Comments on: A Great Example About Acceptance and Willingness When it Comes to Pain – “Let Aunt Ida In”

By: Alex Bogat

Alex Bogat — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 08:04:53 +0000

Wow, the Aunt Ida example really opened my eyes. We need our pain, its part of us and we just need to accept it.

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 10 May 2009 08:48:26 +0000

William,

you’re right, it makes you look very human :-)

It’s not necessarily rooted in “confidence” to show your human side, it’s more a trait of compassion. But it’s all good.

If it’s attractive or not mostly depends on where you are coming from when you do it. If it’s from a needy place, it’s most likely not going to be attractive. On the other hand though, if you come from a place of abundance, it will most likely be “attractive”.

That means, if you’re being “human” just to be attractive as well, you’re most likely going to fail in both departments :-)

Take care!

By: William

William — Sat, 09 May 2009 02:14:39 +0000

Heyyy Alex..

This is quite a profound post!! I love it!! I was one of those people some time ago, hiding everything – and then you realise, if you’re comfortbale with your “Aunt Ida” – most people won’t even pay much attention to the “Aunt Ida” if she hit them on the head.

Secondly it makes you look human. Alot of my female friends always say “that guys like too sweet/good to be true”. I can see where they’re comming from.

Anyway, I suppose its a sign of confidence not being afraid showing your human side?!

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 03 May 2009 08:42:36 +0000

Angelo, exactly!

And thank you steve :-)

By: S Angelo

S Angelo — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:08:06 +0000

Hey Alex, cool post…. I like the example with aunt ida! I too think the best way to treat pain is like that neighbour you are not too fond of: you say hi and smile, keep your calm etc. You don’t ignore ‘it’. Thanks

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:58:34 +0000

Great post Alex….I’ve been “training” in ACT for over a year now and it truly is powerful stuff. Thanks much and keep up the great articles.

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:01:01 +0000

Sebastyne, it’s a good thing that you figured that out. Trying to block thoughts really do take a lot of unnecessary energy!

I also like your continuation of the example, the possibilites related to our own Aunt Ida are endless.

Take care! :-)

By: Sebastyne

Sebastyne — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 13:26:37 +0000

I figured this one out maybe a year ago, with something completely unrelated to any relationships, but with other bad things I didn’t want to think about. It took me a lot more energy to keep the thoughts out than to allow them to come in and pass. In fact, they passed quicker than what it took to fight them out of the door – I was already thinking about them behind the door, but once in, the thoughts dissolved into the noise inside, no harm done. Sure it would be nicer if they didn’t arrive but on occasion and even if you manage to persuade them to go away, they seem to keep coming back anyway until you let them in and deal with them.

By: Alex

Alex — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:17:53 +0000

Hey Brent, I like your almost religious point of view. Nice addition to the post!

Keep it up :-)

By: Brent G

Brent G — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:46:16 +0000

Great Post Alex!!!
This can help lots of men who read your blogs deal with the ex-girlfriend move-on phase and also for many situations that they need to accept the evil in it.
This can help alot with Being Shy to Being Confident about anything.
For me, trying to talk to a girl who is beautiful and seems way out of your boundaries is hard! And all these horrible outcomes just fill your head and they resist you from talking to her.
All you have to do IS ACCEPT
Accept all those possibilites and know they can happen. Live with the consquence that you might not have a quick amazing relationship after you talk to her. Once this happens, the shyness goes away, because you are prepared for what happens. After you do this, you are probably going to be more better at talking to her then trying to not be shy then talking.
Acceptance is passing the thresholds of places we dont want to cross, but once we do, the otherside of that wall isnt chaos, but paradise.