This post is pretty simple and clear and to the point, and if you don’t get it, you never will.

Here are 3 tips to becoming the man you dream to be:

1. Find stuff you love

2. Do the stuff you love

3. Do it every single day

Capiche?

Nah, I have a little bit more to say. But not much.

Finding stuff you love doing is not easy. You may have an idea about it, but sometimes, it can be vague. Find out exactly what it is you love doing, and why.

A really simple example is strength training. I love training with heavy weights, and here’s why: I feel good when I get my ass out of the door and to the gym, no matter the weather. I feel strong when I move more weight than last session. I feel happy when I’m finished – and the feeling stays with me for the rest of the day. I give more to the people around me when I have taken care of myself, and my energy levels are constantly pretty high. Last but not least, I love that I can eat whatever I want without deteriorating me from my goals. I don’t eat like crap, not at all, but I love the fact that I can.

That’s why I train. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not a chance.

Thinking your way to becoming a better man and having a more fulfilling life won’t do sh*t. Neither will trying.

I know it all too well: you start doing something and you feel great, but the passion is missing and the women still doesn’t appear.

Here’s the answer why: you’re doing it wrong. You’re either doing the wrong things, you’re doing them wrong or you’re not doing them nearly enough.

Fortunately, it’s easy to change.

If you envy other men for leading exciting lives, now is the time to finally do something about it.

Here’s a quote from Sean Messenger, which says it pretty damn well:

“The key to your life, my friend, is not what you know. It is not what you think. And it sure as hell ain’t what kind of advice you get from me or other self-righteous egomaniacs who want you to tell them just how cool they are for having this whole “game” figured out.”

So… What do you love doing? Find out what it is, and do it every single day.

Accountability breeds success, so if you’re serious, tell us what you want to do on the forums. We’ll hold you to your word.

Image by Eduardo Amorim.

Being a man. What does that really mean?

For me, it is being completely congruent with yourself. Being confident, powerful, strong and fun to be around.

A real man doesn’t hide anything from anyone. He doesn’t have a “dark side”.

He understands social dynamics, and he just have this energy around him that makes people like him.

He is naturally the center of attention in most situations.

Under stress, or in an emergency, he becomes the natural leader.

He takes responsibility. Not only for himself, but also for others.

Being like a prince

He is kind of like a prince. A prince from a fairy tale.

Being a prince is a very powerful image you can use; I first heard it associated with masculinity over at Albert’s blog.

“A prince is confident, passionate, in control, assertive, strong, brave, loyal, and has a code of honour. He takes risks, and he doesn’t need the approval of others. He has been tempered by fire. He has faced and conquered his inner demons. And yet he is kind, gentle, and compassionate. He likes himself and is comfortable with who he is.”
- A man’s manual to being a manly man – Introduction: Being a prince

A prince is kind and helpful to his people, gentle and fierce to his lover, loving and caring to his family and a man of men.

A real prince also keeps his friends close, but his enemies closer.

What’s your opinion

I am actually writing this sitting in a taxi on my way to the airport. I am having an extended weekend to Germany.

So I just wanted to share a few thoughts on being a man with you guys today.

And I am also really curious about your opinion -

What does it mean to “be a man” to you?

Reply in the comments. I’ll be back on monday!

Image by Bēn.

What most men don’t realize is that men and women don’t talk the same language.

99% of guys only communicate on a verbal level. We take and understand everything exactly as we hear it.

99% of women also communicate on another level, a level that most guys don’t ever get to experience.

Not only do they hear and understand what is being said verbally; they also take into consideration what was behind it.

This is for me the biggest difference in the way we as humans communicate. We have all heard the phrase “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”.

How important is looks?

It’s also the reason that men generally look at porn or goes to strip clubs to get “horny” or turned on, where women read 400+ pages erotic novels instead.

We men operate much more visual, that’s also why we in most cases rank looks much higher than personality when it comes to choosing a partner.

Most women place looks way down the list, and instead places personal attributes such as confidence, humour and so on, on top.

Huuuuge difference.

I asked one of my female friends, Alice, about this.

Me: “Hey Alice, mind answering a quick question?”

Alice: “Sure!”

Me: “All right. Why do you think that men rank looks much higher on lists of what qualities are attractive to them on women, than women does on the qualities they look for in men?”

Alice: “Hmm, I have actually wondered a lot about this myself. I think it’s because most men “feel” their emotions through their penis. And nothing wrong with that! I understand why it can be hard having two heads…

But we only have one, and that’s why we use our brain to make decisions. And sure, we can get turned on by handsome guys, but if he has no personality, isn’t charming etc., looks doesn’t matter.

We want to close our eyes and see our feelings about this particular guy. We’re not seeing him in a sexy fireman costume. OK, I admit it. Maybe sometimes. But most women are turned on by feelings and emotions, not looks. I suppose that’s just the way it is.”

That was a long answer, but it proves my point pretty good.

Women get turned on by feelings and emotions

Women get turned on by their emotions and feelings, men get turned on more visually and physically.

You could also rephrase it and say that women get turned on by “inner impulses”, and men get turned on by “external impulses”.

So for what can we use this knowledge?

A cocky and funny line done to perfection

A few weeks ago, I was out with two of my friends, Tony and Adam.

We were just having a good time, when suddenly we spotted a really gorgeous blonde.

Before I even had time to blink, my friend Tony was all over her.

Being just a meter away, I overheard the whole conversation.

After 30 seconds of normal chit chat, Tony said something that really blew me away.

He stopped talking, gave her the elevator look, paused, and said:

“It would never workout between us. We would fight all the time”.

It was like he had created this little bubble where only the two of them fitted in, and he was creating massive attraction.

After 3 seconds of absolute silence from both parts, she kind of blushed and just laughed.

Then he paused again, creating tension, and said:

“And I would win”.

That’s where he had her. Just 45 seconds into the conversation. He totally had her.

Let me explain what happened:

Tony talked the language called woman!

He said something that she picked up at a subconscious level, and it said all the right things.

By saying that “it would never work between them”, he got her to picture them together.

The “we would fight comment” threw her a little off track and also made her laugh.

The icing on the cake was when Tony said “And I would win”, it was just perfect.

He had created so much sexual tension with those few words, you would only believe it if you was there.

And at no point did he laugh, he barely even smiled. Tony was really really cool and laidback, without being an ass.

Later on, he got tired of her following us all around, and he got rid of her. I don’t think they saw each other again afterwards, but it was just one of those golden moments that I’ll never forget.

Other guys were also listening in, as I wasn’t the only one sitting close.

I could just see that not a single guy “got it”. They had no idea what was going on.

If they were to explain happened between Tony and the girl, I’m sure most of them would have said something stupid like “He just got lucky”.

But no luck was involved!

Tony had total control of the situation, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

So what’s the lesson here?

It’s actually quite simple:

When it comes to dating, things aren’t like they’re supposed to be!

Bringing her flowers and writing her love letters does not create this wonderful thing called attraction.

Buying her dinner (feeding her) isn’t necessarily the best way to win her over.

Haven’t you noticed yourself that it seems like it’s the bad boys and rock stars that always gets the best looking girls?

And there are literally thousands of other things that doesn’t make sense when it comes to sex and dating.

If you’re willing to change your dating life for good, and finally understand all of these things (and take advantage of them), I think you should check out the book called Double Your Dating.

I have reviewed it right here on the blog, and there’s also a direct link so you can read more about it.

It costs 20$, and personally I credit a lot of my success with woman to this one book. Check it out! :)

Before wrapping up for today, I would like to add a few links.

Link love

The first post is a post by Savoy on “Being too nice vs. being a jerk“. It’s basically about putting yourself first instead of others, and how to know when you’ve become too much of a jerk. Good read!

The second post is by Todd on his blog we the change. It’s called “Using Body Awareness For Deeper Meditation“, and talks about meditation, relaxation of mind, and also contains links on how to start meditating.

The third and last post is by Albert from Urbanmonk.com and it’s called “A man’s manual to being a manly man – Introduction: Being a prince“. Really interesting, it seems that I always find great stuff when I digg up his archives :)

Well that was it guys, take care!
Alex

Image by e-chan

Doing single-jointed exercises like the dumbbell biceps curl might feel good, and sure, your biceps will get bigger over time.

But what if I told you that all the time you have been doing biceps curls, you could have been doing multi-jointed exercises, and by now, you would have packed on twice the muscle?

By using more muscles to move the weight, you’ll also be able to handle more kilos, increasing performance, burning more fat, minimizing injury and making you look better.

Train like an athlete

So if you start training like an athlete instead of training like a bodybuilder, and focusing on getting strong, instead of just looking strong, and you will gain lots of benefits.

It will be easier to see your progress, too. If you measure by how much you can squat, you can’t make any mistakes. Either you squat 100 kilos 5 times, or you don’t. You could say that there is no room for error.

On the other side, if you train more like a bodybuilder and only measure by inches and by looking in the mirror, there’s a big room for error. Mirrors can lie. Kilos can’t.

So what can you do?

Simply, start switching as many single-jointed exercises as you can with multi-jointed ones, training the same areas.

For example, instead of doing leg extensions or leg presses, start squatting or deadlifting.

And stop doing dumbbell chest flies, and start bench pressing.

Or instead of the preacher curls, start doing some pull-ups.

You get the drill.

I am no fitness expert, and I am therefor not in a position to tell you exactly which exercises will train specific parts of your body.

But I do know that if you start switching your isolated exercises to the compund exercises, you will both see and feel the difference on your body.

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It’s saturday night, you’re getting a beer or two at the bar. You look at the wrong girl, and a big guy comes over to you. “You lookin’ at my girl fool?!”He says.

You answer steadily with a “let’s armwrestle”. He agrees, and the whole bar is watching. You win easily. Needless to say, you walk away with the girl, and the total respect from everyone in the bar. The big guy sits and cryes of shame in the corner. Buhhuu, this is how you did:

You trained your grip

Grip strength is one of the most important factors in winning at arm wrestling, and who doesn’t want to be that guy everyone turns to when they need help opening the cookie jar? Grip training is most easily done using a handgripper, I personally recommend the Altus adjustable hand grip, which can be found at the bodybuilding.com store, where you can also find additional information. Right now they are sold for a mere $7.49.

Your feet were positioned right

ALWAYS have the right foot in front of your left one (If you’re right handed). A good rule of thumb is to position your foot as far against your opponent as you can. This is done to make use of all the power and force you possibly can.

You wrapped your thumb

Wrapping your thumb is a very simple move which can grant you a lot of power over your contestant. Here’s how to do it:

1. Wrap your hand as if you were about to punch someone.
2. Instead of having your thumb on the outside, move it “under” your fingers, so you can only see the knuckles behind your fingers.
3. This is wrapping your thumb. Practice doing it with a friend to see what I mean.

You trained the key arm wrestle areas

The shoulders and upper back for offense, biceps and pecs for defense.

And used the right muscles

Most people arm wrestling foolishly use their biceps to crush the opponent. This is wrong, as it is a relatively small and weak muscle. Instead of using the arm, try using your back and shoulders to force your opponent down.

These were just 5 easy tips to winning at arm wrestling, but if you take advantage of them, I am willing to promise you better results immediately. Especially about that gripper, it makes a whole world of difference. Good luck winning out at the bars! And if you really feel cocky, what about smacking on this t-shirt?

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