Text Messaging – How to Stop Hoping and Waiting For Her Reply
It has been 15 minutes since you sent her a text. You just said that you had a great night last night, and asked when you would see her again. You have read it a couple of times after you sent it – was it any good? Could you have done better?
30 minutes passes. You have been checking your cell phone like a maniac. Why hasn’t she replied?!
45 minutes. Now you get all these wierd thoughts that, maybe she wasn’t that into you? But you vibed pretty well, didn’t you? What went wrong?
You start analyzing the evening for mistakes or clues. Nothing. Just a wait a minute! There was this awkward silence, and…
There is no point in continuing the story. You’re a smart guy, you get the point. I’m pretty sure you have been there, too. I know for sure that I have.
It’s a dark, dark place waiting for a text message reply. It downright sucks.
So what is there to do about it?
It’s about a change in mind
The simplest way to say it is this: Stop caring so much!
I know it can be hard. Really hard. But if you don’t want to walk around your whole life and just wait, it is absolutely crucial to learn it.
There will be hundreds of girls. She was just one of them.
This is the attitude you need to take on when you send a text message:
- I don’t really care if she replies to this message. It’s just a text, I’m just a guy, and she’s just a girl.
- It would be nice if she did reply, though, because I think she’s kind of cute and I would like to get to know her better.
- I have better things to do than sitting around and waiting. I have a life. There will be others.
- Now I’ll just live on and accept whatever the outcome may be.
So maybe she will reply. Maybe she never received the SMS. There are 1000 possibilities.
But in the end, it’s all about the amount of importance you lay on her reply. If it honestly doesn’t mean much to you, what’s the big deal?
Don’t check your phone all the time
Guys, this is huge! Try to really become “outcome independent” of your phone.
No, you don’t need to take it with you everywhere you go, just in case…
No, you didn’t just hear your phone. It was probably something else.
No, you don’t need to check it every 5 minutes. And just in case you actually got a SMS, what difference does it make if you don’t read it right away?
Just chill. That’s the basic lesson for today. Don’t take dating so god damn serious!
When to write again
If, after a day or two she still hasn’t replied, it may be time to send another text, just to give it another shot.
Try to not sound too needy. Something along the lines of this should work:
“Hey (girl/nickname), too busy to reply, are you?… That’s just too bad, since I think you’re cute and would like to see you again! :-)
This is not necessarily an example of a good text message, it is just an example. And it may not be your style at all, always remember to ‘be yourself’.
I know it’s old advice, but to be yourself means to be congruent and authentic. Two really important qualities.
What you want to achieve is just some kind of life signal from her side. Maybe she didn’t receive your first text, and in that case, it was a good idea to send her another one.
Maybe she just forgot about it or actually ignored it. If that’s the case, she may reply to this one.
If she doesn’t, is she really worth spending your time and energy on?
I think not.
If you want to, and she haven’t replied to your second SMS, you can send a third one after a week or something.
A sample could be this:
“Are you alive?”
If she doesn’t text you back after that message, I would just delete her number.
But that’s just me. It’s your call ;-)
Let us hear your stories on waiting for text messages (or calls, for that matter) in the comments.