This is something I have been getting quite a few questions on lately – how do you kiss a girl for the first time?

If you are in a hurry and just want a quick tip for your date tonight, skip the rest of the article. Seriously, just read and apply the following three words and you will be fine.

Just do it.

Good. Thanks for reading to those of you who are leaving, and a big welcome to the rest of you!

There are no rules

This is absolutely crucial. When it comes to dating (and kissing girls), no matter what any guru, dating expert or friend tells you, there are no rules.

Remember that rules are meant to be broken.

In dating, there are literally millions of factors and variables, so many that it would be impossible to have every theory work for everybody all the time. And that is why I tell you this.

There are no rules.

Now, when we have that out of the way, let us get on with the good stuff!

When we talk about kissing someone for the first time, only two variables are really important: When and How.

When to kiss her for the first time

As I said earlier, the best advice I can give you is to just do it.

Most of the time, you will get the kiss. If you don’t, well, now you know. Just try again later.

I really believe in learning by mistake. But if you learn from something, was it really a mistake? I don’t think so.

Anyway.

I guess you didn’t find this article just to get smacked in the head by a guy telling you to just do it.

So here are some general pointers on when to kiss her:

• The best time to kiss a girl is when the sexual tension is at its peak point.
• No sexual tension, on the other hand, is a bad sign. Dial up the attraction as much as possible.
• Don’t wait till the end of the date. That is just cliché and unneccessary.
• Kiss her at a romantic spot so she will remember “your first kiss”. Girls really digg that stuff, so keep it in mind.
• Any kiss can be romantic though. It’s up to you.
• Kiss her when she looks you in the eyes, looks at your lips, and looks back into your eyes. This is a major interest indicator.
• You can also “feel” if she is ready to be kissed by pulling her close to you, and slowly moving your lips towards hers. What’s her reaction?

You can try to find all the signs of interest in the world before you kiss her, and test her in every single way. But the only way to really know if she’s ready to be kissed is to just do it.

How to kiss her for the first time

Ahh, kissing technique. A lovely subject indeed.

In my opinion, the best way to kiss a girl for the first time is to take it really slow.

If there has been a lot of tension dialed up, aka Ross and Rachel in Friends, sure! Go for it, Tiger.

Otherwise, just try to feel her. Get a sense of she is as a kisser.

Personally, I never bring in mr. Tongue. But that’s up to you. Nip her really gently on the lower lip. Look into her eyes. Smile. Kiss her again.

Just remember to take it slow.

If you would like to learn more kissing techniques, or read more about how to kiss girls, take a look at the following four articles:

• Be a Great Kisser – How To REALLY Kiss a Girl
• 5 Tips on Kissing Passionately from 5 Women
• How To be The Perfect Kisser
• The 5 Most Common Kissing Mistakes Men Make

I also recommend that you sign up for the free newsletter, where you’ll get a really good kissing article in a few days if you sign up now. It’s easy to subscribe (and unsubscribe), so why don’t you give it a try? ;-)

Share your views and stories on first-time kissing in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Kissing and foreplay are just means to get to sex, right? WRONG. Sex is all about giving, and girls love foreplay. You really should too.

No woman in this world enjoys the feeling that their boyfriend is using her as a masturbation tool. He barely gets in before he “shoots”.

She’s not even sure he’s in before he’s out again. The lights go off, and they both go to sleep. You really want to be that guy?

Start taking a new perspective on sex instead: The perspective of doing it for her. Make it as pleasurable for her as you possibly can; I promise you it will be better for you too.

Foreplay and kissing

As I started out by saying, girls LOVE foreplay. And a huge part of great foreplay is great kissing. Learn how to kiss, and you’ll learn the whole art of pleasure and sex. Kissing is in many ways two souls connecting on a very deep level. You’re extremely vulnerable when you kiss. Closed eyes, close body contact.

A lot has been written on the subject of kissing (also by me), but there’s still a lot to be said.

The following is a “technique” that I myself have been using to great success. Success measured in pleasure for her, that is.

It’s all about the anticipation. You can use this if it’s your first time kissing a particular girl. You can also use it on your wife through 30 years.

It’s based on the assumption that girls love to be whispered in the ear. Everyone’s different, and if you know that she absolutely hates it, do not pass go, do not collect €300. But there’s a good chance she does. Give it a try if you’re not sure.

The “real” kissing technique

When you’re talking, hold the eye contact. Move a few inches closer, look down at her lips, and look back into her eyes. Give her a sly smile and hold the sensual eye contact.

Your words will start to matter less, you will speak slower. The both of you should be able to feel the sexual tension.

Lean in, moving slowly, and whisper the following words into her ear: “In a moment, I am going to kiss you like you have never been kissed before”.

Remember to whisper really quiet, barely hearable. And definitely only to be heard by her if there are anybody nearby.

Hold the eye contact after leaning back. Lower your chin, look at her lips, and look back into her eyes.

Keep talking a little bit, depending on her reaction. Go for the kiss whenever you feel appropriate. You’re totally in control.

To add some extra suspense and anticipation, lean in like you’re going to kiss her, but don’t. Pull back.

Mastering this move can seriously drive any woman crazy. Be ware of the consequences…

The kiss itself

All the anticipation and sexual tension in the world won’t make up for a lousy kiss. Sorry!

It can cover it, it can make it better, but not in a degree that matters. The kiss itself is what it’s all about.

5 Easy Kissing Tips

• The most important thing when kissing is to take it slow. Don’t rush anything, make every second count.
• Be really gentle and sensuous. Kiss the same way you would eat a big, red, delicious strawberry. Just slower. Taste every little bite, embrace everything.
• Don’t bring in mr. tongue in too early (or not at all)
• Add some gentle biting instead. The lower lip works best for this. Again, go with the “tasting something really nice” feel.
• Remember to use your hands while kissing. This is a big one guys. All girls love to have their heads held in some way while kissing. Hands through her hair (slowly, but with force and strength) is usually a winner. Feel your way through it, do what she likes. It’s all about making her feel secure.

I guess that’s it. Here are 3 other articles I have written on the topic of kissing:

5 Tips on Kissing Passionately from 5 Women 5 of my girlfriends speak up on kissing. Highly recommended!

The 5 Most Common Kissing Mistakes Men Make The don’ts of kissing.

How To be The Perfect Kisser The opposite. Some great comments, little old post though.

If you have a minute to spare, please write me a comment with some thoughts / a report / whatever. I would love to hear from you! So please, don’t hold back :-)

I really appreciate it.

Stay cool, and see you in the comments section!
Alex

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Top Image by WTL Photos. Thanks. It’s a beautiful picture. Second one by Julia. Last one by darkroom11.

This is part two of the 5 tips from 5 women series.

In this part I have asked the exact same 5 women about what a bad kiss is and as a summary I’ll write up the mistakes you can avoid making.

I asked them:

What’s a bad kiss to you?

Pam:
Unfortunately, a bad kiss can be found in many variations. Personally, I think that the worst one is what I call the spinning propeller – where his tongue is just splashing around, not knowing where it’s going.

Another really bad one is the dog kiss, where the tongue is everywhere but in my mouth. Really not pleasant to experience… and very wet.

Once I was with a guy who just couldn’t hold his teeth in his own part of the field. The feeling that goes through your body when your teeth clash is just really, really uncomfortable. Try to avoid this at all costs!

Colleen:
A bad kiss is a kiss where the tongue either comes in too hard, or too quick.

It just keeps swirling around, like it has to clean my whole mouth or something. Focus on the lips and mouth muscles, and just let the tongue do its thing guys!

Once I was at a high school party, where I mistakenly had let a boy who was one year younger than me (that in itself, yuck!) seduce me. As the night progressed, he eventually went for the kiss. But every feeling I had had for him just flew right out like air from a balloon when he kissed me… It was so disgusting. His tongue was everywhere, and there were no feelings in it whatsoever.

Camilla:
A bad kiss is a kiss where his tongues slogan is something like “the faster the better”. It’s dry lips, bad breath and it’s unfocused and unconcentrated.

If the focus is on the television in the background, or in his hand on my ass, the kiss is just not going to be good. He should at least be able to pretend that it’s the kiss it’s all about!

Ann:
A bad kiss is a kiss without feelings, and without “team play”.

You just don’t feel “it” for eachother, and the kiss is a perfect judge for the case. A bad kiss is so much more than just a bad kiss.

Physically, a bad kiss is one where everything is fast and aggressive. A tongue down the throat is disgusting.

Personally, I would never waste my time with a bad kisser.

Rosetta:
The bad kiss is the one where the lips is way too small and cold, when the tongue is too quick, too insisting.

And when the hands are totally away, or headed right for the “erotic zones” – way too fast!

A bad kiss can kill all parts of an initial attraction, so go slow, and turn it up as you go along.

The 5 Most Common Kissing Mistakes Men Make

1. Speed men, speed! The way I see the big picture on kissing, women really like it slow. Not just slow movements, but also slow progressions.
2. The delicate balance of the tongue. This is the tricky part, when should the tongue come into play? The best pointer is that it shouldn’t be forced, and it should feel very natural. Try to stick it out just a little bit, and see if you can a reaction, before you put in the whole cavalry.
3. Fix the lips. Cold and dry is what you want to avoid. A little bit of Vaseline or similar everyday should do the trick.
4. Control your hands. This is really important. You should know where she likes your hands to be placed, and for most women, it’s not the breasts/butt (right away).
5. Fix your breath. Also really simple. Drink some water; chew a chewing gum, anything. Alcohol and cigarette breath is the worst, fish isn’t too pleasant either.

Image by .f@rfie.

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A good kiss is like a dance – the man has to be in charge, but if you don’t play well together, it doesn’t work.

That’s one of the things, 5 things, 5 of my girlfriends (friends that happen to be of the female gender) shares in the following short article.

I asked them the following question:

What’s a good kiss to you?

Pam:
A good kiss is concentrated, wet without being wet, focused, and surprising. A long kiss in the middle of making dinner, or washing clothes, just because, can be amazing. It’ll make a woman really happy. You could say that long kisses at surprising (not too surprising!) times can add a spark of uncertainty and sexual tension to any relationship.

Colleen:
A good kiss is a kiss which knocks your off your feet – The world is spinning around, and the feeling goes through your whole body. It could be said, that a good kiss, feels like you get an electric chock of love right through you. Uhhm!

Camilla:
A good kiss is when he holds my face in his hands. His fingers an inch or two up in my hair, holding it away from my ears. He’s decisive, but openly adventurous. His eyes are looking at me, my mouth and my eyes. He could say something hot; the kiss itself is soft and a little bit wet.

His tongue is just like the rest of him; adventurous and soft. It should be looking for my tongue to come out and play, but not for too long. It’s a kiss who demands a lot, but when done correctly, can knock any girl of her feet. Remember to not just kiss on the mouth, but also on the cheeks and the neck.

Ann:
A good kiss is a kiss where it’s obvious that the man feels you and accepts you as a whole – not just as a sex object. A good kiss builds up and plays with you. A good kiss touches the whole body, and is at the same time both sensitive and bold, and romantic and horny. A good kiss plants deep down in the stomach, and stays there, sometimes for days. A good kiss can make you dizzy.

Rosetta:
A good kiss variates in it’s hotness, length and wetness. Both round and forth and back. A good kiss doesn’t have to last for a 1000 years, make every second count instead. A good kiss is like a dance – the man has to be in charge, but if you don’t play well together, it doesn’t work.

What can you learn?

• Girls see kisses in a more romantic way than guys. Fact.
• It’s a lot more about the feelings behind it, than the kiss itself.
• Variate, be a little unpredictable.
• It’s not about the length, although a good kiss shouldn’t last less than about 10 seconds, it’s about what you do with the time.
• Be a little adventurous, be the leader.
• Use your whole body, especially your hands.
• Need more tips? Here’s My 18 Tips for a Perfect Kiss.

In a few days, I’ll also ask the girls what they define as a bad kiss. That should be interesting!

And now I’m going to ask you, my dear readers,

What’s a good kiss to you?

Image by peachknee

Everyone remembers their first kiss. Or their last kiss. Kissing is something that everyone loves, and if done right, it can be almost as fulfilling as sex.

So in this post we’ll discuss if she’s ready to be kissed, and how to do it right if she is. Enjoy!

Is she ready?

Kissing is by no doubt the definitive line between romance and friends. Once you have “really” kissed, it seems that you just can’t go back to being friends again. So when you kiss for the first time, it’s all or nothing.

Let’s look at how to know when she is ready to be kissed:

First of all, you have to know that you have built both attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

This process is outside the scope of this article. But if you haven’t, kissing her would be like kissing your mom. It’s just wrong.

Secondly, there are a few clues that you can use to know when she’s ready.

The most obvious would one being if her initiating a kiss directly, but as most other things about women, you have to be the initiator.

So look after small hints:

• Is she grabbing your hand when you walk?
• Does she hold eye contact a little longer than comfortable?
• Does she run her fingers through your hair?

These are all good signs of interest from her.

Or if you want to test her, you could do some of the same things. See how she responds. If she responds positively, she is usually ready to be kissed.

When to kiss her

If you have been on a date, kiss her at your “emotional high”. In movies, this is often in a middle of a fight, or after the man or woman said “I love you”. For you, it doesn’t have to be at these exact moments. But time your kiss to when she feels the most attraction for you. Don’t let “the moment” slip away.

Don’t wait until you say goodbye or to some other predictable time. Kiss her when you feel like it.

Good, so now we have at least a small idea on when to kiss her. But there’s a few things you need to know first:

Preperations:

1. Do you have bad breath? Check by licking on your wrist and smelling the saliva. If it smells bad, your breath probably does too. Use mouthwash, drink water, chew chewing gum. Whatever it takes! Bad breath can really kill the moment.

2. Take care of your lips. Lips that are cracked and ugly just don’t invite kissing.

3. Shave. Although your trimmed beard might look sexy, it will itch and scratch when you kiss, hurting both of you.

The kiss:

• Take it easy. Don’t kiss just to “get to the next step”.
• Enjoy it. And she will too.
• Take notice of your mouth muscles. If you’re lips are too tight, she might think that you are tense. But if you’re too sloppy, you’ll come off as uninterested.
• Match her tempo. Or set it yourself.
• You’re not a dentist! If you french kiss, stay away from everything else than her tongue.
• Tilt your head. Nose clashing is not really considered a turn on.
• Close your eyes. A quick peep is OK, everything else is just awkward.
• Move your head. If kissing more passionately, moving your head from side to while kissing can really turn up the heat.
• Tease her. Pull away and look into her eyes. Stop just an inch before reaching her mouth. You get the drill.
• Variate. Don’t ever let your kiss get boring.
• Dont drool.
• Don’t just kiss the lips. Move onto the neck, kiss her cheek, and slowly kiss her eyes. If done right, this can be a major turn on.
• Bite her. Some people like small amounts of sensual biting while they kiss. I personally do.
• Use your hands. Tease her, run them through her hair, anything. Dead hands usually mean a dead kiss.

But remember, these entire tips mean nothing if you don’t use them.

So my number one tip is to get out there and try everything out. As you know, practice makes perfect.

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Many guys ask me questions like “when should I make my move?” or “how do I know if she is ready?” and as everything else regarding women, the answer is not simple.

In part one we talked about turning girls on, and that many women are like “volume knobs, needing to be turned up slightly, one nod at a time”.

Patience is key, and you have to really act like you don’t need it. I know that this sounds paradoxal, but if done right, it will create a lot of sexual anticipation.

Lean back, and let things roll of for themselves. Women like sex as much as you do, they just need more turning on, so if you do something that works, keep doing it.

Keep teasing her, keep talking sensually, keep up the kissing, in other words, keep her hot. And at last she will “give in”, being completely sexually aroused.

These are 3 common signs that she is ready to take it one step further:

• She starts taking her or your clothes off.
• She grabs you down there.
• She says something like “It’s getting hot in here”, or “I am really getting turned on”.

It could also be the way she looks at you, or the way you kiss. It shouldn’t be too hard to know when she’s ready.

When she is, it’s time for you to act. No more leaning back, it’s time to take some action, man!

• 1. Run your hands slowly over her ass.
• 2. Pull her shirt up a little bit, just enough to expose her lower back and stomach. Start touching and stroking her sensually around these areas, avoiding the “sexual ones”, and remembering what I said in part one about touching.
• 3. If the “It’s hot in here” signals keep coming from her, keep doing what you’re doing. Keep kissing her and touching her, slowly and sensually. If not, take it a few steps back and go back to create more anticipation.
• 4. Remember to stop once in a while. Look her deep in the eyes and smile. Kiss her lightly and continue.
• 5. Take of her shirt. Touch around the edge of her underwear, kiss, and keep doing what you’re doing.
• 6. Kiss around her neck, her shoulders and her back. Add some mini-biting and tasting if you want.
• 7. It’s time to go for her breasts. I assume that she is wearing a bra, so slowly turn her around and take it off. You can whisper in her ear a little while doing it, or smelling her neck and shoulders.
• 8. Kiss some more. Remember anticipation and stopping once in a while.
• 9. If you’re doing everything right, you should keep seeing some of the “I’m getting turned on” signs.
• 10. If she’s still wearing pants, help her take them off. Keep touching, kissing, smelling and tasting her.
• 11. You should also wear very little clothes by now.
• 12. It’s up to you what you are going to do next, but I guarantee you that if you follow this sequence in the right order, and keep up with the anticipation, gold will rain upon you.

The old saying “Everything comes to those who wait” is pretty true in this case. Keep doing what works until you feel that it’s time to move on. And remember to not rush any of this, the slower the better. Good luck!

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When talking about sex, men are usually painfully simple. You see a hot woman,
and instantly (in just a few seconds!) you’re “in the mood”. Unfortunately, women and sex is just a lot more complex.

When a woman sees an attractive man, usually she won’t “just” become “in the mood”. She gets interested in him, she wants to “get to know him” better. I think that this concept is drilled deep into the female mind, from over 40.000 years ago, when the man had to be very protective and royal towards her. The woman is still the one that has to carry the babies, and therefore needs a lot more certainty about who she has sex with.

Good, so now we know that turning on a woman might have more to it than just looking at her direction. You have to work her senses right before taking it to the bedroom. She has to really be “in the mood”.

You might say that men are just on/off switches, whereas women are more like a volume knob, which needs to be turned up lightly, one nod at a time.

One of the best ways to get her in the mood is this little thing called foreplay. For many men foreplay is just something to get over with as fast as possible, where as for the majority of women, foreplay is actually more important, or “nicer”, than the sex act itself. Now think about that for a minute!

So let’s get right to it, here are 8 tips in 3 small categories to more sensual foreplay:

Senses:

They say a woman’s senses are the way to her heart. And they’re right.

Your voice. Voice tone and sensual (not sexual) language is really important in getting her turned on. Use your voice to describe what you are going to do to her, in a painfully detailed way. “I am going to kiss your beautiful lips all over, first a small kiss on the upper lip, then one on the lower lip, maybe I am going to bring in the tongue at some time, but at first I just want to kiss you slowly. Your lips feel so good; I could just kiss you for hours.” This is great stuff, remember that women love details.

Smells and smelling. Smelling is a big part of the woman’s sexual mind. Remember to wear a great perfume, maybe a deodorant if needed, and to just be “fresh”. Another thing women love is to be smelled. Just standing behind her, and smelling her neck up and down, telling her how well she smells. This can really turn her on in a big way.

Cuddling. Kissing, stroking, caressing and touching are all a big part of foreplay.

Notice I didn’t write anything about the sight? That’s because women get turned on more by the other senses, and that the visuals aren’t *THAT* important.

Anticipation:

Women love to be waiting on the edge of their seats, they love to be surprised. Use anticipation in the right way and there won’t be any routes that are not leading to the bedroom.

Surprise. And no, I do not mean surprise in such a way as having a plane write “I love you” in the skies. Tell her that you have a surprise for her that she is going to like. Tell her that she can’t have it just yet. If done in the right way, this can lead to massive sexual anticipation. When you finally “give in”, give her something sensual like massage oil, which you can use to rub her back (which is also a great “foreplay move”. Just remember to do it slowly and sensual, making her feel good.)

Stop. If you are doing something that she really likes, like a back rub, or you’re kissing, stop. Pull away. Look into her eyes; blink if you’re feeling cocky. Do something else, and get back to the thing that she really likes a few moments later. This will also create a lot of sexual anticipation, and she will wonder why you stopped. Women loves having what they love taken away (sexually), and then given back to them.

Make her miss you. This is not really “for the moment”, but if she truly misses you, when you’re travelling, when you’re at work, anything, you are going to have an easier time getting her to the bedroom. For all the time that you have been gone, she will remember you and think about you.

Kind of like when soldiers get home from a war. Their wives and girlfriends have been so anxious that something happened to them, that they will think about their man almost all the time. They think of all the good times they have had together, and of course they want to have more times like that.

Simply having her think about you in a positive way will create sexual anticipation. When the man (you) finally gets home, the bedroom is almost always the first stop. This “miss” is rather hard to “accomplish”, you just have to know what’s going on. And I guess that you miss your woman when you’re away, too.

Stimulation:

Touching. Gently and slowly are the keywords here. Use your fingertips and run them all over her body. Try to avoid the breasts and ass. Remember what you have just learned about anticipation. If you leave out these “sexual areas”, she will wonder why, and at last she will WANT you to touch her there, just because you wouldn’t. Women love having what they can’t get.

Kissing. Sensually and warm is important here. Kiss her very lightly at the tip of her lips, then draw back, and look into her eyes. Start kissing again. Lick her lips, bite her kindly. Again, remember anticipation, its key!

This was part 1 of the 2 part series on women and sexuality. The next part will be about really transitioning into the bedroom, how to know if she is “ready” and how to “make your move”. Subscribe to our RSS Feed and be the first to know!