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[abogatir]

Hello everybody,

Alex B is back after an extended absence. Been catching up on everyone's ex's stories and my heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost someone they truly loved.

Anyway, have been keeping the no contact rule since early-July (July 5th to be exact). It was very difficult at first as I could not think about anything other than my ex. However, getting a new job, taking a week off to visit my cousin in California, and reading some philosophy books seemed to distract me. When I returned to my hometown at the end of July I was instantly busy at work. Also spent a lot of time working out as well as biking or running long-distances.

Yet I still found time to use social-networking sites to find and meet girls. Dating 4 girls at the moment. This is very convenient since if one of them is busy, I can just call one of the other 3. Just focusing on having a good time with them, going to fairs, amusement parks, movies, restaurants, and just getting to know them. I seem to genuinely enjoy trying out different jokes, flirts, and testing their reactions. I have not gotten past hugs and kisses on cheeks with any of them and I like one in particular more than the other three who happens to be an exchange student  I may have complemented her a little too much, telling her how smart she is. But I seem to sense some interest from her. Don't really want to break it off with others since I want to keep options open.

Regarding my ex, I still have angry thoughts about her and the new guy she is dating. I often fantazize about revenge but it is not as frequent as it used to be. My thoughts about her tend to be negative, writing some poetry seemed to help. I seem to have a sense that as soon as I get serious with one of the girls I am dating I will forget about her and the pain will be gone. Just having trouble making the transition from occasional hand holding, flirting, and hugging to actually kissing. Read the article about that so try to maintain eye contact. But basically I try not to make it my main goal, but keeping it as secondary. Hope to go to the mountains with one of the girls as it would be a more intimate setting.

Anyways, thanks for everyone's support - will stop by here once in a while to read whats new.

[Scott D]

Yo Alex, glad to see things are moving along well so far. I do have a couple pieces of caution for you, though. First, do all these girls know you are dating the rest of them? You should be open about it so they don't think they are getting into anything serious, especially if that isn't what you intend. Second, when you say "I seem to have a sense that as soon as I get serious with one of the girls I am dating I will forget about her," it sounds like you are looking for a rebound. In my experience, rebounds never work, so be careful before you start something with one of these girls. Don't get involved with a girl if you don't genuinely care about her--putting yourself on a "rescue mission" for your heart will probably end badly.

Other than that, the mountains sound like a good idea. 

[abogatir]

Thanks for the thoughtfull words Scott. To answer your question, NO! None of the four girls know about each other's existance as they are from different social groups. One is only 18 and is just enrolling in college, one is 20 and is in a college up north, another is 22 and working, and the one I am most interested in is 24 and an exchange law student. The last one is the only one I am really interested in having a serious relationship. I genuinely care about her as she is smart, full of energy, has similar interests to mine, and is just fun to be around.

Regarding rebounds, don't know if this would count as one as I already did my rebound in Washington but can one really be 100% over an ex without having a new girlfriend? I mean it would be a rebound in a way but would not any serious relationship after a rough break-up be counted as a rebound?

Even Alex seemed to mention how important it is to meet other girls after a breakup in his main article.

So yes, I sense that if I do get serious with her than it would help me to not think about my ex as she would fill the empty void I have in my heart but would this count as a rebound if I want it to last? I guess just hard for me to pinpoint what exactly rebound means in this situation.

[Alex]

This doesn't really sound like a rebound Alex, she just sounds like a cute girl.

But be really careful about the four girls. A general rule I go by if I am dating more than one girl at a time, is to NEVER let any of them know - and it is required that they do not live in the same city.

When you first have sex with anyone of them, that's where things get difficult. I think you should try to have this experience so don't be scared - just try to learn as much as possible.

Keep us posted