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[Total Members Voted:]

Yes, its not a problem

3 (100%)

No, violates NC

0 (0%)

It depends

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 3

[abogatir]

So I have finally begun dating other girls even though the heatbreak is still there. Took Alex's advice and looked at it as an opportunity, now I can get to know many other girls that I would not have known otherwise.

Anyway, met this girl through a mutual friend, she studied abroad in russia and wanted to improve her russian, naturally being a russian translator I agree to meet with her for a "language date."  Anyway, she was eager to meet up with me so I waited for her to call me, since I was working all day anyway. We went out for drinks to an arcade/bar like place, she was cute, I constantly made jokes, found fun topics to talk about, made digs/fun at her, we seemed to be connecting emotionally. She seemed to be more interested than I was. Than it turned out that one of my ex's close friends was her former roomate (world is too small) - is this a concern? Then, she said she had to leave to talk to some guy with whom she is close friends and studied abroad together. I did not mind as I said I was very busy at work next week. We agreed to do a biking date or an "air hockey" date for next friday (she claims she is better than me). But I certainly have mixed feelings about her, specifically the ex-connection and her attachement to her guy friends.

I guess I will  take all this in stride, feedback and suggestions always appreciated.

[Scott D]

Don't let her connection to your ex stop you from enjoying something great. It might be difficult if you happen to wind up at the same party as your ex because of the connection, but that's an obstacle you will be better off overcoming rather than running away from.

My own best friend is my ex whom I dated for almost two years, and I am living testimony that a guy and girl can really be just friends, despite how close they seem and whatever history they have. You might have doubts about her and the other guy, but I say trust her until she gives you reason not to. And from a logical standpoint, he was there before you were--it'd be unreasonable to expect (or even think about) her to ditch him.

Also, congratulations on meeting a new girl! It's awesome you got that emotional connection going the first time you went out, it's very important. Good luck the next few days/weeks. 

[JCZ]

And try to get the guy friend thing off your mind. I know, the idea of her having (a lot of) alternatives to you isn't the nicest of ideas.

I used to check the Facebook accounts of my girl friends a lot, just to 'check up', you know... Admire their beach party photo's once again, etc... Well, I found out that

a) guys posting on her wall would make me jealous
b) her not responding my messages right away would make me feel bad
c) suddenly seeing her being in a relationship would outright shock me

So, I guess that's just the way things work. And I don't do that anymore. Cause, you know, I am the fun person they should be wanting to be with. If not, nothing else will work, and either she's not worth pursuing or I might be having a character trait worth working on. Other guy friends? She better remember that I am a guy worthwile to have a romantic relationship with. Otherwise, she might as well leave right now, and I'll move on.

So I'd like to ask you: what's with the guy friends again? I mean, she seemed interested in you, right? You're not even sure of her yourself. Never let jealousy get you off guard!

[abogatir]

Had another date, with a different girl this time as the first one is "busy" with work. Focused on Alex's advice and made it my goal to have fun with her. Watched fireworks, I kept making fun of her texting her friends all of the time, suggesting she was doing play by play coverage. Kept teasing her about her constant texting - she seemed to enjoy it. Then, we went bowling and it turned out she did not know how to play at all. I taught her and let her win in the last game. She seemed so happy. Drove her home cause she has overprotective parents.

Feel a lot more confident about this one but she kind of lives far away which may be a concern.

[Scott D]

I must say I love that you took her bowling. But then again, I'm an avid bowler myself haha. Sounds like this latest date went really well. Are you going to ask her out again?

[abogatir]

Thanks Scott, bowling is a pretty good dating idea as plenty of chances to teach her the right way to throw the ball and/or tease one another. Also, when she got her first strike, the joy in her eyes was simply unforgettable - all she wanted to do was hug me after that. While bowling is not the cheapest date, it is much more fun than dinner!

Yup, the new girl definitely wants to go out again. She is eager to meet many of my friends, which is a little awkward. Although I might wait for her to call me now that she did not return my call on sunday night. She seems very eager to go to a Latin dance club, similar to the one where I met her. Might do a double date with my coworker on Thursday. Will have to work on my salsa again  - that was always my weak point.



In regards to the 1st girl, she invited me to play tennis tommorow but said she wanted to be clear that she is not looking for a relationship cause of religious reasons, etc. I figured would still go as contact with any girl is good practice as Alex said. But since I like the 2nd girl better, this is not bad news.