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11 Ways to Have a Fantastic Date with the Girl of Your Dreams

Fantastic dates - The Alex Kay way Fantastic dates - The Alex Kay way

Hanging out with a girl you really like, having fun, walking around hand in hand; aren’t that one of the best ways to spend your time?

I think so. I think that a really fantastic date (no matter the “outcome”) is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

And you can have more of them. It’s really not that hard. If you have met the girl, which is the hardest part, I’ll take care of the rest. Read on soldier!

The first part of the date is the logistics. How, where and when and are you going to meet? The logistics you’ll have to handle yourself, it’s out of my hands.

But just remember to not go out of your way just to please her. Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s important. It has to be on your terms. Be the leader. Be a man.

Where to take her?

Once you get the logistics handled, you’ll have to have some kind of idea on where you’ll take her. Is it back to your place? Is it a wild night in town? Is it to a café?

Personally, I treat the first date a little different that the possible rest. I want to know if she’s something for me.

Therefore I always take a first date out to coffee. It’s easy to get away (for both of us), it’s cheap (low commitment) and it’s a very suitable environment for conversation.

Different places are great for different occasions. When picking a place to take your date, you’ll have to keep your goal in mind.

Fun should always be the main goal. But like on a first date, I want to get to know her. On the third date maybe I just want to have even more fun. So we’ll go dancing.

As a straight forward example, I wouldn’t take her dancing if conversation and comfort were my intentions for the night.

The 11 Ways to Have a Fantastic Date

Whoops, too much talk. Let’s get on with the list!

  1. Get the logistics handled
    We have already touched lightly on this, but it’s actually really important. Since it’s too unique for everyone, I can’t give concrete tips, but just remember to be the man. Don’t let her push your around, you’re in charge.
  2. Make your date congruent with your goals for the night (or day, for that matter)
    Start out lightly. Don’t go overboard with things (flying her to Rome on a second date, for example..) Think about what you want out of the night. If it’s a first kiss, a walk in the park is usually a better idea than going to a happy hour a pub. At least I don’t like kissing drunk girls, maybe you do, and then a bar would be a great idea! Just be sure about what you want (roughly).
  3. Think about commonalities
    If you know that she likes fish, going to a big aquarium might not be a bad idea. If you know she hates water, don’t take her swimming. You get the drill.
  4. Have a lot of fun
    I think I have said it a 1000 times, but it just can’t be said enough. A date is not a job interview! Don’t go to a boring restaurant, have boring food and have boring conversation. Baaad idea. Think about the element of fun when picking a place. Some funky sushi restaurant might be fun if you would really like to take her to dinner. Simply do things she might not be used to, and have fun with it.
  5. Be confident
    This is not related directly to the date, but more to you. Don’t forget yourself in the whole dating pick a place process. With no you, there wouldn’t even be a date! Simple as that. If you’re this fantastic fun, warm, outgoing guy who is at the same time a confident natural leader, with a sexy smile and things going for you, the date itself doesn’t really matter. Don’t forget to be that guy (the most attractive you) while on the date.
  6. Smile and relax
    Awkwardness is the killer of a good date. Smiling can easen up a lot of tension. So can simply taking a big breath. If you’re relaxed and calm in your own body, so will she be. If you’re generally a little anxious and nervous, taking up some yoga or meditation might not be a bad idea.
  7. Touch her right from the start
    Give her a big hug. Playfully slap her shoulder. Stroke her hair and tell her that it smells good. Kiss her. If you like the girl, the most natural thing in the world is to touch her. Don’t be shy of your intentions and nature! Don’t think that you’re “polite” by not touching her. It’s unpolite not to touch her! By not touching her you’re actually degrading her sexuality. So start touching your woman! But don’t go overboard with it, you know what I mean. It’s all about calibration.
  8. Flirt, flirt and flirt
    Flirting is the natural thing happening between a female and a male. Understand flirting, and you’ll have it all handled. But it’s hard to learn flirting just by reading, flirting is best learned through practice. Flirt with girls as much as you can. Flirting is fun!
  9. Lead her
    She has to know that she can trust you. You have to show that you’re a strong man who can protect her. Being a leader is a very masculine trait, and if you haven’t got it, you better start cultivating it.
  10. Be a little mysterious
    A little mystery around you is universally attractive. This is something I’ll write more about in the future. At its basics, it’s about not showing it all. You know, the most sexy parts are those you don’t get the full view of, right? It’s about surprising her. If you own a motorcycle, don’t tell her right away. Let her find out for herself. This draws her into your reality, which is what being a leader is really all about.
  11. End it in the bedroom
    The best dates leads to the bedroom, at least in my experience. Don’t be too eager about sex, but don’t deny your own sexuality either. You’re a man, she’s a woman, and the most natural thing in the world for you would be to have sex. So get your groove on!

Following these tips, it really shouldn’t be that hard :-)

By the way, fun making a list again. That was quite a while ago. Hope you enjoyed guys.

As always, let me know what you think in the comments. What’s your recipe for a fantastic date?

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Image by riot. Thanks!

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17 thoughts on “11 Ways to Have a Fantastic Date with the Girl of Your Dreams

  1. Jay

    Great read yet again Alex!

    For my first date i took her to the Zoo. This was great as we didnt have to think of things to talk about as we where making fun on all the aminals and flirting! I was also able to give her some protection in the bat cave when she grabed hold of me ;)

  2. Alex

    Thanks Jay!

    A Zoo date is perfect for exactly the reasons you state in your comment.

    It’s great fun, and there are lots of opportunities for flirting.

    Way to go.

  3. Abe

    Alex, I love your blog and want to share my story with your readers:

    For my first date with my girlfriend, it was completely spontaneous. I had only planned for a sushi lunch, but we were so into each other that we spent the whole day together. After sushi, there was a street festival right by the restaurant that we checked out, then we went to a nearby sculpture garden that we had spoken about during lunch. It started raining so instead of just leaving, I invited her back to my apartment to watch a movie. We talked a bit, ordered pizza, and watched the movie. During the movie we started kissing and petting each other until somehow her clothes started falling off so I carried her to my bedroom and you can guess that we had a pretty good night. That was one of the most memorable days of both of our entire lives.

    But it was spontaneous, which made it exciting. I doubt it would have worked out so well if I had planned for it. Hell, I was ashamed to bring her home since my place was a mess and I don’t have nice furniture or a TV (we watched the movie on my computer). I told her that but she said it added to the authenticity.

    I was feeling unusually confident that day and that’s what made it possible.

  4. Jay

    Abe –

    WOW! It sounds like the perfect day! for every thing to fall into place like that. It sounds like you both had a good connection.

    And yes! – confidence is the key. I made myself believe on my first date that i had what it takes to make this girl happy. Being myself also helps. Trying to be somone else will only work for so long.

  5. Alex

    Abe, that’s a great story. Being really present and confident can lead to a lot of great things, and what you write right there is a testimonial of that.

    Shouldn’t every damn day be like that? I think so. And I do my best…

    Jay, you’re right. Trying to be someone else always works out to be a bad idea. Always!

    Once again Abe thanks for the story, it just shows what’s possible.

    Stay cool!

  6. Dana

    Alex… super enjoyed reading several articles here… funny I am not a man, but I can definately learn a lot here about the males stand point. It is very refreshing to see such an open and honest approach to dating with just .. common sense!!! I truly hope more men read your blog… it will make a world of difference for the rest of us :) I will be sure to be back (*good luck and thanks)

  7. Alex


    I beg to differ :-)

    NEVER talk to a woman as if she is one of your “mates”. Ever.

    Don’t treat men and women the same – because we’re not.

    But thanks for your comment, I totally respect your viewpoint.


  8. Alex Ralston

    Hey Alex I have to say after reading your top 11 I have felt new condfidence in myself as a guy. I almost felt like you were writing it to me personally everything from having a motorcycle! I have a lot going for me and everything you have advised has matched up to what im working on doing in my dating scene. the girl I like has a casual relationship already with another guy who her family dislikes and so on with negatives. what’s is your best advice to dating this girl who is already in a relationship? it seems her friends and family want me to steal her away but id apreciate your advice!

  9. J.D.

    This stuff sounds great but what if the girl i wanna be with was my ex and there was still a chance for us to get together but she says she needs time alone? I guess i dont know if i should still try to make her fall in love with me or how to do that or to leave her alone(but doing so I’m afraid she might drift away).I know people say that if it was ment to be it was ment to be but i think that you acctually have to try in order for it to work in the future not just leave it all to time….. who knows I might be wrong. Do you have any suggestions?

  10. Robert

    Nice article with some good advice.

    However, in order to have the perfect date you need to find a girl to go out with!

    Could you write an article on how to find that girl and how to ask her out?