Note from Alex: This is taken from my ebook The Ex-Girlfrend Solution. It helps to lay the foundation for the rest of my teachings by discussing how getting over an ex before getting back together with her can actually be very beneficial to both you and her.

It is almost impossible for me to count the amount of guys I have spoken to about their ex-girlfriends over the years, but it sure is a lot. If I should do a recap, the theme that has occurred the most is this:

Girl dumps Guy, Guy is confused, Girl is equally confused so she keeps calling him, Guy misinterprets the calls and wants her back, Girl finds someone new and Guy is hurt all over again.

This happens very often, and it is a terrible situation. The situation has many variations, but it usually ends the same way. And the worst part of it all is that the man in this has absolutely no power and no control. The girl is in charge, and the man is left to be her marionette puppet.

Don’t make the same mistakes

The reason that I am telling you this is because I don’t want you to make the same mistake as so many have done before you. If you’re in a break-up right now, I don’t want you to sit around the phone, waiting for her call, focusing your every thought on her for the next few weeks or even months.

Instead, I want you to enjoy your life and tackle this situation as smoothly as you can. I want you to feel hurt if you’re hurt, I want you to be sad if you’re sad, but I also want to help you move forward and become a better man in the end.

You have to put in the work

That process will only become drawn out if you don’t work hard right from the beginning on getting over her. Let me elaborate:

The number one reason that most guys want their ex-girlfriends back is because they are scared of the unknown territory that they are getting into if they are left lonely. Most guys are terrified that they won’t find someone as good as her again, or that they are not good enough to get a new girlfriend.

Not everybody knows this about themselves, but when you dig deep enough, that’s usually the underlying reason.

The only reason for wanting to get back together with your ex that I can truly accept is this: You have to be better for each other when you are together than when you are apart. But to come to that realization takes a lot of soul-searching.

It’s not easy. And the best way to do find out for sure is to actually, even though it may sound counterproductive, get over her first.

If you can eliminate the emotional factor in the decision, you will stand a much better chance to look at it in an objective way.

And on top of that, if you decide in the end that you were better together and you decide to give it another try, you will have grown considerably from the process and maybe even got rid of the behaviour that landed you in this situation in the first place.

A break-up is not neccessarily a bad thing

So, even though it may be a twisted thought-chain, I actually think that you can view your break-up as something beneficial and beautiful. You can see it as a chance for you to figure out what you really want, and a chance for you to grow, both as a man and as a person.

If you are able to get over her, yet still manage to fall in love with her again, your relationship will be stronger and healthier than ever.

The break-up gives you the chance to see that she may not be the woman of your dreams. You get to look through the fog and see her (and yourself, for that matter!) for who she really is.

Note from Alex: If you liked this chapter from my ebook, I am sure that you will also find the other chapters at least as useful. Go check out The Ex-Girlfriend-Solution now!

Image by Celeste

Note from Alex: This is just a short chapter from The Ex-Girlfriend Solution answering a common question that I get: “Should You Tell Your New Girl About Your Ex?”

At some point, you will meet a girl. It’s inevitable. And it’s also inevitable that you and her will talk about your previous lovers and relationships. So, what do you tell her about your ex-girlfriend, who caused you so much pain?

Well, it’s quite simple, really.

You tell her the truth. You tell her about the pain you felt and how you moved on. If you still feel some pain, don’t be afraid to tell her that. But make sure that she understands that you have no intentions of ever trying to get back together with her.

Make sure that your new girl knows that she’s the only one for you now. And if she asks if she could hurt you as much as your ex could, once again, speak the truth.

If you think she can, since you have made yourself completely vulnerable to her, tell her. Tell her that if you broke up, you would feel terrible pain and sadness, but that you also know that at some point, it would stop.

That’s the cycle of life.

When speaking about your ex, be cautious. Women (and men) in general have a tendency to measure themselves to your former lovers to see where they stand.

If you think that your new girl is in some way better than your ex, speak freely. Highlight all the things she does that make you happy. But don’t sound like you only like her because she isn’t like your ex – be sure to always give her compliments and like her for who she is and not for who she’s not.

If there are some things that your ex did better than you new girlfriend, it’s dangerous ground. Instead of bringing your ex into the picture, I would rather accept the new girl’s behavior and let your ex go. You can then take it from there.

If you think that your ex-girlfriend was better in many ways and you can’t love your new girlfriend fully because of that, you’re not ready for a new relationship, and you need to spend more time healing.

Note from Alex: If you liked this chapter from my ebook, I am sure that you will also find the other chapters at least as useful. Check it out here while it’s still at a reduced price: The Ex-Girlfriend Solution.

Image by Meredith Farmer.

Vincent Miller: “Your website helped me out a lot. The initial fact that a bunch of people out there were feeling the same way I did made me feel better immediatly. I’m not saying that this cured the whole situation, but after the initial breakup, that helped out a lot.

There is no formula to where we can plug in numbers and find out how long we will be suffering. The suffering is a part of life and we have to go through it to make us the person that we will one day become. You have to look at that suffering as a way of personal growth. That is why I believe that time is the most important factor in getting over someone.

And what does along with time is the absolute need for no contact with the ex-girlfriend. It’s like ripping off a bandaid; when you tear a little bit at a time the pain continues and it hurts everytime you yank at it, but if you just rip it off and turn the other cheek, it’s much easier to move on.

Another thing that helped me out was my career. We broke up a little over a year ago and I had one year left in college before I graduated (including one internship to do) So when I looked to do an internship I looked to the coast and got an internship on an island working outside all day. This took my mind off of everything. I won’t lie – there were days were I would feel sad, however I gave it time and it would pass in a day or two and i would feel better than before.

I was working eighty hour’s a work weeks at a job that I absolutely loved, therefore my mind was instantly taken off of the bad situation. That helped tremendously. Another thing that helped was meeting new people and making new friends.

When I came back from the island I had one semester of school left and moved into an apartment building where I didn’t know anyone. I instantly made a new group of friends and hung out with them all the time. I have also slept with a handful of girls since then which also helps and they are still friends as well.

I would say that these are the most important things that helped me out with this. You have to give yourself time with no contact, you have to do things that you love to get your mind off the whole thing and you have to get out and make new friends. Don’t desert your old friends, just make new ones so that you have options on a lonely night, and get with girls. Don’t just go and expect yourself to start hooking up with a bunch of girls right away, that wouldn’t be healthy. Instead, give yourself time, and when someone comes around who’s worth a shot, you’ll know and you’ll take it!”

“Now I am completely over my ex girlfriend, I rarely ever think about her anymore! It’s awesome because a year ago I was a mess and sick to my stomach to think that I would live without her. Now my life is 10X better; i actually want to be single. I have like two or three girls right now constantly texting me that I could start a relationship with right now but I choose not to. i love everything about being single and this is where I am right now. My standards on women have sky-rocketed, and unless she is something very special, I will not even give her a second look. We might be friends but nothing special. I lowered my standards tremendously for the ex. My life is amazing and I wouldnt change it for a thing, thanks Alex!”

What to take away from this

Vincent says it himself pretty clearly: What helped him the most was to cut off contact with his ex along with experiencing new stuff (both career-wise and girl-wise)

He also touches on an important point right at the end, which is that you shouldn’t jump on the first girl you meet. You have to give yourself time – both to get over your ex, but also to find a girl who you perhaps care for for more than just a one-night stand.

If you’re hurt and think that you won’t become happy again, you’re wrong. I have hundreds of these stories, and I can tell you for sure that you are not alone. It hurts, yes, but you will get over it. If you want to speed up the process and learn all the dirty little tricks, check out my Ex-Girlfriend Solution by clicking here.

Note from Alex: Today Katie will share a story on a break-up and a little lesson on how not to break-up….

There is a well-known episode of “Sex and the City” where the current boyfriend of Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) gets dumped by her boyfriend via a Post-It note. One minute he’s there in her bed and everything is seemingly fine, and the next morning he is gone replaced with the lone post-it note offering some lame excuse about not being able to do this anymore. The reason this particular episode sends shivers of fear down the backs of women everywhere is that it rings true. How many of us have been down that road before?

Nobody likes confrontation

Nobody likes confrontation.  And it was always very amusing to me when my ex-boyfriend used to tell me he hated confrontation.  I think there’s a difference between confrontation and communication.  I’m all for communication and when things aren’t running smoothly in a relationship, obviously communication is essential.  My ex didn’t break up with me via a post-it note, but he did do something which in my opinion was just as cowardly.  My break-up came in an email message.

It wouldn’t have been such a harsh blow if I had realized he was unhappy or there were problems.  Certainly we had issues in the past as every couple inevitably does, but we were always able to work things out by talking and communicating with one another face-to-face.  When everything is going seemingly well, you never expect to receive one of those “Dear Jane” emails.  I thought we were doing okay, back on track, working together for the common good and all that jazz.  I am not a mind reader and I had no idea he wanted out. Until I received that dreaded email…

The Email

“Dear Katie, I am ending our relationship.  I’m no longer happy with the way things are going.  We had some good times together but it’s time to move on now.  I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

And that was that.  I was blind-sided.  And I had no choice in the matter.  He had decided things between us were over and it was done.  Needless to say I wracked my brain trying to figure out where it had gone wrong.  We had seen each other the day before and there was no trace of the impending storm approaching.  He had been jovial, affectionate and I had no idea he was about to drop this bomb.  In an email!

Didn’t see it coming!

It’s a horrible feeling when you have no control over a situation, especially when you never saw it coming. After my initial shock wore off, I phoned him, but he meticulously avoided all my calls and proved once again that he was a coward.  After almost two years together, I expected a little more grace in the final days of our relationship.  But obviously he wanted to avoid the drama, the confrontation, and of course the inevitable show of emotion and tears.  He couldn’t handle it.  So he slunk away like a thief in the night by removing himself from any responsibility to end things like a gentleman.

Conclusion

Breaking up is hard enough all on its own.  And no one wants to be the bad guy by telling their partner it’s over.  But taking the easy way out by texting or emailing is simply not the right thing to do, especially if the two of you have been together for awhile.  If you want out of your relationship, step up to the plate, take responsibility and tell your partner to their face.  You can do it as gently as possible; it’s going to hurt no matter what.  But at the end of the day, your ex will have more respect for you if you end things civilly and not with some tossed-off message sent through cyber space.

Katie Michaels is a veteran of dating online, and her advice is sought after by friends and strangers alike. You can read more of her advice at her blog, Dating Online!

Thanks to the image by xlordashx.

Hey guys, today I am going to bring an email from a woman’s perspective. She asked me how she should react to her old flame contacting her again, and I gave her some easy to follow and concrete advice.

This is the email from Rosalia:

“Hi Alex, just got to the office today and there was an email from out-of-the-blue from my Ex boyfriend who’d dumped me for another woman almost 10 years ago. Didn’t expect to be this shook by this, since I’ve subsequently moved on and am (happily) in a committed, long-term relationship.

Any insight and advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.”

This is my reply:

“Well, the way I see it, you have two choices: you either respond, or you don’t. Either way, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still with Francois, and Richard won’t be prominent in your life. If you think it would be fun to hear how Richard is doing, by all means, do so. If it bears too much pain, don’t.

At least that’s the way I see it. What do you think?”

The second email from Rosalia:

“Thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate it. That is an excellent, wise answer; cuts right to the point of the matter.

Best wishes,
Katerina”

Conclusion

So yeah, my answer summed it up pretty well. When you boil it all down, you usually only have two options: A or B. Depending on which one you choose, you may have to make several choices after the initial choice, but it always starts with just one. Getting that first one right is crucial to taking the best decision that you can.

In this case, both A and B would lead to almost the same outcome. As I said: Rosalia would still be with Francois, and Richard didn’t have anything to do with that.

When you ask the right questions, you get the right answers. And that’s why my answer helped Rosalia out of her situation – we put it into the right perspective. Often the best questions isn’t “how?”, it’s “why?”. When you can answer that, usually the rest is easy.

If you ever have a question or something you need help with (like getting over an ex-girlfriend), you can contact me through the contact form.

Image by Abdulmajeed.

Trust me, I know the feeling. Several years ago, I went deep down into a hole after my girl at the time, Rebecca, and I broke up on a mutual agreement.

We both wanted it, but when I look back, the biggest reason that I did so was to not look weak and needy in her eyes when we discussed it – which in turn was exactly what I did when I weeks later sent her texts saying I wanted her back. That didn’t work out too well, since first of all, she had already begun dating another guy.

I can’t tell you how many times I have kicked myself over this episode. If I had simply manned up at the time and told her that we should work out our quirks instead of breaking up…

Learn from your experiences
Well, you learn from your experiences, right? I certainly did. Ever since that episode, I have started to stand up for things I don’t want to lose in a whole new manner.

I guess that it is wired into our bodies in some way – there’s no way I am going to feel the same regret and emptiness as I did after Rebecca and I broke up again. I just can’t let it happen.

And I won’t let it happen to you, either.

If you and your girl have talked about breaking up, my best and most important advice is to really listen to your heart for what you want. With Rebecca, I didn’t listen to anything but my ego, which taught me a humiliating and painful lesson.

Listen to your heart

Listening to one’s heart is not easy, and it takes a lot of practice to become good at it. But in the end, it pays to familiarize yourself with your most hidden thoughts and feelings.

Don’t make the same mistake I did by acting on some thoughts that I thought was me, but actually wasn’t.

I see the ego as a part of every human being as natural a part of you as everything else. It sits inside you, somewhere, and lets you know what it thinks about everything, all day long. It is the ego that judges both you and others, and it is the ego that makes you do ”selfish” things.

Learning to listen to the ego without acting on its advice is the first step to becoming familiar with your heart. Your heart is the almost exact opposite of your ego: it is filled with nothing but love and pure intentions.

I think that Walt Disney illustrated it pretty damn well with the red devil on one shoulder, and the white angel on the other. The two discuss matters all day long, and it is in part which of them you listen to the most that decides your way through life.

Identify your thoughts

Every time you get a thought in your head that encourages you to act in some way, try to identify where it comes from. The key here is awareness.

What does the thought want you to do? What will happen if you do it? Why would the thought want you to do that?

Think about these things when a thought pops up, and try to identify the answers. There is no right or wrong here.

Let us take an example:

You’re sitting with an ice cream, let’s just say that it is your absolute favourite ice cream, and a good friend of yours asks if he or she can taste it.

A classic response stemming from the ego would be repulsion or an aggressive response. If you tell your friend no, what you accomplish is merely ”more for yourself”, at least in the short run.

The ego always wants more, more of everything. It places your own needs in front of the needs of others.

The thought of giving your friend a taste of your delicious ice cream is on the other hand a thought from your heart. It serves to magnify love, and to create harmony in your immediate surroundings.

Of course you can give him or her a taste, simply to get something in return or to make that person ”owe” you something. If that’s the case, then it’s by no means from the heart. Only the purest intentions come from the heart.

Learning to identify your thoughts like this can help you not only to overcome your ego, but also to act more lovingly and more giving.

The pragmatic way to look at it

Living from your heart can also be viewed in a more pragmatic sense. By giving your all to the people around you, they will see you as a loving person, and in return you will gain more love.

This is the ego’s way of seeing it, but whenever your actions resonate with your heart, you have my accept for doing it anyway.

Giving, especially in the beginning, can be very difficult, and that’s the reason why I ”allow” this kind of behaviour. If you give money to charity, not to help the cause you’re donating to, but to reap personal benefits in one way or the other, that is still ”better” than to restrain from donating or to not give anything at all.

The voice from your heart will become stronger every time you act on it – so keep strengthening it! At some point, acting from your heart will be natural for you, and in this regard, the ego will be ”beaten”.

Breaking up on a mutual agreement

To bring it back to my original point: whether or not to break up with your girlfriend on mutual terms or to fight for the relationship can be broken down into a simple question: are you taking a decision from the ego, or from the heart?

Breaking up, from the ego:

• If you’re doing it from the ego, you may be doing it to, like I did, to not look weak or stupid in her eyes.
• It could also be to avoid facing the potential stress of repairing your relationship.
• It would be from the ego if you want to break up as some kind of revenge.
• Or because you are too lazy to have a girlfriend, and would rather like to sit on the couch all day long sipping bad beer and being miserable.

Breaking up, from the heart:

• A good example of breaking up from the heart would be to let her go so someone else can love her better than you could.
• It could also be if your relationship is too far from the principles of love and respect to ever bring it back into balance.
• It would be from the heart if you hurt each other more than you are able to give.
• It could also be if she has hurt you in some way where you know that you cannot forgive her sufficiently to give her the love she deserves.
• Or if you have nothing left to give, and ending the relationship is the most loving thing to do, since you have already mentally moved on.

Conclusion

The list concludes this post. Deciding to break up, together, is often the best and most honest way to break up. But if what is being said doesn’t come from the heart, there’s a big chance that either you or your partner will end up getting more hurt than necessary. Take the decision from the heart, and from there, you will know what to do.

And by the way, I am aware of the fact that the “How to get over your ex-girlfriend” is down. It is because it has too many comments, and therefore takes too long for the server to load. I am working on a fix, but perhaps you have to be a little bit patient, since I am not near a stable internet connection these days… I can’t even link to Google’s cached version, since they have taken it down due to the downtime. Sorry guys, I work as hard as I can on the problem!
Alex

Unless you are with her now, every man has at one point in his life lost his first love. For many men, it is a devastating experience that can be hard to overcome. But read on. This guide will show you exactly how to get over losing your first real love.

It happens to everybody. In fact, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had their heart crushed at some point in life. It is more than normal. What isn’t as consistent over the whole line, though, is how the person with the broken heart tackles the situation.

Some spend three weeks sobbing, only to return to normal after a few crazy nights out. Some seem to ignore it – only for it to come back later and sting them even harder. Some act out insanely, getting upset about the smallest things and calling the lost love at every hour of the night. And then some never seem to get over it.

It’s always the same story

It’s often the same story. Girl leaves guy. Guy can’t understand it – what did he do wrong? Closure is next to none. But he doesn’t seem to want to move on… Since she was the best he ever had. Sound familiar?

So instead he does all kinds of stupid sh*t to get her back… When really, he could have had fun with hundreds of girls over the same period.

Get over her before chasing her

In my philosophy, what is given to you is what you deserve. And that goes both ways. That’s why I don’t usually recommend chasing after a girl if she has just broken up with you. Her reason was probably pretty good, and you can use energy more efficiently than chasing after someone who doesn’t want you.

Now, of course there are exceptions. Millions of them. But usually, if you get over a girl, magically, your chance of getting her back gets better.

After getting over someone, you have the chance to take a look at them in a new light and take your decision to be with the person more intelligently. You are not blinded by feelings, like you are if you are heartbroken. And when you have less to lose (read: you don’t care as much), you will seem more sexy and confident in her eyes.

Who would want a crying loser back? Not me. I’d rather go back to someone who has grown in the process, so the relationship can continue developing in a positive direction. Wouldn’t you?

The best way to grow is to get over her

The best way to grow is to get over your lost love, so you can focus on the more important things in your life than being sad: friendship, hobbies, sports, education etc. Amazingly, focusing on these things help with getting over her as you are focusing on something else… and the circle continues, until you’ve fully healed.

How can you know that she’s the best out there?

When a client asks me how to get over his first love, one of my first questions back is usually: ”how can you know that she’s the best out there?”

Often, he can’t. But he won’t admit it. His brain is wired to try to stay with what is familiar, since new = dangerous. But new is also exciting, refreshing and fun.

And I know that she was wonderful. Caring, loving, smart… I get the drift. But I can tell you this much: she is not the only one. Far from it. I get a lot of email every single day from guys who have trouble getting over their ex-girlfriends. And they’re all perfect. How many (single) perfect girls does that give us? A helluva lot! So don’t sweat it – there is definitely not a shortage of girls in the world.

Life is far from over

Your life is far from over. Think about all the things you have time to do now that you didn’t have before. And here is a little secret: most of your friends are probably glad that you and her are through… Now you can have fun with them and get hammered just like you used to, without thinking about when you should be home and what ”she would think”.

Losing your first love happens to everybody. Everybody had a girlfriend once that they do not have now. That’s the circle, folks. But you are getting stronger, tougher and cooler, and the next girl will be better, I promise.

It would be really interesting to hear some of your positive stories about how losing your first love actually helped you in some way or the other.

You go first – I’ll share mine in the comments as well.

Also, I highly encourage you to check out my book called “The Ex-Girlfriend Solution”. It includes everything you ever wanted to know about getting over your ex and moving on with your life. It takes you right from the break-up to your new relationship, and it answers all the questions I get all the time, like “what to do if she wants to be friends”, “how to avoid being distracted by thoughts about her”, “how to fall asleep when I miss her” etc… Read more about it here!

Image by Bethan.

I guess that most of us have tried to dream about an ex-girlfriend once, twice or even several times in our lives. I just dreamt about one of mine this night.

It was a beautiful dream. It was a summer day, and we were enjoying an ice cream in the park. We were smiling and laughing, and we ended up kissing in the grass. This carries striking resemblance with an experience I had with just this girl once – only it was on the beach and not the park, that’s the only difference.

I have been over this girl for months, but when a dream like that pops up, you have to ask yourself: what does it mean?

What does it mean?

If you had asked me four years ago, I would probably have answered that I might still like this girl. A lot of crazy thoughts would start showing up – thoughts about the break-up, if it was the right thing to do, if I were as good a man with her as I could have been, if we really were meant to be together, etc.

A single dream can spur a lot of thoughts, and one thing leads to another. Most of all, it can lead to a lot of insecurity – which is something we don’t want too much of!

But a lot have changed in the last four years, and today, my thoughts about the dream have been radically different than what I might have thought back then.

First of all, I woke up smiling. Re-living beautiful memories is one of life’s greatest joys, and I appreciate the mere fact that I even dream. I guess we all do, but I think it’s amazing when I can actually remember parts of my dream(s).

Four years ago, when my knowledge was not the same as it is now, I would probably have woken up a little nervous with a lot of questions on my mind. I would probably wander around all day pondering them from time to time, stressing me out unconsciously.

What to do

If you’re like I was about four years ago – having insecure thoughts about stuff like dreaming about an ex-girlfriend, read on.

I must admit that when I first woke up, I did imagine being with this girl again. I thought about some more good memories from when we were together. But after daydreaming for a few minutes, I catched myself doing this, and with a few good inhalations of nice, cool air, it was gone.

I know that me and this girl are over. We’re history. We are history that I am proud of – because I know that at the time, I made nothing but right decisions.

I cherish the time that we were happy, but I have moved on.

My theory on dreams

I have been reading a lot about dreams and what they really mean. There is not a single answer, but a lot of theories point to dreams being a way for us humans to cope with all the thoughts we are having every single day.

In short, dreams are a way for us to categorize experiences, and letting go of things that are, or are not, useful to us anymore. They help us sort out the confusion our minds go through on a day to day basis.

Therefore, dreaming a dream like the one I dreamt tonight probably just means that I am letting some thoughts about this girl fly away into the universe.

I think it’s a pleasant thought that dreams are a way for us to let go of things. It’s the same thing if you are dreaming about your granny who passed away a few years ago.

Even though the conscious you may have gotten over things, the unconscious you may not. Your dream world is a deep dive into the unconscious. If you ask me, this is very exciting stuff.

What to take away from all of this

My conclusion is pretty simple: dreams in their own form mean nothing more than what you want them to mean. They are basically your unconscious mind showing its face at the surface of your conscious mind.

If you dream about something that might trouble you a bit – like an ex lover, it probably just means that you are closer to letting go of her for good.

It doesn’t mean that you should hook up with her again. It doesn’t mean that you made the wrong decision. It doesn’t mean anything.

It’s just a dream. Nothing more! Learn to enjoy it.

Images by Eric Nelsøn, Onkel Wart and Vigil Photography.

Hey guys! This is two real stories about how two real guys got over their ex girlfriends. I just wanted to post this to show you that it is possible, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There always is.

Let’s start out with Shahi:

“I would say that the two biggest things certainly were time and seizing opportunities. Time helped the pain go away each day but certainly meeting someone new and realizing how awesome someone else can be made all the difference. I called it the “S” factor in the “ex-girlfriend” messageboard that I contributed to several times, where you really see and get to know someone else and realize that there is hope out there.

The girl I am with now is so into me and I find that it has been so much easier to talk to her than to my ex. I know at first that’s a hard thing to say when you’re missing her, but when you’re with someone else, that’s when you’ll realize it. She has shown me so much love and sweetness (for lack of better terms) and I think to myself, “why was I moping when there are girls like the this out there who are more for me and show so much more interest?”

How Shahi got over his ex girlfriend

Time and seizing opportunities. Two powerful factors when it comes to getting over a lost love.

Reading a post like this can really help you getting your hopes up for the future (if you have a hard time getting over her) by showing you that it is possible.

It really is! You two are going to get over her, and that is 100% guaranteed. We all do. Realize this.

Next up is Sergio.

You might know Sergio from the comment thread on the “how to get over your ex girlfriend post“. Here’s what he had to say…

Sergio’s story:

“How crazy is this. I haven’t been on this site since…I don’t remember. My original post was back in March of 2008. I have been where most you guys are now. I am living proof that you can/will move on with your life. I am dating now and I’m even friends with my ex. I learned to forgive her and I’m a better person for that.

To truly move on you must accept that it’s over. That’s the very first step. Don’t get me wrong, you will still hurt and feel down but you will be on your way. No contact is a must. At least in the beginning. Stay busy. With time, you find yourself thinking less of her until you’re completely over her.

This is also important; you need to look at the big picture. We only live once. Are you going to live the one life that you are given depressed and sad over ONE person?? You can’t let her dictate your happiness.

How Sergio got over his ex girlfriend

Sergio used the same approach as hundreds of other men have used before – the Just Keep The Change approach:

Accept, no contact, stay busy.

Basically, you just let yourself feel hurt if that’s what you feel you are. Don’t resist it or ignore it, simply let it be. No contact has been discussed several times on this blog already, and I know from lots of guys and personal experience that it works. No contact!

Staying busy is what I would almost call a “perk” of getting over your ex girlfriend. Now you finally have the time to do something you’ve always wanted, like learning a new language, hanging more out with your friends, starting that online business, whatever!

If you have a success story like Shahi or Sergio, feel free to post it in the comments or let me know directly. I know that a lot of hurting guys out there could benefit from it.

And while you’re at it, check out the new forum; the JKTC Café. Great people, great discussions. Join us!

Stay strong.

Beautiful images by ucumari and dsevilla.

So what would you like to see?

I’m thinking personal stories (with comments, maybe?), interviews, tips, tricks, techniques, mindsets, concrete action-plans, and all that’s in between.

But I would like to hear what you think. Give me what you got; what would you like to read? Or what would be redundant?

Of course, if I use your suggestion, I’ll send the book to you for no cost whatsoever once it’s published.

How’s that for taking two minutes of your time?

So just write a comment below, stating what you would like to see in the ebook on ‘getting over your ex girlfriend’. I would really appreciate it.

Thanks a lot!
Alex