Kissing and foreplay are just means to get to sex, right? WRONG. Sex is all about giving, and girls love foreplay. You really should too.

No woman in this world enjoys the feeling that their boyfriend is using her as a masturbation tool. He barely gets in before he “shoots”.

She’s not even sure he’s in before he’s out again. The lights go off, and they both go to sleep. You really want to be that guy?

Start taking a new perspective on sex instead: The perspective of doing it for her. Make it as pleasurable for her as you possibly can; I promise you it will be better for you too.

Foreplay and kissing

As I started out by saying, girls LOVE foreplay. And a huge part of great foreplay is great kissing. Learn how to kiss, and you’ll learn the whole art of pleasure and sex. Kissing is in many ways two souls connecting on a very deep level. You’re extremely vulnerable when you kiss. Closed eyes, close body contact.

A lot has been written on the subject of kissing (also by me), but there’s still a lot to be said.

The following is a “technique” that I myself have been using to great success. Success measured in pleasure for her, that is.

It’s all about the anticipation. You can use this if it’s your first time kissing a particular girl. You can also use it on your wife through 30 years.

It’s based on the assumption that girls love to be whispered in the ear. Everyone’s different, and if you know that she absolutely hates it, do not pass go, do not collect €300. But there’s a good chance she does. Give it a try if you’re not sure.

The “real” kissing technique

When you’re talking, hold the eye contact. Move a few inches closer, look down at her lips, and look back into her eyes. Give her a sly smile and hold the sensual eye contact.

Your words will start to matter less, you will speak slower. The both of you should be able to feel the sexual tension.

Lean in, moving slowly, and whisper the following words into her ear: “In a moment, I am going to kiss you like you have never been kissed before”.

Remember to whisper really quiet, barely hearable. And definitely only to be heard by her if there are anybody nearby.

Hold the eye contact after leaning back. Lower your chin, look at her lips, and look back into her eyes.

Keep talking a little bit, depending on her reaction. Go for the kiss whenever you feel appropriate. You’re totally in control.

To add some extra suspense and anticipation, lean in like you’re going to kiss her, but don’t. Pull back.

Mastering this move can seriously drive any woman crazy. Be ware of the consequences…

The kiss itself

All the anticipation and sexual tension in the world won’t make up for a lousy kiss. Sorry!

It can cover it, it can make it better, but not in a degree that matters. The kiss itself is what it’s all about.

5 Easy Kissing Tips

• The most important thing when kissing is to take it slow. Don’t rush anything, make every second count.
• Be really gentle and sensuous. Kiss the same way you would eat a big, red, delicious strawberry. Just slower. Taste every little bite, embrace everything.
• Don’t bring in mr. tongue in too early (or not at all)
• Add some gentle biting instead. The lower lip works best for this. Again, go with the “tasting something really nice” feel.
• Remember to use your hands while kissing. This is a big one guys. All girls love to have their heads held in some way while kissing. Hands through her hair (slowly, but with force and strength) is usually a winner. Feel your way through it, do what she likes. It’s all about making her feel secure.

I guess that’s it. Here are 3 other articles I have written on the topic of kissing:

5 Tips on Kissing Passionately from 5 Women 5 of my girlfriends speak up on kissing. Highly recommended!

The 5 Most Common Kissing Mistakes Men Make The don’ts of kissing.

How To be The Perfect Kisser The opposite. Some great comments, little old post though.

If you have a minute to spare, please write me a comment with some thoughts / a report / whatever. I would love to hear from you! So please, don’t hold back :-)

I really appreciate it.

Stay cool, and see you in the comments section!
Alex

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Top Image by WTL Photos. Thanks. It’s a beautiful picture. Second one by Julia. Last one by darkroom11.

A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.

So what exactly defines a bad boy?

In its most simple definition, a bad boy is someone who works outside the norms of society. He doesn’t follow rules, he f**king makes them himself!

It’s really all about the mindset; the attitude. He just doesn’t give a damn.

A bad boy is also incredibly unpredictable. One moment he might be your best friend; the next you’re outside getting your ass kicked. For no reason at all.

His looks witness his personality; adventurous, unpredictable, raw. Exactly what he wears doesn’t matter – it’s the way he wears it that counts.

Typical bad boy traits:

• He always put himself first.
• Does what he wants, whenever he wants.
• He’s extremely arrogant.
• Abuse the people around him.
• He’s really dominant
• Create a lot of drama.
• Has high masculinty.
• Has very high sexual confidence, and he knows how to please a woman.
• He’s dangerous, and you never really know where you have him.
• Lead an exciting life.
• Gets a lot of girls.

And it’s that last trait that’s interesting. Bad boys generally get lots of girls. And even though they treat them like sh*t, they keep coming back… Because the sex is so exciting. And not only the sex:

Everything about the bad boy is exciting. Being with one is like riding a giant roller coaster for a woman; there are incredible emotional highs, and there are incredible emotional lows.

Wussies and nice guys

Wussies on the other hand, are almost the exact opposite. In “pick up glossary”, a wussy can also be called an “AFC” – an Average Frustrated Chump. You could also call him a needy guy, or a nice guy, whatever works for you.

Nice guys generally don’t get girls. And when most nice guys do get laid, they often refer to it as “getting lucky”.

Typical nice guy traits:

• He’s available all the time.
• dresses “nice”.
• Only talks about “death topics” (family, politics, economy etc.)
• Calls 27 times a day, and leaves “cute messages” in her voicemail.
• Compliments her all day long (mostly on her looks)
• His bodylanguage is “stiff” (center of gravity in the middle, arms hanging pointlessly at the sides)
• Never takes risks.
• He is dependable, and she always knows exactly where she haves him.
• Always shows up 10 minutes early.
• Live a boring, predictable life.
• Doesn’t get a lot of girls. Few to none actually.
• And when he does, she usually ends it with the “let’s just be friends” phrase.

Said in simpler words, a wussy is boring as hell.

And who wants boring? I know for sure that I don’t. My life is too short for boring.

What women really want

A lot of girls feel the same. They want entertainment, someone to have fun with, someone to excite them. They want drama, someone to make them feel!

Most guys don’t make women feel anything else than plain boredom.

If she feels like she’s in complete control over the situation, if there’s no element of excitement, no surprises and if you’re so predictable, she actually knows what you’re going to do before you do it, you become boring. Booooring I tell you.
Don’t let that happen!

So now we have the definitions of both a bad boy and a wussy (or a nice guy).

My guess is that, since you’re reading this, you’re interested in having more success with women.

You know from your own life that lots of the bad guys often get the good girls. Now you have more of an idea why that is.

But you don’t want to turn into an abusive jerk just to get good with women, right? That probably wouldn’t work anyway.

So we have to find a better solution…

What about taking all the good stuff from the bad boys, and ditching all the negative?

Wouldn’t that create the perfect man? I certainly think so.

Because there usually are a lot of negative things to say about the typical bad boy.

He’s usually very paranoid. He is over-protective, controlling, jealous, and basically wants to keep her for himself. These are very negative traits, since trust and respect are the building stones for every successful relationship.

He’s mentally unstable. He’s inconsiderable, selfish and abusive. And once again, the list could go on and on.

Then what IS so sexy about the bad boy?

Most women become addicted. Addicted to the drama, addicted to the amazing sex, addicted to his masculinity and confidence.

For high self-esteem women, one day she can’t take it anymore. She decides to leave, the drama has become too much.

For low self-esteem women on the other hand, they often stick to him like flies stick to flypaper. A lot of women end up getting married to bad boys.

Enough about the bad boys…

Let’s focus on making you better.

The first step is to realize your “bad” nice guy traits, and why they just don’t cut it.

For this to happen, you have to gain some knowledge on female psychology. (There should be a lot of info on this site… Also check out the book review of “double your dating”, where David spends a great deal of time talking about just that.)

The next step is to eliminate your bad traits. This is easier said than done. If you have been a wussy all your life, knocking him out of you easily can take some time, and it needs a lot of self-realization.

At the third step it’s time to pick up some new traits.

The balance between bad boy and nice guy looks something like this:

• You are dominant without being domineering.
• You are masculine without being macho.
• You are forthright and trustworthy.
• You are considerate without being placating.
• You are strong yet gentle.
• You are mysterious without being deceiving.
• You are exciting without being reckless.
• You are sexually exciting in the bedroom and a gentleman in the living room.

-David Shade.

I think this explains my point pretty damn good.

Work on creating a more exciting life and personality, work on your confidence, work on your skills… That’s a pretty good start.

Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.

Learn from the bad boys, but be careful not picking up their negative traits on the way. That’s the lesson from today guys.

This is a topic I will be writing more about in the future, so stay tuned. And please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments if you have any questions.

To your success with women,
Alex Kay

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Photo #1, #2 and #3 by Azzazello, dlemieux and julianrod.

What matters is what you do after you have turned her on. You can be the sexiest guy in the world, but if your apartment looks like trash, it will be very hard to “convince” her to stay.

It has happened to me a couple of times. A cute girl in my apartment. We kiss, I put on some music, we kiss some more. After a while she has to go to the bathroom, and when she gets back, she is suddenly in a rush to leave.

Quick kiss goodbye, and then I just sit there, puzzling about what it could be I had been doing wrong.

Chances are, I didn’t (directly) do anything wrong. She just didn’t feel secure at my place, and when I look back, I really can’t blame her. Pizza boxes on the floor, the toilet seat had been left up, and yeah, you get the picture.

Here are 8 easy things I could have done to make her stay:

• Show her around
  This is really easy, and can be great fun, too. Take her hand and show her how you live. I know that there’s story’s behind almost everything that you own, but you can easily save those for other times. Just show her the bathroom, so she knows where it is. And show her the kitchen (that I am sure that you do not use). In other words, make her feel at home.
• Fix your bathroom
  This is a big one! Remember that girls sit down they pee. Always stock up on toilet paper, clean the floor, wipe the mirror (or if you don’t have a mirror, get one) and always have clean towels in your bathroom.
• Clean up your mess
  Really important. Few things are more disgusting than old food, dust, hair, nails etc. in your apartment. You should also remember to take out your trash. Common sense, really.
• Keep an extra toothbrush
  She’ll definately appreciate it.
• Wash your dishes
  Or at least, hide them away.
• Pillows in the couch
  For the coziness factor. Candles everywhere are a big plus, too.
• Soft sheets
  If you get to move into the bedroom, always keep fresh and soft sheets on your bed.
• Keep condoms
  Don’t feel embarrassed about it. Nothing can kill the mood as fast as a trip to the drugstore.

If you stick to these easy tips, you shouldn’t be having too many problems. At least, your apartment is at your side, and working for you instead of against you. Good luck guys!

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When guys are out meeting women on a Friday night, what many are looking for is a one night stand.

It’s a dream for many men to walk in, talk to the most stunning woman in there, and walk home with her.

Nothing wrong with that, today I just want to discuss why it perhaps is better if you went for her phone number.

• First of all, you put a great deal of pressure on yourself if you have the one night stand mentality. This alone makes you 100 times more likely to fail.
• It’s well known that you need more than 3 minutes with a girl if you want to take it to the next level the same night. So if you fail your attempt to take her home, you have lost a lot of valuable time and possibly also money.
• You could have got numbers and emails from tenfold as many women in the same time!
• Also, the longer you sit with her, the bigger the chances of a “distraction”; a cuter guy approaches her, she gets dragged away by her friends, she has to go the bathroom, or similar.

So if you instead of “sticking around” a woman all night just ask for her phone number, you can meet way more girls, you are going to have more fun, and your chances of actually ending up in someone’s bed gets a lot bigger.

Just tell her that you have to get back to your friends, and as you are walking away, turn around and ask her for her information. It’s that simple.

Good luck.

Everyone remembers their first kiss. Or their last kiss. Kissing is something that everyone loves, and if done right, it can be almost as fulfilling as sex.

So in this post we’ll discuss if she’s ready to be kissed, and how to do it right if she is. Enjoy!

Is she ready?

Kissing is by no doubt the definitive line between romance and friends. Once you have “really” kissed, it seems that you just can’t go back to being friends again. So when you kiss for the first time, it’s all or nothing.

Let’s look at how to know when she is ready to be kissed:

First of all, you have to know that you have built both attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

This process is outside the scope of this article. But if you haven’t, kissing her would be like kissing your mom. It’s just wrong.

Secondly, there are a few clues that you can use to know when she’s ready.

The most obvious would one being if her initiating a kiss directly, but as most other things about women, you have to be the initiator.

So look after small hints:

• Is she grabbing your hand when you walk?
• Does she hold eye contact a little longer than comfortable?
• Does she run her fingers through your hair?

These are all good signs of interest from her.

Or if you want to test her, you could do some of the same things. See how she responds. If she responds positively, she is usually ready to be kissed.

When to kiss her

If you have been on a date, kiss her at your “emotional high”. In movies, this is often in a middle of a fight, or after the man or woman said “I love you”. For you, it doesn’t have to be at these exact moments. But time your kiss to when she feels the most attraction for you. Don’t let “the moment” slip away.

Don’t wait until you say goodbye or to some other predictable time. Kiss her when you feel like it.

Good, so now we have at least a small idea on when to kiss her. But there’s a few things you need to know first:

Preperations:

1. Do you have bad breath? Check by licking on your wrist and smelling the saliva. If it smells bad, your breath probably does too. Use mouthwash, drink water, chew chewing gum. Whatever it takes! Bad breath can really kill the moment.

2. Take care of your lips. Lips that are cracked and ugly just don’t invite kissing.

3. Shave. Although your trimmed beard might look sexy, it will itch and scratch when you kiss, hurting both of you.

The kiss:

• Take it easy. Don’t kiss just to “get to the next step”.
• Enjoy it. And she will too.
• Take notice of your mouth muscles. If you’re lips are too tight, she might think that you are tense. But if you’re too sloppy, you’ll come off as uninterested.
• Match her tempo. Or set it yourself.
• You’re not a dentist! If you french kiss, stay away from everything else than her tongue.
• Tilt your head. Nose clashing is not really considered a turn on.
• Close your eyes. A quick peep is OK, everything else is just awkward.
• Move your head. If kissing more passionately, moving your head from side to while kissing can really turn up the heat.
• Tease her. Pull away and look into her eyes. Stop just an inch before reaching her mouth. You get the drill.
• Variate. Don’t ever let your kiss get boring.
• Dont drool.
• Don’t just kiss the lips. Move onto the neck, kiss her cheek, and slowly kiss her eyes. If done right, this can be a major turn on.
• Bite her. Some people like small amounts of sensual biting while they kiss. I personally do.
• Use your hands. Tease her, run them through her hair, anything. Dead hands usually mean a dead kiss.

But remember, these entire tips mean nothing if you don’t use them.

So my number one tip is to get out there and try everything out. As you know, practice makes perfect.

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Many guys ask me questions like “when should I make my move?” or “how do I know if she is ready?” and as everything else regarding women, the answer is not simple.

In part one we talked about turning girls on, and that many women are like “volume knobs, needing to be turned up slightly, one nod at a time”.

Patience is key, and you have to really act like you don’t need it. I know that this sounds paradoxal, but if done right, it will create a lot of sexual anticipation.

Lean back, and let things roll of for themselves. Women like sex as much as you do, they just need more turning on, so if you do something that works, keep doing it.

Keep teasing her, keep talking sensually, keep up the kissing, in other words, keep her hot. And at last she will “give in”, being completely sexually aroused.

These are 3 common signs that she is ready to take it one step further:

• She starts taking her or your clothes off.
• She grabs you down there.
• She says something like “It’s getting hot in here”, or “I am really getting turned on”.

It could also be the way she looks at you, or the way you kiss. It shouldn’t be too hard to know when she’s ready.

When she is, it’s time for you to act. No more leaning back, it’s time to take some action, man!

• 1. Run your hands slowly over her ass.
• 2. Pull her shirt up a little bit, just enough to expose her lower back and stomach. Start touching and stroking her sensually around these areas, avoiding the “sexual ones”, and remembering what I said in part one about touching.
• 3. If the “It’s hot in here” signals keep coming from her, keep doing what you’re doing. Keep kissing her and touching her, slowly and sensually. If not, take it a few steps back and go back to create more anticipation.
• 4. Remember to stop once in a while. Look her deep in the eyes and smile. Kiss her lightly and continue.
• 5. Take of her shirt. Touch around the edge of her underwear, kiss, and keep doing what you’re doing.
• 6. Kiss around her neck, her shoulders and her back. Add some mini-biting and tasting if you want.
• 7. It’s time to go for her breasts. I assume that she is wearing a bra, so slowly turn her around and take it off. You can whisper in her ear a little while doing it, or smelling her neck and shoulders.
• 8. Kiss some more. Remember anticipation and stopping once in a while.
• 9. If you’re doing everything right, you should keep seeing some of the “I’m getting turned on” signs.
• 10. If she’s still wearing pants, help her take them off. Keep touching, kissing, smelling and tasting her.
• 11. You should also wear very little clothes by now.
• 12. It’s up to you what you are going to do next, but I guarantee you that if you follow this sequence in the right order, and keep up with the anticipation, gold will rain upon you.

The old saying “Everything comes to those who wait” is pretty true in this case. Keep doing what works until you feel that it’s time to move on. And remember to not rush any of this, the slower the better. Good luck!

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When talking about sex, men are usually painfully simple. You see a hot woman,
and instantly (in just a few seconds!) you’re “in the mood”. Unfortunately, women and sex is just a lot more complex.

When a woman sees an attractive man, usually she won’t “just” become “in the mood”. She gets interested in him, she wants to “get to know him” better. I think that this concept is drilled deep into the female mind, from over 40.000 years ago, when the man had to be very protective and royal towards her. The woman is still the one that has to carry the babies, and therefore needs a lot more certainty about who she has sex with.

Good, so now we know that turning on a woman might have more to it than just looking at her direction. You have to work her senses right before taking it to the bedroom. She has to really be “in the mood”.

You might say that men are just on/off switches, whereas women are more like a volume knob, which needs to be turned up lightly, one nod at a time.

One of the best ways to get her in the mood is this little thing called foreplay. For many men foreplay is just something to get over with as fast as possible, where as for the majority of women, foreplay is actually more important, or “nicer”, than the sex act itself. Now think about that for a minute!

So let’s get right to it, here are 8 tips in 3 small categories to more sensual foreplay:

Senses:

They say a woman’s senses are the way to her heart. And they’re right.

Your voice. Voice tone and sensual (not sexual) language is really important in getting her turned on. Use your voice to describe what you are going to do to her, in a painfully detailed way. “I am going to kiss your beautiful lips all over, first a small kiss on the upper lip, then one on the lower lip, maybe I am going to bring in the tongue at some time, but at first I just want to kiss you slowly. Your lips feel so good; I could just kiss you for hours.” This is great stuff, remember that women love details.

Smells and smelling. Smelling is a big part of the woman’s sexual mind. Remember to wear a great perfume, maybe a deodorant if needed, and to just be “fresh”. Another thing women love is to be smelled. Just standing behind her, and smelling her neck up and down, telling her how well she smells. This can really turn her on in a big way.

Cuddling. Kissing, stroking, caressing and touching are all a big part of foreplay.

Notice I didn’t write anything about the sight? That’s because women get turned on more by the other senses, and that the visuals aren’t *THAT* important.

Anticipation:

Women love to be waiting on the edge of their seats, they love to be surprised. Use anticipation in the right way and there won’t be any routes that are not leading to the bedroom.

Surprise. And no, I do not mean surprise in such a way as having a plane write “I love you” in the skies. Tell her that you have a surprise for her that she is going to like. Tell her that she can’t have it just yet. If done in the right way, this can lead to massive sexual anticipation. When you finally “give in”, give her something sensual like massage oil, which you can use to rub her back (which is also a great “foreplay move”. Just remember to do it slowly and sensual, making her feel good.)

Stop. If you are doing something that she really likes, like a back rub, or you’re kissing, stop. Pull away. Look into her eyes; blink if you’re feeling cocky. Do something else, and get back to the thing that she really likes a few moments later. This will also create a lot of sexual anticipation, and she will wonder why you stopped. Women loves having what they love taken away (sexually), and then given back to them.

Make her miss you. This is not really “for the moment”, but if she truly misses you, when you’re travelling, when you’re at work, anything, you are going to have an easier time getting her to the bedroom. For all the time that you have been gone, she will remember you and think about you.

Kind of like when soldiers get home from a war. Their wives and girlfriends have been so anxious that something happened to them, that they will think about their man almost all the time. They think of all the good times they have had together, and of course they want to have more times like that.

Simply having her think about you in a positive way will create sexual anticipation. When the man (you) finally gets home, the bedroom is almost always the first stop. This “miss” is rather hard to “accomplish”, you just have to know what’s going on. And I guess that you miss your woman when you’re away, too.

Stimulation:

Touching. Gently and slowly are the keywords here. Use your fingertips and run them all over her body. Try to avoid the breasts and ass. Remember what you have just learned about anticipation. If you leave out these “sexual areas”, she will wonder why, and at last she will WANT you to touch her there, just because you wouldn’t. Women love having what they can’t get.

Kissing. Sensually and warm is important here. Kiss her very lightly at the tip of her lips, then draw back, and look into her eyes. Start kissing again. Lick her lips, bite her kindly. Again, remember anticipation, its key!

This was part 1 of the 2 part series on women and sexuality. The next part will be about really transitioning into the bedroom, how to know if she is “ready” and how to “make your move”. Subscribe to our RSS Feed and be the first to know!