I've lost someone very important in my life and I don't know what to do. After almost four years, the woman I love has told me she is not ready to be in a relationship!?!? She has said I am wonderful and she loves me, but she never took the time for herself after her divorce to make herself happy and if she is not happy, she can't be happy with someone else. There are many issues we have disagreed on and it has caused serious stress in the relationship and I usually push them because I want to be with her. I understand her position, but the pain is horrible. I can't think straight, haven't been eating (lost about 10 pounds and I'm thin as it is), can't sleep, and it actually feels as if I'm having withdrawal symptoms. Stacy isn't perfect, but I love her the way she is. On top of it, I'm very attached to her two kids and I love them just as much.
I've known Stacy for about six years. We worked together and we were both married. She was involved with a mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive man that treated her like trash. She ended up filing for divorce when she caught him with yet another of many women. My situation was somewhat different. My ex-wife and I came to the conclusion that we just weren't compatible. In the realm of things, our relationship was quite good and we are very amicable to this day. Stacy and I relied upon one another and talked about anything and everything as we struggled with our relationships. We became emotionally involved as time progressed. She was amazing to talk to. I hadn't communicated with anybody like we were for years. It was refreshing.
We began a serious relationship three and one-half years ago. It has not been easy to maintain, but I have stuck by her through thick and thin. It has been an on and off again relationship over the years. Within the first year, she left me and told me to leave her alone. I did. About a month and a half later she contcted me and wanted to get back together. We got back together. Many of the issues have revolved aroun her previous abusive relationship. I'm a very open guy. One drawback of my personality is my overanalyzation of everything. It comes in use at times, but she has a serious problem with it. I don't mean to be a pest, but like to talk about our relationship.
I know it's not too much to ask when you are in a relationship of almost four years, that my time and issues are just as important as hers. It boils down to this: we argue over spending time together. I get to be around her on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday if nothing else is going on. I don't think it is fair and want my time with her. I get ticked off and we fight repeatedly over the time isse. Stacy calims it has nothing to do with her not loving me, but she needs some space to take care of personal issues.
Probably not the best relationship to be in, but I have invested a lot of time and energy into it, her, and her two children. I don't regret any of it, but she has now reached a point whereby she claims she cannot handle the stress of my becoming upset over spending time with her. What else is there when you are in a committed relationship with someone? I want my time and she can't provide it, yet when she is totally gone, like she is now, I long to be with her.
It's absolutely horrible not to be with someone that your are with. I should want more for myself, but after this much time, the pain of her being totally gone is not any easier for me. I'm so exhausted on so many levels and don't know what to do now that she is gone.
