Massaging your partner or girl is a wonderful way to explore her body and get to know her on a more profound and deeper level.

It’s one of the most loving acts one can conduct. Everyone likes getting a massage. And even more so if it’s done by a person whom they trust, since a massage can be a very intimate thing.

But a great massage is better than a good massage, and that’s exactly what you will learn today. There is more to a massage than the type of strokes that you use. It’s not just technique. It’s the complete experience…

In some ways, a lot of ways actually, a massage relates to sex. And just as great sex (often) requires some kind of foreplay, so does a great massage.

Foreplay to massage

The best kind of foreplay starts in the mind.

If you’re hanging out at your place one day, walk up behind her, gently massage her neck for a few seconds, and whisper in her ear: “do you enjoy this?”

She’ll most likely moan a little and say yes. Then you simply stop, and walk away.

Plant the seed in her mind

Over the course of a day (or a couple!), do this a few times. Plant the seed in her mind. You may even say: “honey, when you get home from work on Friday, I’ll give you a long, well earned, massage.”

There’s nothing she can do but to look forward to it.

Of course a massage doesn’t have to be a big event or a planned thing; it can just as well be quick and spontaneous. But for the sake of this article, let’s just keep it as an ‘event’.

When the “big day” comes, make sure that you have prepared. You’ll need a couple of things:

• Time. Make sure that you both have at least half an hour. I would recommend more, but that’s the bare minimum.
• Massage oil. Massage oil is used for decreasing friction on the skin, and for the warming effect. It’s pure sexiness. Make sure to warm it in your hand before applying it to the skin though, since it can be a pretty cold and unpleasant experience otherwise.
• Candles. The environment is a big part of the massage. Make sure the room is absolutely dark. Light some candles – they’ll help by warming the room and making the experience even more intimate.
• Music. Music can help soothe and relax her. This is a very individual thing. Try to get a hold of some “mediation music” or similar, preferably without any vocal performance. The most popular choice is the simple sound of the ocean and the waves. I personally like Asian inspired stuff too, like monks chanting (which is actually a vocal performance, but you get my point… no singing) or some traditional drums. African music also works well But don’t digress if you don’t have this stuff lying around – any kind of soft music will work, and in reality, it’s not even that important. It’s just one of many ways to set the mood.
• Towels. Used to hold the body warm and to wipe off excess massage oil.

The massage itself

So you’re ready to give your massage. But what about the actual movements? Instead of writing 10 pages with clumsy descriptions, I’ll forward you to some videos which will give you some pointers on what to do. But as always, experiment and find out what works for you and your partner.

Useful videos:

How to massage your girl – Sample back massage.

How to massage away lower back pain – The title says it all.

How to give a back massage – How to give a back massage, with accompanying instructions.

A quick search on Youtube or on a similar site will give you thousands of results. There are also lots of great books and DVD’s on the subject out there.

Useful articles:

The Beginner’s Guide to Massage – Short and sweet article discussing beginner strokes and some of the dos and don’ts of a good massage.

5 tips to get a massage job – 5 tips on how to get a job as a masseuse. (Acquire a feel for muscles, use a firm grip, vary your hand positions, experiment with oils and lotions and talk to your partner.)

Massage your partner – A step by step guide on massaging your partner. Worth a look. Also complemented with a video at the end.

Additional massage tips

Since we’re all different, we all like different stuff. So my two best personal massage tips are the following:

Ask and feel.

The best massage therapists I know ask the client in question about everything from spot, to stroke, to firmness to temperature. It takes a few massages to really know what a person responds well to.

So don’t be afraid to ask your girl what she likes. Start out with some of the basics (watch the videos for some pointers), and work your way from there. Ask her how she likes the pressure etc.

It’s easy enough to listen to her answers and follow the instructions. But the very best massage is when no words are spoken. You simply just go with the flow, and feel through your partner. You feel what she feels, and so you’ll know exactly what to do.

You see what I meant when I said that a massage is a lot like sex now, right? :-)

This kind of flowing massage takes a great deal of practice to pull off, but it will come in time. The best thing to do to get good at massaging is to do it a lot. The second best thing is to get massaged yourself. That way you’ll get to know how the body responds to different kind of strokes and techniques.

In time, you’ll build up a powerful repertoire of ‘moves’ and you’ll get an outline for a routine. These things are not necessary, but an underlying structure for the massage can be a good thing to have in mind.

Don’t just massage the back

There’s more to a woman’s body than just her back. You know that just as well as I do.

Massage her hands, her arms, around her shoulders and back down.

Massage her feet, her calves, her thighs, all slowly, and go back down to the feet.

Massage her neck, her ears, her buttocks…

There are hundreds of possibilities. Just remember to do it firmly and slowly at the same time.

Massage her with “emotion” so to speak, bringing your energy through your fingertips.

Don’t be afraid to kiss some of the places you have massaged, before moving onto a new area – it can really make a woman feel loved. And isn’t that what we all want, deep down, anyway? :-)

I’ll let that be up to you.

Now just go out and massage your woman and me proud, son!

(Make sure to let me know how it goes in the comments below. And by the way, this post was post #100. Yay!)

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Images by Aphodsotherhead, RobW and Akbar Simonse.

Do you want to get strong, but at the same time lose fat and build muscle? Then the StrongLifts 5 x 5 Strength Training Program is for you.

It’s really a rather simple “workout”, consisting of only two different sessions, and 8 different exercises, which will train your whole body.

So if you’re looking to fulfill that new years resolution that you should start working out – here’s your chance!

The only thing you have to do, is to sign-up to the newsletter, and download the ebook you will receive shortly thereafter. It’s as simple as that. All the information is on the page though, so don’t worry.

I personally recommend this program to anyone who’s looking to get started in the gym, and I am using a variation of this workout scheme myself, so far with more-than-great results.

So once again, check it out, and if you have any questions, my friend Mehdi (author of the program, which is FREE by the way) will be happy to answer them for you.

Till next time guys,
Alex

Doing single-jointed exercises like the dumbbell biceps curl might feel good, and sure, your biceps will get bigger over time.

But what if I told you that all the time you have been doing biceps curls, you could have been doing multi-jointed exercises, and by now, you would have packed on twice the muscle?

By using more muscles to move the weight, you’ll also be able to handle more kilos, increasing performance, burning more fat, minimizing injury and making you look better.

Train like an athlete

So if you start training like an athlete instead of training like a bodybuilder, and focusing on getting strong, instead of just looking strong, and you will gain lots of benefits.

It will be easier to see your progress, too. If you measure by how much you can squat, you can’t make any mistakes. Either you squat 100 kilos 5 times, or you don’t. You could say that there is no room for error.

On the other side, if you train more like a bodybuilder and only measure by inches and by looking in the mirror, there’s a big room for error. Mirrors can lie. Kilos can’t.

So what can you do?

Simply, start switching as many single-jointed exercises as you can with multi-jointed ones, training the same areas.

For example, instead of doing leg extensions or leg presses, start squatting or deadlifting.

And stop doing dumbbell chest flies, and start bench pressing.

Or instead of the preacher curls, start doing some pull-ups.

You get the drill.

I am no fitness expert, and I am therefor not in a position to tell you exactly which exercises will train specific parts of your body.

But I do know that if you start switching your isolated exercises to the compund exercises, you will both see and feel the difference on your body.

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Well, the answer could be the mother of all sports: boxing.

And you don’t have to risk a broken nose or a black eye either. Enroll in a boxing club if you want the real atmosphere and that true Rocky feeling, or just try one of the classes in your local fitness studio.

They are normally called things like Pro Boxing, Boxercise or similar. And there is another great thing about boxing classes: They attract a lot of women.

You don’t need any fancy or expensive equipment: What you normally would wear in the gym is fine, and all you need to invest in is a pair of gloves (roughly 40 dollars) and hand wraps (20 dollars max) to protect your knuckles and wrists.

Remember a bottle of water, too.

You will get new skills

If you have never boxed before, you need to get a few things straight from the start.

It’s not just about hitting hard, it’s about learning to avoid getting hit, and to learn how to protect yourself.

To be able to do that, you need to learn the correct posture, get your balance right and never let the guard down.

You will spend a lot of time finding out how all of this should be done – and it’s much harder than you think.

But after 5 hours of practising, you suddenly know how to punch, how to duck and dance away, and how to effortlessly divert the throw at your body into a counterattack.

All of this gives you balance, a lot of training for your back, legs and abdominal muscles. You will be light on your feet like a panther, fast as a reptile and smooth in your way of moving. You will get faster.

You will gain a lot of muscle

Remember Rocky’s training sessions?

Well, its not that hard these days, but classic exercises like skipping the rope, military favourites like jumping jacks and of course lots of push-ups are essential parts of any boxing class.

All trainers have different methods, but they are normally quite simple and usually very effective.

For example: my trainer puts in 15-20 push-ups between different parts of the class, and all of a sudden you realize, that you within an hour have performed 200 push-ups. That is quite a massive amount of training.

Another example: Hitting the sack with your left jab arm with full power for a minute doesn’ t sound hard, does it? Think again!

One minute of this will make your arm, shoulder and back go almost numb from strain. After a few weeks, you will notice that your body looks different, and especially your triceps, back and shoulder muscles will have grown and look more tuned.

You will get that V-shape. Just take a look at any professional boxer – they don’t look bulky, do they?

You will lose weight

An important part of box training is stamina: If you don’t have the ability to fight for 3 minutes in a row, you would lose the round or even get knocked out.

So you need to be in good shape. Your training will include things like interval running, jumping up and touching your breast with your knees, running on the spot for 1 minute as fast as you can – that type of training.

All of this will make you use a lot of energy meaning that you will lose weight. But its not as tedious as running for 10 kilometres or go bicycling for 2 hours.

This training is high-intensive, and the atmosphere and the pumping music will make you forget how hard it really is.

Have you ever watched boxing on TV? These top-tuned athletes train for hours every day, and still, some of them are just completely exhausted and can’t fight anymore after just a few rounds.

That is how hard boxing is on a professional level – and after hitting the sack for just a few minutes you know why, and your sweaty T-shirt will be the evidence! You will drop kilos fast, but you won’t use that much time on the project.

You will clear your mind

As for all intensive training, boxing has a therapeutic effect. You can hardly think of your work, bills or love problems when the biggest issue RIGHT NOW is to make that extra push-up, or avoid getting hit by the trainer if you forget your guard position.

There is also something quite primitive about boxing. It’s up to you, your skills, your stamina – and nothing else. You’re not part of a team, or someone in the back row of an aerobics class.

You’re all alone, and something happens in your brain, trust me. Something I can only describe as releasing your powers and hormones in a positive way, instead of taking it out on the road or in your relationship.

People might notice that you smile more, you seem more confident and relaxed. And for sure you are: You know by know, that you can manage one of the toughest training techniques in the world – so hey, that problem in the office is just a little something, when comparing it to make the last 5 minutes of skipping the rope at maximum speed.

Notice your mental change – it will come guaranteed.

Boxing is sexy

Next time you talk to a woman you just might be interested in, and she asks you what you do in your spare time, what do you think sounds best? “I play golf” or “I box”?

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Photo by Loura.

We have all been there, at least I know I have. You come home from a stressful day at work, or maybe you felt too depressed to even get out of the door.

Everything just went wrong, your girl left you, your favourite sports team lost an important game; It doesn’t matter.

The thoughts just swirl around in your head, and you can’t really focus on anything. Even the easiest tasks seem impossible, and at least for now, you just can’t enjoy life.

When I feel down, here are some of the things I do to drag myself up:

Problem solving:

More than often, what’s getting your down roots out in some kind of problem. If it’s concrete, I advice you to follow these 5 steps:

• Stop doing whatever you are doing, and sit down. Breathe slowly and controlled, and think about what it is that gets you down.
• You need to identify the problem(s). Without a problem you can’t really make a goal, and without a goal you can’t take action. In this case, no action means no mental healing. And that’s what we want, right?
• Write it down. Make a list of what’s depressing you. Take out a paper and pen, and start writing. It’s that simple. This is done to physically get it “out of your head”. Now you can look at your problems in a more objective way.
• Once you have it out of your head and in a different perspective, start thinking about solutions or positive things about what’s bothering you.
• Take massive action. Do whatever is necessary to solve your problem. You know what to do, now you just need to actually do it. Start now!

Be happy:

Sometimes you can’t seem to identify a problem, or there are just too many to overcome. In these cases, I advice you to focus more on being happy than anything else. This have to come first, as you will get a whole new outlook when you really feel alive. So follow these 12 tips, and you’ll be up again in no time.

• Understand that it’s okay to feel sad. Don’t ignore it, just don’t let the feeling take over you.
• Once you can do that, start focusing on what makes you happy. Do what you enjoy, go see a movie, walk the dog, whatever. And whenever the bad feelings start popping up, acknowledge them, clear your mind, and think about something else. Don’t ever think negative thoughts for more than a few seconds.
• Again, lists can help you. Write down some of the things that you like to do, and hang them up on your fridge. Do at least one of these things every day. Look forward to it, and enjoy it while you do it.
• Use fantastic words. If someone asks you how your day was, and you answer with a “fine”, that fine is going to define your day. If you instead tell him that you had a marvellous, amazing or incredible day, that is what your day was or is going to be. Keep this in mind!
• Think in opportunities. Remember that every failure is one step closer to success.
• Think about what you really want to do. Maybe this is a golden opportunity to try a new challenge or new direction in your life. If you really always wanted to be a stock broker, a teacher or a marketing guy, check out what you need to do or learn to get there. Enroll at the university, go to evening classes, seek out profesionals in the industry. Whatever it takes, your only limitation is your imagination.
• Look good. While you feel a little down and depressed, remember to take good care of yourself. It’s much easier to feel sorry for that sad bum in the mirror, than it is to feel the same way about a well groomed, and well dressed young man.
• Get out. You have probably heard this hundreds of times before, but a little exercise and some fresh air can do wonders for your mood. Be open and positive, and a trip to the park can be amazingly beautiful. Look at the birds in the trees, the couples walking around having a good time.
• Surround yourself with happy people. Don’t hang around negative types, sooner or later their mood will affect you. Sad but true.
• Music is medicine for the soul. We all have a favourite band or song, so don’t be afraid to play it! Play it loud, dance around, sing along. Suddenly the burdens on your shoulders seem to lighten a little. Play another wonderful song, and soon they will be far away.
• Smile. Smiling at yourself or to other people is an instant happiness booster. You could say that you trick the body to think that you are happy, and naturally, you’ll also become happy.
• Laugh. Just like smiling, laughing is tricking the body and mind to think that you are happier than you are. So put on your favourite show, and laugh – even if it’s not funny.

All this might seem a little too simple and maybe even a little silly, but I will challenge you to do everything described here the next time you feel down and depressed. As my guarantee, if it doesn’t help, I will personally send over a box of cookies.

Stay happy!

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Few things are more attractive to women than a healthy smile, and it has been proven that those with white teeth smile more.

And those who smile more get more girls, live longer and suffer less from depressions.

So there are enough reasons to get a brighter smile, here are my 21 tips and suggestions:

Brush your teeth

• First of all you need to actually brush your teeth! This can’t be stressed enough, without a healthy mouth, you just won’t get a bright and beautiful smile.
• So get a toothbrush you’re comfortable with, and brush your teeth regularly, preferably 2 times per day. Do what works best for you.
• Remember to brush in the right direction. Outwards and in small circle movements.
• When you brush your teeth, take an extra minute or two and floss in between teeth too. If you don’t, you might miss up to 30% of bacteria.

Smile more:

• An important factor in a bright and healthy smile is also to remember to actually smile. Remember that if you smile to the world, the world will smile at you.

Fresh breath:

• You will smile more if you have a fresh breath, so start brushing your tongue too.
• And use mouthwash once in a while to kill bacteria on the tongue and in the mouth.
• Chewing gum can be a quick solution and a life saver, but remember that it does not replace regular brushing.

Eat and drink right:

• A healthy diet will benefit your smile just the same way as it will benefit the rest of your body.
• Lay off sugar and sweets.
• Drop the chocolate. Unfortunately, besides all the good things about it, chocolate is often packed with sugar, and has the ability to discolour your teeth.
• Quit smoking.
• Drink your milk. Not only is it healthy in numerous of ways, it also contains calcium which helps you build strong and beautiful teeth.
• Although fruit is generally a healthy choice, it might not always be for your teeth.
• Dark drinks such as coffee, cola, tea (iced tea, too) and red wine stain your teeth. Avoid them as much as you can.
• Use a straw to prevent stains from the dark drinks listed above. It helps the beverage bypass the teeth without doing any damage. Ok, it might look dorky if you drink tea through a straw, but at least drink your cokes and iced teas through them.

Whitening teeth:

• These days there are lots of ways to artificially whiten and bleaching teeth.
• One way is to visit your dentist and hear about the options there. It’s often rather expensive, but the result won’t disappoint you.
• Another way is to buy a home kit. They often consist of strips with gel on them, which you have to put on your teeth for about 30 minutes a day. Generally they give very good results, and are often cheaper than the dentist solutions.

Taking care of your teeth:

• Remember to visit your dentist at least twice a year. Just getting a little check up won’t hurt.
• Never “take a break” from taking care of your teeth. Make it a habit, and follow it ruthlessly. Forgetting about it for one evening is ok; just remember to brush them the next day again.

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Question 1

“I’m not actually a man, but I figure tinnitus is a pretty gender neutral affliction ;) My question would be, what’s the best way to get over it?” – Skellie

My answer:

Tinnitus is affecting men a little more often than women. Hearing loss and tinnitus are well connected, and more men than women work in noisy places (construction, industry, musicians) and there also seems to be a slight male overweight in tinnitus cases without noise exposure, also among young people. But lets get back to your question. You will not get rid of it in the sense that a wound will heal or like recovering from a broken bone.

This goes for tinnitus coming from noise or damage to your central nerve system caused by certain drugs and medicines. But there is also the possibility that your tinnitus origins from tension in your neck, jaw, back, or even your muscles in your face. A few very simple but helpful tips:

1. Relax. This can be really hard, when all you can concentrate about is the hissing sound in your head. But try anyway. Go and see a therapist or chiropractist, learn how to relax maybe using yoga or meditation.

2. Exercise more. Exercise, especially that kind where you use all your strength and stamina, like running, playing football, martial arts or boxing, are good. You will focus 100% at the activity, get caught up in the action, and will forget the sound, giving your central nerve system a break, and so to say teaching yourself that you don’t have to focus on the sound 100% of your time. And it the same time, you will get fitter. Not bad, huh?

3. Enjoy the natural sounds surrounding you. Try to really listen actively to cars, the wind in the trees, the radio playing in the background. Train your central nerve system to focus at other sounds, like your feet while walking. It takes some time, but it´s all about training.

4. Don´t be afraid. Remember, this is just a sound. And sounds don´t hurt you. They are not dangerous. If you react to the sound like the sound of the fridge humming (and that´s not annoying, is it?) your tinnitus will take its proper place in your consciousness, gradually fading away.

5. Get your healthy sleep. If you have severe sleeping problems, it’s OK to take sleeping pills from time to time. These drugs are now not as addictive as they used to be, and mentally it´s nice to have them as a backup. Just having them will relax you. And that’s good.

Skellie, without knowing you or anything about your tinnitus, these are a few useful tips how to get on top of your tinnitus, controlling it and eventually notice it fade away into complete silence. This happened to me after 19 months of tinnitus, where the first year was quite bad. Now, I hardly notice it, and from time to time I experience complete silence for days. Good luck!

Question 2

“I went to this really loud concert a few days ago, and afterwards I noticed that my hearing was somewhat muffled and I notice a not very loud but irritating high-pitched tone in my right ear. Should I worry, go see the doctor or just relax and see what happens?” – Rufus

My answer:

Hi Rufus, by now, I hope your hearing is ok again. You have experienced a noise trauma, where your whole inner ear and especially your hair cells in your cochlea have been working overtime.

If this is the first time you experience this, chances are very good that your tinnitus will disappear within a few days.
Some of your hair cells are now probably dead – and they will not come back. The ones you have left must be protected.

1. No loud music. Don’t use your iPod, and if you do, keep the volume very low.

2. Wear protection. Next time you go to a concert, or know you will be exposed to noise, wear protection. You can easily get something from the drugstore for a few dollars, or invest a little more and get the type of protection professional musicians use: They don’t disturb the frequencies, so you will still enjoy all sounds and the music, but instead of the full 100 db blast to your ears, you will be exposed to 75 db. And that’s all it takes to save your ears from further damage.

3. Give your ears a break. You don’t have to listen to music all the time, go for a walk in a quiet place like in the woods or enjoy the silence while diving, that kind of silence. It´s pure medicine for your ears.

Question 3

“I´m a guy (28) who for as long as I can remember had something I only can describe as a buzzing or whistling sound in my head, like a TV set not tuned into any channel. It doesn´t really bother me that much, but what is it? It gets worse when I´m tired or stressed. My hearing is OK, even though places like bars and clubs or places with a lot of noisy people are hard to handle from time to time. Just read this post, and guess that you maybe could help me.” – Hanson

My answer:

Hi Hanson, I´d like to know more about you. When did you notice your tinnitus for the first time? As a teenager? As a child? Did you have any ear problems as a child? Any history of tinnitus or hearing problems in your family?

What you describe could be something like what a colleague of mine also is having. She doesn´t give her tinnitus much attention, but like you is wondering where the heck it comes from? Please write again.

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THIS FRIDAY (19th october) we’re bringing in tinnitus expert Fred Stepanov to answer YOUR questions about tinnitus, and how to get rid of it.

Drop us an email, or a comment before sunday and he will answer answer any question or concerns you might have.

Subscribe to our RSS Feed to be the first to know when Fred Stepanov answers your questions about tinnitus!

Things started off bad

I leave home at 08.30, the race is going to start in roughly an hour. I don’t have a car, and there’s around 5 kilometres to the starting area, so I decide to take my bicycle. But I had a struck of bad luck. I had a flat tire 600 meters away from home on my bicycle, so I had to run back and change to my sons bicycle, and then get to the starting area in time.

When I finally got there, I was very late. The race was going to start in 5 minutes, and still I hadn’t got my chip, I hadn’t changed clothes and I hadn’t warmed up. Shit!

I just threw the bike away, tried to find the chip spot, got the chip, fastened it to my shoelaces, stripped off my clothes, threw them into a plastic bag in a corner, prayed that I would find it again and ran to the starting line.

As the announcer called all 3.000 runners to take their positions, I was stressed out. I had not warmed up physically, and mentally I wasn’t ready at all.

Go straight to the 5 Things I’ve Learned »

The race

0-1 km: Bang! It´s 09:30 in the morning. Off we go, and I just try not to step and run into other people. I find myself trapped behind three big ladies, wearing T-shirts saying “Walking is as good as running”. Do I need to say they were walking…erhhh…quite slowly?

1-2 km: A little more room now. I focus on finding my normal running pace, thinking about how I extend my legs, lifting my pelvis to an upright position, keeping my shoulders low and remembering to breathe.

2-3 km: I run. Things are working, and as we are running through the outskirts of the city, and the morning sun fights it´s way through the clouds, I feel alive and happy.

3-4 km: We are now a small group of people running at the same pace, and I notice a guy running in a T-shirt saying “I run for the police, not from the police”. That´s a good statement. There’s another guy with a T-shirt saying: “As long as I´m out running, I don´t have to stay at home with my wife”. The cobblestones of the city have now changed into concrete. Nice, I like concrete, it gives you good friction and you won´t slip even if has been raining.

4-5 km: I feel just right. Legs are working, lungs are pumping, I check my watch and see that I have been using 4,40 minutes per kilometre up until now, it´s all according to plan. I have just begun to run, and my body is fully awake, I´m not sweating, I´m not thirsty and everything is just perfect. No wind, no rain, no sun, and that girl a few meters in front of me have beautiful long legs and the most perfect (…) to focus at.

5-6 km: As we enter a stretch of somewhat slippery concrete with some sand on top of it (this is an area where the city is building the new headquarters of the national broadcasting company, and they also plan for a new line of the subway) I for the first time notice that I´m a little hot. A small streak of sweat lingers on my forehead, and finds its way into the corner of my eye.

6-7 km: For the first time, I notice my legs. They work all right, but I can now feel them. I feel the impact from the concrete working its way into my lower legs through the knees and into my thighs, pelvis and lower back and of course, stomach. I had the perfect runner’s breakfast: One cup of coffee without milk, one bowl of oat meal with milk and frozen strawberries and a dash of sugar on top, one leaf of bread with Nutella. But still: The contents of my bowel are now telling me that they don’t like to be twisted from side to side.

7-8 km: We now enter a long stretch. It´s stretching for about 3 kms ahead, slightly upwards and the wind has been picking up from nowhere. This is not funny, knowing that everything you can expect for the next 15 or so minutes is just pacing upwards, keeping the rhythm and ignoring the very normal thoughts saying “Why do you do this?. This is stupid. Just stop. Go home. Read a book. Go get a cup of coffee…

8-9 km: Thinking about getting home and relaxing with the paper. Running alone. No girls to look at, but legs and stomach have gotten used to these new terms of activity now. I am slightly bored.

9-10 km: I now leave the upward stretch and enter a forest area, but the wind keeps on pushing from the left. Disturbing, but at least I don’t feel it coming right into my face anymore. There is a control post, and I use 20 seconds to grab a glass of Powerade and a glass of water. I have been running for almost 44 minutes now, and just getting 20 seconds of rest is nice. At 10 kilometres, my watch says 43 minutes and 30 seconds.

10-11 km: This race is not for those who need new horizons. No, the second part of the race is actually the first part all over again. This is both good and bad: You know the path but you also know what to expect. I feel fine: Legs are ok, lungs and stamina are fine, but I notice a small pain in my back, just where my kidneys are. There is a theory, saying that you will get pain from your kidneys while running, as they get more oxygen-enriched blood pumped into them, and as this is new to them, they protest, like all parts of the body being exposed to something new.

11-12 km: Just running. I notice one guy, who got off at an alarmingly high speed at the start, about my age but maybe a little bigger and heavier. He is having severe difficulties, panting and sweating. His face is very red, and he looks to be in pain. I guess he just started out too fast. Running for more than a few kilometres requires that you find your pace, and not running faster than your body can keep up to. If he manages to fulfil the race, he will be in bad hurting for the next 45 to 55 minutes, and if he is in bad shape, this will give him either very sore muscles for the next couple of days or, if his very unlucky, a stroke.

12-13 km: I´m just flying! Now, this is the way you´re supposed to feel while running. I keep my 4 minutes and 30 seconds per kilometre, and it is a gratifying feeling to pass those runners who set off so happily almost an hour ago. I recognize a few of them: The bodybuilder guy, the thin stepmother pushing 60 and the guy being the star of the company runners club. They all thought that if you just give it all you got from the start, you could make it to the end. But they couldn´t.

13-14 km: The sun makes its entrance again. Disturbing, but I try to keep in the shade, and grab another cup of water. I try to keep my legs long and relaxed, and try to keep my shoulders low. A lot of the runners I pass and see are way too tense. Running is a natural thing, this is what our bodies are supposed to do, and its stupid to be tense about something natural. I feel fine, and I look at the sky, the clouds, I feel the wind slowing down and think about what to eat as soon as I reach the finish line.

14-15 km: Wham! It just hits me, as a sudden rush of alcohol dispensing in your blood. My legs suddenly feel tired; the pain that I ignored from my kidneys is back and I´m actually sweating now. My t-shirt, which was cool and dry, as now soaked with sweat and somewhat heavy.

15-16 km: I again experience that long boring slightly upward stretch, with the wind again challenging my whole body, now at an even more sturdier strength. This hurts. I try, I really try to keep my pace, but it is hard to keep your spirits high, when all you see is… 2 kilometres more of running against the wind. It’s hard, it’s brutal.

16-17 km: Now I notice that I do run slower. I try, I do try, but legs, body and mind don’t answer to my prayers. I´m not keeping the 4 minutes and 30 seconds pace per kilometre right now, but clock myself at 5 minutes per kilometre. I don’t like this anymore.

17-18 km: Finally, I reach the woods again, but the last 3 kilometres have robbed me of a lot of energy. My feet are OK, but my left calf is burning, cramping, and my whole left leg says “Stop now. Why do you do this?”. Lungs are OK, I´m not really sweating anymore, but I´m really thirsty. Luckily, there is a waterhole coming up, and I use 30 seconds getting a glass of water and 30 beautiful seconds of rest for my left leg.

18-19 km: So, this is what it has come to. Pain. So stupid, that my body can do it, my lungs and brain and stomach can do it, but my left calf can´t do it. I run on, but this really hurts now. But still, if I just keep on this pace, I will be seeing the finishing line in about 15 minutes. That feels nice!

19-20 km: I get some help. A guy (thanks to you, whoever you are and if you ever read this!) runs up to me and says “Yeah, I know it hurts, I hurt to. But in 10 minutes this is all over with. Why not finish in style? Follow me!” And he just runs off, in a blaze of energy. And I follow. I run again, not actually feeling my feet, my hurting calf or my kidneys anymore.

20-21 km: I spurt at an 4 minutes per kilometre pace up to the sign saying “These are the last 400 metres” and those 400 metres are just so nice to enter. I run between high rises, the harbour, I see the spectators, hear the cheers and suddenly I see the finishing line. As I pass, I get this stupid feeling of being to slow, why didn´t I run faster? But still, this it what it comes down to. If I could have run faster, I would have. But I didn´t. My result gets to be 1 hour, 43 minutes and 33 seconds. And that´s all right by me. I just relax, get a cup of soup and a slice of bread, and feel very very proud. I did it.

The preparations

There are different theories about how to be a good runner. Some say, that to be able to run long distance, you have to run long distances, and others say, that running that long will cause damage and not strengthen but exhausting your muscles.

I believe in both. So my training programme for this event was running for 7-10 kilometres 3 times a week, and during one of these runs using interval training, including parkour-style training like running up stairs, jumping up and down from benches and rocks, that way strengthening the joints and ligaments in my feet and legs. I began this programme roughly 10 weeks before the race. It is probably also a good idea just once to run for lets say 15-17 kilometres, just to get that “I can!” feeling. If you can run for 15 kilometres, you can run for 21.

So if you´re aiming at running the marathon, my simple but useful tips must be doubling my amount of kilometres, and combine it with a few very long trips, but not more often than once a month. And don’t forget to do other activities like weightlifting, boxing, playing football and swimming once in a while.

That will give you a more balanced body mass in the first place, and secondly, women usually don´t find ultra thin long distance runners super attractive. And maybe most important of all: your mind needs distraction and a little play, not only the steady pace of running alone.

5 things I’ve learned from this race

1. Come well prepared and make sure you arrive to the race in time to stretch out, warm up and mentally convincing yourself that this will be a great experience.
2. When starting out, my strategy with starting quite slowly, letting the body getting adjusted at its own pace, worked just fine. I was not really physically tired at the end, but more annoyed from the pain.
3. The 20 to 30 seconds breaks for slowing down and getting water is well spent time, It´s really hard to drink while running and you will either way slow your pace while drinking. So get that short rest and drink properly. Take your time to smile and say thank you to that kind person giving you your drink.
4. At the end of the race, I forgot to focus at the kilometres left behind; I forgot to be happy about what I had achieved. If I had been better at this, I would probably finished better and maybe not that focused at the pain. This is an important learning.
5. I now know that 21 kilometres surely requires some training and preparations to be run properly, but I didn´t really use that much time to the project. If I would invest some real time into running, running the real thing, the marathon, should be within reach 6 months. I am not sure yet, but I do feel a little tempted…

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Health

1. Bones
The human bones are made to accommodate the demands placed upon them. When just sitting all day long, at the office, in the car, in front of the TV, we allow our bones to grow weaker. But if you run regularly, they meet resistance, which will lead to stronger bones.

2. Heart
Getting your heart pumping a little faster for let’s say 30 minutes every day, and especially if you also include interval training is something your doctor, and not to forget you, will thank yourself for later. Training your heart and strengthening your cardiovascular system will lower your pulse while resting and sleeping; therefore also make you more fit to handle stress.

3. Balance
When running outdoors, you have to avoid and deal with curbs, dogs, stones, branches and other miscellaneous objects. These changes in direction and speed will strengthen your balance, so next time you stand in front of the door with 3 shopping bags and need to unlock your door with your key, this everyday manoeuvre will feel easier to handle.

Appearance

4. Posture
If you run the right way, you quite automatically will lower your shoulders, use your arms to help pumping energy into your running pace and tilt your pelvis a little forward. All of this will raise your head and prolong your spine. So instead of looking like some sad, bent slave at the office, you are now a runner with your eyes set at the horizon, always looking for a challenge.

5. Waistline
Running uses a lot of energy, and few other sports or activities are more efficient if you want to drop, let’s just say 10 pounds from your waistline. And especially if you include a few extra exercises while running, like suddenly running up a hill, or jumping over low fences parkour-style, you soon need to get down to your nearest mall for a new pair of trousers.

6. The sun
When running outside, naturally the sun will sometimes stop by and say hello, rewarding you with a healthy color, to match your new slim and fit you.

Psychological

7. Yes, I can!
Ok, I won’t lie to you. It’s not easy at first. You will experience a burning sensation in your chest (it’s your lungs getting surprised), possibly a new sort of pain in your feet and legs (wow, we have to work now!) and you might get a headache, a pain in your back – or easily said, everything in your body might protest against this new lever of activity. But after a few trips, your body will adjust, and what seemed impossible (run 15 miles? Are you nuts?) Will soon be something you can easily manage. The first time you reach the goal you have set, you will be surprised how you feel. Ever heard of “runners high”? Get out there and experience it for yourself.

8. I believe I can fly
There is something about running that just feels right. Something eternal, like being a tough Greek from ancient times, that could run for days, without even getting exhausted. Running means beating the normal pace of the city, and very few things feels better than beating the bus in regards of getting from A to B – just watch those losers sitting stuck in traffic.

9. Endurance
Sometimes it will rain. Your foot might ache. You feel tired, and the wind is blowing in the wrong direction. But you still keep running, and after another dreadful 25 minutes you enter your destination and relax. So, tomorrow morning, when you have to wait a few extra minutes for the elevator, or the meeting drags on for an extra hour, who cares? I mean, remember yesterday evening. That was tough, this is nothing! You kind of take the sexy “who cares” attitude on you.

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