve this you will need to do a lot of soul searching, and hey, even though I think it would be a great idea, it’s just not very attainable for most of us mere mortals who deal with a day job and things to do. In the end though, it should be some kind of goal to be absolutely clear about your past experiences and have let them all go and accepted them in full.

SO…

To jump back on track, let me give you the second tip.

Beautiful Island

Do things that require you to put in an effort

This may not be logical at first, but let me explain what I mean. In my opinion, one of the best ways to clear yourself from something negative is to do stuff. And not to distract yourself, no, it’s to change your mental focus. Sometimes you get stuck in a mental loop about something, let’s say thoughts about an ex girlfriend, and the best way to get out of it is to snap out of it and do something productive. For me, something productive is something that will help you in the long term. A great example is a workout.

Ever felt ‘cleansed’ after doing something that really required you to give yourself completely? Most likely you have. It almost feels like you sweated a part of the negative experience of yourself.

Get into a super focused state of mind
Whatever gets you into a super focused state of mind will work, it doesn’t necessarily have to be productive (that’s just a plus). It could be to go to a concert and just really rock out. It could be to be fully submerged in a good book. It could be to have a really long conversation with your dad. It could be to paint a picture. It’s just about re-focusing your focus. And in my opinion, it is done best when you’re in that state of mind where nothing can slip under the radar and destroy your concentration.

Two extreme examples are bungee-jumping (how can you think about losing 200 dollars in stocks where you approaching the deadly ground with 99999 miles an hour?! ARGGHH!!!!) or driving a sports motorcycle on a track allowing you to go as fast as possible (this will require loooots of effort, I know it’s a random example but it brings my point forward. Pretty hard to think about your damn ex girlfriend when you could spin out or fuck up anytime if you don’t concentrate enough!) So basically, snap yourself out of it by doing something. Preferably productive. Boom!

So that’s it. Two things that work. Detach yourself from the outcome, and do things that require you to put in some effort. Give ’em a try.

And it would be cool if you would let me know what works for you in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Images by Mr. Punto and Achmed Amir.

11 thoughts on “Two Tips to Become more Peaceful and Reduce Stress and Negative Emotions in Your Everyday Life

  1. Michael

    Great article, Alex. “Clearing the head” is necessary but it seems like fewer and fewer guys can do it. And an abundance mentality is hard to have unless you really believe it. (But you should, because there is great abundance.)

    Every man should have a hobby (or better yet, a job they really love) that requires focus OR takes you out of your normal routine. Whether that’s racing bikes or fishing (a great meditative pastime), a good hobby can do wonders.

    It’s music for me: I write and play. Also long road trips – there’s nothing that clears my head more than a multi-day solo drive.

    Reply
  2. Alex

    Hey Michael, thanks man!

    You’re absolutely right about having a hobby, and/or a job that you like. It’s crucial for good mental health. Music and road trips… I like that. You sound like a peaceful man :-)

    What instrument(s) do you play?

    Reply
  3. William Zanelli

    Hey Alex,
    This post is soo pertinent for me :D I love the focussed mind bit – you’re 100% dead on, bungee jumping will sure help – I mean who gives a shit about a gf when you’re hurtling towards Earth at 150mph?

    I like the “detach yourself from the out come mentality” – It’s something I’m trying to master, as an entreprenuer this quality is essential – I like to call it a “Fuck it” attitude – the question you have to ask yourself is “worrying”, “crying” etc going to solve my problems? usually the answer is no. So find the thing that will solve the problem and do it. I’d recommend reading this poem (http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm) – i’m sure you’ve read it before.

    Finally, I will say its not easy to detach yourself from the outcome, so if something shit does happen (gf leaves you), and throws you off.. go to the sauna, steam room, relax and then have a good nights sleep, you’ll wake up in the morning with a clear mind. Or, I seem to anyway :)

    Reply
  4. Alex

    Hey William – never read that poem, thanks for sharing it! Good one :-)

    It seems like you’ve got your mental health in pretty good care my friend, it’s good to hear! Acknowledging that there’s a new day tomorrow and that you will live on even if you feel like shit can make all the difference in the world.

    Reply
  5. Michael

    Hey Alex – yeah, I think I’ve developed some peace of mind. Of course, there’s also positive, motivating stress, and I realized long ago I need that too.

    I play a little bit of everything – guitar, bass, keyboards, drum machine – I play just well enough to please myself.

    Reply
  6. Colly

    Alex,

    Thanks this was a good read – i am in the ex gf situation – although im 25 she was the first girl i really loved. We went out for about a year after meeting through mutual friends (my sister for example is one of her close friends). She broke up with me nearly a year to the day and i still catch myself missing her and thinking about her. Maybe part of the reason is that I know she got back with her ex bf from before me not long after she broke it off with me and she still is with him – i find it hard thinking she’s happy with and loved up with him yet i still miss her – the reason she broke up with me was cuz i acted stupid when drunk and she doesnt drink at all and neither does her ex bf she has got back with. Its been good to actually write this out and i guess i just needa let her go for good and let the stress of thinking about her go as well. It will still probably take some time but im sure ill meet another girl who will be even hotter than my ex was.

    Reply
  7. Jamiro

    Good post Alex, I definitely learned a thing or two from it.

    It helps me, just as you say, to do something that requires me to do something that takes effort when I’m feeling a little down once in a while. It’s like.. once you realize that there’s other things in the world than this one girl or that one rejection etc., it doesn’t seem so bad anymore!

    Reply
  8. charlotte Crivelli

    Hi Alex,

    Interesting article on reducing stress and thought this topic would really be of interest to your readers. The month of May is mental health month and I’m sure you are probably surprised to learn that one in four men suffer from some form of depression. Depression medication is known to cause a huge decrease in men’s libido, affecting relationships and their sense of masculinity.

    However, recently a Columbia University professor and psychiatrist, Dr. David Brown, hailed a hand-held device, the Fisher Wallace Cranial Stimulator, as an incredibly effective, safe and drug-free alternative to treat depression, anxiety, insomnia and stress. It’s completely natural and a recent Harvard Medical study on the device proved it’s effectiveness.

    Using the device has no negative side-effects and does not affect a man’s sex drive what-so-ever. I’m sure your readers suffering from stress, insomnia, depression or anxiety would be interested to learn they can improve their ailments without affecting their sex-drive or relationships.

    The cranial stimulator generates micro-currents of electricity using patented radio frequencies to stimulate the brain’s dopamine and serotonin.

    Would you be interested in speaking with Dr. David Brown about this device and how effective it has been for his male patients? If you are interested email me and I can set up a time for you to talk.

    Best,
    Charlotte

    Reply
  9. Chief Lewal

    I masturbate furiously in the morning. It purged my mind and body so I can tackle the days trials with a clear head and vigor, not to mention it just really pumps me up and gives me a strong pimp hand!

    Reply