The questions are endless. But with these kissing tips your chances of a successful kiss will be close to 100%. Now all you need is the right girl!

Let’s start out with the first tip on how to kiss a girl for the first time; “be sure of what you want”…

1. Be sure of what you want

   Few things are more irresistible to a woman than a man who knows what he wants.

   So do both of you a favor by making sure that you really find her attractive before trying to kiss her.

   Finding the right woman is half the battle. Once that is taken care of, you just have to put in the work.

2. Read the signals

   Even though I firmly believe that you can kiss a girl who haven’t entirely decided whether she finds you attractive or not, getting some kind of green light before trying is usually a pretty good strategy.

   So, what to look for? The first one is the easiest – does she want to hang out with you?

   If she’s comfortable enough with you to spend time with you under four eyes, you’re already almost there.

   Just don’t make her too comfortable… Lack of excitement usually leads to lack of attraction… Which in turn leads to lack of kissing.

   You don’t want to get stuck in the “friend zone”! (Learn the #1 secret reason why guys get stuck in the friend zone by clicking here…)

   There are a few other signals you can look for apart from her physically feeling comfortable around you and wanting to spend time with you.

   Here are some of the most common signals:

   • She’s laughing at your jokes
   • She’s smiling, having fun and clearly enjoying your company
   • She’s touching you
   • She’s playing with her hair
   • She’s moisturizing her lips
   • She both listens and talks
   • She clearly tries to impress you
   Oh, there’s a girl on the left?

3. Show her that you like her before kissing her

   A lot of guys have a hard time striking the right balance between being totally shy… And absolutely showering her with compliments.

   What you want to do is to casually let her know that you think she’s cool and that you dig her company.

   You can do this in many ways, but a great way to do it with your body is by having very open body language towards her.

   Being open and vulnerable is a great way to show girls that you aren’t afraid of them as well as showing them that you’re comfortable around them.

   But also don’t be afraid to compliment her if she has done something that genuinely deserves a compliment.

   And even though telling her that she looks great is a bit old, it’s also very effective in getting women to both smile and blush. Pair it with a sly smirk and she won’t be able to resist you…

4. Get comfortable touching each other

   If you’re frequently hugging, holding hands and massaging each other, progressing to kissing isn’t that big of a step. And if there’s one thing that scares people (and girls in particular) away, it’s big steps.

   Take baby steps – right from your first interaction.

   Get comfortable touching her arm, shoulder or back if she says something funny. Get comfortable hugging her when you greet her. And don’t be afraid to kiss her on her chin, either.

   If you’ve known her for a while, you don’t want to do all of this out of nowhere. Simply start touching and flirting more and ramp it up in a natural way.

5. Flirt and tease (her pants off!)

   Flirting is the KEY to EVERYTHING with women. Flirt flirt flirt, and then flirt some more. Get playful, tease her and have fun.

   Being able to flirt the right way will instantly show women that you are a high-caliber, witty, free and confident man. And which woman doesn’t want one of those?

   For more on flirting, read the post “Bantering: Now You Can Get Women, Be Social and Have a Blast at the Same Time“

6. Don’t wait until the last minute

   A very common mistake among men is to wait until the last minute to kiss a girl.

   Sure, it can work, but kissing her before saying goodbye will show her that you won’t hesitate getting what you want. And that’s a very attractive thing.

   You’ll get more nervous the longer you wait to kiss her. Simply eliminate the nervousness by making a bold move earlier on the date, and voila! Problem solved.

7. Don’t ask for permission

   Asking a girl for permission to kiss her is like shooting yourself in the foot… A very bad idea.

   You may actually get the kiss – but she won’t respect you for it …And she definitely won’t find it as sexy as if you’ve just took control and kissed her.

   You need to be ballsy. And it’s not always easy. But it’s the only way to ever kiss a girl.

   Don’t ask for permission – just kiss her.

8. Move slowly into the kiss

   Moving slowly into the kiss will show her that you’re confident (instead of nervous).

   It also has the benefit of calming yourself in the process – making the whole affair much more smooth than had you rushed it.

   Simply move very slowly towards her when you want to kiss her. Use the “3-point kissing gaze” to be absolutely sure of getting that amazing kiss.

9. Use the 3-point kissing gaze

   The 3-point kissing gaze is very simple. Look into her eye, look at her lips, and then look her in the eye again.

   Do it slowly and it works every time. She may even start leaning into you for the kiss automatically herself.

   It works perfect as “foreplay” to the kiss, but you can do it anytime to turn up the heat in the room if you wish.

   Just don’t tease her too much, ‘kay? If she’s just a little unsure of herself (and aren’t we all…) she might get too insecure and lose the attraction for you in the process.

10. Don’t make any of the most common kissing mistakes

    Guys do make a lot of kissing mistakes. Here are some of the most common one’s:

    • Don’t rush the kiss. A kiss is a sensitive and delicate thing – so slow it down. Take your time to really connect with her and find each other’s tempos. Just like you listen to her words when she speaks, you need to listen to her body when you kiss.
    • Be aware of your tongue. French kissing can be incredibly sexy – but only if done right. Unfortunately, many men try to shovel their tongues down the girls throats, and needless to say, this is not what you want to do.

      Again, take it slowly and be very sensitive to how she responds. If she opens her mouth just a little bit, try to do the same. Let the tongue come into play naturally and you’ll be good to go.

    • Fix your bad breath. This one is an easy fix, yet a lot of people seem to think that they don’t belong in this category. My philosophy is that you can’t be too sure. Chewing gum, brushing your teeth and having a glass of water or two will usually do the trick.
    • Don’t open your eyes. While kissing her, that is. Keep them closed and enjoy the kiss instead!
    • Ease up, broseph. Let go of all your tensions while kissing her. Relax your muscles, breathe slowly and you’ll be good to go.
    You only get one chance for a first kiss

11. Give her a kiss to remember

    If you kiss her the right way, she won’t be able to forget you.

    • Kiss her at a romantic spot. Find a nice and romantic spot for your first kiss. As long as you’re relatively private and feel safe, you’re good to go.
    • Use your hands. While using your lips to feel hers, use your hands to discover the rest of her body. Try running them through her hair or pulling her in close. Touching a girl the right way is the key to dialing up the sexual tension between you.
    • Keep ramping up. Stalling is seldom a good thing, and neither is it when it comes to kissing. Keep ramping up the tension and kiss her more passionately – just remember to listen to how her body responds while doing it.
    • Be the leader. Feminine girls are followers energy-wise, so don’t be afraid to lead her. Take charge and let her know that you’re a man.
    • Keep it moist. You don’t want either a dry or a wet kiss. Moist is what we’re going for.
    • Enjoy it. If you truly enjoy it, she most likely will too.

12. Take a chance!

    You can still try to kiss her even though you aren’t absolutely sure that she likes you as much as you like her.

    The fact that you have the balls to try will sometimes even be enough to convince her.

    And a girl will always respect a man for knowing what he wants, and then trying to get it – no matter the result.

    And to be honest, the longer you wait to kiss a girl the harder it also becomes.

    The longer you stay friends, the harder it will be for her to look at you in a romantic way – so take a chance and see what happens!

    With all the kissing tips from this article you will at least know exactly what to both do and don’t – and she most likely haven’t met too many men who can say the same.

    So don’t hesitate. Get out there and kiss her!

FAQ:

What do you talk to a girl about?

Rely on the moment to tell you “what to talk about”; you will never run out of great topics if you’re present in the moment as well as listen to her.

In general, it’s easiest to start of light.

Starting a conversation by asking her about her life philosophy can be cool with some girls, but starting out by talking about something recent, like “how has your day been?” is much easier.

All good conversation starters are situation dependent.

If weekend is coming up you can ask her if she has any interesting plans, if she has just returned from a vacation you can ask her about that etc.

As long as you’re just letting the conversation flow, listening to what she has to say and saying a few interesting things yourself, you’re more than good to go.

What’s the best time to kiss a girl for the first time?

There really is no “best time” to kiss a girl. The best time will always be the time where the attraction between you is peaking – but as you won’t know for sure, you simply have to rely on your gut.

If you’re having fun, flirting and laughing, sometimes a few seconds of silence and gazing into each others eyes occurs. This is a good time to kiss her.

But anytime can work, really. I like to steer away from the cliché of waiting until saying goodbye to kiss a girl for the first time, but even that can work just fine.

Just kiss her at a time where you feel comfortable and relaxed. If you’re relaxed, she’ll be too.

How can I tell if she likes it or not?

If you’re in doubt at all, chance is that she doesn’t like it. If she enjoys the kiss you won’t be in doubt as she won’t stop kissing you. Also listen for small moans to know for sure. But in general, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about as long as she’s not pulling away when you try to kiss her.

What to do if I’m feeling nervous kissing her?

The best thing to do if you’re feeling nervous is to calm down and take a deep breath.

Realize that you really have nothing to be afraid of – and that being nervous will only make whatever bad thing you’re picturing actually come true.

As long as you’re present and open as well as relaxed, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Take a deep breath, and remember to have fun!

Is it OK to kiss on a first date?

Absolutely. If the tension and attraction is there, you have no excuse not to kiss her. The sooner you kiss her, the sooner you find out if you’re compatible and the sooner you get to know if she likes you, too.

Conclusion

If done right, kissing can be a wonderful thing. Follow the tips in this guide and I’m sure that you won’t have anything to worry about.

If you worry about not being able to attrach ze ladies in the first run and not even getting to where you can kiss them, The Tao of Bad Ass is probably for you.

Josh just put up a VERY unconventional video about a simple “hack” you can use to attract way more women. Check out the video by clicking here.

Have any questions, want anything clarified or want to share a cool kissing story? Simply post a comment by using the comment form below.

Here are 11 tips on how NOT to fail your New Year’s resolutions this year:

1. It’s irrelevant which day you set a goal

   Even though New Year’s is a good time to think about the past year and the coming one, setting a goal is something you can do anytime.

   Just because it’s “common practice” doesn’t mean that it’s wise. Set a goal when you’re ready for it, make a plan, and stick with it.

2. Make a plan as soon as you possibly can

   The sooner you can make a plan, the better. If you aren’t an expert in a field, find one who can guide you.

   Without a plan, your gym membership won’t mean anything. And you’ll just end up without any results (no matter what your goal is) and become frustrated instead.

3. Follow it

   This is easier said than done. Having a plan without following it is like making a sandwich without eating it. What’s the point??

   That’s also why you have to make a realistic plan. Don’t set the bar too high before even starting – you can always do something more or better later on.

   Right now the important thing is to get into the habit and just do it.

4. Take a step back

   Instead of setting a resolution for getting something like that job promotion you have been wanting for the past months, try to take a step back and see the bigger picture instead.

   Reflect on what you really want. You might just realize that a promotion actually wouldn’t change the fact that you aren’t that interested in your work – and would rather do something entirely different.

5. Be honest with yourself

   The most important thing when setting a goal is to be honest with yourself right from the beginning. Before setting a goal, you have to be very clear on the why and the what. Why are you doing this? What’s your real motivation? And is this the best way to go about it?

   The classic example is on losing weight. You may want to lose five pounds, but what’s the best way to go about it? There are several options.

   Choosing to start a running regimen spanning over 16 weeks with 4 grueling sessions a week might not be necessary – and definitely not if you hate running.

   Simply going for an one hour walk three times a week might be sufficient – or just avoid eating a bag of Dorritos every night.

   So first you have to be clear on what you want. And then why you want it.

6. Is this what you want?

   If it’s your friends, your girlfriend, your family or society as a whole who wants something for you, you have to be really careful. Even though what they think is important, you have to be the one who wants something, not them.

   The motivation has to come from within.

   You are the one who has to want it. And you have to want it bad.

   Be clear on the why, too. Wanting to lose a few pounds because you want to look good this summer is great. But what about wanting to lose a few pounds because you don’t want to have such low self-esteem?

   This is where honesty kicks in again.

   Wanting to get a bigger income is great. But if you only want a bigger income so you can buy a bigger car so you can get a girl who then only likes you because you’re rich… It might be useful to reconsider.

7. Know that it’s not free

   Nothing is free in this world, and if you want something bad, you have to pay the price. Everything has consequences.

   If you want to spend more time on anything, that time has to come from somewhere else. Less sleep, less TV or less time with your family – that’s up to you.

   Don’t be scared of by it, just be aware that if you’re starting on some plan that will have you spend 10 hours a week on something, that time won’t be free.

   But that doesn’t mean that it’s any less worth it.

8. Start with the smallest manageable step

   If you’re starting on something that gives you just the slightest feeling of overwhelmingness, start with the smallest step.

   I hate waking up in the morning. Knowing that I have a long day in front of me is not the nicest thought when I am all cuddled up in my pillows, I’m tired, and my girlfriend has another 30 minutes before she has to get up.

   So that’s why I just start with telling myself that I’ll take one leg out of the bed.
   And then the other.
   And suddenly, I’m up!

   If I had “started” with “getting up, I probably would have slept a few more hours. But if I start with a very small step, like taking one leg out of the bed, the next step suddenly seems easier.

   It works with everything – see this blog post called “A Bulletproof Technique for Meeting More Women, Writing Job Applications and Getting Things Done” for more.

9. Go slow

   Going slow is just as important as starting with the smallest step. If you go slow, you’re in it for the long run.

   Going slow will show yourself and others that this is the new you – whatever it is – and that it’s going to stay.

   If you try to power through by doing something extreme, it most likely won’t stick. I am talking from experience here.

   Crash diet? Won’t work in the long run.

   A small lifestyle change? Massive impact over time.

   A few small lifestyle changes will trump crash strategies every time.
   

10. Use punishments and rewards

    Most goals and plans work the best when there are real rewards for doing what you want to do and real punishments if you fail.

    It has been shown time and time again that people in general care more about losing a dollar than earning one. Taking something from someone means much more than giving the same amount.

    But I like to use both a reward and a punishment when it comes to goal setting – only using punishments for motivation is just plain cruel.

    Like: “If I follow through with my plan and stick to doing x for y weeks, I will treat myself and my girlfriend to eat at my favorite restaurant and get the big a** steak and take three days off from work and do nothing but watching Californication. But if I fall off the plan, I have to donate $100 to Scientology.”

    Anything goes, really, as long as the reward is something you really want and the punishment is something you really don’t want.

11. Have someone hold you accountable

    This ties in with the punishment part of tip 10.

    If no one know’s what you’re doing, why you’re doing it or what will happen if you don’t, the chance of actually following through with it will be minuscule. (Statistically speaking, of course, I know that you have the will-power of a mountain..)

    So get someone to hold you accountable. It can be your partner, your friend or a family member. It can even be someone you don’t know personally – like me or the Just Keep The Change community.

So let’s hold each other accountable. Let’s revisit this post on January 2013 in 255 days.

Write your New Year’s resolution in the comment section so we can all help each other. I’ll go first.

Oh. And that reminded me. It’s actually very very important to be able to track progress on whatever it is that you want to do. Not all things are trackable by nature, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

• And if you want to know where to start with getting over your ex girlfriend, The Ex Girlfriend Solution is a good place.
• If you want to become a bad ass with women, check out the Tao of Bad Ass.
• For losing fat around the belly and showing your hidden six-pack, I recommend this video from Fat Loss Factor.
• And lastly, for putting on some muscle this year, watch the video from Muscle Maximizer. It really doesn’t have to be more difficult than that.
]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/11-tips-to-not-fail-your-new-years-resolutions-this-year/feed/ 5 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-top-10-jktc-blog-posts-of-all-time/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-top-10-jktc-blog-posts-of-all-time/#comments Wed, 26 Dec 2012 19:45:16 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2457 For Just Keep The Change, 2012 has been a crazy year. Both readership and engagement have increased more than I could dream of and my passion for this project has never been greater.

As you may have noticed, the site has also been given a complete make-over. I have always wanted to make the reading experience of JKTC as pleasing as possible, and I feel like this iteration is a huge step closer to that goal.

But please do let me know what you think – we’re still tweaking some things to find the ideal balance.

To get back on track, here is my list of the top blog posts from JKTC of all time. The list is based on the popularity of the articles as well as the quality. Enjoy!

–

#10 Be a Great Kisser – How To REALLY Kiss a Girl

When you kiss, two souls connect on a very deep level. You’re extremely vulnerable when you kiss. And this is a guide on how to REALLY kiss a girl – including a bulletproof technique as well as 5 timeless tips. Also don’t miss 5 Tips on Kissing Passionately from 5 Women.

Read “Be a Great Kisser – How To REALLY Kiss a Girl”

#9 Why You Can’t Be Friends with Your Ex after the Break Up – And the No Contact Rule

“You could write a PhD dissertation about the no contact rule and getting over a girl. This, however, is designed to be a quick read that hopefully will give men (read: you!) a fast-acting shot of empathy and momentary strength from realizing that what they are experiencing is something experienced by mankind as a collective and therefore not insurmountable.”

Read “Why You Can’t Be Friends with Your Ex after the Break Up – And the No Contact Rule”

#8 Do You Make This Crucial Mistake When Calling a Girl for the First Time?

“Have you ever wondered at what point you should call a girl after getting her number? Call too soon and you will be seen as desperate and needy,
call too late and she will have lost interest, or forgot you.”

Read “Do You Make This Crucial Mistake When Calling a Girl for the First Time?”

#7 Dealing With Her Tests – How to Gain Instant Attraction

“A woman will always test you. She will test you for your masculinity, she will test for your strength; she will test to see if you’re (still) the man she’s seeks and craves.

Testing men is a woman’s secret tool. She wants you to pass the tests, but she will make it as difficult for you as she can.”

Read “Dealing With Her Tests – How to Gain Instant Attraction”

#6 12 Effective (and Slightly Badass) Ways to be the Sexiest Guy in the Room

“Who wouldn’t love to be the guy that every girl stares after? You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney to be attractive in women’s eyes, although it would help, it isn’t necessary. You just have to have a certain attitude to life; that’s all.

In this post I’m going to give you 12 Effective (and Slightly Badass) Ways to be the Sexiest Guy in the Room.”

Read “12 Effective (and Slightly Badass) Ways to be the Sexiest Guy in the Room”

#5 How to Make Your Future Girlfriend Like You for Who You Are (And Where to Meet Her!)

“This post answers the question “I don’t have a problem getting dates with girls, but I have a problem getting them to stick around and keeping them interested. How do I keep them intrigued, and how do I get it to go as far as to evolve into a relationship?””

Read “How to Make Your Future Girlfriend Like You for Who You Are (And Where to Meet Her!)”

#4 How to Get a Fantastic Girlfriend

“In my experience, what guys ultimately want when it comes to dating is a fantastic girlfriend. Sure, some guys enjoy dating a lot of different women, having several casual relationship etc., but what the majority wants is actually a girl who likes them for who they are, who they can hang out with and have fun indefinitely and who turns them on and makes them want to be better men.”

Read “How to Get a Fantastic Girlfriend”

#3 Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close

“A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.”

This post is about striking the balance between the bad boy and the nice guy and become the perfect lover. And who wouldn’t want to be that?

Read “Why Bad Boys Get All the Hot Women, and Nice Guys Don’t Even Come Close”

#2 How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend

The post that started the avalanche. If you have a few days to spare, try to get through all the comments!

Kidding aside, there are some very valuable lessons in the discussion.

Read “How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend”

#1 The 12 Undeniable Rules of Successful Dating

#1 is also a list post. But a very good one. The 12 rules covers both internal things (like learning to accept and move on), external things (like knowing how to move and how to kiss) and the things that fall in between – honesty, for example.

This post is a very good place to start your journey around Just Keep The Change – or to be read as a refresher and a reminder from time to time. I myself read it every few months and check up on how I am doing. Very recommended!

Read “The 12 Undeniable Rules of Successful Dating”

–

That’s it everybody.

With 2012 in the rear-view, and 2013 upon us, I figured these posts would keep you entertained and informed for the new year. Hopefully, entertained enough to peel yourself away from partycasino.com for a little while anyways.

Have a great New Year’s eve (perhaps check out the post “How to Have Someone to Kiss on New Year’s Eve”!), take care of yourselves and have an AMAZING year 2013!

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-top-10-jktc-blog-posts-of-all-time/feed/ 1 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend-email-course-is-now-open/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend-email-course-is-now-open/#comments Sun, 09 Dec 2012 15:39:45 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2235 I have been working on an email course for the past few weeks for the guys out there who are having a hard time getting over their ex girlfriends.

In short, it’s a easy-to-follow system on getting over your ex. It consists of both guides on the most common and pressing problems related to break ups as well as success stories highlighting how some of my students have gotten over their ex’s – as well as what to avoid doing.

If you would like to finally get this part of your life handled, don’t hesitate to use either the form in the sidebar to the right or the form below this post.

Simply enter your email address and you will get the first lesson (out of 21 – so far) immediately.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty excited about this. And did I mention that it’s free?

See you there,
Alex

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend-email-course-is-now-open/feed/ 2 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-most-underrated-way-to-do-anything-is/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-most-underrated-way-to-do-anything-is/#comments Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:25:40 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2227 The Most Underrated Way to Do Anything Is… To walk. Without a doubt.

I have taken some of the most difficult and important decisions in my life while walking.
I have fallen in love while walking.
Thrown away the day-to-day stress while walking.
Reached the stillness and peace needed for self-discovery and deep creativity while walking.
Reviewed whether or not I am where I want to be in my life – and what to do if I am not – while walking.
And gotten over lost love while walking.

There are countless benefits to walking.

What’s yours?

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/the-most-underrated-way-to-do-anything-is/feed/ 1 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-keep-your-girlfriend-from-leaving-you-and-choosing-you-over-anything/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-keep-your-girlfriend-from-leaving-you-and-choosing-you-over-anything/#comments Sat, 10 Nov 2012 11:22:35 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2188 How to make your girlfriend choose you over anything and never ever leave you… I’ll admit it. That’s a pretty bold claim. But nonetheless, it is what today’s article is going to teach you.

This is a subject on which there could be written so much that it could fill a whole library of books… And there has. But that’s NOT what I want to do today.

Dating “experts” often make it too darn complicated. It really doesn’t have to be rocket science to get a great girl and keep her.

Because that is what you want, right?

How to guarantee that she won’t ever leave you…

The only way to guarantee that your girlfriend won’t ever leave you is to give her exactly what she looks for in a man. If you’re able to do that, she will never have the need to try anything else.

This will of course be different for every girl on the planet, but in my experience, there are…

Four things that every woman on earth are looking for:

1. Excitement

This is numero uno baby. No excitement, no fun, no sexiness, no humor = No relationship, señor!

If you aren’t fun to be around, she isn’t going to stick around. It’s as simple as that.

So, keep a sly smile. Be witty. Joke around. Don’t be too concerned about what people think about you. Be a little reckless. Be sexy. Do something out of the ordinary. surprise her.

And most important of all: Be present!

2. Stability & trust

Stability and trust without excitement equals boredom, but if you mix the two, you have a very potent combination.

When you add the stability component to your relationship, you lay some very serious building blocks.

Before she can trust you, you have to do everything in your power to keep your word every single time. No excuses and no exceptions. Stability comes naturally when you do this over time.

This is the long-term one. The “meet the parents” one. And the one that makes everything else so much better.

3. Understanding & acceptance

She has to feel loved and accepted.

If you don’t understand her and accept her completely, your relationship will never be as deep or fulfilling as it can possibly be.

You have to love every single thing about her. From her toes to the top of her head and everything over, under and in-between.

4. Responsibility & honesty

You have to be able to take responsibility for your own life. Having a direction and having the courage to act on it is alpha-omega for long-term love.

It all boils down to your self-worth. If you have a problem but choose not to fix it (i.e. you need to lose a few pounds, but grab the chips instead) she won’t ever be able to trust you completely.

And before she can be the women that makes you want to be a good man, she needs to feel secure with you. She needs to trust you. But she only trusts you when you trust yourself. That’s where it starts.

Honesty is just as important, and none of all this advice can work if you are unable to be open to her. If you can’t be honest, she won’t be, either, and it’s never going to work.

Conclusion

Do you see how these four traits go together and strengthen each other?

When you accept her more, she will be more open for excitement, which will lead to the trust in the relationship increasing, which will lead to you taking more responsibility because you feel more masculine and because your confidence grows… And the list goes on.

When these four things are in place, she won’t have a choice but to fall in love with you and stay in love with you.

If you can do all this for your girlfriend, she will never get the idea to even think about trying greener pastures… Because yours will be as green as it gets.

Here’s a longer article explaining a lot of the concepts in further detail: “The 12 Undeniable Rules of Successful Dating”… You may also want to check out the article “How to Get a Fantastic Girlfriend”.

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-keep-your-girlfriend-from-leaving-you-and-choosing-you-over-anything/feed/ 3 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/what-to-do-when-your-girlfriend-wants-to-be-single-but-wants-you-too/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/what-to-do-when-your-girlfriend-wants-to-be-single-but-wants-you-too/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2012 11:44:02 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2172 Two days ago, I received a devastating email from a guy named Lamar outlining his relationship’s current situation. He had been with his girlfriend since they were 16, but now that they are into their young twenties, she has expressed a want for being single again.

Sad thing is that Lamar doesn’t feel the same way – he thinks that she’s the one, and that he isn’t missing anything by being with her. Quite the opposite, actually. He thinks that if he were to be single, he would immediately search for a relationship such as the one he already has.

But she’s confused. She wants to be single and live free for a while. But she doesn’t want to lose Lamar.

And that’s the basis for today’s post – what to do when your girlfriend wants to be single… But wants you, too.

She wants to live the single life

It’s a very common scenario for couples who have been together from a very young age… At some point, she misses the feeling of being free and being single. She feels desperate. She feels that her life is flying right past her.

So she takes action.

She breaks up with you. And you’re devastated. Your high-school sweetheart wants to “experience life fully” –without you.

But… She still wants you.

She probably still calls you once in a while. Perhaps you even meet up. You miss her like hell. And she misses you, too.

But she can’t decide. She still doesn’t want to miss out. But she still wants the love and stability that you have provided her for so long.

What to do

The thing that I ALWAYS want you to do is to be REALLY sure of what you want before you ever do anything. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get it. Simple as that.

Without knowing where you want to go, you’ll fumble in the dark until you figure it out.

I can’t talk for everybody, but I can say that the most wanted thing is to be happy. And in this example, that would include her to be happy, too. So let’s use this for our case for simplicity’s sake.

You want you both to be happy. As she clearly isn’t happy right now, something needs to change. Her reaction is to break up to feel free.

Kind of radical, but radical is what you do when you’re desperate.

Anyway, your first reaction is most likely to be hurt. Why aren’t you suddenly not good enough anymore?

…Howdy sailor, let us take a step back!

Even though I advocate feeling hurt when you’re hurt and experiencing it fully and honestly… I don’t think that you NEED to feel hurt in this situation. And do you know why?

Because it isn’t your fault!

It really isn’t. If she feels “left out”, you really didn’t have much to do with it. Sure, you always play a small part, but usually it is extremely small. Therefore, you really don’t need to blame yourself.

Instead of feeling hurt, I really recommend that you look at the situation a little less emotionally.

She needs you. But she wants something else. Preferably at the same time.

In other words, she is confused like hell. She has NO IDEA what she is doing…

Because of this, and because she is a woman, she needs you to give her some kind of direction.

And because of this… It is ULTRA-important that you are the rock in all this.

Being a rock means two things:

1. Knowing what you want
2. And taking action on it

Both without any direct emotion. Cool like a rock.

What that means for you…

It means that if you found out that you want you both to be happy, you give her that space.

You tell her:

“Baby, I’m really sorry that I can’t give you everything you need. So I let you go. Do what you need to do to feel happy. Party. Date around. Live wild. If you haven’t ever done it, now is the time. But you need to know this: You can’t have me at the same time. It’s either or. And I completely understand the need you have to be free, and because of that, I actually think that it’s best that we take some time apart.”

This will probably make her even more confused than she was before. But at least know she knows where YOU stand – now she just needs to figure out where SHE stands.

And that’s where you tell her:

“But I really love you, and I have always envisioned a future with you and me together. And that’s why I hope that you will see the same thing as me one day where the freedom doesn’t feel so appealing anymore. Let’s talk again when you have made your decision – I just want you to be happy.”

This way, she knows that you’ll still be there. And I think that you should be. If you truly love her, you should give her the chance to taste the apple if she never has. Because if she has that desire, she will always want to do it, even if you won’t “allow” her to do it now.

Doing like this is risky, but to me, it’s the best way to handle her wanting or needing freedom. You have to give her the chance. Encourage her, even. If you don’t, she may get the same urge in five years’ time, and the mess will be relatively bigger.

So do it with love. Do it with respect. And she will love you and respect you for it – no matter what her final decision is.

And chance is, she tries out the freedom thing for a few days. Perhaps she goes on a date. And it feels horrible to her.

You’ll then laugh about her silliness a week later over a cozy dinner like you used to do. And her need to act out and be free will be gone forever.

–

Soon, I’ll publish part two titled “How to make your girlfriend choose you over anything and never ever leave you” which will teach you how to make sure that she will never want to try anything else than being with you.

The next step…

If you haven’t yet checked out “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution”, now is the time. If you have ANY troubles with your ex-girlfriend, chances are that you will find that magic bullet that you so desperately need in the ebook.

And if you don’t, you’ll get every cent back with the 90 day 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go find that magic bullet now!

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/what-to-do-when-your-girlfriend-wants-to-be-single-but-wants-you-too/feed/ 0 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/are-you-making-this-common-mistake-when-trying-to-get-your-ex-back/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/are-you-making-this-common-mistake-when-trying-to-get-your-ex-back/#comments Mon, 24 Sep 2012 12:25:27 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2158 Have you ever been in this situation: You want your ex to “forgive everything” and “take you back”, all at once?…

If you have, this little nugget of wisdom may prove to be a huge “Aha!” moment.

Going too far, too fast

What I see all the time is both guys and girls trying to get back together with their ex’s – and in that itself, I don’t see a problem. The problem only arises when these guys and girls try to get too far too fast.

See, often they try to get their ex to “give them a new chance” or “to patch everything up” ALL AT ONCE…

When in fact they should take much smaller steps instead.

Getting back together is big business for both of you, and depending on the break-up, it might not be easy. But it does not have to be difficult, either.

You just have to be patient!

Even though you feel ready, you can’t take for granted that your ex feels the same way.

You have to give him or her time and YOU HAVE TO take baby steps to get to where you want to go!

So instead of taking that huge talk of moving back in the apartment and going to back square one or wherever you left off, why don’t you just go for a walk instead and talk about the things that you used to talk about?

Don’t make it feel forced

You don’t have to act like you’re still a couple in the sense of touch and romance, but keep the same tone and level of banter that you used to.

The gist of getting your ex back as I see it is to act like you’re still in a relationship… Without ever mentioning that you’re acting this way or talking about the fact that you’re actually not together anymore.

Make the relationship feel real

Only when the “relationship” feels real in your ex’s head again can you begin to talk more openly about “getting back together”… Because only then will it feel natural and not forced…

So instead of getting back together, why don’t you grab a coffee with her? With no strings attached. The less it feels like a “proper date”, the better. Think more about it like two friends getting together talking about everything and nothing – like friends usually do. “Fun” and “without stress” are the keywords here.

Let her come to you

Let her come to you instead of chasing her. Take it slow and take it one step at a time. Only then will you succeed as well as plant the seed for the relationship to flourish in the future.

This is only a teaser of what I have of tips and tricks for you to get back together with your ex. Let me know in the comments what you think!

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/are-you-making-this-common-mistake-when-trying-to-get-your-ex-back/feed/ 2 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-overcome-depression-and-add-10-years-to-your-life-by-playing-a-game/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-overcome-depression-and-add-10-years-to-your-life-by-playing-a-game/#comments Sun, 19 Aug 2012 13:46:31 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=2057 While browsing TED I found a really interesting video called “The game that can give you 10 extra years of life”. I decided to watch it, and after doing so, I knew that I just HAD to share it with you guys.

In short, it’s about how the author (Jane McGonigal) got through a very tough and dark period in her life by …playing a game.

If you feel depressed, sad or like your life is not moving forward the way it should be, I think that you will like this video. And if you don’t – it’s still darn interesting.

As a bonus, just for watching it, you will earn 7.5 minutes of life. Yep, 7.5 minutes.

See for yourself what it’s all about here:

What do you think?

]]> http://www.justkeepthechange.com/how-to-overcome-depression-and-add-10-years-to-your-life-by-playing-a-game/feed/ 4 http://www.justkeepthechange.com/7-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-sleep-with-your-ex-girlfriend/ http://www.justkeepthechange.com/7-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-sleep-with-your-ex-girlfriend/#comments Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:14:41 +0000 Alex Kay http://www.justkeepthechange.com/?p=1853 If you’re thinking about seducing your ex girlfriend (because you’re going through a dry-period, perhaps?) think about these 7 reasons why you shouldn’t, first.
1. It will bring back old memories
   Sleeping with your ex girlfriend is bound to make you once again think of all your old memories of you and her. That time at the beach, your first kiss, you know what I mean. Even if you just try to do one last “hit ‘n’ run”, the memories will come flashing back some day.
2. It’s not going to feel the same
   Spending a night in her bed will never feel the same as it once did. What made the sex special is most unlikely gone, and sleeping with her will most likely not be much different than sleeping with any other girl.
3. You will develop feelings for her again
   It is very likely that having sex with your ex is going to make you develop feelings for her once again. It’s not absolutely given, but in my experience, it is very unlikely that you won’t.
4. She will become confused
   Whatever the reason for you suddenly having a night together after the break-up, her mind will be running on full throttle afterwards thinking about all sorts of possibilities; Do you want her back? Does she want you back? Was it a mistake?
5. You will be confused, too
   And you will be asking yourself most of those questions, too, I’m afraid.. Which basically means that there’s a good chance that you end up more frustrated than before.
6. It delays the process
   After sleeping with your ex it is certain that the process of you moving on and getting on with your life will be delayed considerably.
7. Different expectations
   The chance is small for you both to have the same expectations of a hook-up. Perhaps she sees it as a sign that you still like her and you see it as a sign that you are now definitely through. Whatever you think, it is unlikely that she thinks the same.

But if you still want to sleep with your ex…

• Avoid eating together, watching movies or doing anything that resembles a date
  This is a no-brainer. If you want to get back together, you should take action to do so. But if you just want to sleep with her (and nothing else!), don’t make things harder by making her think that there’s more to it than just that.
• Don’t talk about what you used to have together
  Keep it strictly business. You know what I mean.
• Never pass up the chance to meet someone new so you can be with your ex
  It’s a very big sign that you’re beginning to fall for her again if you’re passing up a chance to be with someone new to be with her instead.

And know that there is a good chance that one of you (or both) will be hurt. But… if you’re willing to take that chance, go for it. But don’t come back and say that I didn’t warn you.

P.S. There’s also reason number eight: She is not the only hot girl on the planet, the only one that “gets you” or whatever you’re telling yourself. The world is filled with cute girls – so get out there while you can!

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