I am in almost the exact same situation. Any luck?

I think the key is really to just start living your life and if she chooses to contact you again with the possibility of re-entering her life you take her up on it. Obviously she won’t call you up and say just that… but if enough time has passed and she has been thinking about you, she will let you know somehow. Unfortunately I don’t think there is anyway to “bait” her. I have thought often about writing my ex and whenever I do the email always starts looking so sappy and forelorn. I mean to tell her how much she means to me but it just doesn’t come out right, and thankfully I don’t send them. Now she is somewhere on the west coast and I’m doing my best to just leave her be. Should our paths ever cross again I will certainly do my best to not repeat the mistakes of the past. I think this is good advice for you too. Don’t try to impede on her journey, she’ll respect you all the more in the end.

Good luck, godspeed

My gf broke up with me month and half ago and since then I’ve been feeling like a complete shit. And I have good reasons for that, I fucked it up, badly. She was my first serious gf, and we were together for 9 months. From the beginning we ‘clicked’ she was/is amazing, different from other girls I know. She loved me, hell, maybe she still does. I just took her for granted and stopped paying attention to her, i thought that I would never loose her. I made her cry 3 times, honestly, over such a stupid bullshit I cant even understand why i did it, but we always patch things up with me saying that I’m sorry and shit but I kept doing it after all. And finally, we went out with my friends and had a blast, went out for a smoke and when I got back she was sitting all by herself, sad, mad who knows. I asked her ‘wat’s up?’ and all that caring stuff you suppose to say. she didn’t say much, and started texting, so finally I told her ‘ok, lets go home’ and she said that her sister or her best friend(he’s a guy and she knows him since middle school, btw, i hate that muthafucka) so i went lil overboard and said ‘why r u doing this to me? and shit went downhill from there, she started crying, I apologized and we went outside, tried talking to her but I got nothing. After 5 min her sis picks her up and she leaves. I went home, pissed at myself cuz I knew I shouldnt have say that. For next couple of days I got the silent treatment, and then finally I got a text ‘hey, we gotta to talk’ I bought flowers and went over to her house, she came out and was crying from the beginning so we sat in my car(we used to just chill in my car, listen to music, drink red bulls or monsters and talk for hours) Well sat there for almost 3 hours, she was crying throughout, shit I admit I shed a tear to cuz I knew something was up. I apologized, told her how I feel about her and all. She didn’t say much. So she gets up and i told her once more ‘i’m sorry’ and went home. I’m pulling in my driveway and I hear my cell buzzing, it was a text from her, before reading I was like shit, we all good:). But after reading that text I felt like I’m about to die, here’s the text msg from her: “hey, I love u and thats way i couldnt say it to ur face, but i dont think this is gonna work out. sorry i need some time” Well that was a shocker to say the least, and i started texting back ‘why” and all that shit you do when that crap sets in, said sorry many times, promised to change and all the stuff you say when you’re about loose something you care about. after couple of days she started texting me back but like she had her mind set up at treating me as her ‘friend’ and that she has moved on. I told her how i feel about her and said that i will make the changes in me that led to this and hopefully she will be able to see that. I really mean this. I got nothing, for past 2 weeks. I see her once/twice a week at college but she acts shy around me. I know she is stubborn as fuck and would have problems admitting how she truly feels, she even said that after the break up. I really don’t know what I want from you guys, advise on winning her back or advise on moving on with my life. I know I acted like a complete schmuck and idiot, and those are the things I cant /don’t know how to deal with. Besides from that I do care about her.

You seem like you have a good idea of what to do and what not to do in terms of winning an ex back and I’m wondering if you can help evaluate my situation for any possible ways to get her back.

I made all the wrong moves by being needy after my ex broke my heart 3 months ago–we were together for 3 years and she even transferred to a college nearby to be with me. She had just graduated college when this happened and had always talked about moving (we’re from the same city) like it was her primary focus in life. This was the cause of our breakup because I couldn’t move at the time and I didn’t want to believe she would really do it and leave me so I put off the conversation. I had a chance at getting her back this past summer after she had moved to another city nearby and I went to visit her for one weekend. Things went great and we had some fun, I think because she could see that I can still go out and have fun talking to her friends etc (not being needy). Before I left she had told me she wanted to “work it out” but I guess I nagged her too much and ended up driving her further away. I contacted her too much and ruined the mystery. She also told me that she slept with someone else since our breakup (within a week of it actually) and I was constantly bringing that up.

She now lives on the other side of the country. Our last meeting went poorly and she left on bad terms, which occurred because every time we talked–even if they were going smoothly for a while, I kept on reverting back to the “needy” guy who wanted her back (I know I shouldn’t have). So we hadn’t spoken for over two months until a couple weeks ago when I got the courage to text her on her favorite holiday (halloween) and I kept it casual about how I hoped she enjoyed her weekend and what she was going to dress as. She was friendly and asked me about life. I had hoped that this would lead to an initiated conversation by her, but no luck so far. She had said she wanted to be friends, I obviously just want to win her back, but I figure the friends angle is a good start. Any ideas on what else I can do to get her interested again, even from across the country? How do I keep the lines of communication open and keep myself interesting enough to her that she will want to talk to me? I need bait!

We were supposed to move out to another place in three weeks. Now I have three weeks to find somewhere else. It’s also my birthay in a week, and I found out my uncle has cancer yesterday. Has just been the worst week ever.

We’re trying to be friends – as we were friends well before the relationship started. I feel really good too when we are together being friendly, feels normal and I have no illusion as to getting back together with her – chances are its not going to happen.

What’s hard is I havent dreamed in the 5 years we were together, and now – even if I sleep for just 20 minutes, I dream of us back together – or of me begging her to take me back. I obviously don’t want to do this, but I’m just waking up really confused – and with everything else going on – she’s the only one I can talk to.

If it weren’t for the dreams, I think I would be fine. I am still in love with her, but every day that gets better. I know she still loves me as a friend and I am OK with that. Just these dreams are messing me up. I don’t know if I can handle losing my girldriend and my best friend in the same week. Please help!