How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend
This is the number one question I get asked most of the time – right after the question on how to win her back.
And it’s difficult to answer. How do you get over your ex girlfriend?
I guess that we have all been there at some point in our lives.
Relationship starts. Everything’s good. Suddenly, everything isn’t so good. And you break up. That’s life!
I have had my share of it, so I speak from experience here.
You have probably shared lots of good times, and now it’s gone.
No more holding hands, no more crawling in close when it’s cold outside, no more kisses under the moonlight, no more anything.
For some it’s easier to accept than others. But I don’t think anyone like breaking up.
For the first few days, after realizing the truth, you feel pretty awful. This is definitely the worst part of a break up, and also the part that defines your emotions for the next couple of weeks.
So how do you go about handling a break up?
As thoughts are really hard to control, I’ll give you a “timeline” for your emotions.
I know it might sound a little strange, but it’s how I personally handle the break up, and for that reason, I figure it might be useful for some people.
Here we go:
The first few days I cry my heart out. I let out all of my negative feelings, and do almost nothing more all day than to “think about her”. Whenever I try to slip in a positive thought, I’ll disregard it right away. It’s my privelege to be sad just a few days a year, I’ll explain why later on.
What’s really important in this phase is that you don’t talk to anyone about the break up. At least not more than something like “we’re not together anymore”.
Another really important thing to do is to stop listening to love songs. At this point, you will most likely identify with them, and I know from experience that this can really f**k up your emotions later on.
So just let yourself be as sad as you can, without talking to anyone, and without getting feelings from anyone else than yourself.
Afterwards, if you have followed my advice, you should almost be sick thinking about her. 3 days might not be a long time in a calendar, but in your head, it will almost feel like it’s ages ago you broke up.
You will start realizing that she wasn’t “the one” for you, and that you have your whole life waiting, along with millions of cute girls.
Over the next few weeks, you might have some reoccurring thoughts about her. That’s fine. As long as you realize how bad she was for you, and that you’re not going to get back together.
I think this is the part most guys do wrong. They keep thinking they can get back together, and this makes it incredibly hard to move on.
For a couple of days, try to just “get on with it”. Don’t spend time thinking about her, just live your life like you always have.
After a week or two, you’ll see that you do fantastic without her. You might not be completely “over her”, but you’re definitely on the right path to getting so.
Personally, after about 2-3 weeks, I completely stop thinking about her. Well, not completely, she’s still “my ex”, but I’m by no means sad about the fact that we’re not together anymore.
Soon, I’ll meet another girl, twice as nice, and it’s all uphill from here with happiness. Until we break up.
Life’s strange isn’t it?
General tips on handling the break up
- Stop stroking the banana fantasizing about her. It’s just wrong… AND it tightens your emotional bonds to her. Not good man!
- You’d be amazed what kissing a new girl can do. Start meeting new people as soon as possible.
- Accept that she wasn’t the one. She was just a girl, whatever your brain might tell you. You have a “her” hole in your stomach right now, and you probably think that only she can fill it. But what the hole really is is just a woman shaped hole, and any women can fill it.
- Take control of the situation. Don’t let her define your feelings, only you can do that.
- Start living again. After feeling down for a few days, a week, or maybe more, start living again. If you have always wanted to start playing tennis, now is the time to do it. Or start playing guitar, or start painting. Anything will work, just gain some kind of new passion, or relive an old one.
Why it’s important to be sad at first
This might not work for everyone, but I can only conclude stuff from my own experience, so that’s what I’m going to do.
The reason I choose to be sad at first, is to take control. It’s my choice to cry, she has nothing to do with it. Not directly, anyway.
In my opinion it’s really bad to try to run from your feelings, because you will feel sad. Best just to admit it and let it out.
After those few days, you will also realize that someone that made you so sad, wasn’t right for you. This is also important.
So now to wrap it up, I would like to know one thing.
How do you get over an ex girlfriend / handle a break up?
Let’s start a discussion here!
UPDATE: There are A LOT of comments on this post. A lot of them includes fantastic tips for getting over your girl. I highly recommend reading as many as you can to get a general feel.
I highly encourage you to check out my book called “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution”. It includes everything you ever wanted to know about getting over your ex and moving on with your life. It takes you right from the break-up to your new relationship, and it answers all the questions I get all the time like “what to do if she wants to be friends”, “how to avoid being distracted by thoughts about her”, “how to fall asleep when I miss her” etc… Read more about it here!
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Lovely images by lizzie vengeance.