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How To Tackle A Blind Date

"How do I tackle a blind date?" "How do I tackle a blind date?"

A dating question from a reader:

Steve needs some advice for his date sunday:

“Hi Alex, First of all, great site – I absolutely enjoy reading every new post. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Here’s my question: I’m going on a date Sunday, and I’m way more nervous than usual. I think it’s mostly because I’ve never even seen the girl in person before – a mutual friend set us up on the date – I’ve only seen pictures of her.

Usually I’ve met the girl before so I know we have some type of connection/common interest, etc. With this girl I have no idea what she’ll be like. Any advice or tips?” Thanks man! – Steve

How to tackle a blind date

All right Steve, for once I can’t speak from my own experiences. I have never been on a blind date in my life.

But I have been on “regular” dates before, and for what I know, the difference isn’t that big.

But I made a few phone calls, and one of my close friends has been on one just recently. Everything went really smooth for him, and he told me that he’s still seeing the girl.

I asked him for some tips on how he handled it, and here we go:

First of all, as with everything, you have to have the right mindset.

You write in your e-mail that you usually have some kind of connection to a girl before you go on a date with her.

You already have two connections; your mutual friend, and the fact that you have been “set up” by her. I assume that your friend is a girl.

She has already “validated” both of you! Think about it, that’s a better start than most guys gets on most dates.

And you also have one common interest; that is to meet each other! And how great isn’t that? You’re both “interested”.

Not knowing “what she’ll be like” is actually a pretty good thing; you could say that you start at ground zero.

Since there are no expectations, you should actually be more comfortable than at a “regular date”, where you will both be “coloured” a little by your last interaction, whether it was by phone or in person.

This is really good news.

So after all my babble, you can conclude that you have not one, but two connections, and that you have a common interest and that is to meet each other. Fantastic.

Onto the date:

I think I have said this before, but I’ll say it again.

Don’t treat a date like a job interview!

That means you:

  • Shouldn’t be wearing clothes that are not “you”. You should be 100% comfortable in your clothes. A shirt only looks as good as you wear it, so if you’re not used to wear shirts, a t-shirt is fine.
  • Shouldn’t ask her all kind of boring questions. More on the subject of boring here.
  • Be overly nervous. I know this is hard. But try to relax. Speak slowly, and pause between words to create suspense for her, and to give yourself time to think about what to say.
  • Be interesting. (Read: Don’t be boring) You shouldn’t be afraid to say something to upset her a little bit, or make her laugh. You have nothing to lose, and being boring is the absolute worst thing you can do.
  • Have an exit plan. It’s so much better to meet over coffee for a first date, than to do the whole “dinner and a movie” approach. It’s expensive, and if you just don’t feel it for each other, it can also be extremely awkward.
  • When you meet, be sure to make her comfortable right at the beginning by introducing yourself with an open hand, and by saying your name out clear. This is really “standard procedure”, but shaking hands really helps with getting her comfortable around you.

So to wrap it up, this is one way to go about a blind date:

Right from the point where you walk out the door, be confident that she is a good girl that is interested in you. And to get the right look in your eyes, have the mentality that she actually thinks you’re pretty sexy, too.

When you meet her, you meet her at a local café or Starbucks. You wear comfortable clothes, and you greet her by shaking hands.

You don’t talk about or ask her boring stuff; instead you start of by asking her something like this:

“So, do you often have a hard time finding a sexy man like me, without using your friends?”

Of course, this shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it’s a great way to ease the tension a bit.

You could also ask her more casually if she often goes on blind dates, and if she does, you could ask her something like “What’s the worst man you have found dating like this? Everybody has a story about that creepy guy that wouldn’t stop following them…”

This could also be supplied by you looking suspicious in a fun way, like that “creep” was you. Quickly looking from left to right, and back again a few times is almost guaranteed to make her laugh.

Again, making a little fun of yourself is a great way to ease the natural tension between you, making room for a much better date.

The rest is up to you; just remember the number 1 rule:

Have fun!

If you manage to have fun, I think everything will be fine.

Good luck man,
Alex

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16 thoughts on “How To Tackle A Blind Date

  1. Mwangi

    My first girlfriend ever was through a blind date and one can actually make an argument that the blind date is the best date of all.
    Why you might ask?
    1) Both people are being connected through someone who has their best interests at heart a.k.a. she is doing this to bring pleasure to both you and the girl.
    2) Probably set up the date because she thought that ‘you in your natural, comfortable, no BS state’ had things in common with her in her no BS wakeup-with-no-makeup state. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? Much more than when you meet someone randomly you have licence to be yourself because after all:
    3) If you run out of conversation, you can always go back to making fun of your friend and creating your own little inside joke about your friend.
    Go out and enjoy it man. My blind date was chosen cause she yapped none stop 24/7 like me and we hit it off for a good year or so.

    Have a gr8 date and we are all eager to hear how it all turns out

    Reply
  2. Alex Kay

    I can’t wait Steve!

    And thank you Christian.

    Mwangi: I think that you nailed it (again). I don’t say this too often, but I completely agree with you.

    Creating an inside joke is great, I’ll remember that if I’m ever going on a blind date.

    Cute story about your girlfriend too – thanks for your comment mate!

    Reply
  3. Ryan

    Great article. I liked the fun banter about being a creeper, good advice all around. It’s great to get them laughing because they are probably more nervous than you.

    Reply
  4. Alex Kay

    Hey Ryan,

    Thanks man! I think you’re right, “breaking the ice” with laughter is really crucial to get a great blind date. And I agree also that the girls are often just as – or more – nervous than the guys. They just hide it better.

    Thanks for your comment.

    Reply
  5. JEMi

    now that I think about it.. I’ve never been on a blind date. (wait – does online dating kind of count?)

    but your tips are useful and make sense even though – yes – I’m a woman on your man site :-P

    To underscore what you said about creating jokes to lighten up the atmosphere –

    I would say not being uptight and being able to smile is critical – at least to me. It’s the worst thing when you’re out with someone who just doesn’t contribute to a positive, pleasant atmosphere. That’s when I would mentally kick myself as I secretly long for some ice cream and Soaps instead of wasting an evening with someone.

    ..

    Great post lol :)

    Reply
  6. Alex Kay

    Hey JEMi,

    I guess that online dating “kind of” counts. On one side, you have never met. But on the other, it’s you who sets up the date. So I guess it’s hard to say.

    And haha, I just love it when women comes here. Just like men who reads cosmo to learn how to women thinks, this blog is great for women to see how men thinks.

    Yes, you shouldn’t even have 1 second to think about something else than the men besides or in front of you. When you begin thinking about getting home etc. I would say the date is over. But if you have a great stimulating (and fun) conversation, no one wants to go home!

    Thanks for your comment, I really get your point, and totally agree :)

    Alex

    Reply
  7. Jason

    I’ve been on a decent number of blind dates and I’ve found the quality of the date really depends on who’s hooking your up, so have an exit plan ready just in case.

    Usually, if you are a guy and one of your guy friends is hooking you up, it’s because the girl is quality and he just can’t date her for whatever reason. Maybe he’s married, got a girlfriend, or just can’t get her.

    If you’re a guy and a girl is hooking you up… different story. The girl’s loyalties usually belong to her girlfriend, and she may be just trying to help out a friend who can’t find a date, and you are just part of the equation. Sometimes a girl introduces you to a cool girl though.

    Hope the blind date goes well.

    Reply
  8. Zubif

    great work Alex!keep it up.i’m about to go on a blind date.i saw her picture at my friends house and he said i should call her and ask her out.i dont talk often wit her phone but i send her text msgs which she does not always reply coz she thinks it’s awkward talking to smb she has not even seen .so she suggested we shld see in 2 months time but doesnt want to talk much till then.how do i go about d date not minding d timing

    Reply
  9. Alex

    Jason, you’re right.

    Sometimes the girl introduces you to a cool girl. Sometimes they don’t. Ain’t that the magic of it all :)

    Zubif,

    just follow the advice in this post, and generally read some posts and comments around the site.

    Good luck!

    Reply
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  11. Suzi

    Honestly, both “jokes” you mention are really bad – so bad that at first I thought that advice was meant as a joke. I would find a guy who said something like that pretty boring.

    Reply