What most men don’t realize is that men and women don’t talk the same language.

99% of guys only communicate on a verbal level. We take and understand everything exactly as we hear it.

99% of women also communicate on another level, a level that most guys don’t ever get to experience.

Not only do they hear and understand what is being said verbally; they also take into consideration what was behind it.

This is for me the biggest difference in the way we as humans communicate. We have all heard the phrase “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”.

How important is looks?

It’s also the reason that men generally look at porn or goes to strip clubs to get “horny” or turned on, where women read 400+ pages erotic novels instead.

We men operate much more visual, that’s also why we in most cases rank looks much higher than personality when it comes to choosing a partner.

Most women place looks way down the list, and instead places personal attributes such as confidence, humour and so on, on top.

Huuuuge difference.

I asked one of my female friends, Alice, about this.

Me: “Hey Alice, mind answering a quick question?”

Alice: “Sure!”

Me: “All right. Why do you think that men rank looks much higher on lists of what qualities are attractive to them on women, than women does on the qualities they look for in men?”

Alice: “Hmm, I have actually wondered a lot about this myself. I think it’s because most men “feel” their emotions through their penis. And nothing wrong with that! I understand why it can be hard having two heads…

But we only have one, and that’s why we use our brain to make decisions. And sure, we can get turned on by handsome guys, but if he has no personality, isn’t charming etc., looks doesn’t matter.

We want to close our eyes and see our feelings about this particular guy. We’re not seeing him in a sexy fireman costume. OK, I admit it. Maybe sometimes. But most women are turned on by feelings and emotions, not looks. I suppose that’s just the way it is.”

That was a long answer, but it proves my point pretty good.

Women get turned on by feelings and emotions

Women get turned on by their emotions and feelings, men get turned on more visually and physically.

You could also rephrase it and say that women get turned on by “inner impulses”, and men get turned on by “external impulses”.

So for what can we use this knowledge?

A cocky and funny line done to perfection

A few weeks ago, I was out with two of my friends, Tony and Adam.

We were just having a good time, when suddenly we spotted a really gorgeous blonde.

Before I even had time to blink, my friend Tony was all over her.

Being just a meter away, I overheard the whole conversation.

After 30 seconds of normal chit chat, Tony said something that really blew me away.

He stopped talking, gave her the elevator look, paused, and said:

“It would never workout between us. We would fight all the time”.

It was like he had created this little bubble where only the two of them fitted in, and he was creating massive attraction.

After 3 seconds of absolute silence from both parts, she kind of blushed and just laughed.

Then he paused again, creating tension, and said:

“And I would win”.

That’s where he had her. Just 45 seconds into the conversation. He totally had her.

Let me explain what happened:

Tony talked the language called woman!

He said something that she picked up at a subconscious level, and it said all the right things.

By saying that “it would never work between them”, he got her to picture them together.

The “we would fight comment” threw her a little off track and also made her laugh.

The icing on the cake was when Tony said “And I would win”, it was just perfect.

He had created so much sexual tension with those few words, you would only believe it if you was there.

And at no point did he laugh, he barely even smiled. Tony was really really cool and laidback, without being an ass.

Later on, he got tired of her following us all around, and he got rid of her. I don’t think they saw each other again afterwards, but it was just one of those golden moments that I’ll never forget.

Other guys were also listening in, as I wasn’t the only one sitting close.

I could just see that not a single guy “got it”. They had no idea what was going on.

If they were to explain happened between Tony and the girl, I’m sure most of them would have said something stupid like “He just got lucky”.

But no luck was involved!

Tony had total control of the situation, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

So what’s the lesson here?

It’s actually quite simple:

When it comes to dating, things aren’t like they’re supposed to be!

Bringing her flowers and writing her love letters does not create this wonderful thing called attraction.

Buying her dinner (feeding her) isn’t necessarily the best way to win her over.

Haven’t you noticed yourself that it seems like it’s the bad boys and rock stars that always gets the best looking girls?

And there are literally thousands of other things that doesn’t make sense when it comes to sex and dating.

If you’re willing to change your dating life for good, and finally understand all of these things (and take advantage of them), I think you should check out the book called Double Your Dating.

I have reviewed it right here on the blog, and there’s also a direct link so you can read more about it.

It costs 20$, and personally I credit a lot of my success with woman to this one book. Check it out! :)

Before wrapping up for today, I would like to add a few links.

Link love

The first post is a post by Savoy on “Being too nice vs. being a jerk“. It’s basically about putting yourself first instead of others, and how to know when you’ve become too much of a jerk. Good read!

The second post is by Todd on his blog we the change. It’s called “Using Body Awareness For Deeper Meditation“, and talks about meditation, relaxation of mind, and also contains links on how to start meditating.

The third and last post is by Albert from Urbanmonk.com and it’s called “A man’s manual to being a manly man – Introduction: Being a prince“. Really interesting, it seems that I always find great stuff when I digg up his archives :)

Well that was it guys, take care!
Alex

Image by e-chan