Thanks Tuplad.

TKT, that’s fantastic. If everybody in the world realized this, I think everything would look quite different. Good job.

Thanks for your comments guys (and stay honest!)

That’s extremely insightful. Makes my situation seem like it’s nothing. I’m happy to see you came to realize all that. I feel like I really do need to literally yell to somehow how I feel about me and my ex. Maybe I’ll find someone to let me do that soon. :)

I’m sure I can speak for Alex when I say you’re on the right track. And everyone should be there with you.

Thanks for sharing your story man!

There is just too much stuff in there for me to address it all – I can just say yeah! I agree with every bit.

And that abandment disorder seems to be really fucking things up for a lot of people. Can I ask you, how did you get through it?

I guess you followed your own advice: Talk to SOMEONE. GET IT OUT!

Thank you for your comment Jacob. Really valuable stuff.

All the best and lots of love,
Alex

Great piece man. You’re exactly right. Being honest with yourself, and being confident is all about knowing who you are and knowing that you’re not perfect, but you keep striving to be better. I’ve read a lot of your posts and the one I keep coming back to is the one about getting over a lost girlfriend.

Mostly I read peoples stories that they posted and damn if some of them weren’t gut wrenchingly sad.

I’ve gone through it too. To make a long story…well, long…when I went through a terrible breakup, I completely lost my shit. I ended up having to move in with my parents two states away, give up my dogs, my apartment, life as it knew it….everything. It was all gone like that. I was jobless, broke, and all I had were a few clothes and a car payment I couldn’t make. My girl of three years started dating a doctor less than a month after I left. I had zero closure. We initially agreed to work things out, to fight for it, but I have come to find out that that was just a reason to get me out of the door. She lied, cheated, and it almost killed me.

I was so messed up and depressed, the words I use to describe it don’t really don’t do it justice. After a while I had decided enough was enough. I had read every blog and book about how to get your girlfriend back and getting over her. None of it worked. I couldn’t understand why I just couldn’t forget about a girl who was obviously not the person I thought she was. After doing some further research I found out that I have what’s known as Abandonment Disorder. It is real, and it can be really dangerous if not addressed. I think that’s what many guys (and girls) who can’t seem to get over a lost love. I would bet that a lot of the guys who commented after your “Getting over her” post have it too. Much of it has to do with never addressing the feelings that you’ve bottled up inside you for so long. Many people experience some sort of profound loss when they were a child and they kept it inside them. When you experience a loss as an adult, such as getting dumped by someone you love, all the fears and feelings you’ve hidden all you life come back all at once and knock you on your ass. It is ugly and no person should ever have to bear the grief and pain associated with abandonment, but unfortunately, many of us do.

It is important to be honest with yourself and express your feelings. People who are confident can do this. People who are insecure cannot. Only you can take ownership of your feelings and decisions, no one can do it for you. And, if you do that, it will help you out immensely through this thing called life. If you need to, buy a self help book, talk to friends, or even get professional help. A lot of people keep stuff bottled up inside them for way too long and have no idea why they feel bad and do things to self-sabotage themselves.

Sorry for the long comment Alex, had to write it.