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Author Topic: NEED ADVICE  (Read 4295 times)

Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #30 on: September 01, 2009, 12:25:35 AM »
Hey Guys remember that girl that I made this whole note about??
Well I think i did something wrong..?
Well, she came on fb on the online chat thing, So i decided to say hello
after the twentith she did this, I jus went on impulse and spazzed I said this
"Well, I'm know I'm probably annoying to you. I know I failed trying to talk to you before because I kept thinking ur beautiful, n 2 good 4 me, n out of my leauge. But not even tryin 2 hve a convo 2 get 2 noe me a lil, its fucking shallow, U can either prove me wrong even tho im sounding like a asshole rite now or say fuck off n i will clearly, but remember u missed out on sum1 gud even tho i appear the opposite."
Something like that.
She went totally offline a lil while after.
I moved on from her, but I just wanted to talk. And she wouldn't?! I think what I did seemed right. I had a huge crush on this girl for almost two years, and after painfully moving on from her, she dosen't even try to have a convo with me?
Was it the right thing to do? Or if it isn't, what should I do now??
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The Possession of Anything Only Begins In The Mind - Bruce Lee

JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #31 on: September 01, 2009, 06:01:13 AM »
Brent, exactly why did you do this? What did you try to accomplish by it? Think about this for a while. I'm being blunt here, because you've talked about this girl a number of times, expressing that you're interested in her a lot.

What did she do to deserve your attention like this? IMO, absolutely nothing. A girl should deserve your attention by being interested in you or something like that. If you just think she's attractive, that's OK too; you'll need to build a connection with her first, after which she should start validating herself to you. A girl that doesn't do that is not worth having a relationship with (which she probably wouldn't want anyway).

You don't get off a boat when it's still in open sea, you wait for it 'till it's attached to some shore using a rope or whatever.

You build a connection by talking with her, OFFLINE. Online communication is way too delicate; a large part of any message is delivered by body language, which is totally absent online. This causes a lot of miscommunication. No chatting nor mailing nor texting will build a connection.

What you communicated to her right now - literally - is that you've put her on a pedestal. She probably doesn't have a clue what you base that on, other than her appearance, which is a huge turnoff for a woman. Besides that, you're being blunt to her, while women like subtlety much more.

And finally, personally I think it's a good idea to quit the pop talk thingie (don't know what you guys would call it): the "n 2 good 4 me" etc. The reason for that is that I like people that can write well, because they are able to express their emotions in such a way that other people can understand them. Which I think is something women would want as well.
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JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #32 on: September 01, 2009, 06:08:53 AM »
As for the advice: frankly, I don't have a clue here. Either she'll be confused and not knowing what to think of you right now, or she's insulted in some way (which will probably result in her deleting you from her friends list, so you'll know soon enough). Either way, she'll probably be ignoring you from now on. Which might still leave you with a chance, but you'd have to be very subtle and careful...
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #33 on: September 01, 2009, 07:43:39 PM »
How can I be subtle with someone who can't even try to have a conversation with me? Is there a different way that I'm missing?
I did put her on a pedastal yes. I always refused I didn't but I did.
She got pissed at me, I just went straight to impulse, i let my emotions control me. Bad Move. She said she was busy with UNI n other stuff and that she dosen't go on fb 2 talk 2 people, not even closest friends.
Why couldn't she say it somewhere when i said hi 2 her a billions times on fb, then just when I get pissed?
I apologized. And I didn't think it was the time to say anything with compliments or sweet talk to I didn't.
I seriously feel I can never get her to be my girl or even a friend. I just got to really forget her I guess. Right?
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JCZ

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #34 on: September 02, 2009, 02:56:42 AM »
That's the problem with stuff like Facebook. If she doesn't want to talk online, then let her go. You're not going to change her mind. Talk to her in real life if you want to achieve anything. Facebook will not accomplish anything for you other than superficial contact.

She telling you she doesn't even talk to close friends online is a clear sign she's confused. What do people use Facebook for? To chat with friends a little, to check out profiles of attractive other people. Of course she does that too. She's being polite here, but actually, she says she doesn't want to talk to YOU online right now. That's not a nice message, but the truth nonetheless. And it's common. Whenever you leave someone an online message which you do not get a response to, do not keep trying. Two messages, and no more. Leaving more will tell her you've put her on a pedestal for no apparent reason, and it creeps her out.

Wanna change that? Talk to her in real life. Either you'll have a fun conversation going in no time, or you'll know she's not your type. That's the one way. The other one is to forget her.
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Brent G

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Re: NEED ADVICE
« Reply #35 on: September 02, 2009, 11:27:41 AM »
Welll, I guess I have to let her go.
Its going to be impossible to meet her especially with her being busy and all with UNI and stuff.
I can ask to hang out or whatever, but she either thinks im thinking shes like a goddess 2 me or she really has no time, or just likes older guys. Who knows.
Best to let go.
Plus I'm starting a new year in school soon. More girls to meet up with there.
I guess I have to see her as a friend if she wants to be friends, not someone I want a relationship with. If she wants none of this. Forget her.
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The Possession of Anything Only Begins In The Mind - Bruce Lee
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