Now, I know that it’s only some of you who are undergoing an education at the moment, but this post is not written for the masses, it’s written for those who are at college, in high-school, or some place else where there are many young, bright people seeing one another almost every day.
This is also the reason why it’s a different approach to get popular with the girls in a place like this, than let’s say for example at a bar. At a bar you can be anyone you want to be for a night; at a school people see you all the time, and will most likely get a pretty broad picture of you.
For a guy with his game together, getting seen everyday will only help to establish his strong character and identity. For the more silent, introverted type that doesn’t get noticed much and doesn’t have a lot of friends, the opposite will happen. It’s either a positive or a negative spiral.
Now with that said, let us look at what characterizes a place like college regarding dating and girls:
- First of all, there are generally A LOT of girls. In many high-schools and colleges, the women to men ratio can be as high as 60/40.
- Many of these girls are both smart and attractive. Lucrative combination if you ask me!
- People at colleges usually take on the herd mentality very fast, and flock together to protect themselves from the evil of being known as a loner, a freak or something even worse.
- The most popular guys become more popular due to people wanting to be close to those who are popular. More equals more, and less equals less.
- Young people (aged around 15-25) usually want more than anything to have FUN. If you have fun, if you are fun or if you manage to create fun, people will naturally want to be around you. And remember what happens to those people who people want to hang around? They become even more popular.
The key to popularity
The key to gaining popularity in college is to always have fun. Or at least appear to!
If you have a lot of great friends with whom you have fun with, you and your friends will be like a huge magnet to girls, who can be nothing but drawn to you.
Fun in this sense is not about walking around and telling dirty jokes or laughing at your own intern stuff; it’s more like creating these events where people can join in and feel like they’re a part of something.
Small and big events
Small competitions like arm wresting at lunch or drinking games at parties can be very successful at drawing in a crowd and establishing you as a leader.
Throwing your own party can definitely also achieve this; just as holding a warm-up before going out or inviting people to a bowling event or something similar. It can be anything as long as it involves other people and makes them and you have a good time.
If you don’t have anyone to do these things with, it’s a little harder. Without a friend circle to start with, creating one of these events is not easy.
Be the guy you’d want to be friends with
That is why you also have to be really friendly to everyone all the time, too. Smile and greet everyone you meet and make casual conversation with as many people as you can. Flirt with the girls without being creepy, and hug and kiss them as much as possible. What we are shooting for here is to become that guy everybody knows and likes. Sure, you can’t please everybody, but don’t deliberately insult anyone.
Inspiration
I got the inspiration for this article on the forums in a thread called Back to School.
The first thing I thought of was Mark Redman, and how I have been a fool to hide him from you. Now who the hell is Mark Redman? He is the author of the book Conquer Your Campus, the most awesome book on being the king of your campus ever written. Read and apply it, and I can guarantee you that you will soon become the state university’s most notorious player. Check it out here!
Start building your friend circle
Getting into sports can be a good idea if you need a starting point; so can anything else that brings people together naturally at your institution. It can be the school musical, the school band or anything of that kind. Talking to people this way and bonding with them can really help you get to the point where you can create events and have a whole lot of fun.
I put help in italics since all this stuff is not about getting girls by itself, it’s more about creating a life for yourself where you have fun and have a lot of great friends and do all the crazy stuff associated with the ‘best years of your life’. When you manage to do those things, girls seem to magically follow.
Wrap up and conclusion
So to wrap it up, it’s all about having and creating fun. Everybody wants to be a part of something in college or at school, and nobody wants to be known as someone who hasn’t got any friends.
To become the guy people go to to have fun, you have to start out by having some kind of friend circle who you are doing fun stuff with. Bar hopping, parties, events at school; anything goes. Invite new people to these events and be prepared to be a social godfather in your school or at your campus.
Always be really friendly and talk to as many people as possible.
If you manage to do all this, I guarantee you that the girls will be flocking around you like children around candy.
Good luck, stud!
Alex
Image by Ian.
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I’ve been having issues with JUST this topic and then this article comes along, sweet! My problem is, despite being very friendly and approachable with all the girls and guys around me, I haven’t had any girls flock to me and proclaim interest. Don’t get me wrong, many attractive girls enjoy talking with me but none seem to have interest in going out, and a lot of them are already taken to begin with. In frosh week, I met a whole bunch of girls but I am having a hard time taking it any further… I am in first year at twenty three (took a lot of time off) and I am wondering if this changes anything, if anything it should help right?
I am a bit of a goof in that I always joke around and maybe this is why some girls arent interested. How would you go about asking a girl out from a class? We talk, we joke but any attempt to get her to come out is fruitless… Does being a bit of a dick work here? Some sort of outlandish show of power like telling the professor the way she explained a certain topic is very poor, and then go explain it?
Obviously I am very confused…
Hi Alex,
I hope you are fine.
I’ve benn following your blog since a lot of time, I like the way you make the things easier (they’re already easy).
This is my lifetime problem: Since I was on school I was very lonely or had few friends, I knew everyone in my school and I was very popular for being smart and sometimes very encouraged to be a leader and to say things nobody said. But I gained the fame of crazy, beacause I was very lonely, sometimes I made or said estrange things. I was very “friend” of the theachers who said that I was very deep and inteligent. The matter is I was popular but not pupular I the way I wanted. I only had friends on school but nobody to hang out or to party (I wasnt Invited to parties often).
I finished school and I proposed myself to change in a better way to not try to repeat the same mistakes of the past but I see the past is reborning. I know people in my university but im still lonely or friendless. Tonight my faculty has a huge party, everybody is going but I wont beacause I don’t have any friend or girl to go with.
Nothing its so bad beacause I have changed a little my attitude and I met a girl. I like her and she likes me but together we have a “secret romance” beacause she is the secretary of my dad and she studies in a university that nobody knows (something about status), despite she is my same age.
In conclusion, I am lonely and I want to have relationshhips with people; meet nice, intelligent and “hot” women; and i can’t love her beacause of my status and my family (and beacause she Is not my type). Sorry, I am being so shallow.
Help me If you have time.
Alex, Just keep the change.
Adios. L.
P.D: Sorry for my shallownes and “machisme” but sometimes I want a Hot Girlfriend to show. To show what? That I can have a Girl and that I can be loved and that I can give love or that I am straight.
Alex, first off: thanks for the post. I must say it’s of little use to me, as I’m not in college anymore. Besides, by now I know most of this stuff. Still, it’s good to hear the thoughts of someone quite ‘into’ the topic in question. I know what it’s like to be somewhat of a loner, and I’d love to see anyone being like that change into the social guy they’d want to be.
That said, L, why not become a member of the forums? That way, we’d be able to discuss things in a suitable environment. Give it a thought!
Johannes
Johannes, thanks. O
Ok, I’ll join the community, we can learn from each other. That is what is this about.
“I know what it’s like to be somewhat of a loner, and I’d love to see anyone being like that change into the social guy they’d want to be.”
Yeah, I should pose my question on the forums as well
Hey Alex Thanks for that! Thanks A Lot!
I keep trying to get better friends and becoming popular but its hard.
Especially for starters like me
I am pretty lonely these days.
I started looking into myself during the summer, truly observing my surroundings and my life. The past few years I guess I was on a love frenzy, my mind was only on girls and relationships. But after my last one, I just let go. I know I still wanted a relationship, but Its less important. I started looking at the bigger picture: My Life. Goals, Friends, Education, Career. It all just came to me, and I noticed I did nothing about it. It was a wake up call and now I’m trying to change for the better.
Still its hard. I’m concentrating on friends, because I noticed I don’t have any. I was, i guess, obbessed with my girlfriends, and only cared for them, I became distant from the idea of needing more friends and farther from my current friends. When i did my soul searching, I found out I never had a best friend in my life. Just friends that come and go.
I’m trying to gain for the better. Its hard.
I thought about how really short school life is going to be and how fast the real life is going to come. I need to make these last years memorable. So, My goal is to become that “everyone” guy. The one everybody knows, the one most people love. Its hard to do so, when your starting out friendless, lonely, and depressed. (A problem I’m dealing with also)
But fun is what I need, and fun is what I gotta start putting into to other lives. I love making people happy from my actions. And If i can pull this off and get loved. I’ll be truly happy.
Brent G,
Your last sentence Its very, to say less inspiring. “I love making people happy from my actions. And If i can pull this off and get loved. I’ll be truly happy.”.
I’m trying to inspire anyone? I’m just speaking my mind
Don’t know what’s your problem?
I was just saying, making people happy is something that makes me feel good.
I just wanna comeplete this goal of making everyone have fun from what I did, said or started. I know I did something right when people smile when they think about the moment or moments I was with them.
That would make me real happy.
I wrote it bad, excuse me.
I tried to say I’ts very inspiring, was only problem of a comma (,).
Sorry. Thanks for these words “I love making people happy from my actions. And If i can pull this off and get loved. I’ll be truly happy.”
Hi Alex,
What about the guy that I know is gay in my school have a lot of girls around him always girls. This is kind of changing the subject but what does being gay have to do with having a lot of girls. Obviously there must be some correlation. Thanks for the article as well it was a great reminder that its not all about girls, take girls more as the icing on the cake.
Thanks
Alex
Hi Alex,
why does the gay guy ‘have’ a lot of girls?
Let’s see… first of all, he most likely spreads A LOT of love. He gives out hugs and kisses to everyone and all the girls always have a great time when they are near him.
He is also very friendly and likes to listen when they have problems.
And at last he is desireless, and the girls have no fear of him wanting anything (sex) from them.
That’s about what I can come up with on a saturday morning!
Alex
Hi Alex, thanks a lot for the post!
I am 17 years old and are in the Europe form of Highschool.
It’s nice to have a article written for my age-group, and I can really use this stuff. Thanks again
Andy, that is great to hear.
Take care!
Alex,
I recently subscribed to your newsletter and its very inspiring as I recently broke up with my girlfriend of about 3 years.I read this article and was extremely excited too ttry some of these tips as I am a first year university student. I want to ge back in the game and gain friends (more than presently at least, I am no loner by no means,more popularity and attention from girls. I workout everyday and most of the girls see that, but still dont seem interested in a conversation with me. I try and talk to as many girls as I can about, anything, but they dont seem interested in having more than a 5 minute conversation with me, so if the interest isnt there theres no point in even flirting either. I’m really frustrated because I’m putting in a concious effort constantly but nothing seems to work. Ca you give me any personal advice that may speed things up or move things along?
Thanks a lot
james
There’s some good advice for making friends here. But you’ve missed one point girls don’t necessarily always go for the most popular guy. They often like someone who is different from the rest and who’se maybe a bit offbeat in his dress or mannerisms. As life proves even the most unattractive of guys can pull great looking girls Why be part of the herd? Stand out from the crowd!
James, my best advice is to find out what works for you, and then keep doing that. Push your boundaries a little bit every single day, and don’t forget to read the posts on this site. Good luck!
And Linda, you are absolutely right. Girls do not always go for the most popular guy, but this is not about becoming popular and bland; it is more about becoming popular and more yourself! Popular by my definition does not necessarily mean that everybody likes you – it means that the people you want to have liking you likes you. Follow me? :-)
It is also more about spreading love and having great friends. And I can’t find anything unattractive about that…
I would love another post Alex.
Merry X-Mas and a Succesful New Year.
-L
Great post Alex. I think having fun is the most important things in college…well thats what worked for me. Once you are happy inside, everything will come to you -be it friends or women.
You should try to collaborate with Jay Johnson (www.dating-college-girls.com) as you both share similar views.
Look forward to seeing your next post!