How To Tackle A Blind Date
Steve needs some advice for his date sunday:
“Hi Alex, First of all, great site – I absolutely enjoy reading every new post. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Here’s my question: I’m going on a date Sunday, and I’m way more nervous than usual. I think it’s mostly because I’ve never even seen the girl in person before – a mutual friend set us up on the date – I’ve only seen pictures of her.
Usually I’ve met the girl before so I know we have some type of connection/common interest, etc. With this girl I have no idea what she’ll be like. Any advice or tips?” Thanks man! – Steve
How to tackle a blind date
All right Steve, for once I can’t speak from my own experiences. I have never been on a blind date in my life.
But I have been on “regular” dates before, and for what I know, the difference isn’t that big.
But I made a few phone calls, and one of my close friends has been on one just recently. Everything went really smooth for him, and he told me that he’s still seeing the girl.
I asked him for some tips on how he handled it, and here we go:
First of all, as with everything, you have to have the right mindset.
You write in your e-mail that you usually have some kind of connection to a girl before you go on a date with her.
You already have two connections; your mutual friend, and the fact that you have been “set up” by her. I assume that your friend is a girl.
She has already “validated” both of you! Think about it, that’s a better start than most guys gets on most dates.
And you also have one common interest; that is to meet each other! And how great isn’t that? You’re both “interested”.
Not knowing “what she’ll be like” is actually a pretty good thing; you could say that you start at ground zero.
Since there are no expectations, you should actually be more comfortable than at a “regular date”, where you will both be “coloured” a little by your last interaction, whether it was by phone or in person.
This is really good news.
So after all my babble, you can conclude that you have not one, but two connections, and that you have a common interest and that is to meet each other. Fantastic.
Onto the date:
I think I have said this before, but I’ll say it again.
Don’t treat a date like a job interview!
That means you:
- Shouldn’t be wearing clothes that are not “you”. You should be 100% comfortable in your clothes. A shirt only looks as good as you wear it, so if you’re not used to wear shirts, a t-shirt is fine.
- Shouldn’t ask her all kind of boring questions. More on the subject of boring here.
- Be overly nervous. I know this is hard. But try to relax. Speak slowly, and pause between words to create suspense for her, and to give yourself time to think about what to say.
- Be interesting. (Read: Don’t be boring) You shouldn’t be afraid to say something to upset her a little bit, or make her laugh. You have nothing to lose, and being boring is the absolute worst thing you can do.
- Have an exit plan. It’s so much better to meet over coffee for a first date, than to do the whole “dinner and a movie” approach. It’s expensive, and if you just don’t feel it for each other, it can also be extremely awkward.
- When you meet, be sure to make her comfortable right at the beginning by introducing yourself with an open hand, and by saying your name out clear. This is really “standard procedure”, but shaking hands really helps with getting her comfortable around you.
So to wrap it up, this is one way to go about a blind date:
Right from the point where you walk out the door, be confident that she is a good girl that is interested in you. And to get the right look in your eyes, have the mentality that she actually thinks you’re pretty sexy, too.
When you meet her, you meet her at a local café or Starbucks. You wear comfortable clothes, and you greet her by shaking hands.
You don’t talk about or ask her boring stuff; instead you start of by asking her something like this:
“So, do you often have a hard time finding a sexy man like me, without using your friends?”
Of course, this shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it’s a great way to ease the tension a bit.
You could also ask her more casually if she often goes on blind dates, and if she does, you could ask her something like “What’s the worst man you have found dating like this? Everybody has a story about that creepy guy that wouldn’t stop following them…”
This could also be supplied by you looking suspicious in a fun way, like that “creep” was you. Quickly looking from left to right, and back again a few times is almost guaranteed to make her laugh.
Again, making a little fun of yourself is a great way to ease the natural tension between you, making room for a much better date.
The rest is up to you; just remember the number 1 rule:
If you manage to have fun, I think everything will be fine.
Good luck man,
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