5-6 times? Wow :-) That IS pretty clear. But at least now you know.

Better luck next time!
And thanks for sharing.

There was this chick. I texted her like 5 or 6 times. … yes i know, i shouln´t cause she never replied
In the end she wasn´t into me that´s very clear. But now i know that thanks to you and LOGIC that it works that way.

Take care.

Yeah, it is. But I’d actually rather be a social creep than just a normal, boring guy. But maybe that’s just me :-)

Take care!

Great post dude! I tried some of this last night, at a party in Brooklyn USA. It was cool, and it was kinda like you said. But getting the creepiness factor out of it is always a challenge. Keep up the great work man!

-M

It’s amazing how good these comments have becomen! Seriously, I really enjoy reading them. So keep them coming guys :-)

You touch on all the important points, and even some. I couldn’t agree more.

“It’s always interesting to meet new people and see what they are about, and what’s the harm in geting up off your ass and engaging a converstation with them, especially if when you don’t know to many people at the occasion.”

That’s pure gold. And the rest also is, for that matter.

Thanks a ton for stopping by,

Love,
Alex

There is nothing worse than sitting in the corner of a party like an isolated wall flower. When one goes to a party what are they there for? To have fun and meet people, or sit there and feel sorry for themself? Obviously the latter.

I can recall a few times where I was slow getting started but eventually opened up, and upon opening up I always end up meeting some really cool people. You can’t judge a book by its cover, so you never know what someone is going to be about until talking to them.

It’s always interesting to meet new people and see what they are about, and what’s the harm in geting up off your ass and engaging a converstation with them, especially if when you don’t know to many people at the occasion.

I surely wouldn’t want to be just sitting around waiting for someone, that almost always never works. Usually though you can find some people doing just that and you can turn things around and approach them, cause chances are they are waiting for someone to talk to them.

No need to feel put off or intimidated cause more than likely they are dying for someone to approach them and don’t have it in them to get up and be the “life of the party” due to their own insecurities.

While as you said most of this is common sense, common sense tends to get neglected at times and a reminder like this is always well served.

Another good post Alex, keep ‘em coming mate!

Yeah, ‘warming up’ before a party can really help to get in the social mood…

Saying hi to every girl might be a little extreme, but I like your approach.

Having the choice to be social is such a big difference compared to not have the choice. Suddenly you’re in control!

Thanks for your comment, as always :-)

This is a good article. Guys need to learn how to be social. Once you get a handle on being social where you no longer fear talking with people you can drop being the life of the party. I tried out being the life of the party and it was fun but it wasn’t really me.

I’m glad I went through that phase because I learned so much but I’m happier that I let it go. I feel more congruent when I go out and now have the choice of whether or not I want to be social. If I’m not in the mood for it I won’t be very social or if I am I will be. But I have the choice on what I want to do.

Women have picked up on me being more congruent and have responded a lot better. I’m being more honest and upfront about who I am.

And you’re right, you never know what a conversation can lead to…

Thanks for stopping by and ‘spurring some conversation’, take care in Costa Rica!

I have been getting lucky lately. In September I moved to Costa Rica to teach English (you get major party points for this) and a friend got me to join this group called couchsurfing.

Now, this isn’t a plug, but my social life has exploded thanks to this group. I used to always just hang with my small group when at parties back home, mostly cause I was comfortable that way.

However, most everyone in this group is like me, expats living abroad (or some travelers out for fun), and EVERYONE is interesting. So at first I found myself more and more being approached while doing my own thing, people were coming up, curious as to who the new guy was.

After a few parties, I am seeing myself walk into the party and I’m greeted by like ten people. I no longer have the option of hanging with a small corner with my small crew. So more and more, between this and teaching, my communication skills are going through a growth spurt like Barry Bonds biceps once did.

While I am somewhat being pulled out of my (former) comfort zone, I do not feel forced in it… and going to parties has become a LOT more fun. Sometimes it takes a little help, but you should really set the beer down and go talk to the people, you never know how things will go (you can always drink quietly with your thoughts afterward at home).

Hope this spurs some further discussion

Matt in Costa Rica
Pura Vida!!