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5 Tips to Help You Stop Thinking About Your Ex-Girlfriend

How to stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend How to stop thinking about your ex girlfriend

We’ve all been there: standing in line at a supermarket or just about to return a ball in a tennis match …when suddenly she pops up out of no where.

You have no idea where she came from, but she won’t leave.

Thoughts about your ex girl can find their way to your brain at the most unwanted of moments, and this post is dedicated to giving you a few tips on overcoming those nasty thoughts (all while getting over her at the same time…)

You have to start out by…

  1. Recognizing it
    The first thing you have to do sounds simple, but it is no less the most important step. Whenever you think about your ex-girlfriend, you have to recognize internally that you are doing just that – and you have to accept that you have absolutely no control over your own thoughts. What you to have control over, though, is your reaction to them, and what you choose to do afterwards.

    For more info on my thoughts on thoughts, especially related to break-ups, read the post: “How To Respond and Act When Your Ex Suddenly Contacts You Again”

  2. Help your subconsciousness
    An old “trick” in behavior psychology is that of putting a rubber band on your wrist and then snapping the band whenever the undesirable thought comes up. This helps the body directly associate the thought with pain, and that in turn will help your subconsciousness categorize it as something unwanted to bring up.

    For an extra powerful effect, tie this technique in with the next one…

  3. Replace the thought with something positive
    Whenever you encounter a thought about your ex-girlfriend that makes you sad, replace it with a positive thought instead.

    So when you think “Awww man, she was cute when she did that, and now I miss her”, or “She really hurt me, that b*tch!”, replace that with something that makes you smile (preferably after taking a deep breath, but more on that in a sec)

    A good example of a positive thought could be how much progress you are seeing in your body composition right now (if you’re working out and losing fat/gaining muscle), how good you’re doing at your job, how much you love your family or even just thinking about a funny picture or my personal favorite: thinking about all the beautiful women in the world. I don’t know about you, but that can always bring an instant smirk on my face.

  4. Take a deep breath
    When that thought about your ex girl pops up, take a second to stop up and do a really deep breath. All the way in through the nose, and all the way out again. If you’re concentrated, you can almost feel the cleansing effect immediately.

    And even better: you’ll be brought directly back to the present moment while clearing your head at the same time.

  5. Accept the reality
    If your feelings related to thinking about your ex are loaded with negative emotion, you have to accept that you may very well not be over her yet. This is not something bad, though; it simply means that you still have some work to do.

If you want a collection of my very best blog posts on the subject of getting over your ex, along with more than 50 new ones, answering specific questions you may have, like: “How to avoid being distracted by her – A meditation exercise to help quiet your thoughts”, “What to do when lying in bed and thinking about her – A simple drill to use if you have a hard time falling asleep”, “What to do if you have common friends – Should you let her win them?” and “When will you be ready to meet someone new?”.

If you would like the answers to these questions, and many more, The Ex-Girlfriend Solution might be something for you. On the right side on this page, you can find links to sample chapters from the book.

But now, let me know if you have any tips or tricks yourself that you put to use whenever you think about your ex-girlfriend? If you do, I’m sure that our community would be very grateful if you would be so kind as to share it in the comments!

8 thoughts on “5 Tips to Help You Stop Thinking About Your Ex-Girlfriend

  1. Philip Rott

    I’ve been having some bad thoughts about her lately, so this was timed perfectly. I think that the hardest part is accepting ‘the reality’ and actually acknowledging that thinking about her may be detrimental to my success, even if it makes me sad to just think about not thinking about her

    Reply
    1. Alex

      True Philip, very true. Acknowledging the situation and what it does to you is definitely the most difficult step. Once that’s handled, you at least know what to do and why. And becoming sad just by thinking about not to think about her is very normal, you just have to keep your goal in mind and stay strong!

      Reply
  2. Michael Jürgensen

    what helped me the most was when i truly realised that my thoughts arent a part of myself. good tips alex!

    Reply
  3. Julian

    Whenever I think about my ex, I force myself to smile. Not always externally, but always internally. It may sound silly, but it has actually helped me quite a bit – now I get a much warmer feeling in my stomach than I used to (instead of that horrible discomfort that I usually got in my gut…)

    Reply
    1. Adam

      thats a great idea man… thanks, ill try it bc i also get that “horrible discomfort” when i think about her..

      Reply
  4. Patrick

    I think we hold on to our ex’s bedside that’s the last thumb we can have of them. Once we stop being sad without them, or songs stop reminding us of her, then that’s it, And it scares us.

    Reply