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3 Surefire Ways To Be The Life of The Party

How to become the life of the party How to become the life of the party

If you are like me, you have been to too many good parties that just wasn’t fun – they may have been for everybody else, but you were kind of miserable.

Not because you had some odd food and had a stomach pain or anything of that sorts, it was more like you were feeling misplaced, ignored and alone.

This might be a too dramatic picture to paint, but you know, ‘exaggeration gains learning’.

So what is there to do about it? Because I think that we can agree that we all want to have fun when we go to a party; otherwise, what’s the point?

Here are 3 surefire ways to have a better, more enjoyable party:

Don’t wait to be engaged

Sitting around like a sweet little girl just waiting for somebody to engage you is a risky chance to take. I guess that this is a no-brainer, but it is what this article is basically about.

Don’t wait or take the chance, engage someone yourself instead.

It is so much more fun to talk to people at a party than to sit alone. And it will only get worse, since you will be most likely to just keep sitting alone if you are already doing it. It is a bad spiral, that can only be broken by you taking action.

The only time that time will help you if you’re alone and miserable is when, and only if, someone sees that and feels sorry for you. There is a chance that the man, or lady, will go and engage you just because you look so miserable.

But wouldn’t you rather be engaged because you liked like so much fun? I know I would.

So don’t sit around and wait.

Get up and talk to people!

This is alpha-omega. It’s easy if you know a lot of people, but that might not always be the case.

It usually for the best though, since meeting and getting to know new people can lead to amazing experiences. Getting used to talking to strangers will also radically push your comfort levels.

So how do you do it? If it feels very uncomfortable or strange for your to talk to strangers, I suggest that you start doing it on a daily basis.

Not in the pick up artist sense that you should stop every cute girl you see on the streets, I don’t necessarily think that that is a good idea.

I would rather have that you engaged the people you meet on a day to day basis.

The girl at the coffee shop? Smile at her. That’s a start. Tell her to have a great day. Even better!

After a while, you can even ask her small, trivial stuff like how the day has been, if it has been rough, when she’s getting off etc. Soon you will find yourself in a small conversation.

Generally start to look people more in the eyes and smile. A smile can go a long way.

It’s time that you stop excluding yourself from the world!

This planet can be a wonderful place if you just let it. Open up – meet the world with a smile and you have come a long way.

Also work on your breath. Here is a whole article on it: Start Breathing When It Matters The Most and Get More.

bored girls

Now back to the party:

A question that always works at a party is this:

“From where do you know the host”?

Of course you don’t just walk up to somebody and say that. Or actually you do, but you start by saying hi. You look him, or her, in the eyes, smile, and then ask.

If it’s a group, a surefire question to ask is also this:

“From where do you know eachother?”

More than often, you get some interesting stories. Ask some questions based on those, and be really interested! It’s super important to listen to what people have to say.

One of the things these two questions do is that they get a momentum going.

People will notice you talking to people, and will suddenly also want to talk to you. “Who is this guy, talking to everyone?”

Be a cool guy

Don’t be creepy at all, just like everyone else you are there to have fun.

So just be friendly, being nice can go a long way. And be very polite.

Cool doesn’t mean that you brag about yourself or the car you own. It doesn’t mean that you only talk to the hot girls.

It means that you talk to everybody. It means that you listen, and that you engange. It can very well mean that you draw other people into your conversations.

These three habits sound so simple, it’s almost stupid. But sometimes you might need a reminder, especially here right before the weekend.

If you are not waiting for people to engange you, but instead are getting up and talking to them, while at the same time being a cool guy, it can’t go wrong.

This works best at smaller parties though, where you at least know one, or two or three people.

Engaging people in bars and clubs is a little different, but in the end it’s all about getting up and doing something about your situation if there is something you are not happy with.

So if you ever catch yourself just wandering around the club, or sitting and staring blankly into your beer at a houseparty, get up.

Get up the second you start feeling bad, and talk to somebody. Anybody!

It can’t really be worse than sitting alone, can it?

I don’t think so. Talk to people. That’s it.

Hope this served as a little reminder to you guys, don’t forget it. And if you do, just come back here J

Tell me about your thoughts or party tricks in the comments. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

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Top image by tgphotographer. Next one by wipeout.

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10 thoughts on “3 Surefire Ways To Be The Life of The Party

  1. matt

    This is a great article.

    I have been getting lucky lately. In September I moved to Costa Rica to teach English (you get major party points for this) and a friend got me to join this group called couchsurfing.

    Now, this isn’t a plug, but my social life has exploded thanks to this group. I used to always just hang with my small group when at parties back home, mostly cause I was comfortable that way.

    However, most everyone in this group is like me, expats living abroad (or some travelers out for fun), and EVERYONE is interesting. So at first I found myself more and more being approached while doing my own thing, people were coming up, curious as to who the new guy was.

    After a few parties, I am seeing myself walk into the party and I’m greeted by like ten people. I no longer have the option of hanging with a small corner with my small crew. So more and more, between this and teaching, my communication skills are going through a growth spurt like Barry Bonds biceps once did.

    While I am somewhat being pulled out of my (former) comfort zone, I do not feel forced in it… and going to parties has become a LOT more fun. Sometimes it takes a little help, but you should really set the beer down and go talk to the people, you never know how things will go (you can always drink quietly with your thoughts afterward at home).

    Hope this spurs some further discussion

    Matt in Costa Rica
    Pura Vida!!

  2. Alex

    Hanging in your own small group is very common Matt, I can totally relate to your past situation… But your *new* group or crew sounds very interesting! So cool to hear :-)

    And you’re right, you never know what a conversation can lead to…

    Thanks for stopping by and ‘spurring some conversation’, take care in Costa Rica!

  3. Alex Strandberg

    I suggest talking to people before you go to the party. It doesn’t matter if it’s “hey, what’s going on?” or a full out conversation. Make it a rule for the night that you will at least say hi to every girl that you see.

    This is a good article. Guys need to learn how to be social. Once you get a handle on being social where you no longer fear talking with people you can drop being the life of the party. I tried out being the life of the party and it was fun but it wasn’t really me.

    I’m glad I went through that phase because I learned so much but I’m happier that I let it go. I feel more congruent when I go out and now have the choice of whether or not I want to be social. If I’m not in the mood for it I won’t be very social or if I am I will be. But I have the choice on what I want to do.

    Women have picked up on me being more congruent and have responded a lot better. I’m being more honest and upfront about who I am.

  4. Alex


    Yeah, ‘warming up’ before a party can really help to get in the social mood…

    Saying hi to every girl might be a little extreme, but I like your approach.

    Having the choice to be social is such a big difference compared to not have the choice. Suddenly you’re in control!

    Thanks for your comment, as always :-)

  5. Sean

    This is so true and important here Alex.

    There is nothing worse than sitting in the corner of a party like an isolated wall flower. When one goes to a party what are they there for? To have fun and meet people, or sit there and feel sorry for themself? Obviously the latter.

    I can recall a few times where I was slow getting started but eventually opened up, and upon opening up I always end up meeting some really cool people. You can’t judge a book by its cover, so you never know what someone is going to be about until talking to them.

    It’s always interesting to meet new people and see what they are about, and what’s the harm in geting up off your ass and engaging a converstation with them, especially if when you don’t know to many people at the occasion.

    I surely wouldn’t want to be just sitting around waiting for someone, that almost always never works. Usually though you can find some people doing just that and you can turn things around and approach them, cause chances are they are waiting for someone to talk to them.

    No need to feel put off or intimidated cause more than likely they are dying for someone to approach them and don’t have it in them to get up and be the “life of the party” due to their own insecurities.

    While as you said most of this is common sense, common sense tends to get neglected at times and a reminder like this is always well served.

    Another good post Alex, keep ’em coming mate!

  6. Alex


    It’s amazing how good these comments have becomen! Seriously, I really enjoy reading them. So keep them coming guys :-)

    You touch on all the important points, and even some. I couldn’t agree more.

    “It’s always interesting to meet new people and see what they are about, and what’s the harm in geting up off your ass and engaging a converstation with them, especially if when you don’t know to many people at the occasion.”

    That’s pure gold. And the rest also is, for that matter.

    Thanks a ton for stopping by,


  7. Mark

    Hey Alex!

    Great post dude! I tried some of this last night, at a party in Brooklyn USA. It was cool, and it was kinda like you said. But getting the creepiness factor out of it is always a challenge. Keep up the great work man!


  8. Alex

    Thanks Mark!

    Yeah, it is. But I’d actually rather be a social creep than just a normal, boring guy. But maybe that’s just me :-)

    Take care!

  9. Mirko Hernandez

    Hey man, how you doing?
    Yes, sadly i´ve been there, it 100% describes me… i think what you said about the text messaging subjet is totally right, if the girl cares about you, she must and should anwser your sms.

    There was this chick. I texted her like 5 or 6 times. … yes i know, i shouln´t cause she never replied
    In the end she wasn´t into me that´s very clear. But now i know that thanks to you and LOGIC that it works that way.

    Take care.

  10. Alex

    Hey Mirko, I’m doing great, thanks!

    5-6 times? Wow :-) That IS pretty clear. But at least now you know.

    Better luck next time!
    And thanks for sharing.