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Author Topic: NEED ADVICE  (Read 4283 times)

Alex

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2009, 11:53:03 PM »
Good job Brent. You know what to do next. Maybe compliment her on her dancing skills, could work. Not in a too sly, sexual way, of course.

Let us know how it goes. It took some cojones to talk to her.  Nice :)
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #16 on: May 29, 2009, 03:41:59 PM »
Its crazy how long ago i wrote that story, and I'm still begging again for the same advice.
However the situation is different from before.
School is almost ENDING
And guess whos graduating and probably wont be ever able 2 seeing again...
I am in need of the utmost greatest advice ever gave 2 man on how i can talk with this girl and be able to lead somehow of all of it into a relationship.
My mind has been crazy over her for a very long time. And Now time is almost up for me to talk with her.
(Read the previous stories before if you dont understand the details)
Everyone, i need a strategy, some way of talking to this girl, something to say or do...
Cuz i am resorting to love letters.
And Those never worked out for me, Me + Love letters = bad history

So, 2 help u on crafting good advice, i can give u some details, I see this girl almost everyday of skool, We r down the hall across for lockers. She is very beautiful, and for what she does for the school and how i see her study, very intelligent, and with lots of friends talking 2 her, maybe a great personality. I thought she is out of league, but I think she is too great to not give it a try to talk. However, when i am ready to talk, she is always busy, n when Im not ready, she is open 2 chat. I tried everything, trying to get friends who know 2 be introduced to facebook friend request (which maybe she never got, maybe her twin sis got it instead which im hoping for cuz i dun want it to ruin things) But I HAVE TRIED!!!  LOL
So, fellow JKTC MEMEMBERS, Give me advice you wished u wouldve got, cuz for this girl i would try anything 2 help me push me closer to the opprotunity of hving her in my life and having a relatonship with her.
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #17 on: June 02, 2009, 02:23:10 PM »
Really guys, i really need your help
I'm down to my last resort of plans
I'm going to message her on Facebook and hopefully some good comes out of it.
Talking not face to face is real bad but it will have to doo
Please read my post before this one, and give me advice, anything will help.
and help a fellow JKTC Member out!!!!
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JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2009, 11:55:24 AM »
OK, I'm not too experienced, but maybe this might help anyway.

So, if I've read & understand this all correctly, you guys aren't what one would call friends or so, but you know each other, you're introduced to one another. By the way, she was asking questions: who exactly? All of you guys? Or was she targeting you specifically? In the latter case, that's NICE: she's already quite interested in you. The former doesn't really say much, so I'd say you definitely should try to get a 1-on-1-conversation with her asap.

Or a 1-on-2-conversation, where the 2 is: she and a girl friend of hers. That's a situation I find myself most relaxed in: you get to talk to both of them, so anxiety/nervousness tends to have less of a chance. Actually, you probably won't be nervous towards the friend at all, since you're not interested in her (yet!). That means at least part of your conversation will be fully relaxed. Plus, if the friend thinks you're cool, the girl of your interest has a higher chance of starting to think this as well.

Anyway, go up to the girl! Keep in mind: you'll lose her forever if you don't. OK, that's overly dramatic, but maybe it helps to keep you motivated. If she's busy yet again, maybe use a line of banter (oh my, I am not good at this, but maybe I'd say something like "hey, you're the dancer, aren't you? So, is this, like, your dancing crew?"). But please make up something you feel comfortable with, since you'll feel awkward repeating something someone else said, and you'll be much more relaxed when you say something that comes straight from the soul. Make and keep solid and confident eye contact. I find that helps me most to have a relaxed conversation with a pretty girl.

Then, I'd try to 'isolate' her, so I'd be able to have a conversation with her and with her only (OK, and maybe the friend I mentioned above), without 'friends' interrupting (or even other guys - brrrr). I'd ask her some things about how she's doing right now at school - or about her hobbies, if you know of any of them, since people generally do not like to talk about school or work that much. Maybe ask her what she'd like to do when she finishes school, ask her about what interests her, ask her about something emotional. Oh, and I always try to get the girl to laugh, and to have a bit of tension in our conversation (flirty eye contact, etc).

Oh yes, touch her. Just on the arm (I always go for the elbow, because that's a spot nobody will consciously notice you touching it, but will help build a connection - psychologically 'proven'). Don't touch for too long, just for a sec or so. Do it from the beginning. Maybe even to start the conversation (touch - "hey, I saw you dancing the other night, and I wondered what you thought about my salsa moves - you know, the ones that actually looked like cha cha cha?").

This helped me get facebook friendships, some phone numbers, and even a date. Most of all, it helped me to get more and more of a kick out of interacting with women.

So take what I've said with the necessary grains of salt. But: go for it! You'll feel good afterwards, no matter what the outcome will be.
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2009, 09:43:39 PM »
Thanks for the advice JCZ
I should try and get a 1 on 1 convo with her as soon as possible.
But UPDATE: I gave her an message on Facebook and she replied and I feel real happy she said this
"hello there
I know who you are I've see you around school so dont worry i dont think your a creeper lol. i think that this really sweet and really brave of you to do something like this. thanks for all the compliments you seem really nice. "

My message before was to say she was real beautiful and I really didnt wanna say anything of this besides face to face  because she deserved that and everything.

As you can see, anywhere you are or what way you wanna talk to the special girl you always wanted to talk too, It can always work, if you take time on what you are saying and say how you really feel about her.

Anyways, Please people, what does she mean though, is she glad I wrote this or just trying to be nice?
Also, any ideas of what I should say to her next time I've seen here??
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Alex

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2009, 02:48:58 AM »
Nice :)

Just don't turn into a pussy with all the compliments... They have to be really honest and sincere - not said to get her approval.

Anyway, just take it further. Talk to her casually when you see her. I don't know what you do on weekends,
but if you do anything fun with your friends on a regular basis, invite her to come with you.

That's it.

Let us know  :)
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JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2009, 10:16:18 AM »
Brent G, my man... so, did you manage to summon the courage to go up and talk to her yet? :P
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2009, 09:39:55 PM »
Gentlemen, I did the thing I didnt want to do, but new I was doomed for it
I didn't talk with her.

Yes I know throw the tomatoes at me on the stage if you want but I have a reason.
She's out of my league in every single way.
Seriously, there is a difference between out of my leauge and "Dude, I wouldn't go there if I were you"..
No matter if how well I talk with her and everything, Its doom to fail miserably. So, I stopped trying.
Reasons I stopped because she is older than me.
She's going to college, being more busier and available to more mature men that she is going to be attracted too (even though I think most men that age are still more immature than me with relationships, but not you guys, all of us here are mature enough to help out each other with our relationship problems). I don't want to be a distraction in her life. No matter how good of a distraction I might be.

Also, I found someone better, sort of, but right now this amazing girl is getting me through this "moving on" phase in ways she dosen't even know how. I'm thankful for her right now.

If Im such a sweet and brave guy as the girl said, why hasn't she tried and talked with me herself??? This means she dosent have the hots for me obviously.

Anyways, All time and opprotunities are nearly gone, I got two exams tommrow and tuesday. If she is there to talk to, I won't hunt her down. I'll see if she'll talk to me. If she dosent even bother looking at me. I know what I should do.

However, if you think I should continue this, and can give me great advice in these two days I got left of school (the only time I can talk with her) please give me it now, before its too late and i am too deep into my moving on state.

But right now, my fellow JKTC members, I'm starting moving on up to maybe someone better, and to a new summer with happy, interesting adventures to come, which I will need maybe your advice again
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JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #23 on: June 22, 2009, 04:09:50 PM »
Well, to be honest here, I think you're talking yourself out of it. So you found someone better? Even more reason to go talk to this girl. See it as a 'finishing this chapter' move. Maybe she really is out of your league, maybe you are out of HER league, how do you know? Maybe she'll make a cool (non-girlfriend) friend. Maybe she is a totally boring person. You'll only know that after you did this one thing...

I'm a bit of a fan of Carlos Xuma, one of the 'dating guru's' out there. One of the things he says is this: you should be regretting each girl you let pass by without talking to her. I'm starting to feel this regret. A lot, actually. How much really cool people (= girls, obviously ;)) am I allowing to pass by?

And then, if you feel this girl actually is out of your league, after these two days you'll never be seeing her again... So what could you possibly lose?
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2009, 11:28:03 PM »
Ever since I quit trying to talk to her. I began my moving on phase. And surprisingly it worked out, I got with this new girl and she such an amazing person, Like shes so great I swear to god she is my soulmate. Its crazy lol. But what shocked me alot, was after two weeks of school done, after two weeks of moving on, after two weeks of being in a new blissful freedom and in a happy blooming relationship...

Guess who accepted my friend request on facebook?

I didnt know what to do. I was shocked beyond belief. I went on her profile. Its either the worst mistake I ever made or the best profile with the greatest photos of a girl I have ever seen. She was sexy, so beautiful, so everything. I felt real happy seeing her through the pics. I felt she had a thing for me.
But then, now being in a great relationship with a new girlfriend, I started to think about the girl alot instead of my gf. The photos, the memories in the hall, the fantasies of me being with her, all drained on me. I couldnt stop it. But at the same time, my girlfriend, the one that hits all the right spots of what i want a girl to be if she were with me, I want to be with her.
The only explantation of why I'm sticking to the girl, is because Its summer: the actual, actual last chance I have before she hits college or Uni. And because I got her on fb? Werid reasons to hold on, but I'm guesssing maybe the reason im not letting go is because of something else entirely.

People I need your help! What should I do??
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Scott D

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #25 on: July 05, 2009, 08:11:14 PM »
You are putting way too much importance on the girl from facebook, Brent. All she did was accept your friend request. Big deal. She might have had an interest in you, but you decided to let it go, remember? And now you are going to change your mind just because she's your friend on a networking site, even though you have a different girlfriend? Please...

Think of it this way... facebook girl is leaving for college anyway, so you won't even get to be with her if by some strange occurance you end up "together." Plus, do you really want to hurt the girl you're with now? I don't think it's worth it. Let facebook girl go.
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #26 on: July 05, 2009, 09:17:02 PM »
Scott, your right.

The trouble is how do I move on from her. Its harder than you think. I started nicely movin on right after school ended. She rarely was on my mind, and I felt better. But from one little thing like her accepting my friend request, Boom! I went right back where I started.

Moving on from other girls was an easy thing from me.
She just has this great effect on me. Even thought we barely talked.
How do I let her go?
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Scott D

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #27 on: July 05, 2009, 10:14:20 PM »
It's just a small phase triggered by her approval. Put distance between herself and you, and spend more time with your girlfriend. Soon enough you'll see that you made the right decision.
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #28 on: July 10, 2009, 02:50:16 PM »
She is online right noww on Facebook!!

Should I not talk with her and continue my move on phase
or just talk and be friends and see where that leads??

Give me advice quickly people!! lol
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abogatir

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #29 on: July 10, 2009, 06:08:05 PM »
Talk to her one last time - nothing to lose
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