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Text Messaging – How to Stop Hoping and Waiting For Her Reply

How to avoid sitting around waiting for a text message How to avoid sitting around waiting for a text message

It has been 15 minutes since you sent her a text. You just said that you had a great night last night, and asked when you would see her again. You have read it a couple of times after you sent it – was it any good? Could you have done better?

30 minutes passes. You have been checking your cell phone like a maniac. Why hasn’t she replied?!

45 minutes. Now you get all these wierd thoughts that, maybe she wasn’t that into you? But you vibed pretty well, didn’t you? What went wrong?

You start analyzing the evening for mistakes or clues. Nothing. Just a wait a minute! There was this awkward silence, and…

There is no point in continuing the story. You’re a smart guy, you get the point. I’m pretty sure you have been there, too. I know for sure that I have.

It’s a dark, dark place waiting for a text message reply. It downright sucks.

So what is there to do about it?

Get Your Ex Back

It’s about a change in mind

The simplest way to say it is this: Stop caring so much!

I know it can be hard. Really hard. But if you don’t want to walk around your whole life and just wait, it is absolutely crucial to learn it.

There will be hundreds of girls. She was just one of them.

This is the attitude you need to take on when you send a text message:

  • I don’t really care if she replies to this message. It’s just a text, I’m just a guy, and she’s just a girl.
  • It would be nice if she did reply, though, because I think she’s kind of cute and I would like to get to know her better.
  • I have better things to do than sitting around and waiting. I have a life. There will be others.
  • Now I’ll just live on and accept whatever the outcome may be.

So maybe she will reply. Maybe she never received the SMS. There are 1000 possibilities.

But in the end, it’s all about the amount of importance you lay on her reply. If it honestly doesn’t mean much to you, what’s the big deal?

Don’t check your phone all the time

Guys, this is huge! Try to really become “outcome independent” of your phone.

No, you don’t need to take it with you everywhere you go, just in case

No, you didn’t just hear your phone. It was probably something else.

No, you don’t need to check it every 5 minutes. And just in case you actually got a SMS, what difference does it make if you don’t read it right away?

Just chill. That’s the basic lesson for today. Don’t take dating so god damn serious!

When to write again

If, after a day or two she still hasn’t replied, it may be time to send another text, just to give it another shot.

Try to not sound too needy. Something along the lines of this should work:

“Hey (girl/nickname), too busy to reply, are you?… That’s just too bad, since I think you’re cute and would like to see you again! :-)

This is not necessarily an example of a good text message, it is just an example. And it may not be your style at all, always remember to ‘be yourself’.

I know it’s old advice, but to be yourself means to be congruent and authentic. Two really important qualities.

What you want to achieve is just some kind of life signal from her side. Maybe she didn’t receive your first text, and in that case, it was a good idea to send her another one.

Maybe she just forgot about it or actually ignored it. If that’s the case, she may reply to this one.

If she doesn’t, is she really worth spending your time and energy on?

I think not.

Third text

If you want to, and she haven’t replied to your second SMS, you can send a third one after a week or something.

A sample could be this:

“Are you alive?”

If she doesn’t text you back after that message, I would just delete her number.

But that’s just me. It’s your call ;-)

Let us hear your stories on waiting for text messages (or calls, for that matter) in the comments.

Photo by Don Solo.

Get Your Ex Back

266 thoughts on “Text Messaging – How to Stop Hoping and Waiting For Her Reply

  1. Fitzy

    I’m 17, and a Junior in high school, I’ve been very successful with women, but it seems to me that the only time I am successful with them is when I intend to do something with them, and really not pursue anything further. This is where my true problem comes in, for around the second time this year, I was on a promising track with a girl, we talked every night, she was interested we went on a date etc. But there were days where she wouldn’t text even after the night before we had left off on a positive note. She wouldn’t text all day, and with my very little patience, and ADHD, I would find myself texting her maybe 4-5 times in a 8 hour span, and the most frustrating thing is that I can’t seem to help it, and I end up just apologizing for it in the long run. I have never been one to come on strong, and I really have no clue where this problem has come from. Even today I was led to this forum because after the entire day of not receiving a text from a girl who is clearly interested in me, I shot her probably 4 texts throughout the school day, I find myself anticipating, and being crushed when my phone lights up to just the main menu. This is not me, I’ve always been so good with women, and you’re advice seems so logical in this post, but I feel like I’ve tried it, so I guess I am asking for advice in a sense of, I’ve come off needy with this girl before, and it didn’t affect anything, she forgot about it, and proceeded to be as flirty as ever, so should I not text her at all again tonight? And just wait till I receive something from her? I know this is long, and stupid, and I’m 17 with so many women to choose from but sometimes this shit just gets to you.

    Reply
  2. John

    Great work Alex.
    I agree that sometimes as “strong” as guys should be in the dating scene, we do feel frustrated when our messages are ignored, whether due to genuine reasons or just plain ignored. I feel that it is important to reduce the neediness i.e. stick to at most 3 messages at a go (without replies), i agree that is bordering on dangerous, and just let it go, whatever the outcome is.

    Take about a week off for yourself, dude, after all that frustration, you could use a good break. Maybe get in touch with other friends, male/female is good. Who knows, you might find that someone else to text, who is probably much more responsive that the one you are currently stuck at.

    After that break week, this is it. If responses still suck big time, get some pride, get over it. It is difficult, we all agree, but we guys deserve much better than that bad treatment.

    Of course, if things do recover, remember your previous mistakes, chill with the replies and messages.

    Remember, you’re probably not the only one. But make yourself the unique one who can get over it.

    Reply
  3. Jeames

    Hi,
    I have something to share. I met a girl at office. I liked her and proposed her. We dated for 3 months than I got a new job and had to shift overseas. We kept in touch on phone and on skpye. Note that all the calls were made by me. 1 day a friend of hers told me that she was dating some other guy…and asked me din’t she told me abt it. I got broke and called her up. And asked her abt it. She gave a cold answer that its wrong. Thank couple of days latter she told me that she needs time and she will be back. A month passed by I called her up and she said she never felt for me. Than we broke off. Next day she saw me online on Facebook and asked me how I was. I ignored her. Then we never talked to each other for a month. I droped her a msg in facebook saying “Hi, hope you are doing good.” She din’t replyed to my msg. Couple of days latter I called her and she din’t answer my call. I texted her to see if things are okie. But she never replied back. Should I move on. Or should I try again.

    Reply
  4. John

    Hi Jeames,
    I thought you had given ample chances to her.
    First off, shifting overseas and leaving your girlfriend back there, was a huge leap of faith. There was always this underlying danger that she might find someone else, it doesn’t take an expert to say that. But my point is that, since it happened unfortunately, i felt you did the right thing to clarify, which she gave a cold reply, as you said.

    Past this point, it was almost too obvious that it is actually true (meaning there was no misunderstanding both on your part and her part). The constant ignoring here and there felt like it was a chore for both of you to even face the issue (or at the very least, her).

    Picture the situation for both your “choices”, move on or try again.

    Move on: It is great of course! Get over her and start something new! What’s the point of sticking to a girl who isn’t even brave enough to face you. Is this the kind of girl you want as your girlfriend? Pardon me but i’m really on your side on this one.

    Try again: Uh.. Trying again constitutes getting her attention, whether for an online chat or phone call at the very least (which as you’ve seen, its next to impossible). I haven’t mentioned anything about the questions you probably have burning inside you, which may include, “why has she ignored me all these times”, “why doesn’t she ever call me”, “who then is that guy you were seen seeing”. I never said anything about ASKING her these things. No-no. That’s neediness. They are doubts in your head that probably can never be resolved. Restarting this relationship would seem like building upon a cracked foundation, i.e. you’re worse off than how you began with the first time round!

    That said, I feel you should start anew with someone else.
    However, i must say that i might be totally off in interpreting your situation, what i’ve said above is just purely my two cents worth. Hope i’ve helped you in your dilemma.

    Reply
  5. Jeames

    Thanks you so much John. It really had given me a new perspective. It was a great learing experience.

    Thanks,
    Jeames

    Reply
  6. Matt

    I have txt a women 20 times before in a hour with no responce and still ended up seeing them,not only that but also banging them,its how u get out of it when they call u creep,or clingy,if u have charm and whit then u can write a girl a novel ,call them 20 times and still land them the next day!!I am so impatient it sucks,This girl im txting now ,i know she likes me,she has a kid,we talked on phone a hour and she had to go but said for me to call her when im done taking bath etc,i told her i would send pic of new hair cut,well i called her back no answer,and sent her 15 txt as well,i asked her why she is ignoring me and that she has to hear her phone ring,or is she ignoring me to talk to some other douche,ill go as far as saying wtf why u being fake ,this happened last night and i told her she must be fake ,but i get a txt when i wake up from her at 130 am her saying sorry,see sometimes if u txt alot and tell it how it is that also SAYS i do not care i will say what i want and if u dont like it then tell me u do not want to talk,Usually a girl will tell u they do not want to talk if u ask them if they do not!U know things like your not my type,im not interested,well im talking to this other guy instead,etc.Fact of the matter if your a good looking guy (actually good looking though) u can get away with alot more,I have bitched this girl out before becuase she tried putting me down,i told her how ugly her guy friends were,she said well your ugly(typical)and i stopped talking to her online for like a month,then put up all different pics looking different with a different game plan and played it cool and patient,ended up meeting her,and banging her within 30minutes (hottie too) then i said hey dont u remember me though we use to bitch at eachother ,and i showed her the pics she would remember and she was like i thought u kinda look familiar,i said i must not be that ugly being we just banged haha. And to that 3 txt bs do u know how many longer txt are 5 txt long,Although women only respond to one ? at a time it seems so longer txt are pointless.

    Reply
  7. Justin

    I had trouble getting this girl to text me back for two weeks, I used your “second text” example, and it worked! We’re going bowling, I was about to give up on her.

    I wasn’t needy at all though, during those two weeks, I sent a total of two texts. But its not like she didn’t read them.

    Reply
  8. John

    Hi justin.

    Isn’t it just such a bummer, when you did everything just right, and you simply do not get anything close to a reply? It’s just strange. I mean, if you don’t even reply (by that i don’t mean converse back and forth) an answer, why even own a phone?
    Of course, i take it as we understand the girl can simply “decide” and “feel” like not replying, that’s a possibility..

    John

    Reply
  9. Jim

    This was an insightful article and the comments have been very educating to say the least.

    As a fellow man, who hasn’t been in these lousy-piece-of-no-good-shit situations? I often find myself stunned and confused when a girl I’ve been texting all of a sudden didn’t reply to my last text, and judging from your comments all of us apparently do.

    The best way to handle such situations is most likely to resist the urge to let your ego speak. If she doesn’t answer one text, why text her back and ask again? Let her do that, and if it was an misunderstanding; let’s say her phone got stolen or whatever.. You’ll find out eventually when.. say.. you meetup or whatever. If you resist the urge to not text her a second time, you’ll both increase your self-discipline and you WILL come across as more confident and alpha. I say this out of experience, as it is often easy to ‘overanalyse’ and dig into the reasons of why she didn’t reply. And guess what, you always have a tendency to over exaggerate, so my best advice to this?

    CHILL THE F*CK OUT. Really. As others have said, there are millions of other chicks out there, why should this one matter?

    One of my own experiences here (which happened quite recently) was when my .. i don’t know how to put it..but my quasi-kind-of-fwb didn’t respond to a text I sent. To give some background, we hooked up twice and got really close with the conversation. We connected emotionally and it was easy to build rapport with her. But as I got out of a long relationship, I made it clear that I did not want another. She seemed cool with keeping it causal, and so do I. But for some reason, I find myself wondering if I actually have developed feelings for her. I try to avoid those thoughts, but they keep coming up. Anyway, she went on a vacation with her friends for like a week; and I hadn’t made any contact since the day she left (oh, that day was hot btw ;-)). So, generally a couple of days later I just thought that I should text her something corny or sexual to spice it up and say something along the lines that would suggest a hook up when she got back. She replied quickly, and seemed positive. But when I followed up with a reply, she didn’t answer. And she hasn’t answered yet, and it has gone about a day now.

    I keep wondering, you know? Would she all of a sudden not be into me? I find it hard to believe as we had some great moments. But yeah, I wonder whether she think I am coming across as too serious with the seemingly ‘causal’ relationship we have going on. And that might have scared her off, even though I did explicitly state that I was NOT looking for a relationship. Those are some of my thoughts, but of course there could be a natural explanation; say, she doesn’t want to reply to texts as it costs too much when she’s overseas.

    I gave you this experience of mine as I hope it would give you some insight. And basically the way I handled this situation was to just not text her a second time to see if she got it. I know that I will see her when she comes back (which is tomorrow), so why stress it? A lot of guys tend to be too eager with these kinds of situations, and end up screwing it up because of that. So, the bottom-line is this; CHILL OUT, MATE! Go on about your life. Do whatever you find fun. Say you love to play games, drink, dance, exercise, or whatever. Just do the stuff that you love, it will most certainly keep your mind of such things. And also, a great piece of advice I once got was to NEVER date or causally hook up with one woman only. Always have your options open (that doesn’t necessarily mean that you MUST hook up with other women meanwhile, but just that you see other women for dates, etc.) By doing so, you will become emotionally detached which will grant you an enormous aura of self confidence.

    One last thing I want to share is if you REALLY REALLY REALLY want this woman, and REALLY want to text her a second time when she didn’t respond to your first. I suggest you do this. Let’s take an example. You met Jenny at a club last night, you had a blast and conversation was great. You ended up making out and getting her number and you feel pretty good about it. By the end of the night, you told her with a smirk; “I’ll text you.” And so you go home, sleep and wake up the next morning. Your mind is on this chick and you want to text her, but you resist the urge for now. Eventually, you text her and you’re like:

    “Hey [girl’s name]. Great night, hope you had fun. So, what say you..would you like to continue our awesome conversation from yesterday? I know you would ;)”

    The text is good, but there is no reply. You wait for several hours (maybe until the next day). And you get so impatient that you MUST know. What I suggest you do now is to just send her this text:

    “your shit”

    You’re not even spelling it right, and that’s the intention, like you don’t give a rat’s ass. What this will do, from my experience, will compel her to write back. If you don’t believe me, try it next time you’re in these kinds of situations. A typical reply you could get is:

    “who is this?”

    Or she could just excuse herself by not replying. It has worked the most times for me, and it is fun as well.

    Anyways, sorry for a lot of text. I can go on all day it seems. But thanks for reading this if you got this far, haha.

    Peace.

    Some guy named Jim.

    Reply
  10. John

    Hi Jim

    Thanks for that great text there. I must say you’re right on about the chilling part. It is really true that there might have been some natural reason that is causing the delay in replies as i have experienced it a few times myself and i end up with a “aha! why didn’t i even think of that” whenever i found out during a group meet up or some other non-stalking way. There are perhaps a million ways or reasons that you couldn’t have thought possible and happened. There was once when i was told she left her phone at home for the entire day (i thought girls could forget everything but her phone???) or that she was sooo engrossed in a game that she finally replied in the wee hours of the day.

    In short, there are a million natural reasons why a text is not replied but only ONE possibility is that she’s decided not to reply you because she hates you or something.

    But as an added note, i realised that it is ALWAYS very difficult to exercise that self control you mentioned. I mean, how difficult it is to just give even a short reply to a text that was sent? There are 24 hours in a day, do we believe that there was not even 1 minute that was free to make an answer? etc. as all the arguments would follow from here.

    Also, i thought most girls love to text and text and text? Well apparently most of us down here met those rare ones who hate text? I’m not saying that’s impossible…

    John

    Reply
  11. Jim

    Hello again John.

    Thanks for the reply. I like your points, especially the self control part. It does present a living hell when you really think about. It cannot be that hard to answer? But, in my opinion it is best to not think along those ways. It is better to maintain a different mindset to these matters. I say this for one’s own sake as it is very destructive to do so. As the original poster said (Alex), it is better to not care so much. In essence, it’s only a girl we’re talking about, right?

    Self control is of course very difficult to maintain as it can slip right out of your hands when you’re not looking and it can potentially f*ck you up. Yet, you can increase your self control in a number of ways, and this includes other aspects in life and not only text messaging with a woman, etc. A great way to practice this may be this; Say the next time you get a text from a certain someone. Why bother to look at it instantly? If you already got it, why stress it? It’s not going anywhere? If you wait, say 10 minutes, every time you get a text before looking at it (doesn’t matter from whom), you will increase your self discipline and you will become less dependent on these ‘texting’ issues. I think this applies to everyone as we all love to get a text, right? Why destroy that feeling of receiving a text by looking at it instantly? Why not cherish in the moment and enjoy it will you can? See what I’m saying?

    Another way to improve one’s self control in these matters is also, as I mentioned before, TO SEE MORE WOMEN. Don’t only see one, as then you will surely become obsessed with her. And that will only scare her off and make her reject you even faster. Always have your options open. I have shot myself in the foot so many times by not having more options open than just one. We tend to put a kind of idealized perfection on this woman that she neither deserves nor possesses and that is indeed self destructing. So, if you find yourself obsessing with one woman, do something about it! Call your friends, and go out to bars, clubs or something. Just meet more women. It will do you so much good, and you will actually look more desirable in women’s eyes when many are vying for attention. And in the end, this one woman you found yourself obsessing over will not even consider rejecting you.

    Oh, and John..your last line; I thought about that too. It surely seems that all of us have met girls that either hates to text or well.. to face the harsh reality.. are not that into us. But yes, it all comes down to that the girls should be glad WE give them attention, not the other way around. I believe if one keeps that mindset one will enjoy tremendous success in one’s dating life.

    Oh and btw, my issue with my fwb worked itself out lol. Seems I was exaggerating it all as ALWAYS, so fun fun this weekend. ;)

    Peace.

    Jim

    Reply
  12. John

    Jim,

    It’s great to hear that your issues sorted itself out.

    I think it would be a hard thing to admit that some girls just aren’t into us, at least most of the guys find so. As for me, i always take anything that is possible within the possibility zone in my head. I agree with you to that because i think it is the same how we cannot make ourselves “like” every girl that comes along. So yup, i should move on if i find that the girl does not like me romantically!

    And incidentally, i’ve tried your suggestion of waiting up whenever i got a message from anyone, just sometime back, i find that more empowering to me than instantly reading and replying. Also, i happen to be familiar with some of the works of some pick-up artists (PUA), they encourage us to show a little more indifference than we would like to. At the end of the day, I find that i am in more control and i do not appear needy and desperate for replies as a result. On the flipside, there’s always some disappointment if it so happened that either there aren’t any replies or it is from someone else. Just to maintain a balanced view :)

    About your point about avoiding that dangerous mindset of “it can’t be that difficult to answer”, i can’t agree more with you. Although it is totally logical and so consequently being “right”, we must maintain another mindset that is less destructive than this. Not doing so will just make ourselves miserable. Which leads to the “solution” which most PUAs suggest.

    Keeping our options open. I know that would be really effective. But unfortunately, it is not always possible to explore other options. The way i do it is, i meet up with my friends, doing stuff i enjoy. Nobody said that doing other things must refer to seeing other women, although that would be best =p

    As a last note, i felt that all that messaging can never beat a face to face interaction. Not only it is less possible to be ignored (in which case you should just move on), it is also easier to make a conversation much more interesting. Expressing emotions (no i don’t mean expressing your feelings to her romantically :) ) cannot be done effectively in messaging but is easily achieved face to face. Furthermore, the chances of progress is greater and when the situation calls for it, some physical touch is also within reach. After all, if things were to progress to the next level, i.e. living together, marriage, kissing etc. can NEVER be done in a virtual environment such as through the phone. So i would say, given the option of getting more replies from the girl OR getting the chance of interacting personally with the girl, i’d choose the latter.

    I thank you, Jim, for your posts. They not only provide a fresh perspective, but also reinforce in me some of the things i think are right, are right.

    John

    Reply
  13. Lex

    Curious. Every time I see this girl I like, she always reminds me through the time I’m with her, to text her. When I do text her when I get home, she takes for ever to reply. Sometimes, it will be days. I do really like her and want to make something out of this friendship, that’s why I havne’t deleted her. I always seem to feel like she ins’t into me-due to the lack of communication through texts, but when I see her in person, shes always happy to see me! I give her a day or two, cause shes always busy with work and such. I know she is busy, so I don’t spam her to death-also makes me look needy or w/e. I look at the pro’s and cons and I’m confused as hell. Any thoughts on what I should do or don’t do? Thank you a bunch! Please email me if/when you reply to my comment. SteelJacket02@gmail.com

    Reply
  14. Jim

    Hey again John.

    I read your posts. And I especially like your last paragraph. Of course face-to-face interactions beat the hell out of text messaging. Personally, I hate text messaging as they’re such a complex way of communicating. You know, you comment on what they said and then you MUST follow up with a question in order to make the conversation flow while texting. (There are differences of course, but this is a general scheme for text messaging). But I must say that text messaging is a way to show interest, stay in touch, etc. with the person. And when you meet up it will be a lot more easy, as you can for example bring up one of the conversations you talked about in sms. Texting and meetups are both essential in this sense, but as you say.. I’d also prefer only face-to-face interactions as they are a lot more fun.

    And, John.. I’d like a piece of advice from you, if you could help me out. You see, the situation with my fwb is gnawing at my mind, which disturbs me. You know, you shouldn’t maintain a ‘couple status’ in such causal relationships, but instead a more relaxed but at the same time ‘always-flirty’ interaction with the other person? But since I often meet her with other people it is hard to show this, as I cannot go too far, right? I couldn’t start talking real sexual to her while there are lots of other people around, instead I have to maintain a fun attitude and all that. But it is hard sometimes. Yet, I can show some of these signs through smirking eyecontact as no one will see that except me and her, but my real question here is:

    How would you interact with your fwb in a social situation where there a lot of other people who know you both? Some of the people we hang out with also know that we hooked up, etc. How much should I talk to her in a social situation? Or should I just barely talk to her and talk to other people more in the situation or would that communicate the wrong signals to her? And I’m also wondering what your opinion on text messaging with your fwb is. Should you maintain a contact throughout the days, or just cut all contact between your hookups? Or something in between, as a text every so often, that asks how things are, etc. A woman’s opinion on this would also be very helpful! ;)

    And Lex, regarding your issue. I’m familiar with that, and it is kinda annoying. And I know how hard it can be to ‘forget her’, since you may think she’s a ‘keeper’. But, my best advice is to just try your best at text messaging or face-to-face interactions, but do not make it a part of your priorities. Do stuff you like to do, that will disconnect you from the issue. You necessarily don’t have to meet other women, but just hang out more with friends or start up some new hobbies that will keep you engaged. That is my best advice, I think. Do ask anymore questions if you like to have some more clarity.

    Peace.

    Jim

    Reply
  15. John

    Hey Jim,

    I’m with you about your view on how a typical messaging conversation should go and how it means interest in the other person.

    I think i might have the kind of advice you are looking for, assuming i got you right. I think there’s a difference between sexual talk and bantering. Sexual talk involves certain sexual suggestions which i believe might not be absolutely appropriate for the occasion especially with all your friends around. In these occasions, i think you should be bantering instead. Tease. Have fun. Also, i think it would do you good not to specially single her out and only teasing her and ignore the rest. I think it best serves your interest if you could do the same to other girls, GUYS even. In general, everyone gets it. Have fun. It puts you not just in good light, but also the “right” light.

    Don’t ever worry about “sending the wrong signal”. To me, the only way you could “send the wrong signal” is when you turn all needy and wussy around the women you like, complimenting them and waiting on them like they are queens of England. That’s when all the “coolness” and “alpha image” disappear. Just for the record, wussy = wimp + pussy, its just not a very good word. It describes needy and weak men, which we avoid being.

    Onto your question about text messaging fwb, there is never a right way to do something so that something nice happens, but never ever message everyday, or every other day. Random, sometimes you could message again the next day if you’ve got stuff to talk about, or NONE at all for the week if there’s nothing. I guess, there is no need to force a conversation if there really isn’t anything to talk about. You’ll only turn really miserable, and PLUS she’ll realise that you are not that interesting at all (how interesting can a forced conversation be?).

    Furthermore, i am not an advocate of “asking how things are”, i mean, do you really need to know how things are over there? Or what you really want is just to converse with her? I’d think it is the latter, as I myself feel so when I am in the situation (how bad or how good can her day be, dude?) Also, by asking that, you’re just heading into a real boring topic, with her reply being “just normal”.

    I might have mentioned before, but face-to-face interactions should precede messaging. It just provides you with more things to discuss about (not that discussions are any good topics) and more reason to plan out a future meet-up.

    Hope it helped and hear from you soon!

    John

    Reply
  16. Jon

    Well, I met this girl 10 years ago and we only met for 1 quarter at RIT. We barely talk much but she remembered me very well.

    So I contacted her 10 years later via email, and then exchanged very harsh words, somehow made her laff. So I gave her my text number, and she gave me. So we start of texting and it went well. Then several days later she stopped texting me. She did informed me ahead of time that she will be at the conference for a week. I did text her saying, “Is your battery dead”? I got her text message saying, “No but I am BUSY”. So I respected her and didn’t text her for 2 days in a row.

    Today, I suspected she left the conference and texted her, “Good morning, . How was the conference”? She didn’t respond to my text message; when I first saw her on the webcam, she thinks I am sweet and all. I need to understand women psychology regarding text message so I can be better prepared and ammunition against silence.

    Women were being BRAINWASHED by brazen feminist extremist who wants nothing more to break mens’ heart. So, apparently, they went forth and brainwashed many venerable women for feminist’s cause. As the bible stated, “Love will grow cold..” because of extremist view of hatred toward men. I understood them very well; women thinking that world revolves around them which is pretty bullshit. I am all for women right, but there’s a line where WOMEN should not cross!!!!! This creates a dangerous boundary to men and undesirable result can occur. What’s women brain all about leaving men out in the dark? I see several issues here:

    1. It creates a bait lawsuit which leads men into paranoia and thus:

    a. stalking
    b. rape
    c. harassment

    By harassing all of the brazen rights women have via law, they can exploit this to their own gain, as if it’s their primary career, money making tools, and abusing this very law to protect women.

    This is very devastating toward men, and women can be very dangerous using this exploit.

    Here’s my advice to women: SAY NO! If you don’t want to see this person (men/women) say NO! Walk away, instead of leaving them in the dark; believe me, this will RUIN YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT! Say NO! This sends a clear message to men and there’s no analysis required, it’s a direct, clear message. There’s no paranoia, no self-questioning, or stalking you to demand an answer, “WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME IN THE DARK?” It leads to undesirable consequences as I have listed above, plain simple.

    Furthermore, makes you women, SINGLE! And men will slander you across the nation, internet, and everyone will know your name: a fool, a tool, and worst of all – a bitch. Trust me, I’ve been there. When women don’t respond to me, I slander them. And boy, let me tell you, I got women in the shithole. THEY RESPONDED! BANG!

    Reply
  17. Jim

    Hey John.

    Thanks for the advice. It did help and I’m in a lot more stable position right now. All is good and the fwb relationship is very causal to say the least. And what else is that I’ve managed to detach myself better than I did before, as I feel more strong and assertive right now.

    It might be that I was ‘lovestruck’ before, but those things happen, don’t they? And I finally found out that this wasn’t as had I expected. I’m coming back to some of the points I mentioned earlier in my posts that we tend to put a kind of idealized perfection on a woman we find is a ‘keeper’ or we don’t feel ‘done’ with so-to-speak. I think that happened to me before, and that I didn’t keep my options open. I’ve returned to reaction and let myself loose so that this would not be the case, and all I can say to any of you guys out there finding yourself lovestruck or obsessing over a woman is to give it TIME. As always time is a key factor in situations like these, if you can manage you will find that time gives you a tremendous ability to cope with all situations in life. Now, this is almost turning into a moral lesson, but it is true. Time heals all wounds, even though we don’t want to believe it… it does.

    All I can say now is that life is good. You might realize from my inexperience that I’ve never been in a fwb situation before, but I must say I like it. I know there are people who can’t handle no-strings-attached-sex, but somehow I find that I can. I guess it works because I’ve accepted that the causal relationship is not permanent; it is something that will end sooner or later. I presume it enables us to distance ourselves from reality if we choose to accept its short life span rather than to strive for making it a long term commitment. Just as we want to say, “I just wanna have fun.”

    I thank you for your good replies, John. It has been a pleasure to chat with you, and it has reinforced my beliefs in the dating scene in life. I hope you stay well, and perhaps I’ll talk to you sooner or later.

    Reply
  18. Billy Alley

    Right on. These are some good tips, and glad to read it because it furthers my own doubts. It’s funny how the other day I decided to connect back with this girl I was totally into. Haven’t talked to her in a few months. The FIRST thing that happened again was I went into anxiety mode. Sucked, but I am learning to deal with the feeling. I’ve heard that women won’t text back if they like you, and a lot of the time, they wait a couple days. But yep, just forgetting about it and keeping occupied, as best you can, even though it may be the girl of your freakin’ dreams!

    Reply
  19. John

    Hi there Billy,

    Yes, anxiety is what most of us feel if we were in the same position, but i think it took wisdom to realise you are actually feeling that way. If you did indeed face a no-reply situation, it sure is good that you’re able to deal with that.

    When faced with someone who just wouldn’t give a reply whatsoever, how would you deal with it? (there’s the “give-up” option which seems very real to me)

    Guys, i’d gladly read any posts from any of you too.

    John

    Reply
  20. billy

    hey so there is this girl that is pretty good friend of mind but now im starting to like her. we had a fourth of july party not too long ago and she keep giving me mixed signals of her actually liking me back. she was always by my said the whole time and i put my arm round her and she said she wasnt at all uncomfortable with it. but still hhavnt told her that i like her or her to telling me. so days later text messages start getting shorter and later and asked a couple times to come to my games but she was busy with something else but then one day she text me early and found out my friend had told her i liked her the day before so i was thinking maybe she does like me but she stopped texting me all of the sudden that day. the next day i took my friends advice and asked “how would you feel about me asking u out on a date” her response ” i might say yes :) then again.. i have such a busy schedule and all. i might not have time for u”. so i said when she had time let me know and she said well im done with waterpolo this week. and then i said ok cool do u want to next friday but she hasnt reponded. so do u think she is interested and might just be busy or feel bad and tying to make excuses in tying to not see me since she is a friend

    Reply
  21. bradly Service

    aha great.. still doesnt help.
    so i was like k done that to all the points well cept the 2nd text was like 4 days later just casual.
    3rd txt exactly a week later asking if still alive… only thing is i got a text 2 days later saying sorta. (thats it nothing, else end of story.)
    your post then ends.. so i ask now what? i responded and am now put aside yet again.

    Reply
  22. jokerazd

    @bradly service
    i would try move on she doesn’t seem interested unless she starts responding more. being ignored sucks.

    Reply
  23. Sunblaze

    Lol, how shallow!

    Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and those are the same old boring ones. But sometimes you find a golden fish. One you want to protect and care for … to love.

    It is up to you … Is she worth the chase? Can you win her heart? Is she worth it. If she is you’ll try if she’s not then you’ll give up.

    Chase in moderation. It’s fun. It’s chivalrous. It’s the way the game goes.

    Reply
  24. John

    Hey hi,

    you know, i feel that we should not take alex’s advice like a quick fix pill and suddenly expect smooth and frequent replies from the girl thereafter. If you wanted to think it would turn out that way, we’re pretty wrong.

    i felt that the main point to alex’s “are you still alive” message wasn’t that it’d fix the problem right there and then. It was actually a “cocky and funny” comment, which definitely would sound great if you’re talking to someone who RESPONDS to such teasing. Its magic is just there. That is what it promises. It doesn’t promise sudden attraction to you.

    I agree with jokerazd. You may have the best things to say, but if the girl simply decides to see everything as goofy and lame and boring, no matter how interesting your convo material is, she’s just gonna *looks at phone, puts down*. Admit it, she’s got a boring life. She doesn’t see opportunities. If she doesn’t see the interest in things on her own, you can’t force her to. Have you seen those really responsive girls? You only have to make a small comment, they’d be like, have millions and millions of comments to tell you, and you didn’t even have to do any special thinking!!

    I think that, we, as guys, must know a phrase.
    “No one can blame a guy for trying.”

    You’ve tried, you’ve done your best. It’s now your job to move on. There is no point in trying harder to “chase” a girl who isn’t even willing to give things a shot. If sending messages to her will only land you in misery for the rest of the day, and you KNOW it, why do it? Hope, is a beautiful thing. But when it fails on you, you’ll feel terrible. It is only beautiful if it works out. Just for the record, i’m not encouraging anyone to be extremely pessimistic. The magic phrase is, “move on”. You take care of yourself.

    John

    Reply
  25. Cleanwithit

    Hello, all. My cousin has a friend that I really like, and I believe she likes me…We all hung out over my cousins house, had some beers. I got drunk, and she took care of me…But, we didn’t talk for a couple weeks. She sent me a message on facebook “So, we better be going to the movies here soon”…I didn’t reply until the next day…..and we never went to the movies because i was busy

    Then thursday night she sent me a message saying “So, i was looking through my phone and your number was in it? lol weird..It was probably from that one night when you texted my phone because my phone is Piece of shit”

    After that my phone started acting up, and wouldn’t come back on. I sent her a message when I got another phone saying “Sorry, my phone is a piece of shit, just didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you…She said “lol you’re fine!

    We were talking last night. She was like I’m at my lil bro’s baseball game. I was like “Dope, is that youth league?”…She said “Yessir, allstars”… Then, I said “What position does he play” you know just making friendly conversation, trying to get to know her, and all that…She hasn’t responded and its been almost 24 hours. I’m not worrying too much, just came across this blog. Any thought? Should I text her back?

    Reply
  26. John

    Cleanwithit,

    I see that in your case, she’s pretty okay with you, i saw it from her initiative. Now you’re saying she isn’t replying for almost 24 hours and it seems to me that you’re real worried.

    Remind me for a while. Did you just tell me a one off incident?

    If so, then you have nothing to worry about. It is just plain hard to continue a convo when you’re talking calmly about a game of baseball game. Nothing against girls here, some girls i know are absolutely great athletes. To put it plainly, sports is just plainly a bad subject to discuss about using messaging. Personally, i think it is pretty boring (would be more interesting face to face).

    You should have said something like “So…. How much did he pay you to go watch his game??”

    I suggest teasing and banter. You’re not lost. You just need the right mindset. You’re having a way better situation than most of us down here.

    John

    Reply
  27. Al

    I met a girl through a friend while visiting (about 3 hrs away from where I live). We danced together and pretty much isolated ourselves though we were in a group. We started texting and calling a week later and were talking pretty much every day. We had a lot in common and I loved talking with her.

    I visited my friend 2 weekends ago and we ended up making out and back at her place twice… no sex. We ended up randomly kissing for the rest of the weekend and she was talking about coming up to visit me.

    This past week she has been really distance. We haven’t really talked for a couple days though we randomly text very light conversation almost daily still. I find myself wanting to talk to her, but don’t want to seem too eager or desperate. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m beginning to think maybe she’s no longer interested.

    :(

    Reply
  28. John

    Hi Al,

    I was thinking, you MADE OUT with the girl, and now you’re worried that she’s not interested because she seems to have distanced herself.

    How so? Like not meeting you for more than a few days or messaging?

    But still, there’s nothing to worry about, since you CAN’T be talking about stuff everyday… It gets boring for sure and you’d wind up talking about normal things, which is boring too. Give her and yourself some time, give her the gift of missing you. If she misses you, great! If she doesn’t and is going to avoid you forever, let go of her. You’re better off without someone who isn’t interested in you. Really.

    John

    Reply
  29. Jon

    I’ve just recently come out of a four year relationship, which ended with me getting hurt the most. I usually jump straight into a new relationship & mainly with work friends because they already know me, so I rarely have to go on dates. I decided this time to take some time out, find myself & be more comfortable on my own, without needing a new girlfriend to cover up the hurt of the last one. So in other words no rebounding.
    Last week I went out clubbing with some friends, I was specifically just looking for a good night out & was not in the mood to try & pull a girl, simply because of my state of mind. Now I’m a regular clubber & I’ve never ended up with a girl at the end of the night, probably because of hearing horror stories about one night stands & beer goggles. Two of my friends & I went out to the smoking area, when suddenly two pretty young ladies approached us for a lighter. Now I left my friends to make small talk with them as I really wasn’t interested & carried on smoking my cigarette. After a while one of the girls turned towards me & said “your nice & tall aren’t you” to which got us into a healthy conversation. Thankfully just as me she wasn’t drunk otherwise I would have said my piece & walked away. Now this girl was stunning, she was tall like me & was interested in my caring nature. Well by the end of the night after a few dances with her, her sister in-law gave me her number by her request. The next day we texted pretty much all day, but the day after she replied to two of my txts then she stopped texting me. I did arrange to meet up with her at the end of the week for a coffee & she has agreed to meet me. I’m trying not to feel too apprehensive about meeting her for the coffee but as she hasn’t txt me now for two days I’m starting to think she’s lost interest. I must say I feel a little out of my depth because she is so beautiful, so the dead silence of no txts is not helping my confidence. I just feel like I’m waiting for her to cancel on me. I really would appreciate some advice. I’ve been told by my house mates to just play it cool & don’t txt her & when she txts you it will show you she’s still interested but what if she’s thinking the same thing! Shall I txt her?

    Reply
  30. John

    Hey Jon,

    First thing i would like to say is that, you either break it and call her or sms her, thereby showing that you are needy and risking her seeing you that way, or you listen to your mates who told you to play it cool and wait.

    The way i see it, you established a meet-up with her at the end of the week and she AGREED. Let’s do a quick imagination, shall we?

    Say, she ends up actually meeting you. What does that mean? How would you explain the previous “unreplied” messages? You’d probably say, maybe she happened to decide to stop texting and get on with work or something. There are MILLIONS of reasons why a woman would stop texting. So why fret over it? It would seem pretty silly (i’m sure you’ll see) fretting over such an issue when she does finally meet you and kept to her end of the promise. Anyway i’m sure that there are SOME times when you receive texts and do not reply them. Recall the mindset, and there is her reason.

    Then, picture that she actually flakes out on you on the day itself. That is probably the worst scenario, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it seems. Either she explains (by giving a valid or a super crappy reason) and sets up another time (by that time you could make her pay for your next date) or totally forgetting about you. So now for a moment, think. Would you ever want such a beautiful woman in your life, who FLAKES OUT ON YOU ALL THE TIME?? You really have nothing to lose either way. Take the next date if offered. If not, just freaking forget about such a woman. Not worth your effort.

    John

    Reply
  31. Phil

    I’m in kind of a strange situation. Met a girl at a club a few weeks back, and we have lots on common. I didn’t have my phone on me, so she wanted my number. She sent me a text a few days later and we text back and forth for a while. I told her I’d call her later in the week. I called her, chatted for quite a while and things went smoothly. She was going to be busy that weekend, but said she’d call if she could make time to meet up. I ended up calling her later the next week and she didn’t answer. So I decided to go out and do something for a bit. Came back and she left 3 texts, apologizing and said she was busy. More texting, and then she asked if i wanted to get together that weekend. I said ok, and I’d call her with the plans.
    I made plans to meet up at a pub, then proceed to an outdoor concert. About an hour before we were supposed to meet up, she asked if I had a friend to bring along for her friend. So my friend and I meet up with the girls, had a great time, though we all maybe drank a bit too much. Night ends with my friend taking off, me walking the girls to their car. The girl I went with gave me her friends phone number to call to let them know I got home ok. I didn’t call until the following Tuesday. She didn’t answer the phone call, but sent me a text the next morning saying she fell asleep. I text her later in the day saying “no problem” and she didn’t respond. So I tried to call that night and again, no answer. She text me later that night, and we were texting back and forth when she stopped responding. I haven’t sent a text back yet, and its been 5 days without hearing from her. Any ideas? Should I text her? She has a 2 year old son, so I know things come up.

    Phil

    Reply
  32. ET

    When did women just decide it was suddenly acceptable to sack men off because it’s inconvenient, and not feel the need to actually tell them? Ignorance and cowardice no more make a good woman than blancmange makes a good statue, but thats the way the world is going. And it applies to men too- too many lies, too much stupidity here. Too much playing the f*cking fonz in my opinion and pretending to have a pair. WHERE HAS YOUR INTEGRITY GONE, PEOPLE??? YOUR GRANDPARENTS SENT SPACESHIPS TO THE MOON! THEY’D BE F*CKING EMBARASSED TO SEE PEOPLE STILL BEHAVING LIKE NUTLESS LITTLE KIDS IN THEIR 20S!!!!

    Reply
  33. Drew Patrick

    So im pretty familiar with the games here but this girl i just started dating over a week ago is confusing. yes they all are but all she does is text. she says its cause she doesnt like to talk on the phone that much unless need be so i cant get all my wishes i understand that but… we click really well and things are moving strongly just in the past 9 days. Well she is a pretty strong and independant woman and i dont want to smother. she is the one that usually texts me but im wondering if maybe i should put in more effort to contact her. reason i wait for her is cause it always seems like she is busy and currently she is in another state on a spontanious get away with a girlfriend. I told her last night when she texted me to give me a call today but its already mid day and im wondering if i should just text her or wait since i told her to call me. i dont want her to feel she is doing all the contacting. what you think?

    Reply
  34. Sarah

    Heya drew Patrick.:) I would say you should call her because well, even an independent women like the person your dating, wants to feel needed and wanted. It’s a fact of women, we love it when guys text us or call us cause well it shows that your interested in us girls.:)
    Also I need some guy help, it seems that whenever I text a guy who I really like, he always seems to give really short answers and so it kinda ends the convoy…. should i try getting the convo going again? Or just finish the convo and wait for him to send me anothet text? Uhh how do ee know if a guy. is even really interested?!

    Reply
  35. Alex

    Sarah, you should definitely text him if you’re interested. If he doesn’t ever seem to have anything to talk about, he’s either not interested or boring… either or, you are probably better off without him. I don’t like the long waiting games for who’s going to text first. What if you’re both playing that game? I’ve found myself saying, “if she doesn’t want to initiate a conversation, I guess she’s not interested.” When in reality, she might be playing a game just as much as I am.

    Lately this one girl has me super flustered. I can’t figure it out. We were texting and talking daily. We went out a couple times, she said she had a great time. The last time I saw her, we kissed goodbye (not the first time kissing). But I asked her about 2 weeks ago if she wanted to hang out that weekend and she said she would have to check out… well she never got back to me until Sunday and then she was texting me like it never even happened. Very confusing. Since then I cut back on texting her, and so it seems she’s done the same. I really do like this girl, but now she hasn’t replied to my last text I sent a couple days ago. I know people get busy, but this girl really has me wondering what went wrong!

    Reply
  36. Gonzo

    Hello all, I love the article and it seems like sensible advice. I figured it was worth asking about my situation. It’s quite simple, I met up with a girl for a date off a dating site. Now I’m a bit new to dating (long term relationship before that) in general, and she seemed super responsive to begin with. We exchanged texts a good few times, and as far as I could tell the date went OK. More importantly it was actually her who suggested we meet in the first place. Maybe she just wanted to see me and then get a yes or no quickly eh?! ;-)

    I am however a bit naive and made a few errors (probably should’ve dressed a little better, should have asked her a few more questions etc) but even so at the the end of the night she said “shall we do this again?” and I said I’d like to on the weekend. I know it would be chivalrous to call, but I text casually just asking if she is free at the weekend. I’ve heard nothing for 2 days.

    As I’m pretty chilled out, I’m going to sit tight but I do know for sure that she has logged back into the dating site we met on, which in my eyes isn’t a brilliant sign. She was very sweet and very attractive, and I would have liked a few more meetups to get to know her really well. As I only met her once, I’m managing to chill and leave her alone pretty well for now. My best guess is that having met me in real life she just wasn’t as keen on me as she initially thought, as that is when the texts stopped, but I do wonder if it’s worth another message just to see if I can hit the delete button already!?

    Reply
  37. Victor

    Hello all, I have read a number of these posts, and just couldn’t resist the urge to share my situation.

    So, I met this girl about 3 1/2 weeks ago in a summer class at college. We both showed interest in eachother. We ended up hanging out about 7 times, with the last hangout ending with bowling with her, and a couple of her friends. We had an awesome time! We have made out about 5 of the 7 times hanging out, which included outercourse and her “breast feeding” me. We both very much enjoyed those nights, and on the very last occassion she thanked me for having a great time.

    Now, during those 3 1/2 weeks we were texting a lot. The communication was solid. I think since the 4th-28th we had a combined number of about 2300 texts. Which is the most I have texted anybody in my life. She is very consistent with her texts, usually answering back within 1-3 minutes. Unless she is busy at work/school, or she fell asleep. Up until the 28th, she didn’t reply to my last text. Nor did she even text me the next morning. So, after the first day I was in anxiety mode, my mind having running thoughts about her still am), thinking about what I did wrong, going back and reading some of our conversations. Most likely over analyzing them. Having the thoughts of: “has she lost interest in me all of a sudden”, “is she seeing another guy?”, or “was I too needy or boring?” It’s close to the third day now that I haven’t heard from her, and the longest we haven’t texted eachother for. I am thinking about sending a casual text to her tomorrow saying: “Hey:)How are you doing?”, or “Hey, I was working on my car today, and found that green ducky that you gave me..It had me thinking of you :)” Something along those lines
    Any advice is welcome, and I would greatly appreciate it.

    Reply
  38. John

    Victor,
    I think you should be rather safe, given the situation you have just recounted. I think it should be fine to text her once more, just as long as you’re not needy. If let’s say, you have texted her 3 times in a single day without her replying, we have a problem. However, it is the case where you have waited for 3 days without her replying once. 2300 texts can’t go far off, really.

    John

    Reply
  39. Michelle

    I just stumbled upon this site. Here is a girl’s perspective: After texting and hearing no response, you should act unfazed by it. You’ve got other girls in the mix, hopefully, right? If you text again, “too busy to reply, are you?” it sounds like you were waiting by the phone for her response–i.e. a little bit desperate. If a girl digs you, she will reply the day she receives your text–unless her phone is charging, she’s lost it or she’s been in meetings all day at work. But if you really think that she’s ‘too busy for you’ or you want to give it one more shot, you can text her in a creative, funny or sarcastic way–to at least maintain your dignity. Example: Hey gorgeous! I assume because I haven’t heard from you, you were busy beating guys off with a stick. So, after you’ve kicked ass, let’s meet up for a post-battle drink ;)

    Reply
  40. Harry

    Hello Guys, ok im 21 year old guy who is fairly good looking. I’ve been shy all my life when it came to dating. But after being tired of being so lonely, I took a stand to it and started approaching girls and getting numbers. I’ve been quite well at getting numbers and having a great conversation with the ladies on the first time when i got her number. I always text them back after 2 or 3 days chatting with them and flirty convos. I seem to get good replies ..but when it comes to time when i asked them to HANG OUT, they dont respond back. WHY IS THAT?? I mean shouldn’t it be a fast dating thing to hang out within a week of getting the number. Definitely I felt the vibes that this one girl whose number i got from her while she was at work, really was interested in me. Asked me for my age and stuff, even texts me in the morning sometimes. BUT WHEN I ASKED HER TO HANG OUT, SHE DOESNT RESPOND BACK. PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS. THANKS.

    p.s I dont act needy with them.

    Reply
  41. Connor

    So, I really cannot judge whether she is being true or not. Sometimes she will text me all day nonstop even at work and then there are those days when she will barely text me back keeping in mind she is at work. But today i have tried to call her twice and texted her a couple times and she has yet to respond? The last thing i said to her was yourrreee boriinggg in a joking matter then i saw on facebook she was so annoyed she could cry right now but that was before i said that when she said that status. I hungout with her like 5 days ago, she always says Yes when i asked her too but 9 times out of ten we dont cuz she either forgets or falls asleep? Idk, help!!

    Reply
  42. Connor

    …too add, she thinks I’m funny. Like we have had deep conversations in person about certain topics but when she texts me it’s very simple in a sense? I really dont know what to do but do you think she could be playing me? She swears she sleeps allot and doesn’t do it on purpose blah blah blah

    Reply
  43. Isaac

    Hi,
    Im also in one of these horrible situations, Ill finally get the courage up to just forget her but it doesnt last long before im looking down at my phone again.

    I have known this girl for about seven years through a mutual friend but never really got to know her as we were both involved, anyway we had both been single for a year or so.

    We then met each other when we were at a concert with the mutual friend, we talked a little but that was about it, a couple days later she asked for my number from the mutual friend so she could text me to ask if i could do some electrical work for her, after that we just continued to text constantly, like twenty back and forth everyday about everything.

    She constantly said how i made her laugh and that she hadnt been this happy in years and basicly came on real strong, we finally met up twice in a week and things went really great, we slept together and she said she couldnt wait for more bedtime the next day.

    Then out of no where things took a turn, she said she had a meeting with her ex, the father of her child who she did nothing but complain about to me through our texts and that he said he wanted to have her back, she told me she would talk to me about it when i saw her next, this is where i screwed up and i realise it now.

    I should of just said okay no worries, instead i got all clingy and bugged her for answers, she broke off all contact with me for a few days, then sent a text saying she would never get back with him but also wanted a break from me because things went to fast and my clingyness freaked her out that sort of thing.

    I gave her, her space and after 3 days she texted saying hey how are you, i kept it light and we texted back and forth for a couple hours, then for two days nothing so i sent her a text and she seemed distant, then nothing for another couple of days, so i sent her another text, she was more receptive this time laughing at my jokes and stuff, then mid way through our texts she stopped replying, so its now been another 24 hours and nothing.

    Im so confused, should i just forget this girl or is there hope for me yet? Sorry for the huge comment.

    Reply
  44. Justin

    Hey guys, so I could really use some advice right now.

    There has been this one girl I have kept in touch with for two years now ever since she left the same college that I attend now and I am not gonna lie, I really do have a thing for her even after two years of just being really good friends with her. Every few days I would text her or she would text me first. It got to that point where I would call her every once in awhile but that was only if I texted her and asked her if I could call her. Recently, it got to that point where we started skyping each other too but again, it would always be me to ask to skype with her. We both live in the same state but we still live a great distance from each other (5 hours to be exact). After two years I finally got to see her again too because (about 4 weeks ago) she came down here with her family because her brother was moving in to a college that isn’t very far from where I live and it is funny too because my sister just started going to college now around where she lives. She wasn’t going to be in the area for too long so I knew I couldn’t hang out with her much but I was able to go to a baseball game with her but that was about it. We did have a great time that night and we did talk a lot and stuff instead of actually watching the game to be honest. She hugged me and we said our goodbyes to each other and she told me that we should definitely stay in touch. I told her too that if I was ever up in the area where she lived if I was going to visit my sister or something that we should hang out again and she agreed. After that night, we went back to our usual conversations through texts but I guess at this point, I was the one to initiate them every time because I guess at this point I am really falling for her now.

    So everything up to this point was going fine until recently about a week ago I texted her: “hey, how’s it going?” and I got no response. I sent another text later that night saying: “hey, hope we can catch up soon. I guess you probably may have been busy or just didn’t see my text I guess haha.” It has been a week now since I sent her those messages and she still never got back to me. She never did this to me before in the past and she would always get back to me on the same day. Should I be worried and text her again soon or maybe even give her a phone call even though I usually text her before I call her? Or should I just keep waiting for a text from her? These thoughts now are going through my head now for example: is she maybe done with me and is talking to some other guy now and doesn’t want to talk to me now? I really can’t figure out if I did anything wrong and I at least don’t want to lose her as a friend. Even though we live such a great distance apart, I can still see me having some kind of thing with her in the future too.

    Anybody have any thoughts/ideas for what I should do now?

    Thanks!

    Reply
  45. Justin

    I forgot to add too that the week before I sent her those two messages with no response, I sent her a simple message which said something like this. “Hey, how are? How is school and everything going?” I remember we text back in forth a few times and then I had asked her a question and she never responded to that question. So it is basically like three messages she didn’t respond to with one being a week ago after we talked for a few minutes and I asked her a question. I remember the question wasn’t bad or anything.

    Sorry for putting down so much but I thought I’d get in as much detail as possible. Could she really finally be over me now after two years or am I worrying about it too much?

    Reply
  46. nick las cruces,nm

    Ok so after reading all of this its clear to say that all women just wanna have fun. Get her happy just like every guy does. She will be easy I meant simple if you show her a good time. Make her laugh and show her that your smart but not a smart ass. The best bet for a guy is to date every women he see and you will never get your feelings hurt at all. Any women you meet will always date another guy behind your back. Like for example when your at work, with friends, or school. That’s just the way all women are. If she feels special to you that’s all on you buddie. If your girl only dates a few guys behind your back she is a good chick if she dates a lot behind your back she ain’t worth it. Well if you have any questions let me know.

    Reply
  47. Andy

    Hi John,

    Any advice you can give me on this would be cool!
    Met a girl a few weeks ago. She’s about 7 years younger than me and we’re both in our 20’s. Anyway we hit things off straight away and she was texting me again that same night and the next day. We ended up going out on 4 dates which she pretty much initiated herself each time so she certainly seemed keen. We had a blast on the dates and the attraction was there plenty of kissing, touching etc. So last week she heads back to University to finish her final year across the water. We both agreed to keeping in touch and she made sure we met up the night before she left. She’ll be back in my town in about 3 weeks. Anyway we had been texting back and forth the other night with good banter. She sends me a facebook request which I accepted. Saturday past I sent her a little text with reference to a statement she made on her facebook news feed…which she jokingly claimed to be homosexual. I sent something like “Oh so you’ve become gay?! I don’t generally have that effect on women!” Winking smile. Since that text i’ve heard nothing and that was two days ago. We’ve haven’t chatted to each other on facebook either. I not saying this girl is the be all and end all for me as I do have other options and I haven’t reacted at all to this yet. So how should I proceed if I wanted to break the ice again? Maybe im reading too much into the silly text I sent thinking I may have offended her? Do I just ignore it and ask her about her studies etc?

    Thanks
    Andy.

    Reply