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Change Takes Time – The Game Has More Than One Solution

Changing yourself too fast is rarely a good idea Changing yourself too fast is rarely a good idea

This post is about change. Personal change. Self-improvement.

Cause’ that’s what this whole ‘getting better with girls’ thing is all about anyway. Change.

So how do you do it best? Most efficient? Smartest? Quickest? And is quick necessarily good? Dive in for some hot shot answers…


The game has more than one solution

Usually when you talk about ‘the game’, you talk about the so-called seduction community and all it stands for. There are many schools of thought, many techniques, many experts, but the end goal for all of them is the same thing: to get more and better girls.

One of the biggest mistakes a newcomer to all this material can make is to follow something mindlessly. What usually happens is that you become disconnected from your core, and if you have read “The game” by Neil Straus, you know how that can turn out.

Basically, you’ll feel like you lose control over yourself. All your friends suddenly turn against you, because they can’t recognize you any more. You’ll get into a bad spiral, deeper and deeper, farther and farther away from your true self.

So what’s important is that you stay rooted in your self-improvement process. It’s important to stay true to you, and to not change too quickly. If you go from being the ultimate mother’s boy one day, to being the worst of the worst badboys the next, you’re going to have some congruency problems.

Change gradually

Instead of changing from one day to the next, make the change gradually. Whatever it might be. Change takes time – it is a physical law.

So just play it cool. You don’t have to hurry to change. If you make just one new, good habit every week, you’ll get far. But on the other hand, if you do everything overnight, there’s a big risk of losing yourself in the process.

Personal change and development perfectly aligns with weight training. You don’t just go in one day and bench press 200 kgs. No! You build it up slowly over time.

It will take time, but the results will be much better in the end, and you won’t risk getting injuried along the way.

It’s the journey, not the destination

As I’ve said before, and it’s crucial: It’s not the goal, it’s the path that’s important! (wow, lots of apostrophes in that sentence!…)

Meaning that it is actually the road, and not the destination, that is the whole travel (and goal).

So don’t focus too much on short-term results.

Focus on small improvements

Instead, just focus on small improvements over time. Said hi to one girl today? Great!

Don’t feel bad for not saying hi to two. You’ll do that next time. Or if it’s really overwhelming, the time after that. Just don’t go to the “next level” before you’re ready.

But also, don’t stall and stay at the same level for too long. You’ll lose momentum, and therefore also progress.

If you do stall, take a step back and review your progress. If you have come to a barrier, like asking for the number, work hard and push through it. Remember the words you hear so often: Just do it.

It’s really not that bad, whatever it is. You’ll still live afterwards, I promise :-)

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Beautiful image by Beat.

10 thoughts on “Change Takes Time – The Game Has More Than One Solution

  1. Joe S

    Hey Alex!

    Good advice – short and to the point. YOure right, it is the path, not the goal that is the goal!

    Thanks:)

    Reply
  2. Derek Kay

    You’re so totally right. One of my favorite things is the “New Years Effect” where people make their ridiculous list of improvements that they all try to do at once.

    You know what? They almost always fail at all of them. You just can’t change that much that fast.

    On that note, who is looking forward to the gym next month?

    Reply
  3. Alex

    Haha Derek, yeah… This year, I made my New Year’s resolution the 1st december instead of the 1st january.

    Felt good, and more like I was the boss instead of some stupid date.

    Trying to change too many things at once, at least too fast, is an almost surefire way to burn out and not getting any of the things done.

    Thanks for chiming in! :-)

    Reply
  4. Alex

    Dating Advice Guy, it’s a long road.

    Just focus on the small improvements over time, and you’ll be there before you even know it.

    Reply
  5. Sean

    As the ol’ saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

    Change takes time, and change is inevitable. There’s another saying too, that, “Nothing stays the same but change.”

    We are always changing, we constantly have to, to make self improvements. It’s as if we all want to perfect ourselves and have some vision or goal in mind that we want to work towards. But as you’ve pointed out it takes time.

    Another good point that you made is it’s all about the journey not the destination. You have to relish the process and be content knowing your working toward the solution. As long as you keep working and putting forth the effort you’ll reach your destination.

    I like the idea too of just putting in little bits of work in each day, such as just saying hi, good way to stay positive and focus on making those self improvements.

    Another good post Alex, and I’ll be sure to keep these things in mind!

    Reply
  6. Alex

    Thanks for your comment Sean, you’re absolutely right. Rome wasn’t built in one day…

    I like your attitude towards life and self-improvement. (Maybe because it fits mine) ;-)

    Anyway, Merry Christmas and take care!

    Reply
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