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Kissing A Girl for The First Time – When and How?

How to kiss a girl for the first time How to kiss a girl for the first time

This is something I have been getting quite a few questions on lately – how do you kiss a girl for the first time?

If you are in a hurry and just want a quick tip for your date tonight, skip the rest of the article. Seriously, just read and apply the following three words and you will be fine.

Just do it.

Good. Thanks for reading to those of you who are leaving, and a big welcome to the rest of you!

There are no rules

This is absolutely crucial. When it comes to dating (and kissing girls), no matter what any guru, dating expert or friend tells you, there are no rules.

Remember that rules are meant to be broken.

In dating, there are literally millions of factors and variables, so many that it would be impossible to have every theory work for everybody all the time. And that is why I tell you this.

There are no rules.

Now, when we have that out of the way, let us get on with the good stuff!

When we talk about kissing someone for the first time, only two variables are really important: When and How.

When to kiss her for the first time

As I said earlier, the best advice I can give you is to just do it.

Most of the time, you will get the kiss. If you don’t, well, now you know. Just try again later.

I really believe in learning by mistake. But if you learn from something, was it really a mistake? I don’t think so.


I guess you didn’t find this article just to get smacked in the head by a guy telling you to just do it.

So here are some general pointers on when to kiss her:

  • The best time to kiss a girl is when the sexual tension is at its peak point.
  • No sexual tension, on the other hand, is a bad sign. Dial up the attraction as much as possible.
  • Don’t wait till the end of the date. That is just cliché and unneccessary.
  • Kiss her at a romantic spot so she will remember “your first kiss”. Girls really digg that stuff, so keep it in mind.
  • Any kiss can be romantic though. It’s up to you.
  • Kiss her when she looks you in the eyes, looks at your lips, and looks back into your eyes. This is a major interest indicator.
  • You can also “feel” if she is ready to be kissed by pulling her close to you, and slowly moving your lips towards hers. What’s her reaction?

You can try to find all the signs of interest in the world before you kiss her, and test her in every single way. But the only way to really know if she’s ready to be kissed is to just do it.

How to kiss her for the first time

Ahh, kissing technique. A lovely subject indeed.

In my opinion, the best way to kiss a girl for the first time is to take it really slow.

If there has been a lot of tension dialed up, aka Ross and Rachel in Friends, sure! Go for it, Tiger.

Otherwise, just try to feel her. Get a sense of she is as a kisser.

Personally, I never bring in mr. Tongue. But that’s up to you. Nip her really gently on the lower lip. Look into her eyes. Smile. Kiss her again.

Just remember to take it slow.

If you would like to learn more kissing techniques, or read more about how to kiss girls, take a look at the following four articles:

I also recommend that you sign up for the free newsletter, where you’ll get a really good kissing article in a few days if you sign up now. It’s easy to subscribe (and unsubscribe), so why don’t you give it a try? ;-)

Share your views and stories on first-time kissing in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Get Your Ex Back

30 thoughts on “Kissing A Girl for The First Time – When and How?

  1. Mark

    Heya Alex! I could’ve used this advice, oh, a month ago! LOL It’s terrible when you’re a wet tongue kisser and your partner is a dry lip kisser. On Halloween I picked up a waitress who was THE best kisser I’ve experienced in quite some time – she was “the hungry type”, like she’s devouring your entire face. Eat a cheeseburger woman, not my face! Haha! Anyway, GREAT post (as always). And DEFINITELY read the other four articles, too, they are equally awesome.

    Cheers mate!

  2. Omar

    Hey Alex! Great post once again. I have def. noticed that thinking to much about the kiss just might screw it in the end.. If the chemistry is there and you feel it, move in and move in with Class. What’s the worst that could happen?

    Can’t wait for the next article


  3. apricot tea.

    “the best way to kiss a girl for the first time is to take it really slow.”

    Mhm! I concur. :] As a woman, I have to say that this advice is excellent! I only wish that my previous kissers would have read this & spared me the sloppy grossness. ;/

    Take notes, fellows. This guy knows what he’s talking about. =]

  4. Bonnie

    From a woman’s perspective, I agree with this advice. Take it slow indeed and don’t make assumptions. If you tune into your date and follow the body language and listen carefully, you will know if there is a green light.

  5. hamesh

    Hi Alex,
    I am all excited, more so after reading your blogs. I am meeting my girlfriend after a month for the new year. We have been dating online all these months. I need your help. She is russian. I am Indian. I want to take your advice on
    a) what can I give her as new year gift? She mentioned new year was more important for them than christmas.
    b) how would you suggest i ask her out to make it/doing it?
    c) how can i surprise her every day for the 6 days i spend with her?
    Do let me know your inputs, Alex. thanks

  6. Harry

    Hey i havebeen friends with this girl for about 3 years and i have realy strong fealings for her … i have only ever kissed her onthe forehead and i’m not sure if she liked it or not ..bu t i realy want a realationship with her what can i do?

  7. Kazals

    Dude you might want to add this (not the whole thing of course)
    Maybe its just a girl instinct but whenever I want to kiss my girlfriend(yes I’m a girl too. Deal with it.) I lick my lips and for some weird reason she knows exactly what I want. (She even said so) She even does the same thing. She licks her lips and it instantly makes me want to kiss her and I know she wants to kiss me. It’s weird. But guess it’s normal cuz a lot of my friends do that too. (When I was dating this guy I did that and he even knew what I wanted.) Double weird.
    Well ya I just thought you should know that.
    Thanks for the info. ^^

  8. Marc

    hey I’m in the same spot as roule. I met this girl and we have been going out with her for like 2 weeks. she has had expirience(not so good at spelling..)on kissing and I haven’t so can u give me some tips?

  9. Siya

    I just cant seem to kiss my g.F everytime i feel like its the correct time just when she looks at and says hi,men she’s so hot hot hot with the capital H

  10. Siya

    I just cant seem to kiss my g.F everytime i feel like its the correct time just when she looks at and says hi,men she’s so hot hot hot with the capital H

  11. ryan

    i know i really shouldnt be here at my age 13 but every yeaar it seems to be comning more and more necessary i just got asked out by a really hot girl and im a little low on the confidence side any help would be appreciated

  12. Bro-Guy

    @ryan, hey man no worries. I felt the same thing at your age… Well look at it this way; she may be hot, but is she nice to you? My last gf was super hot, but kinda rude (big turn-off) and I eventually broke up with her cuz of it. So just as her out or accept her ask you out or whatever when you two are doing something cool or exciting together. It always help to do it when you’re both trying something new together. EX: If you guys like rollercoasters, try it on a ride or something. That’s pretty exciting. Anyways, good luck!

  13. George

    Ah, thanks. Being shipped off to Afghanistan in the near future, and not exactly having enough time to take my girl friend on a date leaves me with only one option, to ‘just do it.’ ;) We’ve only known each other for approximately six months, and I don’t want her to exactly, well, fall in love with anyone else, so I decided a first kiss would be the best way to tell her to wait for me. :) Thanks for all of your help, Mr. Kay–it’s been greatly appreciated.

    -George P, US Army, 7th Infantry Division

  14. alec

    i know im pretty young and i have a girlfriend and we have been going out for a while im just wondering how i know if she is ready for a kiss

  15. Dhruv Bhagat

    All you need to be alone when you are kissing a girl for the first time.. Also, you need to talk about things to make her feel comfortable… Don’t forget to choose a place with a romantic atmosphere ;)