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[Brent G]

Alex and Other JKTC Memembers

BGOODZ is in dire need of help!
Its not really serious but however, it is something thats been messesing me up a whole two years.
OKay
So heres my story:

There is this girl, that i dont know her name. I see her everyday in high school, shes a few meters away from me down the hall at our lockers. She is SMOKING beautiful! She has long, brown hair that is milk choclate dark. Goregous bright blue eyes that just stun me and can give a buffed man shivers. She has a perfect fit on her body, also she seems real intellecutual. She tries really hard in school, on the school council and on sometimes on other stuff involving in our school. All of that HOLY CRAP TURN ON!

She gives me looks across every now and then. Her eyes look at me, an expression on her face that isn't disturbed or happily curious. It was blank or normal.

Problem is She has a Twin Sister. AND she might be all of that stuff i just said. What i can identify is that 1 gives me the looks and the other just dosen't look me as much. Or MAYBE they both look at me sometimes.

I really am shy to talk to them to identify the interesting one, they are in the Senior Grade, and I am in the Mid Junior Grade. (Gr. 12 her, Gr.10) and Its going to be probably the last year in my life I am going to see her.

I have seen her (or them) a million times, and its always a joy to see her, even though i dont show it or tell her it.

My advice i need is, what should i do??:

Talk with her and see if things will lead somewhere

or ignore her and accept Someone like me isnt ready or able to be with someone like that

NEED HELP AND ADVICE??!!!!!!

[Scott D]

Captain Obvious says, "Just go say hi!"

Seriously, if she glances over at you as often as you say she does, it means she's noticed you. She thinks something every time she sees you. The difficult part here is knowing whether you have her approval yet or not. In your case, I'd wager that her "blank or normal" stares are a good thing--they definitely could be worse!

Next time you get the chance, just walk up to her and introduce yourself. You said she's on the school council, so she probably has contributed to some activity recently, like a dance or something. Give her a subtle compliment on that, or just ask a question about an activity coming up. Say something like, "Excuse me? Hi, I'm Brent, you're on the school council right? Did you have anything to do with that awesome dance last weekend?" And then you can go from there.

I'm assuming you don't have any classes together since you are in different grades, and she will be graduating after this year, which both kind of work in your favor. If things don't go as well as planned, you won't have to see her anymore so it won't be awkward, right? Just take a chance man. Besides, you never know, that blank stare she keeps giving you could be a mask of hope that you'll approach her. 

[Brent G]

Thanks for replying Scott!

Just saying Hi is what i should do, But it is amazingly hard for me and others who are shy! I just need to take a leap of faith, I guess. Also, I love the tip about her being on the school council thing, if something happens like a school event and I see her help out on it, soon as possible, I'll compliment her on that and see where I can go from there. But the part that sucks is, I missed that chance, Twice! But I still got to try.

But Scott, blank or normal stares could mean either, yes, maybe she notices me and thinks something every time she sees me, but that could be negative thoughts too, as in "Why is that guy looking at me?" OR even, she is staring into space or daydreaming lol!

There was this one time, One of the twins, walked passed me alone in the hall, no one else in there except me and her, I soon noticed it was the "interested" one once she kinda shy walking past me, I was mad at myself not able to talk, but that shyness showed maybe she is 2 shy herself 2 talk 2 me? Or was it awkwardness, I do NOT know...

Anyways, You put out great points Scott!

However, does anyone else have another way of talking to her, other tips and tricks just in case? Or does anyone think the blank or normal stare is a postive or negative one?

[Alex]

Scott, dude, I love your advice.

I'll also say go for it Brent!

Don't think about what the stare means, it really doesn't matter.

To break the ice, you can also bring up the topic of her and her twin sister. Ask her how you can tell them apart? Because they're equally cute

Just go talk to her, that's all there is to it. Tomorrow is your day!

[Brent G]

Tommrow Is MY DAY lol

Another good tip by the famous Alex.

Yes, I just need to just talk to her, that's all!

It is hard to pass the phase of shyness, and cross the line to be victorious.

But we all go through it, with either talking to girls or anything else. I need this, this girl is way too special and interesting to me

This is all interesting, Thanks for the advice!

But whoever can give me more tips, tricks or just talk about situations like this that are similar and you successfully passed or wished too, Please tell! Its always great to know someone feels the way I feel and is trying to do better or is doing better now.

Thanks again, Fellow JKTC Members!

[Alex]

It's funny how you knew the answer yourself all along - sometimes you just need a slight push to get in the right direction...

One last tip would be to breathe. Breeeaaatheee! It's sososososo important. Breathe as deep as possible before you walk over to her, breathe while you walk, and breathe while you talk. That way, you won't even get nervous

Let us know how it goes!

[Brent G]

Alex and Scott, i conjured up all your tips and advice,
but my attempt to talk to the beauty was a failure
But among the trouble, was A sign from God! lol

Listen, It was at the end of school, everyone was leaving, same with me, and I saw her across the hall, I knew it was her, she changed her hairstyle, which was different from her sister, and because of that I saw her do stuff with the School Council, meaning: She's the nice, interested one, the one I'm looking for! So, I breathed calmly as I could to depress the shyness, the obsucre feeling you get in your stomach, the butterflies, I guess. And I thought, just got to smile, so I smiled, just got think of something to say, took Alex's tip of asking the comparsion betweeen her and her twin sister for a conversation starter. (Scott, I promise you I will use your tip next time, don't worry about it lol) But I had to tie my shoe, it helped, gave me more time to develop a plan to make our first conversation interesting and make my first impression rewarding.

And Unexpectedly, She called my name!

"Hey Brent?!"

I got the shivers and huge pump of adrenline spiking everywhere in my body, fear devoured me of my next move. I was confused, how did she know my name? and excited, She knows my name!

But when I rose, it was another guy she called, and I was sad a little, so, I thought another time, and walked to the bus.

So, I thought about it, Is what happened, A sign from the almighty one upstairs? A sign that she will call my name soon and more??

What do you guys think, You think I'm going crazy or it's a sign? Have you ever had signs from God to tell you something important about the women you are dating or love? Were they Good signs or Bad Signs? Did following the signs lead to promising futures?

Also, was my approach good in a way?? Smiling and breathing calmy? Was it a Good Start??

Please fellow JKTC Members, answering my questions will help me and others who might be in the situation, or just have questions about these things.

Thanks for reading,

Brent

[Alex]

Yes Brent, good job... That was your first step! Smiling and breathing, those are key. Once again, good job

As for the sign, don't worry about it. Make of it what you want - if I were you, I would probably use it to my advantage... Like, when you talk to her, casually mention that (x days ago) you thought she called you! It could work, don't know, give it a spin if you like.

It's just very important that you talk to her, maybe bring a friend? It's beneficial to some - do it if it makes you feel more secure.

And yes, this is a good start. Nothing is lost. Give it all you have.

God bless 

[Adam]

Now this might sound counter-intuitive, but in your case I think it might just work.

I think we've all been in the situation where we get so worked up over how amazing a girl is, it gets swelled to giant proportions in our heads, like she's a goddess, like she's above you. This is why you find it hard to talk to her, why you get the pounding heart and the butterflies.

So here's my solution.

Stop caring about her.

I know it sounds weird, and I don't mean you need to be rude or ignorant of her, far from it. I just mean this, stop thinking of her like the incredible, out-of-this-world girl she is to you, and start thinking of her like someone you just don't feel that way about. You may have friends who are girls, who you have no trouble talking to at all, you don't get worked up thinking about what you are going to say, you just say whatever you like.

And its this tactic you need to use. Next time you see her, get into this mindset; I'm gonna say hi to her, I don't care what she says back or if she walks away, it doesn't matter to me at all, but i'm gonna say hi because i want to.

That's it, basically, just treat her like someone you aren't particularly bothered about. If she's as beautiful as you say then this will have the bonus of being different to how other guys treat her. She will see so many guys getting shaky and nervous and obsessive, and then there's you acting completely indifferent.

And thats how you get her; she starts to think 'who is this guy that isn't kissing my feet like the others?'

Long answer, i am rambling slightly to avoid a paper that needs writing! I'd say good luck, but you don't need it. It's gonna come from inside you.

[Brent G]

Its soo ironic how i just gave similar advice 2 someone else on this forum

Yes i know that tactic and it has worked for many

Say Hi, but not cause i really want to talk her because shes A great beautiful women and I need to talk to her
but just say hi cause I wanna say Hi

I'll try that

Thanks a bunch!

[Scott D]

Its soo ironic how i just gave similar advice 2 someone else on this forum

It's always easier when you are backseat-driving, isn't it? I think we all have that problem. In theory, we know what we should do, but when it comes time to act, many of us falter. It's good to have other guys to help guide us into doing what we know we should, though. I also think Adam (and you, Brent) is entirely correct in this matter.

[Brent G]

Thanks alot, Scott
It's great to help others really. And yes your right we know what we should do, but its easier said then done but we have to try our best.
Also, I find what happened to us before, we learn from and when others are in similar situation We help one another
because we know what we should do or shouldve done
So that person in that same situation will be victorious!
So, my fellow JKTC Members, tell us your stories of what you need help in
and eventually one of us might know the answer of your problem
We are all solutions here to people's problems with dating, ex-girlfriend, etc.
We just got to help

[Adam]

You're right, even though its so important to learn from your own mistakes, if you can learn from someone else's mistake first then thats gotta be a bonus!

You're right about the forum though, it'd be nice to have a few more people, just to get quicker and more numerous replies if anything, but I like the fact its just a group of mature guys giving each other help. And yes, I have just realised how wrong that sounds! You catch my drift anyway.

[Alex]

You're right about the forum though, it'd be nice to have a few more people, just to get quicker and more numerous replies if anything, but I like the fact its just a group of mature guys giving each other help. And yes, I have just realised how wrong that sounds! You catch my drift anyway.

Haha Adam!

[Brent G]

Guess Who TALKED To The Beautiful Girl!!!!!!
Yes! I did it sort of
but its a start!
I was at a school dance for grades 9s and 10s, and I didnt expect her to be there 2 supervise it, but once I saw, I instantly knew it was the nice twin Grade 12 girl, So i HAD 2 talk with her.
Only it didnt go far.
She was at a food bar, and I asked what was there. God, she was so cute! lol She danced a little too! And DAMN, could she move! I wanted to grind but I was afraid that I would risk alot of things, even though she was nice.
Also! With a group of friends, she wanted us to rate how the dance was, I gave it my highest rating to see if she would thank me for it but all i got was a good thank you. She was asking more questions but Unfortunately, my brother came to pick me up.
I thought at first she wouldnt notice me and ask me 2 vote but she DID!

Good thing about tonight, I learned she is real nice. And real nice girls are easy to have conversations with, Most wont judge before talking with!
So Phase 1 complete
Phase 2, having a conversation off topic from school
Phase 3, Getting her Number and HOPEFULLY A date!
Anyone think I did a good job for starters? Anyone think of what I should say to her next??
Please tell, would like to have more feedback!