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How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend

"How do I get over my ex girlfriend?" "How do I get over my ex girlfriend?"

This is the number one question I get asked most of the time – right after the question on how to win her back.

And it’s difficult to answer. How do you get over your ex girlfriend?

I guess that we have all been there at some point in our lives.

Relationship starts. Everything’s good. Suddenly, everything isn’t so good. And you break up. That’s life!

I have had my share of it, so I speak from experience here.

You have probably shared lots of good times, and now it’s gone.

No more holding hands, no more crawling in close when it’s cold outside, no more kisses under the moonlight, no more anything.

For some it’s easier to accept than others. But I don’t think anyone like breaking up.

For the first few days, after realizing the truth, you feel pretty awful. This is definitely the worst part of a break up, and also the part that defines your emotions for the next couple of weeks.

love through fence

So how do you go about handling a break up?

As thoughts are really hard to control, I’ll give you a “timeline” for your emotions.

I know it might sound a little strange, but it’s how I personally handle the break up, and for that reason, I figure it might be useful for some people.

Here we go:

The first few days I cry my heart out. I let out all of my negative feelings, and do almost nothing more all day than to “think about her”. Whenever I try to slip in a positive thought, I’ll disregard it right away. It’s my privelege to be sad just a few days a year, I’ll explain why later on.

What’s really important in this phase is that you don’t talk to anyone about the break up. At least not more than something like “we’re not together anymore”.

Another really important thing to do is to stop listening to love songs. Because it’s like drinking viagra tablets and not having sex. At this point, you will most likely identify with them, and I know from experience that this can really f**k up your emotions later on.

So just let yourself be as sad as you can, without talking to anyone, and without getting feelings from anyone else than yourself.

Afterwards, if you have followed my advice, you should almost be sick thinking about her. 3 days might not be a long time in a calendar, but in your head, it will almost feel like it’s ages ago you broke up.

You will start realizing that she wasn’t “the one” for you, and that you have your whole life waiting, along with millions of cute girls.

Over the next few weeks, you might have some reoccurring thoughts about her. That’s fine. As long as you realize how bad she was for you, and that you’re not going to get back together.

I think this is the part most guys do wrong. They keep thinking they can get back together, and this makes it incredibly hard to move on.

For a couple of days, try to just “get on with it”. Don’t spend time thinking about her, just live your life like you always have.

After a week or two, you’ll see that you do fantastic without her. You might not be completely “over her”, but you’re definitely on the right path to getting so.

Personally, after about 2-3 weeks, I completely stop thinking about her. Well, not completely, she’s still “my ex”, but I’m by no means sad about the fact that we’re not together anymore.

Soon, I’ll meet another girl, twice as nice, and it’s all uphill from here with happiness. Until we break up.

Life’s strange isn’t it?

walking alone

General tips on handling the break up

  • Stop stroking the banana fantasizing about her. It’s just wrong… AND it tightens your emotional bonds to her. Not good man!
  • You’d be amazed what kissing a new girl can do. Start meeting new people as soon as possible.
  • Accept that she wasn’t the one. She was just a girl, whatever your brain might tell you. You have a “her” hole in your stomach right now, and you probably think that only she can fill it. But what the hole really is is just a woman shaped hole, and any women can fill it.
  • Take control of the situation. Don’t let her define your feelings, only you can do that.
  • Start living again. After feeling down for a few days, a week, or maybe more, start living again. If you have always wanted to start playing tennis, now is the time to do it. Or start playing guitar, or start painting. Anything will work, just gain some kind of new passion, or relive an old one.

Why it’s important to be sad at first

This might not work for everyone, but I can only conclude stuff from my own experience, so that’s what I’m going to do.

The reason I choose to be sad at first, is to take control. It’s my choice to cry, she has nothing to do with it. Not directly, anyway.

In my opinion it’s really bad to try to run from your feelings, because you will feel sad. Best just to admit it and let it out.

After those few days, you will also realize that someone that made you so sad, wasn’t right for you. This is also important.

So now to wrap it up, I would like to know one thing.

How do you get over an ex girlfriend / handle a break up?

Let’s start a discussion here!

UPDATE: There are A LOT of comments on this post. A lot of them includes fantastic tips for getting over your girl. I highly recommend reading as many as you can to get a general feel.

Something that has helped a lot of guys here is to simple get on with your life. START HERE. Download the EBOOK REVIEWED HERE.

I highly encourage you to check out my book called “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution”. It includes everything you ever wanted to know about getting over your ex and moving on with your life. It takes you right from the break-up to your new relationship, and it answers all the questions I get all the time like “what to do if she wants to be friends”, “how to avoid being distracted by thoughts about her”, “how to fall asleep when I miss her” etc… Read more about it here!

Interested in more tips on dating and relationships? Subscribe for free to my RSS Feed to get them before your neightbour!

Lovely images by lizzie vengeance.

Get Your Ex Back

5,988 thoughts on “How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend

  1. flyingcircus

    broke no contact yesterday with the old “merry christmas _____”
    got an immediate response of “merry christmas, andrew”
    whats the deal with that comma??????
    is that supposed to mean something????????
    does the fact she responded right away mean something???
    does the fact that she even responded mean anything?????
    that has to be a spot on example of why no contact is so important
    i cannot stop analyzing that message
    so dumb, i know
    what can i say

    hope everyone’s doing well out there

  2. Romeo

    And she was my Juliet, my Allie…

    I know what you mean, I was with someone for three wonderful years. Although I knew in my heart that I was with who I was meant to grow old with, She didn’t. She left when things got a little hard. I was so in love with her. Maybe I still am. We had a rough year, that last one. and while we had our issues, I knew if she would just give it a chance we would still be together.

    I did what I was suppose to do. Gym, Keep Busy, See friends and family. Take up new hobbies. I even dated a few incredible women. And perhaps I may have found other potentials. But in my heart, I always knew she was the one. And everyone I met after her will never compare to what we shared nor what she gave to me. That was 4 years ago. I still think of her. Especially when I am alone. I always wonder what she is doing and who she is with or if she even thinks of me.

    A year ago, we started dialogue, At first it was just to know how the other was doing. she finally confessed the mistake that she made by leaving the relationship. And I also confessed that she was always in my heart. But life turned us in different directions. And I was moved out of state by company. She chose to keep moving on and even though she also felt the same way as I did, A long distant relationship was not conducive to her trust issues.

    She choose to move on and out of frustration, I did the same. Even though I knew in my heart one day I would be back in the same city and i knew if not by choice, that fate would probably bring us together one day. Or so I hoped…

    I am now in the same city she is in. Not but a few weeks ago, I found out that she is living with her new fiance. And the wound grows deeper and wider. Regardless of how many times we tried to make it work. We just kept finding ourselves with too much pride and pain to keep trying. And now, the worst thing I could do is to try to step into her life now. Now that she is engaged to be married and what seems like a good relationship for her. I don’t want to be selfish and potentially have her hate me for walking into her life again. What could be worse, is that she tells me that she is moved on and happy in her new relationship. I truly want her to be happy. Instead, I am here sharing my story with you mooks!

    Its been 4 years! I have a feeling this is never going to go away. That she will always be with me. Haunting my life and my heart.

    My advice, If you find someone that you KNOW you are in love with even though you have your issues in the relationship.Do not let pride ruin your chances to share a life with someone you are in love with. Its far better to be with someone you are in love with even though she can be a pain in the ass sometimes. When you love someone you fight for them. And you don’t ever give up. Ever! As long as the relationship is not abusive or co-dependent you need to not give up. All problems have solutions. All relationships have its ups and downs. They all do.

    Good Luck Romeos!

  3. Mr B

    Hi guys, I´ve been reading so many of these posts and it helped me a lot.

    I need your help guys!

    My story:
    We´ve been together for 2 years, it was amazing. The first 1,5 year was truely great and we both knew that this was the “real deal” and if you asked me 3 months ago I would be so sure that we would get marry, we had it all planned out. I´m 26 btw, she is soon to turn 25.

    We did a big mistake by getting a dog 9 months ago, and because of that we started to hang a lot at home, to much. Everyday became a routine, sleep, work, eat, dog, tv, sleep. The summer was bad, because we werent able to go anywhere, and after that things starting going bad, but I did not see how bad…

    I know things wasn´t going great, but my thought was “it will go up and down” and “we don´t have to work for out relationship, we are ment2be”… What a big mistake.

    In oktober she told me she was being unsure about things, something was missing, she was worried that the lack of passion would kill us in the future, but she said she still got a lot of feelings for me, but she was unsure.

    I was able to keep my cool, and said that I belive we can fix it, because we have an “eksternal” problem, since we have been spending so much time together, and bored the hell out of our selv. We agreed to be more social, going out, inviting friends over and having fun again.

    I gave a short positive effect, but days later we were back to square one. After going on like this for 2 weeks with ups and downs we agreed to take a break where she would move out for 1,5 week to sort out her mind, we agreed that during this pause we could do whatever we wanted (sex with others. don`t ask, don`t tell).

    After 4 days she came back, said that this had really helped and she loved me so much, for that day we were really in love again like when we met, but we kept to the plan. Again, it went up and down, and after returing after 1,5 week she was still uncertain.

    I started being a little desperate, and tried to show my love, but as you know, the more I pushed, the more she pulled away. After 1 week I sat down with here and said “I can´t take this anymore”. I gave her 2 alternatives.
    1. We fight for this, but I need you to go 100%
    2. Its over

    After 15 minutes I asked her what she thought, and she said she wanted to fight for us, but was not able to go 100%, because of her unsecurety. I told her that I can´t be with someone who does not know if she loves me, so we have to break up.

    We cried out eyes out for 1 hour, having a really emotional time. After 2 days the “mind games” started. I´ve been talking to here while she was packing (she lived at my place)and being polite, nice and not needy in any way. I gave her a hug when she moved, and the only needy thing I did was to ask her 1 week after the break if she felt we did the right thing, the reply was “yes, it feels right”.

    I´ve been keeping NC since then, its been 2 weeks since she moved out, but 1 month since the break.

    She sent me a SMS on christmas eve, i replied “happy christmas” back but nothing more. I´m planning to keep NC.

    But I´m really struggling, this is so hard, I thought she was the love of my life, and i´m really kicking my self for not seeing the signs. I should have been the “leader” when things we getting boring and stuff, but I did not.

    There is so much things I wish I did 6 months ago, but I took her for granted, and did nothing… and the boringness killed her attraction for me.

    I´m going to meet her i january to get some stuff, and sign some papers but I´m really not sure what I´m gonna do. I really want to open my heart and say that I know I fucked up by being to passive, and not taking control when I should have.

    It just seems like we fucked up what could been a really great relationship if is hadn´t been for these situations (dog, to much around eachother, me being a wuss, letting her take control, showing some of my insecureties).

    What do you think I should do when we meet up? I know that she is struggling as much as I am, during the break up she cried her heart out, and was devestated for days, and said she had a really hard time forgiving her self for loosing her feelings and messing it up. She said I was the best person in the world and it would be so much easier to get over this if I were a jerk.

    She was getting colder and colder after the break up, so I have no clue what state of mind she is going to be in january, but I guess she will be smiling and acting like nothing.

    What shall I do guys?
    – Go NC all the way, and make her find me if she wants me back?
    – Tell her I know I fucked up, and i´m sorry for it
    – Ask her for some kind of closure?
    – Be cocky\funny when we meet up, act like nothing and walk away and go NC?

    Help guys!

  4. RJ

    – well Mr. B, if you truly want her back then tell her youd like to try again if she is 100% in and willing. If not then you have your closure (she doesnt want you) and peace of mind that you did try. But don’t let her do the well try, in moanese that means, “sure, until I find someone else”. Keep us posted bro. I am about to break up with my girl of 2 years so Ive been reading this to prep myself.

  5. J

    Unbelievable that this website is still going strong. I was on here 3 years ago when I went through an awful break up. I am back after a new one. This is a great place where you can realize you are not alone.

    Everyone gets hurt, I personally need to work on being less co-dependent and be able to be happy with myself. A girl is only a bonus not a necessity.

    I have been dating this girl for 3 months and everything was going great. We were becoming closer and closer. Then the holidays just came and I started to feel some distance from her. But I decided to not mention in sake of not coming off too needy and clingy. She then went up to San Fransisco to visit her father for a week. In the course of that week she did not reach out to me once. 4 days went bye without speaking which was strange considering we talked at least once a day before the trip.

    I finally texted her, “thinking of you, call me” We talked that night and things seemed okay. Made plans for the upcoming week. Then New Years came and she had plans with her gf’s even before we started dating, so I was fine with it. 12 p.m. strikes not a peep from her not a call nothing. I don’t know whether to take this is a sign that something is not right or she is just pre-occupied with the holidays and friends.

    Either way I am not okay with being treated this way. I dont care how busy you are. If you are with someone you care about then you MAKE TIME. Which clearly I was not. Would love your guys thoughts….


    Stay Strong Fellas

  6. A guy who was here in 2009

    Holy cow, I am surprised this blog post is still going strong. A friend of mine recently went through a break up so that reminded me of this blog. I remember ranting on here about how much of a slut my ex-girlfriend of three years was haha. I’ve matured a lot since then, and met my current girlfriend a year after I decided to leave my ex. I’m happy and my current girlfriend is truly a blessing so guys, I am here to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Stay strong and be patient! Oh, if she cheated on you, DO NOT THINK TWICE, LEAVE THAT HOE! DO NOT TAKE HER BACK UNLESS YOU WANT HER TO CHEAT ON YOU AGAIN. I’ve warned you. :)

    To J –

    My ex did the exact same thing. It could be a sign that she is becoming disinterested in the relationship. That happened to me on occasion with my ex until she decided to cheat. Think about it, the girl you’re dating couldn’t take a minute out to give you a quick call or a simple text on new years. Something is clearly not right there. This might not be true in your case, but you need to definitely be aware that this is one of those negative “signs” in a relationship. Try to resolve it now, before you become too emotionally invested. Don’t be the guy that is just in the background of her life. Good luck my man.

  7. Mr B

    Thanks guys, a little update from me:
    Nothing new yet, havent contacted her in any way. She did send me a SMS on new years eve saying “happy new year, hope you are having a good time, big hug” I replied after 1,5 hour saying “thanks, the same” then NC again.

    I`m going to meet her next week to get some things and do some formal stuff, no clue how to approach it, but think I´ll go with a cocky\funny approach and do nothing to be honest, I tried so many things before the break up so EVERYONE who has heard my store say the same thing “dude, you gave it your everything, if she want to fix it SHE will need to make an effort, not you”. Hope I´ll can keep my emotions in balance and don´t do anything stupid that will push her further away.

    The pain comes in waves, some days i´m positive, some days are tough as hell, and yeah… They even make my cry but its ok (as long as no one sees me:) )

    I think you need to let this girl go for a while, give her the chance of missing you, and after some days she will be thinking about you again and where she has you, trust me on this.

    The best thing you can do when you chasing a girl is to take two step back and make her come back, its wierd woman psykology. If she doesnt´t come back, she never would anyway.

    And a last thing, NEVER try to convince girls with logic. Its like negotiate with taliban, it just don´t work that way…

    I´m going back to basic, with reading “David DeAngelo – Double your dating” again, the best book out there, and eventually i´ll find a new girl to fall in love with.

    Stay strong fellas!

  8. Feeling guilty

    I was with my gf for over 3 years, there were several instances throughout the releationship that I felt as though control was taken away (didn’t really discuss moving in with me, just happened and she gave up her own place without telling me)In the beginning I had a good job and steady income, so everything was smooth. Unfortunately after a year of us being together, my job finished and finances became tight…………….she was great and did not make any demands (on the contrary, she would obtain money to contribute) I became really frustrated and worried about money, which really affected my mood. I was not great towards her but she stuck in there and fought to make things work.

    to cut the story short…………………..about a year ago she aske me to send some information via email, and I spotted an email that looked suspicious, it turns out that she was having email contact with several guys asking them for money and communicating her undying love…………in some perverse way, I was thinking that this was the money she contributed, but I am not 100% sure as I wasn’t keeping a diary. After looking in her email account I found that this communication had been going on for some years, and stoppped about 1 year prior to the date of me reading the emails…………..I immediately confronted her and asked her to leave, she did the next day……………..during the past year I have felt overwhelming guilt that she stuck with me through all of the shit, and now that I have a great job with fantastic benefits, she is not there to reap the rewards of her major efforts in keeping everything together through the shit…………..I really still don’t know what to feel, she said that there was no physical contact with these people..but to me it was lying….but was she trying to keep our shit together………….I have a major Head F#$%K and can’t seem to move on

  9. pixie

    I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex – who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx

  10. J

    A guy who was here in 2009 & Mr B,

    I appreciate your guys advice and agree with both of you. It sucks and there is no explanation I can possibly think of that would make her lose interest but that very well could be the case here. Its been tough but I am keeping no contact with her and making her make the effort if she would like to continue what we have.

    I am trying to go with the attitude that I (as well as many guys on this website) are great guys. They truly care about women and are not interested in just a fling or sleeping around to mask some past problems…..anyways my attitude is that I would never do what she did to me. I had friends in town this weekend as well and was thinking about her.. If you care about someone they become a top priority.

    So in a sense I am too good for her. I have a big heart and will not allow to waste time on a girl who does not deserve what I have to offer.

    If in fact she does contact me, like Mr. B says she might. I will simply let her know that I am NOT okay with that behavior and I deserve the courtesy of a simple phone call. I am not being needy but just want to express how I feel.

    What do you guys think?

    -Really appreciate it guys.

    A guy who was here in 2009- Really happy for you man sounds like you have a keeper. Remember to always appreciate her, something I do is forget and then when they pull away I freak out. Have a little co-dependency that sets me off.

    Mr. B- I couldn’t believe it the other day I cried like a baby. I am 27 and haven’t cried like that in years and years. Its ok man let it out. Don’t worry about being cocky/funny and all that BE YOURSELF… Its hard but you don’t want to put on a false impression of how you truly feel and look back and regret it.

  11. trev29

    its been a year and a half since my long term girlfriend broke us off.she just wanted full freedom. im still not recovered because she has kept contacting me since and has give me mixed signals ever since whilst i know she has already been with a few other guys. how do i get away from this???

  12. Leon

    I just broke up 2 days ago from my relationship of 5 months. Well, lets just say that I was being pussy whipped all the way. I was paying everything for her and it was me that was mostly me telling her I love her all the time.

    A week before she flew of for a holiday overseas, where we couldn’t contact each other, she suddenly became very ‘busy’. Replies were short and the time between our texts become longer and longer. I couldn’t take it anymore and confronted her about it. She just said ‘Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just becoming a habit for me to not reply you nowadays’ we had our last date after that and it was the most awkward one ever. Hand holding didn’t feel natural anymore and I can’t even get close to her without her trying to push herself away. I thought I could fix this dying relationship but was unable to because she didn’t want to help fix it in the first place.

    After her 3 week holiday she texted me when she touchdowned from the airport, I purposely didn’t reply her for a few hours, then replied pretending to be uninterested. Soon, I knew it was going to end soon. So I broke up with her saying if she didn’t want to fix this, I give up. She hasn’t replied since. I blocked her facebook and deleted her number.

    Was what I did right? Was I being a clingy person over her? I thought I was.

  13. fossil

    Been reading here for a while and finally felt comfortable sharing.

    My former girlfriend and I were together 14 months and I loved every second of it. We had a decent life gap (I’m 26, she’s 19) and I find myself hoping that her departure is based out of fear. Her reason for leaving was “she fell out of love with me.” I took it like a man.
    Her: I love you but am no longer in love with you
    Me: ……okay.
    Her: I’m sorry
    Me: I forgive you. *long pause* I’m still in love with you.
    Her: I know

    And then the long awkward drive home back to her car. I am madly.in love with this woman and her family. I have a key to the house. I’m on the family cell phone plan. Ive been on the family vacations and had begun to think about marrying this girl. This is beyond brutal for me.

    It has been NC from the moment she left. Today is day 9. I want to believe that she will come back and I know the only way to heal is to let go. I just hate waking up. And I don’t want to let go.

  14. J


    I’m the same exact way man. Waking up is BRUTAL, after a night filled with fucked up dreams of her. What she is doing, who she is doing, feeling alone, etc. I have yet to find an answer to this problem. Only thing I know is to just get up and step by step get ready and start your day.

    Something that works for me is just putting on the television. I can watch sportscenter and distracts me, even the slightest helps.

    It has been 6 days since we broke up officially. It sucks no other way to look at it. I wonder what she is doing all the time. If she even cares what I am doing? Bottom line have to try to forget and remember what it was like on my own.

    I have been doing a lot of reading and someone wrote an incredible post that really sank in with me. I will post it below:

  15. J

    I am going to try and be as gentle as I can about this. Because I myself have repeated the same mistake over and over again. You are chasing your women bottom line. Here’s the thing a lot of women get into these emotional states where they get confused. Someone they get pulled in different directions. They see other opportunities they may want to explore. Whether that means going to another country for work or entering the party scene or maybe try dating another guy cause they think grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It’s extremely important to recognize this behavior when it happens. When you get that random out of nowhere completely uncalled for break up. The only thing you can do if you want any shot of getting her back is to remain strong and not respond to her. Not call her NOTHING. Women hate emotionally weak men they like to have control but don’t really want it deep down. Right now these girls can literally have their cake and eat it too. You see they can go out have fun do what it is they want to do and because of how you feel for them they think they can have you back at any time they want cause you are literally chasing them and time after time showing them how much you care and how hurt and lost you are without them. All this does is give them a HUGE ego boost and encourages them to do more of the very thing that made them withdraw from you. Instead you must regain control and regain that respect from your partner. You must be strong and stand on your own two feet and truly believe that life will go on without her and that you are worth someone who will give you the respect you deserve.

    With that in mind. Also know this. Women HATE to be ignored ask any woman there is absolutely nothing worse than ignoring a woman. The reason why this affects them so much. Is because their own mind and their own thoughts become their worst enemy. There insecurities and doubts start to play against them. For example they will start thinking thoughts “Has he met someone else?”, “Did he ever really love me”, “Did I do something wrong?” etc etc etc. And when this happens the ball will be back in your court and she will call. They always do. And what you have just proven both to yourself and her is this. You ARE a strong man. You will NOT tolerate disrespect or games. That emotionally you are strong enough to handle her and anything that comes ahead. And you deserve her respect and most importantly that you love yourself. These are the characteristic women chase after some will admit it. Someone won’t but deep down all women want a solid dude. Doing this proves you are that guy. It took me a lot of heart ache a lot of tears and so much pain to figure this all out. I truly hope it helps

  16. Fossil

    Thanks, man. I appreciate the post. And I completely agree with you. In a weird way, I know the only way back is forward. So I am going to do everything I can to take care of me and prepare myself for the inevitable day. This means
    *Focus on Success (getting out of waiting tables and start using that degree. Buy a house.)
    *Focus on getting back in shape. (Get back into excercise to reach my physical peak)
    *Focus on Being Happy (You only have one life. Live it. Enjoy it. Life and youth are too short to live in fear)

    By doing the above I will regain my Confidence, Attraction, and Stability to myself and others. If she comes back, awesome. If not, her
    loss. I’ll be fine in the end; always have been, always will be.

    But she will come back. Mark my words. I just need to be ready for it. Like preparing for the most.important job interview. I need to make sure I’ve grown and chained in the months/years.


    i broke up with my gf a few weeks ago.she was perfect.it lasted 3 days but in the 3 days i was happier then ever.when we got togetheri asked her if she was “creeped out” at all.
    she said no
    and then she broke up with me.she said that she wasnt ready and to try again in middle school.she also said she still loved someone at her old school!well now shes with my old friend (old as in until he was with her)and she told my new friend that shes using him to get me jealous!i suspected this because im letting the negative vibes get to me!I NEED HELP please post the awnser in the comments!tnx!

  18. Mr B

    Hi guys, so I´m back with a little information.
    Last wednesday I was back in town after christmas holiday. Contacted here and said we`ll meet up next week (today) to do some formal things (keys etc)

    After that I went into NC again.

    We met up today, and of course she was so beautiful (coincidence? doubt it)

    We sat down and had a chat, I was being pretty casual, but at the same time high energy and a little cocky\funny. I´m that way natural, and I´ve always made her laugh, and she laughed a lot.

    I did not mention the relationship in any matter, just talking about other stuff. she asked me how my chrismas has been, and I said “its been ok, it was good to get away from town for a while” and she nodded and said she understood that.

    Later she said that she have had some tough times as well.

    I was SO tempted to ask for another chance, or to flirt or something but I know that it would ruin everything so I kept my cool. We talked a lot about casual things, and laughed a lot and when on “a high” I said that it was time to go because I had plans. Gave her a hug and went each our ways.

    It was tough, I have a wierd feeling today, because I could see that she kind of still likes me and touching her hair while talking to me, but I didn`t want to give to much of myself since SHE was the one who rejected me, and I´m sure she`ll do it again if I give in.

    So I´m keeping NC again from now, but have to be honest and say that this made me want her more, and hope she`ll be in touch, but on the other side it was great to feel that I came out as a “winner” and I´ll guess she will be thinking “why was he so happy and confident?”.

    Thats all for now, I´ll keep you posted.

  19. Trapped

    Hey guys,

    Well, my situation is a bit more complex than others. I just lost who I thought was my true “Soul Mate.” She was my first love when I was a kid. Twenty some years later we reconnected and got together for the last 18 months. It was the greatest 18 months of my life in every way imaginable. We were inseparable and I felt like I had never been so in love. Everything seemed to just click on so many levels. The chemistry was intoxicating.

    Problem was that I am married with kids.

    Despite us both knowing that it wasn’t right or the way things should’ve started, things happened. In the beginning, everything was perfect. We both seemed to be on the same page with what I needed to do and that I couldn’t do anything overnight. So many times she told me she would be there and was supportive of what I was going through and that she was not going to let me go.

    We had a few upsets though where she just felt like she couldn’t wait or be with me anymore. I begged her to wait, and that I knew once the time was right for me to get on my own and do things right, then we could be together 100%. She finally said she couldn’t wait anymore. It threw everything into a tale spin for me as I scrambled to figure out a way to get out of my situation and not lose her.

    But it was all for nothing. In the last week, so much came to light. So much deception and lies on her part. She possibly had been with other guys the entire time we were together. I even caught her show up late one night with one guy that she had lied about time and time again, claiming he was just a friend. Even her friends told me that she was always with other people while we together and what did I expect since I was married.

    I know it is over now. She won’t even speak to me anymore either. I just hate feeling like this. Broken hearted. Deceived. Betrayed. Alone.

    In a way, I know I got what I deserved for what I was doing to my family. And I know now that she was never honest with me about anything. She was just playing multiple hands and waiting to see which one would be her best option I guess. I almost made the biggest mistake of my life to be with someone that was never going to be with me for the long haul. I almost lost everything for nothing but a fantasy.

    But it still hurts so much. I feel like I lost my best friend on top of it all. I am trying so hard to get my head straight and get my life back on track. But I don’t even know where to begin.

  20. pixie

    Read ‘I Hate His/Her Ex’ By Alex Cooper. I was having loads of problems with my fiance’s ex and after reading this book, have resolved nearly all of the issues that were causing a problem in my relationship. :) xx

  21. jbv

    Hey J,

    If you are still reading this forum/thread did you ever hear back from that girl? She definitely doesn’t sound like a quality girl. She sounds like someone who is afraid to communicate which is a bad quality to have in a partner. Sounds like she would rather avoid conflict than be honest with her feelings. The girl I was seeing was in school still so I had assumed some of her distance was based on being busy but in the end, it just didn’t feel right for me either and although I wanted to have a big “talk” with her to see where things were going she still surprised me when she said she wanted to end things. Ultimately after a few weeks I realize it is probably for the best for me as I feel like I will be happier with someone else for a relationship. I am hoping for a story like the poster who was on here a few years ago posted above. Meeting someone who truly cares and isn’t selfish would be nice :) I know the girl I was dating had a lot “going on” too but I guess it was a good test of the relationship because there is always stuff that happens in life. It is how someone acts in the worst of times that gives you some insight on their true personality!

  22. jbv

    Weird, I thought I posted a message here before but it isn’t showing up now.

    J – did you ever hear back from her? I think you did the right thing by walking away. She sounds like she is a coward who can’t express her feelings.

  23. Schnappi

    I know that it isn’t right, but when I read some other experience I feel a little bit better.

    I’ll tell you also my story. There is a girl. We work in the same company (I’m at the end of the 20′ she with 5 years younger). I’ve noticed her from the first day when she started working but only in the last 2-3 months things went in another direction.
    I’m pretty much a workaholic. My priorities in life were (most important first): work, gym, sport and going out. I never wanted a relationship (just casual) and one of my rules was: never date someone from work. NEVER.
    We went several time out (colleagues from work) and every time I found myself in the position of running from her. She was following me everywhere even decided to walk home with me (at 4 a.m.!). She did everything and I was just ignoring her.
    I found out that she just ended a relationship with an aggressive idiot and really impressed by the effort she made in being with me I decided to give it a chance. BIG MISTAKE!
    So long I was away (business trip) she was crying that she wants me. When I was back she didn’t want me any more. After hours when she explained me how she wants to be in a relationship she was keep sending me away with “I’m not ready for a relationship” (WTF??). Every time when I walk away she came after me and told me how much she need me and so on.
    After ca. 2 month I FELT IN LOVE WITH HER. (she is really sweet). The old me was strong and without feeling and now he is just a poor bastard who cannot control his feeling and runs after her like a puppy. Of course she told me again “Let’s stay only friends” but this time something more “I wanted by couldn’t fall in love with you”. That really broke me in two. To hear this from the person who previously told me “I’m in to you. Give me your hart. I need you. Never let me alone.”
    She wanted to be good friends so we were in contact in the last 2 weeks. Eat regular together, take walks together. Every time she is colder and colder with me and I’m just sitting there and hoping.
    I am so pathetic! I know. I cannot help myself. I cannot sleep during the night. After 2-3 hours I wake up and cannot sleep any more. I don’t feel like working (this is new for me. trust me!). I know now for sure that she needed me to get over her ex (photos with him even after 1 month being with me).
    I have to get over her but I cannot hate her!!!!!

  24. Schnappi

    One more thing….
    For her I changed my entire program. Work only 8 hours/day instead of 10-11 hours/day, no more staying late, gym and sport only 3 times/week instead of 6-7 times/week. I tried to do it all for her.
    So please don’t accuse me of being insensitive to her needs.

  25. jbv

    Are you staying you are 20 and she is 5 years younger? 15??

    I would say move on. That is illegal in some countries. You need someone closer to your own age. Too much drama!

  26. J


    We had a final email where she felt that we were not compatible and she cares for me but doesn’t see us in the long term. I wrote back, “thank you for being honest.” and that was that. Haven’t talked since. It is hard to let someone in and trust them, sleep with them, wake up next to them, and then it just be pulled away.

    I went about two weeks feeling like SHIT. I soon realized i was wallowing in my misery. I was addicted to my misery! I felt normal sometimes but then would catch myself being happy and immediately make myself feel bad again.

    Reality is this break up had nothing to do with me. She has issues with her dad (RED FLAG), when women have strained relationships with their fathers it translates a majority of the time to intimacy issues). She also doesn’t get along great with her mom and does not have a lot of gf’s. So obviously intimacy is a major issue with her and she got scared that we were getting closer and this is how she deals with it. It’s not my problem.

    I have made the conscious decision to stop feeling sad and only be positive. Literally positive about everything. Its been about 5 days now and I feel fantastic. Anytime a negative thought enters my mind, I tell it to get the fuck out and continue to be happy and positive. I highly suggest it. Wake up and say shit I am an awesome dude with a lot going for me. Listen to good music that makes you happy and positive. Do things you like!

    If anyone needs advice please feel free to ask. I am no expert but I am just like you all and totally understand.


  27. Keith

    Ummm im new to this but im young so I need answers. I jud broke up wit my girl and when I askrd her y she said she didnt have a reason. Turns out she was dating sum1 else the day we broke up. I jus wanna get her out my head. Please help

  28. Edgard

    Well I had a gf and we have been dating for about 8 months and just a few days ago she said we should break up I asked her y and she said she lost her interest but should I be mad should I get over her …if I do how

  29. Matt

    I have been through many breakups, almost always the girl beats me too it. The first thing that I do is very close to what the author does but I use the term negative association. Instead of focusing on anything positive I break down the relationship to the pros and cons. Then I take that pro list and use it to try and figure out what I am looking for in a girl. With the con list I look at all of the negatives and focus on those.

    She was dishonest, didn’t like my friends, I put a lot more into the relationship. Things like that which over time destroyed a lot of those positive emotions.

    **NOTICE** Do not try to do this if you plan on staying friends with a girl. I would not recommend this becuase you will probably end up resenting her.

    However, when a girl after 4 1/2 years breaks up with you through a text message while getting your masters and won’t give you a real reason why except “it’s me and not you” this works very well.

  30. Andrew

    So just the other day, my ex broke up with me after a year and 8 months.

    She was the ideal girl. She laughed, cried, yelled; everything under the sun, we felt it. Having experienced this much with a person, I let her into my heart and soul in a pretty significant way.

    I work overnights Sun-Wed. She was my rides home Wed and Thurs morning. It was like this for about almost a year. I was making good money, paying for gas etc. I made sure she knew I was appreciative of her help. Well, the last (positive) text I got from her was I believe Monday evening. She said “I love you, hope you have a good night at work”. That was the last time it was positive.

    She works for her dad about 45 minutes away but goes to school here at a community college. She stayed with me at my dads house, along with my younger brother and his gf — we all got along great. Well, since her dad was so far away, she would just stay there sunday night through tuesday night, pick me up wed morning and stay until friday morning, where she’d then go work for him for another day or two.

    Well, it was just Tuesday morning I texted her (after her not texting me all night long, which was odd) and asked if she was coming to the house. She said she was “on her way to school”, that was it. So I replied “ok I love you, I miss you” and “wake me up at 6 pm”, assuming she’d come here after school or work for her dad and chill for the couple days — like normal.

    That night I woke up at 7 pm, nothing on my cell… Okay, weird. I was upset, so I said sarcastically in text “ok thx for waking me up”. She replies “phone died had to drop stuff off at my dads”, I ask “what did you drop off?”, she replies “he will be gone on his cruise”. I reply “ok.. not what I asked”. nothing after that. Fine, shes in a mood, she rarely gets like that but ok.. I get my ride to work from my dad. He wants to know if she’ll be there that night, so he knows whether or not to lock the door. I text, nothing. Fine, whatever.. again, being bitchy w/e. not the first time.

    Midnight, “hey are you coming to get me?” Nothing. 4 am, “UH, HELLO? DO I NEED TO FIND A RIDE?” Nothing. Thank god I worked with my buddy Mike so I could get a ride home Wed morning. I text her, “omfg unbelievable, where are you???” and I just figured her phone was dead. It was a possibility!

    I go to bed at 10 am, wake up at 3:30 pm to a text “we are over its not working out you are using me for my car”. Uh…. blindsided. I respond “wtf? i am not using you for your car”. nothing. “omg amanda call me, i am freaking out”. nothing.

    so then she finally says “i text and its over, i am tired of being a taxi driver”.

    That was the last i heard from her. She integrated herself into my family deeply, only to delete literally everyone from facebook. My entire family is feeling this pain as well as I am. I have good support from them, friends, co-workers etc. Just sucks I had to call in last night because I had no ride home this morning.

    Stupid me, all last night, texting her shit like “I will listen to Nickelback, I will be nice to ralston (her dog)” or “I really seen myself being married to you (and I really did)”. Nothing back. I have had NC for around maybe 5 hrs now.. I deleted all messages and her number, no trace on facebook, pics all gone.. her stuff is packed and in the basement. I tried to sleep last night, took a sleeping pill but only slept for 3 hrs.. so exhausted. I hate crying about it.

    The situation just doesn’t make sense. Her driving me was never an issue before, and just last weekend we had a great weekend hanging out at her moms, seen a movie, just generally being normal and lovely and awesome. Then this. So sudden. Two weeks before this, she tells my bro-in-law that she could see herself marrying me.

    Am I absolutely batshit crazy? Her family likes me, so i dont think its something they could’ve said. Someone else? stressing about school and work, needing a break?

    Idk.. I am really hurt and going to try this guide. I read some of your guys post, like Mr. B and J. You guys are troopers. I am trying. Day two of being single after almost two years of deep love. Its hard.

    Any insight?

    Sorry its so long…

  31. Andrew

    Need to mention that there is no closure, and likely won’t be. How do I go about this? I want the real reasons she left and I want concrete answers, to which I know she won’t contact me.

  32. Brendan

    Hi guy’s i have had one of the worst breakups ever this person i was ready to be the one with until now. she has emailed me this after we had a long chat things. could you guys please fill me in where i stand in her life still here are the email

    I’m sorry for the way things were left off today. u have to understand that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I listened to everything you said to me and I may have ignored you a bit and may have looked like I don’t care but I do care and I’m sorry for what you have been through. I know people turn their backs to you and your just reaching out for their attention which explains why you seek attention from me. I’m no physcitrist i think the way you were bought up in life is effecting the way you behave today.

    This will be hard and you probably think i’m a cold, heart bitch right now who doesn’t give a shit about u but im not cuz I can’t help wondering if you gonna be ok thats the person I am.

    It was wrong of me to not give u a hug and say hello and ask if your ok but I was very upset with U for what u had did the last couple of days.

    I feel like a piece of me has gone aswell because we did have that closeness and that bond. I am hurting as well and I am going to have a hard time letting go of you now that I know we won’t be in contact. This is what I want and I do think its best for the both of us. I’m leaving it in gods hands for now. If he thinks that I’m the one for you then he will bring us together. For now we go our separate ways and enjoy being single. Find urself, find what you want to do and achieve all those goals in life.

    I wish you all the best and I will always have you in my heart.

    and more…..

    I’m glad your safe. Please do me a favour and keep busy from now on it will help you get through this as i will do the same. You need your friends and family right now.

    Yes i will think about the good times we had and look at the relationship we had as a leaning curb for the future. I can’t predict what is going to happen in the future but I know that someday u will thank me for this.

    Take care


  33. Andrew

    Well, update from the previous days posts. I wrote her a long, heartfelt e-mail explaining where I was coming from and expressing that I wanted to know where she was coming from. It took me a good hour to find the right words, and it was a beautifully written e-mail — I had others read it, just to make sure, and all positive remarks on it.

    Just mainly said I wanted to talk about things, work things out. If she didn’t want to, then tell me the real reason(s) why we’re breaking up and not some half-assed hodgepodge excuse so I can have closure.

    Her response?

    “I will be over next week to pick up my clothes and stuff final”

    Fuck that. I am done reaching out. Its time to heal and move on. I will hopefully be dropping her shit off, giving myself the upper hand and dictating the terms. After that remark, I am 100% assured that there is nothing there with her anymore. She lost a lot more than I did; I wasn’t terribly close to her family, I hardly seen them. I wasn’t close to really anyone in her life, so all I lost was her. She was very close to my family, notably my brother in law Chris. She cut ties with everyone from my family and everyone we mutually were friends with.

    I clearly came out on top with this. I still have my sanity, my friends, my family — All of which agree that I will move on, stronger than ever, and will indeed find someone who truly appreciates me.

    Good luck guys. I will be checking in from time to time to weigh in on issues you have, giving (hopefully) positive opinions and feedback. We’re brothers now, as loosely as you may want to accept that — We can support each other and help each other. Love, luck, and god bless.

  34. MrB

    Andrew: I feel your pain, this girl really doesn`t sound good.
    I mean, girls do take decision based on emotion, and not logic but she sounds REALLY emotional.

    About your closure and getting to talk to her I would think the following:
    There will come a time when you guys can have a real talk, and she will give you the real reasons, but that time is not now. She is clearly to emotional, and the more you are pushing her, the more she will pull away so go NC and dont ask for anything right now.

    After 3-4 weeks you could take up contact (if she doesnt`t), be casual and tell her that you would like to learn from this experience so you can be a better person for other girls in the future, and you would like to know what you did wrong, and what caused the break up.

    So be patient, the time for a real talk will come, but its not the right time now. I would also think that if you go NC for a while this girl might just contact you before you do.

    Good luck mate, I feel your pain!

  35. Andrew

    MrB, thank you for responding.

    It’s been nearly a week and I am still distraught – as expected. In a last ditch attempt, I left her a very heartfelt, warm note underneath some of her packed things for her to find, reflecting upon the good of our relationship – to which very much outweighed the bad. I just fortified my position of supportive/loving, stating that if/when she realizes she doesn’t want to give “us” up, to call me.

    I left my numbers in case she deleted them, then just signed it.

    Its literally in her court when she comes to get her stuff – I am not sure if I’ll be sleeping or not, but regardless, I am going to begin to heal and move on. In a month time or so I will do as you suggested, casually text her/call her.

    Thanks so much for the input.

  36. JR

    Loking for some advice,

    My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 6 years, and we broke up almost a month ago. It started out with me getting bothered by something she did and I told her to give me space for a few days (no big deal, over the 6 years we’ve been together we’ve had our days of space before), a few days later I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies, and she replied saying she wasn’t interested. So we got into an argument again and we both agreed we were done with each other. (this has happened before – twice – and both times I came back to her)

    The thing is, lately she’s been a very negative person about life and gossiping about other people more than usual. I’ve been trying to add more positiveness to my life and get out of the gossip, egotistic, shallow life of most of her girl friends. She claims to want that too, but actions speak louder than words.

    Before we broke up, she was talking to me and starting making fun of some person, and I told her, “It’s not nice to make fun of people”, and she totally made me feel like I was some weirdo for trying to be more positive and stress free. She claimed I was going “Religious on her”, but religion has nothing to do with it. I’m just trying to get negativity out of my life (in fact I don’t practice any religion). She totally turned the conversation against me like I was the bad guy. She does that a lot, when she’s wrong. It’s like she’s trying to escape her faults, by turning it around on me. Isn’t that a personality disorder?

    Being together for 6 years, she’s brought up the marriage subject a number of times, and even moving in together. But when it comes to marriage, I try to be smart about it. She has no money and a large amount of debt. And I’m doing really well for myself with no debt, living on my own. I told her I love her, but if we didn’t work out the financial part of being married, it would come back and bite us in the butt, and it would cause constant arguing in our marriage. When we would talk about it she would understand, but then months would go by or weeks, and she would be upset again that we weren’t married yet, and all her girlfriends are getting engaged.

    We’re both almost 30, so my two biggest problems are A) I’m not sure how to get back out there and start dating again. I feel like the old dude at parties. And B) most of my guy friends, are the husbands of her girlfriends. So I don’t want to be a part of that group anymore. It sucks, because now I have to go find new guy friends and I’m almost 30. How do I do that? I’m not in college any more.

    I’ve taken up new hobbies, in fact I had a lot of hobbies even when we were together. So I have hobbies to keep me busy, but I don’t feel like it’s keeping me any more busy than when I was with her. (Recently I’ve taken up sailing, and drum lessons)

    I figured this is the time to spend with my family, but all of my family live out of state (Oregon), and shes knows this. I think because she knows this she feels I will come crawling back to her because I have no one. She has all her girlfriends, and lives with her family. I live on my own and now I have no guy friends to be around. When it comes to support, she definitely has the upper hand. I’m trying to stay strong. Has any one gone through something similar? Any advice for me?


  37. MrB

    Andrew: I think that would be the best for now, keep NC for a month. If she jumps on another guy, just leave it. That only proves she is a whore, and best of luck to the new “lucky” guy.

    Keep away from her and you will heal. I havent seen my ex in two weeks now (and soon 1,5 month except that small meeting due to formalities) and it sure does help. Out of sight, out of mind. Get out of your house, take a walk and meet up with the guys just to get out. That is what I`m doing even though it hurts like hell.

    I`ll think your girl will wonder why you did not contact her, and will be curious why you went “cold turkey”, be prepared that she might throw out a bait just to see if you are still interested. Be careful to take it, you want to play it cool.

    Keep me updated Andrew and feel free to add me on adbt85@live.com if you wanna have a chat through this tough time we are both going through.

    I feel your pain to, you are in a tough situation but you can handle it. Good thing taking up a hobby, I would also suggest internet dating, not that you want a new girlfriend but just to see the “other fishes” out there, and maybe make som new friends.

    There is nothing to panic about being 30, a lot of people have been through the same experience but you`ll have to stay strong and keep NC for a while, who knows… the girl might contact you instead.

  38. Andrew

    I am now thinking leaving the note there inconspicuously isn’t a good idea.

    Is it terrible or just right?

    I texted her to make sure she texts me when she’ll be here, and to let her brother know to bring his truck her for clothes totes. Ended it with a thx and smiley. :)

    I guess I will just kill her with kindness – Not sure what shes expecting out of me, but surely the worse – she’ll instead get the best. I am feeling a bit better, so I will make sure she knows I am doing just fine w/o her. (: That’ll get her.

  39. MrB

    I agree with you, drop the note, it will only make you see desperate. She already knows you don`t want this decision. A note won`t change that. Instead, I would suggest if you got any pictures of you together on your phone etc. that she don`t have you can upload them to a USB and say “Here are some photes from my phone I guess you might want to have, maybe not now but in the future and wanted to see old memories”

    Kill here with kindness, I totally agree with you. I did this to my ex after the breakup and they notice it!

    Keep me updated mate!

  40. JR

    Thanks MrB.
    I keep telling myself, that she expects me to contact her. I know she does. I’m not going to, and we’ll see what happens. Financially, I supported her on many levels. I think these next couple weeks will be a big wake up call for her, on how much she relied on me. As much as I love her, logically I know she’s lost a lot more than what I lost. It’s just a matter of time before she realizes it.


  41. A


    I just want to give my tip on how I am handling my brake up.
    First of all keep the no contact, don’t play any mind games. Forget about revenge, because it will only make her mad, and after all you only want a response from her, and when you don’t get it you are right back at square one.

    What I did is that I forgave her, I said I was sorry for all the shit I said when I told her to move her stuff. ( I was mad and told her a lot of shit )

    After that I forgave her, I found my reason to do so. Only you know when and why to forgive her, and it will make everything a lot easier.

    Send her a text, mail, or call her.

    But don’t expect anything in return, don’t try to analyze her answer or anything because it won’t make sense, and make you more confused. So I recommend not doing this before you are really ready.

    I guess some of you wonder why you should forgive her, it’s because when you stop being mad, and hate her, want revenge, you stop thinking so much about her, and that’s the time you can let her go!

    At some point you think about what she is doing, who she’s with, and is she having sex?
    What you should not do is replace thoughts with: I guess she is thinking of me, and if I’m having sex.

    Train and learn to accept this, if she is what can you do about it?? You wish you could do something, because you are a man, and your brain still thinks she’s your property.
    You can think about it as much as you want until you get tired of it, or you can start to let go, and accept that it’s happening. After a while you will stop, because you told yourself that this is the way it is.

    I always think the worst, so if it’s the case then it won’t hurt as much as it would if I didn’t. But don’t drive yourself crazy thinking of it. Tell yourself well she is free, and can do whatever she wants! Even if I love her, I can’t tell her what to do anymore.

    I hope this helps and makes any sense.


  42. Andrew

    MrB, I added you to MSN, not sure if you got it. Try adding me: ir_ebil@hotmail.com.

    A, you are right on the money. My thoughts went exactly to: “okay, who is pounding her nice ass now? Its not me, fuckin’ a.”

    I think what a lot of men go through is indeed the thought that there is another man, or a better man that replaced them. Its a hard pill to swallow and sometimes that may be the case, to which all you can do really is slap your pride to wake up and move on.

    Love, luck, and god bless gentlemen.


  43. MrB

    Here comes a little update from me. Still in NC and heard nothing from my ex last 2 weeks. Now 2 months after break up, and 1.5 month from she moved out. Saw her 2,5 weeks ago when we fixed all the formal things.

    I`ve healed a lot, the big pain is gone. I´m still thinking about her, of course I am but its not that hard anymore. I`ve filled my time with lots of friends and had a great time.

    Just passed a big exam thursday, that was an amazing feeling.

    Still going NC, maybe I`ll contact her when I`m ready but on the other hand… she dumped me and I`ll guess she`ll be curious after a while if I don`t contact her.

    Anyway, I`m doing NC for me, not for her and I`m growing.

    Take care guys

  44. Jaret

    Hey guy’s.

    I have been on this website before and let me tell you the NC thing is best! I was so upset and trippen the last time as you can see from my previous posts on here about a year in a half ago. They are simply not worth it and these woman think they are gods gift. Like they say “don’t chase. Replace”

    P.S. screw off you stupid spamer’s

  45. Howhigh

    Hello. I had sex with my ex 4 times the month after she broke
    Up with me. Some weeks after i had sex with this new Chick to make me feel better and forget her and it worked for a while but now i miss her again and feel this emptiness. The problem is she wants us to be only freinds now but i still have strong feelings for her and she loves me though not enough to be with me again.. Would you say its worth it to try be freinds or Will it only bring more trouble.. Thx Yall.

  46. Art

    hey guys im 22 and was with my girl for 3 years our relationship was good in the beginning.she was always thinking long term and i wasnt totally sure.as it went on things started to change and to make a long story short she started losing love as i started to gain it..i saw small signs of her losing some interest but could tell she still loved me..but i soon suffered from an injury that cost me to lose my semester in college and was unable to work..as soon as i got a little better she told me she didnt want to be with me anymore.that she lost interest.i tired to tell her to stay and begged but she said she couldnt anymore..its been a month and i cant stop thinking about her nights and weekends are the hardest.Ive had no type of contact with her..to much pride to call her..theres other prettier girls that want to hang ot but they just dont interest me so i always blow them off. i need help.suggestions?