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How to Be Shockingly Popular with Women

Guy and microphone Is this just a picture of a guy and a microphone?

Note from Alex: Here’s an article from my good friend Anthony who, if you’re a regular here, know from both the forums and from the several comment threads he has participated in. Anyway, this article is about building confidence and social value – check it out!

Getting women to notice you seems either very easy or very hard. The trap I see a lot of guys falling in is trying to please everyone – because when you please people, they love you, right?… Wrong.

Women will like you if you have concrete social status; if you’re the “big thing”. If you have authority. If you respect yourself and others.

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This article is aimed at teaching you how to have exactly that: mind-blowing popularity with women. Here’s how:

1. Build Rock-Solid Confidence

Confidence is about having solid, self-established value. People respect the ones they value. Women will respect you if you respect yourself.

Focus on the positive – Look at everything you do well – it could be playing the guitar, making people laugh, or anything else. Spend more time doing these things.

Make people feel good: not because you’re seeking their approval, because you want to. Making others happy gives you a feeling of worth and purpose. Something very powerful for building confidence.

Start a project – Set yourself manageable goals and have concrete focus. Achieving something difficult will make you feel great.

Face your fear of failure – it might be being rejected by a hot girl standing at a bar. Only by facing your fear will you realize how pointless it was. Go up to her and say “Hi!”. You’ll feel great every time you defeat your fears.

Stop comparing yourself to others – there will always be people who are stronger, smarter, richer than you are. Focus on what you have, and realize negativity is always harmful. You’re never inferior to others, you’re just different.

Must-read confidence articles:

2. Provide Leadership

Women like leaders, people who take action – because those who do always have an impact. Leaders change the world they live in and have a bold vision.

Don’t let others make decisions, make them yourself! Organize events like dates or parties, choose the bar to which you’re going with your friends.

A good tip to see if you’re a leader is to go to a restaurant with five or so buddies. Who does the waiter give the check to? If it’s you, you’re the leader of the pack. If it’s not, learn from the friend who is.

Always decide and take action, because thinking without acting is useless. Think. Make up your mind. Take action. Rinse and repeat.

3. Be Independent

Rely on yourself, and yourself only. If you rely on others, people will trust them, not you. By being independent, you show authority and self-respect. It shows you trust your own judgment.

That doesn’t mean you should only trust yourself, it means you shouldn’t depend on others. An entirely different thing. An example of depending on others would be to seek their approval.

4. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Popular people are always trying out new things. When you stop doing only what’s “safe”, it shows you have the guts to confront failure and rejection – which means you don’t fear any of these. As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

Very few people can do that successfully – it takes a lot of willpower and strength. Strength and vision are incredibly sexy – get out of your comfort zone now!

5. Stop Caring about what Women Think

Well, do care, but don’t let it affect the way you are. You shouldn’t adapt who you are to fit a standard or to make an impression. Work on getting people to accept you as you are, and if they don’t, screw them! You can’t please everybody.

Master this and you’ll achieve total freedom. Being free is extremely empowering, women will sit back and watch in awe. Beautiful women won’t be able to own you like they own nice guys.

Another advantage: Women will think you don’t care because they’re not worth it. It places you in a situation of tremendous power, and women will start to seek your approval all the time.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Remember what I’ve said above, respect yourself, and others will respect you. Here, it’s about respecting your body and making a good impression.

This is similar to branding a product. Think about your image. What impact do you have on others? What three adjectives jump to people’s minds when they hear your name?

  1. Dress with style. You’ll find great tips here and there.
  2. Get yourself a nice fragrance.
  3. Work out, build strength and gain muscle. Here’s an excellent place to start.
  4. Invest in a classy watch.
  5. Exercise – it’ll improve your toning and make you happier. Women love happy guys. And active men are sexy as hell.

7. Project Confidence with Body Language

This is also a part of “branding yourself”. Now you’ve got great packaging and design, it’s time to show off how great you are, so women will “buy” you.

Show leadership and confidence with body language. Here’s how:

  • Bold eye-contact. Looking people in the eye is a sign of dominance. Click here and here for more.
  • Take space. Confident men fully use the space around them. Don’t cross your legs for instance.
  • Slow down. Slow, full movements show self-control and calmness. A very “cool” thing to do.
  • Use your voice to project confidence.
  • Open up! Don’t cross your arms or look down. Looking in front of you shows determination, and crossing your arms is protecting yourself.

8. Have Something Extra

What sets you out from the competition? What makes you unique? What do you have that other guys don’t?

Develop a skill, like playing an instrument, or being a kick-ass arm wrestler or soccer player. Anything that will get people to remember you is fine (as long as it’s something good).

It may be something you already have. Are you the funny guy with great jokes? Are you the cool and mysterious guy? Are you the one throwing great parties? What are you famous for? Grab a piece of paper and do a brainstorm. Then, focus on building that unique extra you have.

Remember, social status is something that exists in people’s minds. These tips are aimed at building status, not faking it. Change the way you think about yourself, and I guarantee women will flock to you.

You can read more articles like this one over at my blog, where I share more rock-solid dating tips for men.

Alex here again: thanks Anthony! To you, the reader – I hope you enjoyed the article. And while you’re at it, do check out Anthony’s blog where he regularly posts a lot of interesting articles. I’m out! See you in the comments.

By the way, why don’t you join me and Anthony over at the forums? Check out the thread “Social Energy” which contains discussion related to this article.

Image by Kevin Klöcker.

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5 thoughts on “How to Be Shockingly Popular with Women

  1. JCZ

    Good read, guys! A lot of links with cool info, too. I’ll be checking them out, thanks! Well, not right away, that is; first, I’m going to practice a particular skill of mine: playing the piano. ;)

    Also, I definitely can attest to the interestingness of the forum topic you mentioned. :P


    Johannes (JCZ on the forum)

  2. alex - unleash reality

    ahoy!! cool to see you getting up on other sites!!

    best definition i’ve heard of confidence is to “feel nothing to be holding you back”.

    …it’s a realisation of completeness. realising that you don’t need some little girl in a red dress, probably coked off her head, to tell you who you are. you know who you are and you know that you offer value to the world. you don’t need her to complete you. ties into attraction fully.

    really liked your suggestions on how to build confidence. proving to yourself that you don’t need anyone is prolly what i’d say it comes down to.

    leading is super key. that’s the main part of escalation.

    bottom line comes down to knowing that you are THE BOWSS.

    after all; they’re just girls ;)


    cool post bra
    keep well
    alex – unleash reality

  3. Anthony Parkes

    Thanks for the nice words, I put a lot of effort into this post :) always a pleasure to hear good feedback. Thank Alex for giving me the opportunity to write for such an awesome blog!

    @JCZ: keep us posted on how the piano skills are doing ;)

    @alex: your witty comments are starting to become famous! You’re right, confidence comes from within – otherwise, you’re seeking other people’s approval, which is being a wuss :( Thanks for the insightful comment man!


  4. Sergio

    Loved this post!!! Very true!

    Don’t change who you really are and don’t be someone your not just to impress a girl.