You are a man. So am I. So stop apologizing for it. I see it every single freakin’ day – men walking around like pussies, looking into the ground and blaming everyone but themselves for their unsuccessful lives.

It is ALL your fault. I know that this doesn’t sell. And I know that it’s not what you want to hear – but it truly is. You HAVE to start to take responsibility for your own life and for your own actions.

Man up. Grab life by its balls. You have two of them at your disposal – so use them.

• A real man is fucking honest. He speaks his mind freely about things that concern him, but he also takes into regard the feelings of others. He lives by the rule of never harming anyone intentionally (more than needed, of course. In a few cases, like a break up, some ‘harm’ is needed).
• A real man doesn’t need or seek approval from others. You probably know this; so why do you keep doing it? Start living your life with integrity and you will see that you do not need the approval of others; that, in the end, it is ONLY your opinion that matters.
• A real man trusts his instinct and his abilities. But at the same time, he is HONEST about them. If you know that you are not skilled enough to, let’s say, climb a mountain, you have two choices: Either, you learn or acquire the skills needed for the task OR you back out and direct your attention to another matter. It is as simple as this. Two choices, nothing else.
• A real man is totally upfront with his intentions. He doesn’t apologize for being a man and for wanting sex – it’s perfectly acceptable. If he feels that the time is right for getting more physical, he goes for it without hesitation.
• A real man also has only two choices regarding something he fears, like doing a bungee jump. Either he just does it, OR admits that he won’t do it. Usually, we walk away from things we fear with guilt. This is not a choice for the real man, the just keep the change man. Either he TAKES ACTION, or admits that HE WON’T. There’s no middle ground. Really wanting to do something, but succumbing to your fear is WEAK. Don’t be that guy. You will grow if you take one of these two roads, and you will shrink if you pussy out. In 90% of all cases, just do it. Breathe deep, and tell yourself that you’ll live. You will… In the other 10%, be sure that backing out is the smart thing to do. It might be you wanting to approach a girl, but you being too afraid to fuck it up, you freeze like a Popsicle on the south pole. You do nothing, and you beat yourself up over it afterwards. THIS IS WRONG. Either, you approach her, or you admit to yourself that you won’t do it and be happy with it. Maybe, you don’t approach this girl, but smile and say “hey sunshine” the next time you greet that cute girl at your local supermarket instead. But don’t let it become procrastination, instead, learn which battles to fight. Which brings me to…
• Baby steps. A real man takes baby steps. Or at least he takes action. A real man doesn’t sit around on his couch reading advice that he won’t put into practice (if he really believes it, that is… Of course you shouldn’t take advice you don’t believe in at all). But I challenge you to try. How else would you know for sure?

So please, go out NOW and do something that you
a) want to do or
b) fear to do.

Often these two overlap. Start out by smiling and looking every girl in the eyes that you see today. After a couple of times, start saying hello, maybe getting their name in the process. Soon you will find a girl you like, and you will ask her out. No tricks, just you and her. You will go for the kiss, and you will take her home if that’s what you both want.

It takes balls my friend. Good thing you have ‘em.

It’s called looking her in her eyes.

Ever since I have given women intense eye contact while being with them, my love life has completely transformed.

Old, rugged sex without passion suddenly turns into hot all-night sessions.

Now don’t get me wrong – there’s more to women than just looking them in their eyes. It’s not a magic trick, but it is a necessity.

And not all eye contact works the same – a creepy stare is for many females one of the biggest turn offs. So read on, and learn how to give a woman some sexy eye contact. It’s one of the most important things you’ll ever learn.

Why eye contact works

There is a big difference between locking eye contact and staring. Staring is creepy, eye contact is sexy.

I have a little theory that the eyes are the window into the soul. When you look intensely into someone eyes, you actually “get” a little bit of them in return.

Try and notice the next time you watch a show where someone is interviewed. If it’s a skilled interviewer, there’s a big chance he won’t look any other place than at the interviewed persons eyes. Most likely, he will rarely blink, either.

This behavior stems, like almost everything else, from our caveman days. One of the strongest forms of communication is eye contact, and when deciding which man was the alpha man, it was most likely through something like who looked away last.

I don’t say that they had competitions with this or anything like that, it’s more of a subconscious thing. It’s used the same way today. I’m pretty sure, that in your company, the chubby secretary gives you less eye contact than your boss or another, more powerful, person.

To hold a gaze is simply a sign of dominance and leadership – and you can use that to your advantage.

A woman will instantly see you as a confident alpha male if you give her strong eye contact through the room, down the hall, or when you talk to her. It’s written in her genes. It’s a classic sign of a wussy if you can’t hold eye contact for more than a few seconds – we all now that guy; fiddling with his fingers, looking away nervously, stuttering. Don’t be him :-)

Holding eye contact also makes you quite vulnerable and penetrable - that’s why no one looks each other in the eyes in the metro or in any public transport. It’s an open invitation between two human beings.

How to do eye contact just right

There are a couple of things you do not want to do. First of all is that, when you have locked eye contact, you do not look away before she does. And even if she does, ask yourself what you will gain by looking away.

Most likely, you have everything to win by holding the eye contact and everything to lose by looking away.

Eye contact does not only signal confidence, it also signals interest. Most women love a good listener – and a strong gaze is a huge sign of just that. Your attention is with her and with no one else; in other words, you make her feel special and important.

Confidence + interest = instant sex appeal.

Better is, when you lock eye contact, you force yourself to only listen to her. No distractions – just you and her. That’s sexy as hell. Ask any women out there.

Here’s how to hold that eye contact we should all be striving for:

• Pick one eye and hold eye contact at that. Find out which eye works the best – believe it our not, but there is usually different “energy” between the two eyes. One is usually “hotter”.
• Try to “feel through” her.
• Listen intensely while she is talking.
• Relax at the same time. Don’t strain yourself or hold tension in any muscles.
• DON’T look away. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing so.
• Breathe. Always breathe. Through the nose, nice and deep… Ahh.

That’s it. A bulletproof recipe for success with women. Now get out there and give women some sexy eye contact you stud!

By the way…

I just found a little experiment done by my friend David Shade. It’s a article on the website Fastseduction.com, and I really think that you’ll like it. Eye contact experiment by David shade.

I’ll also be gone for about two weeks on holidays – take care guys, and make me proud!

Living with an open heart means that you experience all experiences fully without denying anything. It is like looking fear in the eye – you stand up for yourself and take up the fight.

The weak man

The weak man will always try to deny his pain. Whether it’s emotional or physical, he will always try to think of anything but the pain.

When running, he will distract himself when it starts to hurt. When faced with criticism, he will try to move on, move around it, forget it or deny it. When a weak man loses something, or someone, he will suppress his feelings; his pain. He will look the other way and distract himself.

On the surface, this approach might look beneficial. Pain is bad, so it must be good not to feel it, no? If just it was so simple…

See, pain is a part of life. And when you reject pain, suppress it, deny it, you also reject, suppress and deny life. And on top of that, pain only grows in denial. So when you reject your pain, all you are actually doing is that you make it grow. And it will grow, grow until it eats you up.

A man living with a closed heart will die bit by bit, every single day.

What to do instead

The honest, courageous man, on the other hand, will face his pain. He will see it for what it is, and do with it what needs to be done: live with it.

He will be open to the world and to the people that love him, and his mind and spirit will be strong.

So try this the next time you are faced with something “bad”, like criticism: stand up for yourself. Breathe at all times to open up the front of your body. And listen.

The same thing applies to loss, whether its in love, death or anything that’s in between: take responsibility. Face the pain. Remain open. Whatever you do, you must remain open.

When you practice openness like this, you will start to see that pain and hurt is just as much a part of life as love and light.. You won’t ever get rid of your pain by denying it, so why not learn to live with it?

The funny thing is that there comes a time, where you will realize that the pain, your pain, is gone. It is just like fear: you won’t ever get rid of it before you face it and fight it.

The way to fight fear is to do what you are afraid of.

The way to fight pain is to live with it, with an open heart.

Always.

What do you think?
What’s your point of view when it comes to pain – is it best to just see it for what it is, or do you believe in denying or suppressing it? Is there a middle road? Let me know what you think in the comments.

By the way, I’m going to Sweden in an hour, I’ll be back in a few days. Take care guys!

Who doesn’t want to be sexy as hell, exceedingly attractive and absolutely confident?

This article will tell you how. And it’s easier than you probably thought. But not easy in the ‘no-effort’ way.

No, it’s more like easy in the ’simple to write- harder to do’ way.

The title of this post was inspired by the relatively new Woody Allen movie “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”. Actually, the whole post is inspired by that movie. You’ll see why in a minute.

Vicky and Cristina

The movie is about two girls vacating in Barcelona, Spain, during summer. One of them, Vicky, is what you on first glance would call self-confident, secure and cold. The other girl, Cristina, is more of the adventurous type. She is not afraid to get her heart broken, and generally takes more risks.

So there we have it, two seemingly distinct girls. One night, they get approached by a sexy bohemian type painter. They have never talked to each other before, just exchanged a few looks at an art gallery earlier that evening, but now he’s asking them to go to a small Spanish city with him by plane. That evening. They’ll leave in an hour.

Cristina absolutely wants to do it. Vicky absolutely does not want to do it.

But they go anyway. The painter, who’s name is Juan, shows them around the little Spanish city and they have a great time. Cristina starts to fall in love with him, and they end up in his room. They start kissing, but Cristina suddenly gets an upset stomach. Apparently, she has had some kind of food poisoning, and it sends her to bed a few days.

Now, stay with me. I know this sounds irrelevant, but really, it is not. Read on…

Because Cristina is in bed all the time, Juan only shows Vicky around. Against all odds, they actually have a great time. Late one night they go to an outdoors guitar concert, and afterwards they have sex in the moonlight.

That’s basically the story. There are complications, though, like Vicky being engaged. But that’s not really important right now.

The question is this:

Why is Juan so god damn sexy and attractive?

Of course, there will never be an absolute answer to that question. And on top of that, he’s just a guy in some movie. But still, it’s an interesting question to answer.

I think that, in some way, he is everything that both Vicky and Cristina want to be.

In reality, Vicky is afraid to show who she really is. She is afraid to open up, to be vulnerable. Juan does this. He tells the girls about his ex wife, whom he loved dearly, and how she has this huge impact on him. He tells them that they tried to kill each other because they were so frustrated by love. Now that’s expression…

Vulnerability and honesty

At the concert, Vicky also sees Juan cry. She sees that he is not just some fake Latino lover, but an actual, authentic man.

Later, when they stand face to face and are about to kiss, he tells her, not just with his words, but also with his heart and his whole body, that he thinks that she is incredibly beautiful. She melts. Again, she feels his authenticity. She feels that he is real; she feels that he is honest.

Cristina is not attracted to him for the same reasons. She’s attracted by his creative nature, the way he expresses himself in his paintings. Because she is struggling to express herself; she feels that she has so much to say, but yet, she has no talent.

She also feels Juan’s authenticity. She feels it down her spine, all the way into her feminine core. She knows that he has the ability to love with all his heart. That he can express whatever he feels in the moment in a true, honest, raw and sexy way.

She knows that he’s the kind of man that will scream in bed if he wants to. He will yell at her if that’s what he feels. Not in a angry or hateful way, he will only yell because he loves her.

Now that might sound like a contradiction, but in my opinion, love is really just the true expression of the moment.

Impact

But most of all, she knows that she has an impact on him. And that’s what’s attractive about Juan. He is impactable. I’m not sure that’s even a word, but what I mean is that you can impact him and feel it.

There is no bullshit with this guy. He can fall madly in love with you, leave you, and cry over you for months. But don’t confuse this with being a wuss. Because it is not out of neediness, not at all. It is out of confidence and love. An entirely different thing.

So what’s the lesson?

Express yourself! If your girl looks amazing one night, don’t be afraid to tell her! Tell her how she has an impact on you. How you always feel warm when you’re around her.

But also, always be honest. If that’s not what you feel, don’t say it.

So the lesson is also to become in-tune with yourself. If you can’t feel what you are feeling, how will she ever feel it?

Self-expression can take an infinite amount of forms. Art is the most common, right along writing and playing an instrument.

You may not be creatively talented, so maybe it’s not for you. Cristina in the movie didn’t think she was. Right untill she found photography.

Expression can also be to take a long walk. Or to meditate. As long as it is real, and as long as it is you, it’s expression.

How to get to know yourself better

Start writing a journal. It doesn’t have to be chronologically ordered, or start with “hi diary” on every page.

Write in it whenever you feel like you have something to say. And when you write, do the following:

Write without stopping. This works best if it’s on paper with a pencil. Computer writing doesn’t count here.

Write without stopping for 15 minutes. Don’t ever let the pencil slip of the paper. And if you feel like you don’t have anything more to write, write that!

Actually write “It feels like I don’t have more to write”. Then just write whatever comes at you. It may be that, while you are writing, you are looking around your room. What do you feel when you look at your room?

Write it all. This is an incredible exercise for building a higher degree of self-awareness and self-realisation. Suddenly, you are not a stranger in your own body.

Before you go

Remember the lesson for today: Love fully, express fully. That’s all really all that is to it.

Let me know how it goes in the comments. Let me know your thoughts. Your experiences. Your comments.

See you there!
Alex

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Lovely top image by karpov. Second image by puja.

Do you know what all women are looking for? Of course you do. You just don’t believe them when they say that they want a “confident man, who is himself”

Most guys just dismiss it by saying something like “Yeah yeah, whatever. I know those bitches just want a good looking guy with a lot of money”.

If you’re on of those guys, I’m sorry to tell you this, but they’re talking the truth. You just don’t get it. Looks and money really aren’t that important.

What women are really saying is that they want a strong man, who is honest with himself and others. There is more to it than this, but it’s the basic idea.

Honesty is sexy

Honesty is one of the most attractive qualities you can possess.

You can also call it “living from the heart”. Being brutally honest is incredibly hard.

There are exceptions to every rule, even when it comes to being honest.

But straight forward lying is almost never a good idea. Maybe if you only think of the short-term consequences lying is great. But in the long run, it doesn’t work.

It’s almost impossible to really be in and enjoy the moment if you’re a liar. You always have to think about what you have said, you always have to remember your stories.

Lying is a sure-fire way to get unhappy.

But before being honest bears any fruit, you also have to be proud of the things you have done.

If you’re a thief that steals stuff all day long, and you say to yourself that you will start to tell everyone about it and being really honest, you won’t get too many positive replies from people. Sorry!

But if you start living a great life where you give love unconditionally, you can be proud of your achievements. And this is where it’s fucking great to be honest.

Just say everything exactly as it is, without directly hurting anyone.

Telling some random fat guy that he is fat is not going to save the world. Please, don’t do that. He needs to realize it himself. You can help him with that, though. But be very careful.

Giving without taking

It’s really all about the giving.

Don’t try to take things from people. Love, respect, anything. Give instead. You don’t have anything to lose; you’re ability to love is never ending.

For years, I held my emotions hidden to my parents. I could come home, lock my door, and just sit in my room crying over something. If my mother knocked on the door and asked if something was wrong, I would lie. I would say that everything was fine.

I got into a really bad cycle of keeping things inside.

But when I realized the importance of opening my heart, I started being honest with my mom. She has also started to open up to me, and this has created one of the best relationships I have ever had with anyone.

Same thing about my friends. For years, I would lie to them and tell them things were fine etc., but now, I know I can tell them anything.

When you start being honest with everyone, you also find out who your real friends are.

And most important, you get to know yourself. You don’t have all these layers of crap inside you. Being honest is a perfect excuse for cleaning up inside.

Try it, and let me know how it goes!

As always, get the new posts for free by giving me your email on this page. No bullshit. No spam.

Image by code poet.

A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.

So what exactly defines a bad boy?

In its most simple definition, a bad boy is someone who works outside the norms of society. He doesn’t follow rules, he f**king makes them himself!

It’s really all about the mindset; the attitude. He just doesn’t give a damn.

A bad boy is also incredibly unpredictable. One moment he might be your best friend; the next you’re outside getting your ass kicked. For no reason at all.

His looks witness his personality; adventurous, unpredictable, raw. Exactly what he wears doesn’t matter – it’s the way he wears it that counts.

Typical bad boy traits:

• He always put himself first.
• Does what he wants, whenever he wants.
• He’s extremely arrogant.
• Abuse the people around him.
• He’s really dominant
• Create a lot of drama.
• Has high masculinty.
• Has very high sexual confidence, and he knows how to please a woman.
• He’s dangerous, and you never really know where you have him.
• Lead an exciting life.
• Gets a lot of girls.

And it’s that last trait that’s interesting. Bad boys generally get lots of girls. And even though they treat them like sh*t, they keep coming back… Because the sex is so exciting. And not only the sex:

Everything about the bad boy is exciting. Being with one is like riding a giant roller coaster for a woman; there are incredible emotional highs, and there are incredible emotional lows.

Wussies and nice guys

Wussies on the other hand, are almost the exact opposite. In “pick up glossary”, a wussy can also be called an “AFC” – an Average Frustrated Chump. You could also call him a needy guy, or a nice guy, whatever works for you.

Nice guys generally don’t get girls. And when most nice guys do get laid, they often refer to it as “getting lucky”.

Typical nice guy traits:

• He’s available all the time.
• dresses “nice”.
• Only talks about “death topics” (family, politics, economy etc.)
• Calls 27 times a day, and leaves “cute messages” in her voicemail.
• Compliments her all day long (mostly on her looks)
• His bodylanguage is “stiff” (center of gravity in the middle, arms hanging pointlessly at the sides)
• Never takes risks.
• He is dependable, and she always knows exactly where she haves him.
• Always shows up 10 minutes early.
• Live a boring, predictable life.
• Doesn’t get a lot of girls. Few to none actually.
• And when he does, she usually ends it with the “let’s just be friends” phrase.

Said in simpler words, a wussy is boring as hell.

And who wants boring? I know for sure that I don’t. My life is too short for boring.

What women really want

A lot of girls feel the same. They want entertainment, someone to have fun with, someone to excite them. They want drama, someone to make them feel!

Most guys don’t make women feel anything else than plain boredom.

If she feels like she’s in complete control over the situation, if there’s no element of excitement, no surprises and if you’re so predictable, she actually knows what you’re going to do before you do it, you become boring. Booooring I tell you.
Don’t let that happen!

So now we have the definitions of both a bad boy and a wussy (or a nice guy).

My guess is that, since you’re reading this, you’re interested in having more success with women.

You know from your own life that lots of the bad guys often get the good girls. Now you have more of an idea why that is.

But you don’t want to turn into an abusive jerk just to get good with women, right? That probably wouldn’t work anyway.

So we have to find a better solution…

What about taking all the good stuff from the bad boys, and ditching all the negative?

Wouldn’t that create the perfect man? I certainly think so.

Because there usually are a lot of negative things to say about the typical bad boy.

He’s usually very paranoid. He is over-protective, controlling, jealous, and basically wants to keep her for himself. These are very negative traits, since trust and respect are the building stones for every successful relationship.

He’s mentally unstable. He’s inconsiderable, selfish and abusive. And once again, the list could go on and on.

Then what IS so sexy about the bad boy?

Most women become addicted. Addicted to the drama, addicted to the amazing sex, addicted to his masculinity and confidence.

For high self-esteem women, one day she can’t take it anymore. She decides to leave, the drama has become too much.

For low self-esteem women on the other hand, they often stick to him like flies stick to flypaper. A lot of women end up getting married to bad boys.

Enough about the bad boys…

Let’s focus on making you better.

The first step is to realize your “bad” nice guy traits, and why they just don’t cut it.

For this to happen, you have to gain some knowledge on female psychology. (There should be a lot of info on this site… Also check out the book review of “double your dating”, where David spends a great deal of time talking about just that.)

The next step is to eliminate your bad traits. This is easier said than done. If you have been a wussy all your life, knocking him out of you easily can take some time, and it needs a lot of self-realization.

At the third step it’s time to pick up some new traits.

The balance between bad boy and nice guy looks something like this:

• You are dominant without being domineering.
• You are masculine without being macho.
• You are forthright and trustworthy.
• You are considerate without being placating.
• You are strong yet gentle.
• You are mysterious without being deceiving.
• You are exciting without being reckless.
• You are sexually exciting in the bedroom and a gentleman in the living room.

-David Shade.

I think this explains my point pretty damn good.

Work on creating a more exciting life and personality, work on your confidence, work on your skills… That’s a pretty good start.

Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.

Learn from the bad boys, but be careful not picking up their negative traits on the way. That’s the lesson from today guys.

This is a topic I will be writing more about in the future, so stay tuned. And please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments if you have any questions.

To your success with women,
Alex Kay

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Photo #1, #2 and #3 by Azzazello, dlemieux and julianrod.

Being a man. What does that really mean?

For me, it is being completely congruent with yourself. Being confident, powerful, strong and fun to be around.

A real man doesn’t hide anything from anyone. He doesn’t have a “dark side”.

He understands social dynamics, and he just have this energy around him that makes people like him.

He is naturally the center of attention in most situations.

Under stress, or in an emergency, he becomes the natural leader.

He takes responsibility. Not only for himself, but also for others.

Being like a prince

He is kind of like a prince. A prince from a fairy tale.

Being a prince is a very powerful image you can use; I first heard it associated with masculinity over at Albert’s blog.

“A prince is confident, passionate, in control, assertive, strong, brave, loyal, and has a code of honour. He takes risks, and he doesn’t need the approval of others. He has been tempered by fire. He has faced and conquered his inner demons. And yet he is kind, gentle, and compassionate. He likes himself and is comfortable with who he is.”
- A man’s manual to being a manly man – Introduction: Being a prince

A prince is kind and helpful to his people, gentle and fierce to his lover, loving and caring to his family and a man of men.

A real prince also keeps his friends close, but his enemies closer.

What’s your opinion

I am actually writing this sitting in a taxi on my way to the airport. I am having an extended weekend to Germany.

So I just wanted to share a few thoughts on being a man with you guys today.

And I am also really curious about your opinion -

What does it mean to “be a man” to you?

Reply in the comments. I’ll be back on monday!

Image by Bēn.

Hey guys! Just as my last post, I am writing this on a laptop in Sweden. I am currently enjoying a vacation, so that’s why these last two posts haven’t been of substanstial length. Bear over with me, I’ll be back in a few days.

Today I want to take a minute and talk about the importance of skill.

Personally, I think its alfa-omega to be really good at something for succeeding in life.

For me it doesn’t really matter if you’re a fantastic singer, a great flute player, an amazing runner or the world’s best juggler – it just matters that you stand out from the crowd.

For me this is the reason mankind is so unique and interesting – we’re all different. Not two people are exactly alike.

Differentiation

But what exactly is it that differentiates us then? (Almost) everyone looks the same. Without knowing you, I can tell that you have a head with two eyes, a nose and a mouth. You also have ears, and you have a body where two arms and two legs are attached. You get the point.

I think we can all agree that it’s in the details. It’s the way we smile, the way the nose wrinkles when we feel sad. The way we blink; it’s all in the small details.

Sure, you could describe someone by saying he has a big nose, a small mouth and eyes sitting miles apart. But even then you would describe millions and millions of people.

So by understanding this, we can relate to dating. Why would a woman choose one guy over another?

In some way, he has to stick out.

It’s not only important to be really good at something to stand out; it’s also and important aspect of self-improvement. By knowing you’re one of the best (or trying to be) at something, you will naturally gain lots of self-confidence.

This new found confidence can not only be used in the dating scene; it’s useful everywhere you go.

Passion

Having a skill is also important when it comes to being happy. You will see that you can accomplish something, be it making a fantastic painting, hitting that 100kg bench press or playing your favourite song on guitar.

Sooner or later your skill will become your passion, or your passion will become your skill.

And having a passion is really sexy.

Just think about musicians; it’s not only the fame and money that makes them attractive. It’s also the fact that they do something. Same thing about athletes and sport stars.

People who have one part of their life handled will often do really well in other parts of their life too.

And that’s why I encourage everyone without a passion, without a hobby, without a skill, to do some soul searching right now.

What would you really like to be able to do?

Whatever you answer is, I don’t think you have anything to wait for. Just do it now. As a wise man once said: Every journey begins with just one step. So should yours.

Before wrapping it up, I would like you, my dear reader, to answer a question for me in the comment section below.

What’s your skill?

Image by snowriderguy.

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Bald, middle-aged men dating super hot model-type women. You see it everyday.

Whenever I used to encounter this, I always thought that the man had to have a lot of money, or power, or was really famous in some special circle that I had never heard of.

One day, I felt really depressed about my life. I had been dumped by my girlfriend just a few days ago, and to be frank, life sucked. Big time.

Emotionally, I had hit rock bottom. Ground zero. Whatever you call it nowadays.

I felt like I had nothing to lose, so one day when I saw a really “normal” looking guy, with a smoking hot babe by his side, I decided to go ask her something:

“What are you doing with this regular guy, when you could get any guy on the planet?”
I just walked straight towards them and asked.

Out of the blue, they just started to laugh like they had never laughed before. I just stood there, kind of chocked. I would have thought that they would have taken it in a kind of negative way and gotten mad at me, but no. They just stood there and laughed.

As I guess you realize, I felt really dumb.

In my misery, I turned around and started to walk away.

But I didn’t go far before a hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me around again.

“Hi, I’m Peter!” the man from before said.

I couldn’t believe it. I had just insulted him, and now he wanted to introduce himself?

I stood there, feeling really strange, and greeted him back.

“Hi… I’m Alex”.

Peter just stood there, looking really regular, smiling at me. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like walking away again, but something held me back.

“Nice to meet you, Alex. Let’s go grab a beer; I have some things to teach you.”

What?! I was so confused at this point. The hot babe from before also walked up to us, and introduced herself. Her name was Angelica, and it turned out that she was even beautifuler than I had thought.

As I didn’t know what to do, I accepted his offer. And boy, am I glad I did!

What Peter had to teach me

As I look back on my life, I think that this day was the most important day in my life.

Peter, Angelica and I walked to a nearby bar.

I still didn’t get what was going on. At this point, I actually remember thinking I was part of a reality show or something.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that Peter wasn’t as “ordinary” as I had first thought.

He talked differently, and he moved differently. There was just this “something” over him. I couldn’t quite pick it out, but I knew it was there.

Peter ordered a couple of beers, and we started to talk. It felt like he knew all about me, like he had me all figured out, just by looking at me.

Up to this point we had just been talking about regular stuff like sports, sports and more sports. We didn’t really talk about “anything” before after Angelica left.

When she did, Peter and I got into some really heavy conversation.

He started out by asking me why is was so frustrated. He said that he knew that the reason why I walked up to them earlier, and asked what she was doing with him, was that I needed a change in my life.

He figured out that I had recently lost my girlfriend, and that I was really angry and sad inside.

Not just because of my ex, but also because I felt like I had lost control over myself. He said that loosing control is one of the most dangerous things a man can lose

I didn’t agree with him then, but I do now.

Right in the middle of the conversation, Peter said that he had to go. He gave me a business card with his number on it, and said that I should call him sometime. We both knew that I would throw away the card as soon as he had left.

But then he said something that changed my mind.

“You know, Alex… You owe me a beer”.

Just like him and Angelica earlier that day, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Written out like this, it doesn’t seem funny at all. But somehow it was, it almost felt magical.

Like a big burden had been taken away from my back.

Before I had the chance to reply, Peter left.

The following days, I was really confused. Like I was trying to solve a giant puzzle inside my head, but I didn’t know where to begin.

My mind worked 24/7, but I couldn’t “figure it out”, even though I didn’t know what “it” was.

The call

One day I felt exceptional ill, and decided to call Peter.

He picked up just before I was about to hang up.

He said that he would like to see me again, and that he had a lot to tell and teach me.

We decided to meet up later that day, at a big square right in the middle of the city.

The second meeting

My heart was pounding really fast when I was standing there, waiting for him, in the middle of a thousand people.

Someone grabbed my shoulder, and I was instantly relaxed. There were just this aura around Peter; it’s really hard to explain.

I thought we were going to some bar again or something, but he actually invited me back home to his apartment.

I am not going to give you all the details, not today anyway, but meeting Peter is perhaps the most life changing experience I have ever had.

He told me that good looking girls are just girls, and even though some of them do know their market value, they are also quite bored with guys looking (too) good and acting (too) smart.

Sometimes the best way to approach these women is just to treat them as what they are… girls. Not super models.

They have been ass-kissed their whole life, and they don’t need another man to ask them out to a dinner, just so he can tell her how beautiful her eyes are.

Strange enough, behaving slightly uninterested or maybe just slightly rude (with manners!) towards these women will often work wonders.

Stay cool, be yourself. If you and your personality is interesting, you’re already miles ahead of most guys.

Women love men who are in control of themselves, not trying too hard, but playing by their own rules.

Peter is exactly like this.

He told me that he knew how I felt, and that he had been at the exact same spot in his own life just a few years ago.

It was so fascinating to listen to him. For the first few hours, I don’t think I spoke more than a few words. I was just nodding my head, listening.

What Peter taught me

Since then, Peter has been one of my very best friends. It’s always a blast to hang out with him, and in fact, I see him almost as my own brother.

He has taught me so many things about life. Too many to write down here.

But the most important thing he has taught me is that I have the ability to change. I can do whatever I want!

I know this sound like some lame “pocket philosophy”, but you, and only you, can improve your own life.

You’re in control; all the time. You take and make your own decisions. It’s your life.

And that’s why I have named this post “Date Like a Movie Star Without Looking Like Brad Pitt”. Because you can.

Looks don’t matter when it really comes down to having and living a fulfilling life.

You can date whoever you want; you just need the right attitude. It takes time, I know, but time is the only thing that all us humans have in common.

My financial situation for example, has always been great. I have never in my life really had money problems.

Girls have been a problem for me almost all my life though. When I wasn’t seeing anyone, when I didn’t have any dates, I would feel really lonely.

But when I was seeing someone, I would mentally push them away, because it was never good enough for me.

There was always this “but”, that I know now, I created myself.

I did it, and so can you

So the point of the story is this: Take action now, don’t wait until tomorrow. You, and only you, have the ability to live the life you want. You make yourself happy; don’t rely on outer conditions.

I’m sorry if this post was a little long, but I promise you, if you read through it all, it was worth it.

After all, I’m worth your time.

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Image by Fernanda Fronza