but dammit, I dropped the ball with my gorgeous young Angelina Jolie clone through being too honest. For 90 minutes I was getting massive buying signals, she was super-qualifying herself to me, ‘Should I get a tan?’ (no!) ‘Should I dye my hair blonde?’ (No!) and then.. as we were arranging to see each other again (my sixth sense must have told me we were being CCTV’d – she’s only 17 and 3 months, so I didn’t kino her at all, even though she’s well legal where I live, and she had badboy’s (who she laughingly referred to as ‘perve & pervier and rapist – doesn’t realise how right she is!) hands all over her on holiday abroad a year ago.

I want so much for her to have a cosmic first experience and relationship (with me, obviously) the worry being that since she gets ribbed over her virginity at school (‘girls can be very cruel’ she told me) she, or her best friend, are gonna get her drunk unintenionally on purpose on holiday this summer and she’s gonna get copped by a guy who can’t control himself in the face of her extraordinary beauty. It seems to be what happens to them more than everything. She’s so scared of men, she told me, that I’m pretty sure the only way she’s gonna get got is by someone getting her soused. Not like I’m attached or anything ;) Nah, not at all.. I just have to trust God to look after her because she is *such* a precious little thing. It’s my fault. I severely dropped the ball and attraction dropped to zero. I told her I’m reticent (or too shy, I forget which) to ask girls for their number (trying to look a little vulnerable, in fact it’s a conscious strategy adopted from Brent Smith), I give them mine instead, but they don’t call because they are used to guys doing the chasing. She said, ‘yeah, calling guys is weird, you should start asking girls for their mumber’. Then realising I might ask her, she immediately got up and went to the water cooler. And she realised I’m not really a player, obviously I’m not getting chicks. She came back and said, ‘It was nice meeting you’. Hoping it wasn’t as over as it felt, I pushed slightly to get her to give me a time and day. But of course she didn’t show.

Damn! 90 minutes I was on it, things were going perfectly, and just one stupid mistake and I blew the whole deal. I got trapped in the conflict between radical honesty – which in this case didn’t serve me – and women’s biology and pscychology being attracted to guys who get a lot of women and are popular. It’s so counter-intuitive, because if she’d had a lot of guys it would have lowered her value in my eyes. It’s like we’re opposites in that respect.

I really should know by now. Years ago I walked home from a radio station with two students, close friends, holding their hands, messing with their fingers in my pockets. When we got to their hall, I can’t remember how I ended up with the one I did, but we were in bed, half undressed, and I somehow innocently let slip ‘It’s been a while’ (since I’d had sex). IMMEDIATELY it killed it. “Well you’re not taking your frustration out on me!” she said, and got up. Fortunately I was cool with it, but by god I should have learned a lesson from it. I can’t understand why cute, innocent (virgin) girls are attracted to guys who’ve been with hundreds of women. It certainly doesn’t happen the other way round for me. Still, that’s how it is.. so it’s about time I learned a lesson and went with it. Keep up the good work. GREAT Site.

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Ari
ari.me.uk