It's funny when you're so casual with a girl in a relationship and then it transforms into something that can only be described as love. Genuine, wholesome love. She was the first girl I can ever say in my life that I've felt this way about.
Things go great for a year or so, and then out of nowhere, she drops the bomb on me. She wants a break. Her reasons slowly transform from "I need space" to "I've got too much going on" and then finally "I'm just not attracted to you anymore."
I fall into a downward spiral of shit. You know, the one where you do EVERYTHING possible to try and get her back. Stupid shit, embarrassing things, and genuinely humiliating things. I zero contact her, and then she comes crying back in a few weeks. We go through a cycle of breaking up and making up as she struggles to get her life back together and me trying to fix everything. She had a lot of shit to deal with in life but unfortunately she took out all her frustrations on me and our relationship and finally, after being treated like dirt for about 5 months, I decided that this needed to stop.
I don't think we'll ever be together considering that she refuses to grow up and me finally deciding that I don't want to take her shit anymore. I loved her for all of her imperfections but there are some things a man should never ever have to deal with. I was delusional for a while but I guess I was so numb from all of it, I just said "fuck it" to us.
Realizing and finally accepting that I'll spend the rest of my life without her was probably the most painful thing I've experienced. However, I did learn some valuable things from all of this though and the knowledge has helped me grow up. You can never stop building character, eh.
