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[Scott D]

You know what's really funny (read: shitty)? I had just bought her groceries a couple days earlier and lent her $40 for gas. And now, because of her selfishness, I have to find another person on short notice to go to a concert out of town with me because I already bought the tickets, and I have to find someone else to bowl on my team since there's no way in hell I'm letting her bowl with us anymore. I really can't understand how or why she was so selfish. It seems like she didn't even think about what she was doing. But I'm better off without someone like that, right? On the bright side I'll be able to save a lot more money now, and I'll have much more time to sleep.

[Scott D]

So, to continue this should-have-been-dead thread... I spoke to a coworker a little about it last night. His advice was to at least talk to her now that we've both had a chance to cool down and think it over. I haven't heard from her since, nor have I contacted her, so I'm a little hesitant (what if she doesn't care, or is even glad we're not together anymore?) I don't want to set myself up for heartbreak yet again. But he did have a good point... when she said "we're over" it was pretty sudden, it seemed like a rash decision. Perhaps she just got caught up in the argument and then was forced to go with it because she didn't want to appear weak and change her mind right away.

I wrote her a letter explaining how I feel, but it isn't sappy or whiny. It's very matter-of-fact, and puts the ball in her court. I haven't decided yet whether or not to give it to her. What do you guys think?

[JCZ]

I'd say she's definitely not unhappy with the breakup. I mean, she's not contacting you... which is a telltale sign. I'm not sure about the letter. If you're not accusing her or whatever but just stay strictly neutral, she might like this. Personally, I think it's cool of you to do this; not many people I know of are able to behave like grown ups after a break-up like this.

On the other hand, she might ignore your letter or react badly upon it. I don't know, maybe I'd start by just sending her a short message, asking her how she's doing after these days. And then get more elaborate if she reacts positively to that.

[Scott D]

Well after speaking with a friend, who is friends with a friend of hers (it's a rather long, but pretty reliable grapevine), I decided not to give her the letter. Not the one I just wrote at least, I might write something else, I haven't decided yet. Supposedly she's already out there flirting with other guys and hasn't yet even mentioned me to anyone other than to say how happy she is that we're not together anymore. Needless to say I'm pretty upset. I'm going to her house on Friday though to pick up some of my books that I let her borrow while we were together. I'm going to get my stuff, say thank you, and leave, no conversation or anything. I learned long ago that if a girl doesn't think I'm worth it, then she herself isn't worth it. I just need some time to move on I guess.