I just had huge realization. It hit me kind of hard – and I must say that I am relieved. It really helped me to take a pretty big burden off my shoulders.

I just realized that the first 10% are always the hardest and both mentally and physically the toughest. After the first 10%, you’re in the groove, and you just go with it. You follow the next natural step all the way to the end.

Am I speaking in code? Let me explain. When I go for a run, the biggest step I have to climb first is by far getting into my shorts and out of the door. When I have done that, running is the natural thing to start doing. And the first 10% of that run is always the hardest.

It’s in those first 10% that the little voice inside my head says to me that it is a silly idea to exercise now – it’s cold, it’s dark and I have better things to do.

If I can fight that little voice for the first 10%, I have beaten it. Sure, he tells me to stop when it hurts and I can’t breathe, and he says I need to slow down when I am going all out in a sprint at the end. But here, my momentum has built for so long that there is no way in hell that I listen to him.

It’s only in those first 10% that he has any power

That little voice has nothing to say after the first 10%.

So what does that really mean? It means that half the battle is deciding that you want to do something, and then taking the first step. The rest is not that hard – it will just come to you. It’s those first 10% that takes creativity, ambition, strength and decisiveness.

It’s not only related to working out and physical activities.

It’s related to everything.

Walking up to that girl you find cute is much harder than actually talking to her and flirting with her when you are with her.

To shut off the TV and start doing your homework is much harder than actually doing your homework.

You get the point.

It’s all an illusion

The way your mind works is often by figuring out the worst possible scenario, and then preparing you for it by showing it to you internally. That’s why you can see a picture of yourself getting slapped in the face by a girl, just for walking over and talking to her before actually doing it.

Or why you see yourself crying in the corner of your room after your girlfriend has broken up with you – before she even has.

These pictures are very seldom showing the truth.

They are showing twisted pictures of reality, just so you won’t by any chance get hurt. It’s all a defence mechanism. If you are safe right now, your body really does not want you to try new things. What could you possibly gain?

Doing the stuff you know well is the safe choice. It’s dull, but easy.

Your body doesn’t really care about things like happiness and joy. All it cares about is safety for you and your offspring. Your genes just want to survive!

But I know that you think differently. You want to do things, explore things, enjoy things. And that my friend, takes guts.

Back to the 10%

You are nervous before the race – but when you’re racing, you’re just racing.

The next time you want to do something, but you are doubting whether or not to do it, try thinking about those first 10%.

What do you need to do to get started? Pack your bags? Make that phone call?

Before starting, it always helps to have a clear idea on what you need to do get from point A to point B – with point A being where you are now, and point B being where you want to be.

If you do that, and you overcome the first 10%, you can already see the finish line.

Images by WayTru, jon- and Jenny P. Thanks!

If you ever feel that you are stuck here in life, be it in a relationship, a job or in a simple chore like doing the dishes, this article is for you.

I will outline a very simple strategy to take action, one that can not fail. Do this one thing and you will never be completely stuck.

One thing at a time

Sometimes we set our own expectations too high; I know I did when I started out “getting better with women”. It’s a couple of years ago now, but I still remember it like it was yesterday.

I would go out and say stuff to myself like “I must approach at least 5 girls tonight”. Today, that wouldn’t be such a big problem, but back then it was a lot. 5 girls! I thought the key to progression was to push myself, and to push hard!

But did it work? Not at all. It only ended up hurting me.

Usually when I pushed myself hard, I would not meet my “goals”. Maybe I only approached 3 girls, maybe only 1 and maybe none at all.

I would get kind of angry at myself for not being “good enough”, and a lot of negative momentum started building.

This is bad. Negative momentum is like a disease, it poisons everything you do!

So even though I think you should all have your own experiences and learn from them, I can at least tell you what I would have done back then if I knew what I know now.

I would not push myself “hard”. Sure, a little pushing is sometimes required to take action, but too much pushing just leads to falling of the cliff instead of jumping it yourself.

Instead of saying to myself, “approach 5 women tonight”, I would say: go talk to a stranger. This is not such a daunting task at all.

And then I would go talk to another stranger. I would most likely have had two pleasant conversations, and this is what positive momentum is all about.

At the end of the night I would have talked to a lot more than just 5 people, and in that sense, by not pushing too hard, I got farer and reached my goals with a smile on my face.

This is also what meeting women should be all about – to have fun! I have said it before and I will say it again: if you can’t have fun while learning this stuff, you will never be really satisfied or happy with it.

But on the other hand, if you enjoy the process and have fun, gold and diamonds will rain upon you… Or something like that :-)

So the key to this is actually to break down the whole process into manageable parts.

If you need to clean your room, it’s much easier to do so if you start by throwing out what needs to be thrown out. Then you can organize. And then you just keep on going – using the positive momentum!

If you need to write an article or a paper on something, start writing anything. Just write some random paragraphs. That’s actually the way I wrote this article.

Do something. Anything!

This principle applies to everything. If you don’t know what to do next, do something, and that means anything.

If you can’t force yourself to get out of the door and meet women, pick up a book, call a friend or do some push-ups. Don’t feel bad about not doing the thing that you feel you must be doing but aren’t – you will do it, but just not at this moment.

You need to be ready for the moment when it comes, though. Sometimes it’s easy to just say that “you’ll do it some other time”; that’s called procrastination, and that is not what I am encouraging here!

No, I encourage you to be a realist. Know your limitations and live by them. There’s no point in feeling bad about something you aren’t doing anything about. In that case, it’s better to do something else.

I know that this sounds a little theoretical, and it is. So let me make it clearer.

Here’s an example to simplify my point:

Ben should really get around to applying for a job he really wants. But something makes him not; he can’t put his words on why.

He mentally beats himself up over it, thinking why he is so stupid – how hard can it be?

Then he reads this article and gets it. His “action level” is too low, and he actually needs to just do anything.

So Ben does 5 push-ups. He drinks a glass of water. He reads a few pages in a book. He takes a walk (one of my personal favourites!) and gets around to reading some of his unread email.

Suddenly, applying for that job is not so bad at all. After a “power hour” of a lot of action, he just does it.

Needless to say, Ben gets the job.

There’s nothing like a story with a happy ending!…

So why don’t you follow in Ben’s footsteps and…

Do what needs to be done!

Following is a list of things you can do to gain positive momentum.

Generally, I would say that watching TV and surfing the internet gives you negative momentum, and on top of that they are huge energy drainers. Even though you handle the remote or steer the mouse, watching TV and surfing are too passive activities to go as real action.

Do this stuff instead:

• Go for a walk. In my experience the best thing to do in almost every situation.
• Read a book. A few pages will suffice, but don’t stop for the sake of it! Reading in general is very stimulating to your brain, and in my opinion we should all read more.
• Listen to music. Really concentrating on a single task is what this is all about. Focus on the music and let it “be one” with you.
• Get up and drink a glass of water. Almost always a good idea.
• Tidy your desk. I’ll bet my old hat that it’s a little clutterly. And if not, I’m sure that there is something else that need a good, old fashioned cleaning.
• Cook from scratch. You know the saying: the more you cook, the better you look.
• Do anything you have been putting off. Just get off your lazy butt.

Sometimes your outer circumstances need to change for your inner circumstances to change, too. That’s the gist of this article.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Do you have any experiences with doing something that leads to doing something else? I am very interested in hearing what you have to say.

It was a pleasure,
–Alex.

PS. Don’t forget to subscribe to the RSS feed! And, uhm, pssssht… it’s free! :-)

Wonderful photos by Eduardo Amorim and Puja.